Author's Chapter Notes:
Huge thanks to my Beta Burnkitty *kisses*
Also a huge thanks to Edgehead for the awesome banner hugs Mel.
The beauty in breaking down part 1

Buffy couldn’t believe how well things had been going. It had been two months since they had found out about their potential record deal. Band practice in particular had become a time to chill and reflect on things. With some glee Buffy realised that her grades were steadily going up and best of all she had been spending more time with Spike, something she thought she would never get sick of. They had been to parties and he had even taken her to the beach a few times. Of course everyone else had usually been there with them, so Buffy tried not to make a big deal out of it. Nothing had even come close to happening between them even though she always found herself being pulled to him. She didn’t know whether to be glad or concerned at this.

Today she had arranged to go over to “hang” with Spike since she had no classes on. He had called her earlier to ask her to come over as soon as she was able. She had franticly rushed around the dorm, trying to find something suitable to wear, finally settling on a pair of acid washed jeans and a blue tank top. She took her time walking over there, telling herself the whole way that it was no big deal. When she arrived at the house she took a deep breath before reaching out and knocking on the front door. After hearing footsteps run to the front door she was confronted with the door being swung open to Spike standing in the frame of the door dripping wet, wearing only a towel around his waist. Buffy felt her face warm as she stared at him, droplets of water making their way down his perfectly chiselled chest.

“Hey Summers you coming in?” He asked her moving aside slightly. Gulping she realised there was no way she was going to get past without touching him in some way. She nodded and stepped forward and sure enough her elbow rubbed across his wet, hard abdominal muscles. She inwardly shivered not quite believing the effect he was consistently having on her. He closed the door before turning to her.

“I’m just going to get in to some dry clothes. Meet you in my room?”

“Um, ok.” She replied. Spike headed for the bathroom and Buffy watched him go, trying not to stare at his arse though the towel. When he disappeared down the hall she made her way to his room trying to pull herself together. She slumped down onto his neatly made bed and waited. She ended up lying on her stomach and gazing at one of the posters Spike had pinned up on the wall. She heard footsteps coming down the hall and her head instantly snapped to the door. Spike stood in the doorway with a towel in hand. He had on his usual black jeans and tight black t-shirt but Buffy couldn’t help but stare at him.

“You okay Buffy?” He raised his eyebrow at her and she just knew he had busted her. At that moment she wished that the ground would open up and swallow her whole but it didn’t. So she did the next best thing.

“Yeah I’m fine. You rang before remember said to come over as soon as I could?” She sat up and dangled her feet off the bed, trying not to stare at the way his shirt clung to his body. He walked into the room and dropped his towel on the floor, his focus still clearly on her.

“Um yeah that. My uncle called me this morning and I told him about you guys. He seemed quite interested and is looking forward to listening to your demo tape when he gets back. He said that if you are good as I say you are you’re a shoe in for a contract.”

“Oh my god!” She screamed leaping from the bed crushing him with all the strength she could muster. Taken by surprise, Spike lost his balance and fell, twisting so he landed squarely on his back on the bed. Buffy laid on top of him for the moment her head giddy from the news. Her lips were dangerously close to his ear.

“Thank you, thank you so much.” She whispered. Spike could have sworn her lips actually grazed his ear lobe. Buffy arched her back to look at him, his blue eyes twinkling back at her. Her heart began to beat faster as Spike reached up and tucked a loose hair behind her ear before he let his hand caress the side of her face.

“You’re beautiful you know that?” he whispered as he ran a finger across her lower lip. Buffy shuttered at the contact but had no time to enjoy this small pleasure as at that moment a memory flooded her mind.

She was sitting on the grass out the front of the university, Parker sitting beside her. He was currently checking out some blonde with big breasts. Her right eye was swollen and black and she could still taste the blood from her swollen split lip. The blonde disappeared out of view and Parker turned his attention to her. With a blinding movement he grabbed a fistful of her hair and pulled her roughly towards him. She almost cried out from the pain and closed her eyes in a small act of defiance.

“Look at me!” He hissed at her. Reluctantly she opened her eyes only to be confronted with his practically laughing at her. He ran his thumb over her lip before he spoke.

“You’re beautiful you know that?” He said before painfully crushing her lips with his own.


As Buffy came out of her memory she could feel Spike’s lips grazing hers so softy, begging for some kind of sign from her. She looked at him, startled for a moment before she got up and started for the door. Spike inwardly groaned. She had no idea how crazy she was driving him. But he knew she needed time. Buffy stopped short of the door and turned to look at him.

“I’m sorry I… I just can’t.” She explained shakily. He sat up to look at her.

“Its fine really I understand. Buffy if you ever need to talk you can trust me… you know that right?” Buffy nodded her head.

“Thanks. I need time.”

“I understand luv really.” Spike realised more then ever that he needed to change where this conversation was going and fast. She already looked like a deer caught in headlights and the last thing that he wanted to do was scare her away completely.

“So did you hear me and the guys are getting a band together?”

“Really? That’s great!” Spike felt himself relax as she walked back into the room, the previous altercation forgotten. She plopped herself down onto the bed and crossed her legs. Her face was covered in interest, wanting to know more.

“Yeah it was all Oz’s idea. Wes is going to manage us.”

“Like that is any surprise.” Buffy giggled. Spike nodded.

“He claimed that he didn’t want to be the sissy hanging in the background doing nothing. Um, who else? Oh Riley is going to be on the keyboard and Angel is going to be on lead guitar. Xander is going to be the drummer…” Buffy laughed at this.

“Always knew he liked smashing things.”

“Tell me about it; have you seen all the holes in the walls here? I swear there is a new one every week! Ah..hmm. Oz is going to be our bass guitarist and I was voted in as lead singer. Unanimous decision. All the other boys claim they couldn’t hold a note if their life depended on it.”

“I can understand that, I heard Angel singing in the shower once, so not his thing. Have you guys come up with a name yet?”

“Funny you ask. Oz actually wants to call out band The Dingos Ate my Baby. I tend not to disagree; I think its kinda fitting for us lot.” Buffy smiled at this, her green eyes twinkling with mischief.

“It is strange but I like it all the same. Hey! You know I could talk to Devon at the Bronze, he is the manager there. I could see if he could put you guys on one night, when you’re ready of course.”

“Thanks Buffy that would be great. How goes the song writing with you anyway?”

“Me and the girls are actually going to play another Slayer original tonight at the Bronze. You should come.” Spike looked down at his feet, silently cursing himself again. He had forgotten all about them performing tonight.

“I can’t I… um… I kinda have this thing tonight. A date kinda thing.”

“Oh…” Buffy felt her heart clench in her chest. She stood and fiddled with the hem of her shirt. Spike felt terrible.

“But you know we could swing by. If you want. You know to hear you play.” He tried to reason with her. But he knew it was too late, she already had that pained look in her eye.

“No that’s okay… I… I should go. I have study to catch up on… have a good time tonight.” She muttered, glancing at her empty wrist and walked out the bedroom door. Spike grimaced as he heard the front door shut behind her. One step forward and two steps backwards as it always seemed to be with her. He knew he had to go to her gig tonight. To the very minimum to show that he actually really did give a damn.

~~~*~~~

By the time the girls had finished setting up it was border lining 8:30. The club seemed to be filling up quickly as Buffy scanned the crowd. But her heart leapt up into her throat when she seen a familiar bleach blonde walk towards the stage with a familiar blonde clinging to him for dear life. She almost gagged before turning to head back stage to grab her guitar. She heard Cordelia come up behind her who had just finished chugging down a bottle of soda. Tossing the can into the trash she turned her attention to her friend.

“Hey Buffy what’s biting at you? You seem a little tense.”

“Nothing I’m fine.” She bit back.

“Yep sure and I’m the Queen of Sheba.” Buffy turned to her friend with her eyebrow cocked and a look of are you kidding me written all over her face. Cordelia returned the look and Buffy finally caved.

“Spike’s here with his date.” She spat.

“Date? What date?”

“That scrag Harmony. Can you believe that? I mean I thought he had better taste then that. Harmony is an air head for Christ’s sake. I mean she would be lucky to have, half a brain.” Buffy ranted on. Cordelia bit her lip to contain the smile that was threatening to burst forward. No time like the present to nudge her a little about how she really felt about Spike.

“Why so bent out of shape? I thought you where just friends.”

“We are just friends. I just thought he had better taste in women is all.” Buffy huffed reaching for her guitar. Denial was a strong emotion.

“If you say so.” Cordelia replied before following Buffy back out to the stage.

~~~*~~~

Buffy stepped up to the microphone, purposefully ignoring Spike’s intense gaze on her as she rallied up the crowd. As Faith counted the band in for the first song, Spike felt a sharp tug on his shirt.

“Spikey, come dance with me.”

“Not now. I want to listen.”

“But Blondie bear…” She pleaded, poking out her bottom lip. It did nothing to help her though.

“Harm I said no!” He didn’t usually snap at people like that let alone women but she had been driving him up the wall all night with her pleading and begging. He hadn’t even known why he had agreed to go on the date with her really. He knew nothing would come out of it; his heart was already set on the blonde performing on stage. Sighing he watched as a shocked Harmony let go of his arm and drifted out to the dance floor by herself. He turned his attention back to the reason he had come here in the first place, to watch Buffy perform.


Chapter End Notes:
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