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Author's Chapter Notes:
A HUGE thanks to my Beta Burnkitty for working on this chapter for me.
Also a MASSIVE thanks to Edgehead for the awesome banner.
Song: Ever the same By: Rob Thomas.
Part 8

Ever the same.

Buffy nervously knocked on Spike’s front door. She could hear her heart thudding against her chest and she was sure it was going to explode from the anticipation of the situation. However, it didn’t take long for the door to swing open with Spike standing there, fitted with a blank expression. It was almost like he was expecting her.

“I’m sorry I called you dense,” Buffy blurted out, not really thinking. Relief washed over her in waves when a small smile appeared on Spike lips as he stepped aside in the doorway.

“Come in,” he gestured. Buffy walked inside, stopping to wait, not really sure where she was meant to go. Her stomach felt squeamish. Spike shut the door with a soft thud, turning to her.

“There is, err, no one home, would you like to go sit?” Spike gestured to the lounge room. Buffy nodded, her mouth seemingly stuck together with superglue. However, the second she sat, the words she wanted to say began to flow.

“You’re not dense Spike. In fact, I think you’re great. It’s just, I wasn’t ready.”

“And you are now?” Spike lent forward, just out of reach. She looked into his eyes, knowing that she was ready to tell him everything about her torturous time with Parker, taking a much need breath she began her story.

By the time she finished, Buffy could see tears glistening in Spike’s eyes. He said nothing; instead, he wrapped his arms around her and pulled her close. Then, her own tears falling softly, being absorbed by Spike’s shirt. He held her until long after her tears were gone.

All too soon it was time for her to get up from Spike’s embrace and get ready for Spike’s gig at the Bronze. With one last hug, Buffy left, knowing that for once in her life, things I felt right.

~~~*~*~~~

Buffy sat at a table with her friends at the Bronze. It was almost 11 pm and she was happily listening to Spike and his band perform. They had been performing since 8 pm, only taking a short break in between sets. They were finishing up soon as the club was closing early tonight; the owner was in the middle of doing renovations. As the song faded out, Buffy looked up at Spike, who gave her a quick wink.

“Just so you guys know, the Bronze will be closing early tonight. This will be our last song. I hope you all enjoyed our band,” The crowd cheered and whistled wildly. “I wrote this next song just before the show after talking with the bravest women I know. Buffy, this is for you. It’s called ever the same.” Buffy almost toppled off her chair in surprise. But she didn’t have time to think as the beat started filling the room. She saw the band members exchange a knowingly look to each other, small smiles gracing each of their features. Buffy could see Spike tapping his foot in time with the song as well as Xander grinning behind his drum set. Then, Spike moved up to the microphone, his voice filling the room.

We were drawn from the weeds
We were brave like soldiers
Falling down under the pale moonlight
You were holding to me
Like a someone broken
And I couldn't tell you but I'm telling you now

Buffy could feel almost the entire room staring at her in awe. She could feel her face going bright red and her heart pounding against her chest. But as embarrassed as she was, she concentrated on Spike’s sweet message, blocking out the blatant looks of surprise and jealousy the crowd was giving her.

Just let me hold you while you're falling apart
Just let me hold you so we both fall down

Spike’s eyes found hers, locking with them instantly. These words, were only for her.

Fall on me
Tell me everything you want me to be
Forever with you forever in me
Ever the same

A small cheer rose up as the rest of the band played and Spike smiled. He could see in Buffy’s eyes she still doubted herself. He wanted to show her that trusting him would be okay. Sitting there, Buffy could feel that too and decided right there that tonight at the house party would be the time to tell him just that.

We would stand in the wind
We were free like water
Flowing down
Under the warmth of the sun
Now it's cold and we're scared
And we've both been shaken
Look at us
Man, this doesn't need to be the end

Spike knew he was taking a huge risk with her, knowing this could back fire on him and end badly. But the look in her eyes as she looked up at him, he knew somehow everything was going to be okay.

Just let me hold you while you're falling apart
Just let me hold you so we both fall down
Fall on me tell me everything you want me to be
Forever with you
Forever in me
Ever the same
Call on me
I'll be there for you and you'll be there for me
Forever it's you
Forever in me
Ever the same

Buffy could feel the fear tingle at the base of her spine as she watched the rest of the band fully submerged in the musical melody they put forth and she felt like she should be running scared. She remembered the promise she had made to herself, which was she wouldn’t get involved with anyone ever again. It had all happened so fast though, all their time together and it had just happened. This was something she knew she had no control over. It was her heart guiding her now, not her head.

You may need me there
To carry all your weight
But you're no burden I assure
You tide me over
With a warmth I'll not forget
But I can only give you love

Oz’s voice backed him up perfectly and Spike watched Buffy swaying slightly to the song. He knew he had to thank the rest of the men in the band for putting this together so quickly. He spared a quick glance around at the rest of the crowd, which were also swaying, some even with their arms above their heads. His gaze washed back over to Buffy and he realized he had not been surprised when he found himself falling more and more for this girl every day. He knew he couldn’t walk away from her now; he was already so much in love with her.

Fall on me
Tell me everything you want me to be
Forever with you
Forever in me
Ever the same
Call on me
I'll be there for you and you'll be there for me
Forever it's you
Forever in me
Ever the same

Buffy felt herself mesmerized by the words spilling from Spike’s lips, her eyes only for him now.

Forever with you
Forever in me
Ever the same

Forever the same

Yes, Spike realized, he was so very much in love with Buffy and he hoped when she saw that and she wouldn’t run in fear. He could see the fear in there still, his will power not strong enough to make it disappear like he wished. Vaguely, he watched Angel step forward and take control of the song, his face lighting up at his chance to be noticed. Still, Spike’s eyes were only for Buffy.

Oh yeah

Spike bowed his head, sparing a glance back at the rest of his band as Riley played the last chord out on the keyboard. He was grinning he realized, not being this happy in so long. The crowd went wild as the song finished giving them a standing ovation. Spike smiled sheepishly out at the crowd.

“Thank you guys for coming. I hope you all enjoyed yourselves. Have yourselves a good night!” With that, Spike jumped down off the stage and walked directly to Buffy. She stood to meet him, not thinking, her breath catching in her throat.

“Hey,” he said as he reached her. His smile was wide, warm and inviting.

“Hey,” she replied looking down, shy all of the sudden.

“Are you coming to the after party?”

“Yeah,”

“Cool… um maybe we could talk when you get there.”

“That would be great.”

“See you there then,” he smiled, turning back and walking back up to the stage. Buffy hung her head, her face scarlet. She could see all the girls giggling out of the corner of her eye. Just then, she felt a finger under her chin. Moving her head upward she could see Spike before her, his eyes soft, inviting. He cupped his hands around her cheeks, drawing her in. As their lips touched, Buffy could feel her head spinning. All too soon Spike pulled away, leaving her longing for more. Smiling at her softly, Spike turned once again to the stage and Buffy watched as he walked off. His walk was confident, happy. Buffy sighed contently; knowing that later would be worth waiting for.


Chapter End Notes:
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