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Author's Chapter Notes:
THank you to my beta for editing... and sorry posted the wrong version earlier.
Buffy awoke to find the clock flashing midnight. She had been out for a couple of hours. She hadn’t mean to fall asleep, but was still so drained from the day’s emotional roller coaster.

“Spike,” she whispered. He must have come while I was asleep. Why didn’t he wake me up or call me? The thought almost brought tears to her eyes. She grabbed her phone ready to call him screaming when she realized there was in fact a missed call from Spike. In relief, a sigh escaped that he had tried after all.

Debating over whether to call and have him come over now or wait until tomorrow to finish their earlier discussion, she finally gave in and dialed Spike’s number not wanting go through another day of misery.

“Buffy?” he answered, obviously wide awake.

“Can you come over?” Buffy asked madly hoping he would say yes. She wanted to finish their discussion and get back to their normal selves again.

“Of course luv, I’ll be right over.” He hung the phone up and raced down the stairs to his car.


Meanwhile, instead of simply waiting for Spike to knock on her window, she got off the bed to fix her hair and putt on some lip gloss. After all, it didn’t hurt to look her best, especially if things were going to work out the way she hoped they would.

Buffy picked up the tissues that were scattered across her bed from earlier. She didn’t want Spike knowing that she had been home crying all day over him. She cleaned up her room throwing her shoes in the closet and making her bed. Buffy had always loved her room, it was very plain now that she thought of it, and most of the stuff she owned was very outdated.



Spike tapped on the window startling Buffy. She opened it to let him crawl in just as she had the night before and just about every night before that and if Buffy could have it her way he would be crawling in again tomorrow night. He sat on the bed waiting for Buffy to make the first move. She sat down next to him and looked him in the eyes. “We need to resolve this. I can’t live not know the truth. I want to know it all. I won’t judge you and I promise I will keep an open mind.”

“Ok.” Spike sighed. “this is going to get interesting” He was praying that she had called him over to just make up and forgive his past. He didn’t exactly want to explain his past.


Buffy said pulled Spike's hand into hers. “I’m ready.”

“I met Faith two years ago, she was a good girl. She was quiet but smart and very into experiencing new things. We had been dating for about six months when she told me she was practicing witch craft. At first I didn’t like the sound of it and didn’t want to have anything to do with it.” He pulled out his pack of cigarettes and lit one up. “I didn’t want to be involved with all the bloody craziness she started to get into, but she got to me when I sat in on one of her spells.

Buffy interrupted. “So you just went with it? You didn’t care about what danger you could have been put in?”

“Basically, she told me it was nothing dangerous so I believed her and went to her place and watched her perform a simple spell and do some tricks. I thought it was pretty cool decided to give it a try. I helped her with a couple of spells and she taught me some cool things I could do on my own.”

“What? Are you kidding me?” Buffy asked angrily. “You were some kind of witch freak?” She was beginning to think that she didn’t know him like she thought she did.

“No. I’m sorry. You said you wanted the truth and this is it luv. I can stop but that’s up to you. What do you want me to do?” He asked.

Breathing deeply, she replied: “Keep going. I need to know the truth no matter how hard it is to hear.”

“Okay. I started getting into the magic scene practicing on my own time and helping Faith when she was doing her difficult spells. I found it all exciting and wanted to be a part of everything. Things were going good for us and we had been together about eight months when I started noticing Faith was acting different and her aura had changed. One day I became worried when she didn’t come to school, so I went to her place after I got out of class. I walked in her room and saw something that changed me forever.”

“What was it?” She had no clue what he was going to say and it honestly scared her.

“I busted in on Faith worshiping a demon at a makeshift altar she had in her closet. When she saw me come in she flung me against the wall and pinned me there with her magic. I had never seen her like that before and I had no idea that she was practicing the dark arts.” He stopped to evaluate Buffy’s expression. She was terrified, and he worried there would be no coming back from this conversation.

She returned his stare, knowing he was contemplating going on with his story. “Don’t stop Spike. I can handle it.”

He pulled out his cigarettes and lit one up.

“I never knew she was so powerful. While she had me pinned against the wall she tried to seduce me into the dark side. I fought her as hard as I could but she was so strong. She told me she wouldn’t let me go and if I would just join her... But I couldn’t, there was no way I would touch that shit. So she kept me captive in her room for almost three days trying every trick and spell she could to turn me. When I finally caught her off guard and shot an energy bolt into her back, her hold on me dropped and I escaped. That night I went home packed a bag and left the country.” He shuddered thinking back to that horrible point in his life.

“She kept you prisoner?” Buffy asked, shocked. “How could you have even let it get to that point? Do you still practice magic?”

“I haven’t done any magic since that day. Buffy, now you see why I didn’t tell you about my past. I'm not proud of what I had to do. I’m sorry. I know this isn’t what you signed on for. I understand if you want me to leave.” He stood, ready to walk out of her life if it was what she wanted. Though he knew walking away would not be that easy. He loved Buffy and he didn’t want to leave her.

“I can’t believe this. It's so unreal,” she cried, cradling her head in her hands.

“I guess I'll be leaving then.” He knew there was no coming back from this and now he had lost her forever.

Buffy sat there trying to digest his story. She didn’t understand why all this had happened but she knew she loved him enough to over come this. She stood up, walked to Spike and looked him in the eyes. “I love you, and I may not understand this whole thing, but I know that I still want to be with you. You are everything to me and nothing could change that, not even this.” The sound of her breathing was barely audible as she waited for Spike’s reaction.

“I love you too,” Spike blurted out in between tears. He opened his arms and pull Buffy close, kissing her. He thought he had lost her and now that she had accepted his past he knew they would be better for it. How could I be so lucky?

Buffy leaned into his kiss wrapping her arms around his neck. It felt so wonderful to be in his arms again. This is what she lived for; being with him was the only true happiness she had.

Buffy pushed Spike’s black leather jacket off his broad shoulders, letting it drop to the floor. Her hands slid down his muscular arms and she looked into his eyes, seeing the fire that she felt in her own heart. Standing on her toes to reach his height, she kissed lightly him on the ear and let her lips trail down his neck, stopping to pull off his shirt. When the garment was discarded, her fingers grazed down his chest, outlining his abs, until reaching for his belt.

Spike grabbed her hands kissing her fingers and palms, then pushed them above her head and removed her shirt. Tracing the lace of her bra he bent down and kissed her collar bone, making his way toward her stomach. He loved the way she tasted, that sweet flavor of cream and sugar. She moaned as he kissed her navel trying to be quiet as to not wake up her mom.

Buffy grabbed Spike’s pants and pulled him closer to her, she needed him desperately and wanted to be lost in their love. She pulled his belt loose and ripped it from his pants; there was a small thump as it hit the floor. Unbuttoning his pants, she tugged them down and kissed his stomach - as had done to her - running her tongue down. She slid her hand into his boxers and began to stroke him. Spike sighed in ecstasy.

Spike picked up Buffy and laid her down on the bed, pulling off her pants and underwear. He reached to the bottom of the bed and pulled the covers up with him. Buffy had already removed her bra and had reached for his boxers to pull them off. Spike moved on top of her and started kissing her again, dipping his tongue in and out of her mouth. Massaging his tongue against hers, stopping to bite her bottom lip.

Buffy’s hips raised and she moaned as Spike teased her with his tongue. She needed him inside her now. She reached down and grabbed him trying to hint at what she wanted, but he just kept teasing her. He moved down to her breasts and ran his tongue across her nipples then, lightly blew, hardening them. Buffy was close to the edge and she couldn’t wait.

“Spike I need you…now,” she moaned, wrapping her legs around his waist trying to pull him into her.

Spike was aching to be inside her and decided that it was time to end their misery. He slid into her, sending chills down Buffy’s spine. He moved slowly drawing out their pleasure, dipping in and out leisurely. He looked into Buffy’s eyes and kissed her deeply, making her wrap her legs around his waist tighter to pull him in deeper.

Buffy was already on edge, but when Spike plunged into her harder, she was even closer to orgasm. She tried to hold it back, wanting them to come together, and pushed Spike onto his back to straddled him. Spike gasped as she bent over and started sucking on his ears, slowly running her tongue across his lobe as she moved her hips in unison with his thrusts. She pinned his hands above his head and began moving faster bringing Spike to the same point she was.

Spike was close to bursting; he pushed Buffy back down on her back and began thrusting into her faster. He knew she was close and now he was to. He could feel his heart beating faster. He thrust into her as deep as he could, sending himself over the edge.

“I love you, Spike.” Buffy moaned as she came.

Her contractions brought Spike to his orgasm as he thrust into her one last time. She felt the warm fluid fill her insides as he collapsed beside her. He pulled her to his chest and kissed her. “I love you too Buffy,” he told her, as she rested her head on his chest.

They laid there in that position for what seemed like an eternity, not saying anything. Buffy had never felt so safe in her life, it was as if Spike held the key to her happiness in his hands and all he had to do was love her in return.

Buffy fell asleep to the sound of Spike’s heartbeat while Spike laid there watching her sleep, slowly drifting in and out of consciousness. He knew he couldn’t stay the night because Buffy’s mom would have a fit, but he didn’t want to leave her. He knew had to go and he kissed Buffy on the head. “Are you leaving?” she asked as she woke up.

“Sorry luv, your mum would kill me if she found me in here and I don’t want to get you in trouble.”

“I know, you’re right, I just wish you could stay.”

“I know luv, me too. Don’t worry though, I'll be back tomorrow morning bright and early. You get some sleep,” he told her.

“Ok baby, I love you.” She kissed him as he slipped out of bed, bending over to pick up his clothes. ‘He has a really nice ass,’ she laughed to herself as he climbed out the window.

“I love you more than you will ever know,” he whispered into the night air.

*********
“YOU CANT HAVE HIM!” Faith screamed as she woke up from her dream. She could see everything that had just happened between Spike and Buffy. “You wont win in the end Buffy. I will have him!” she yelled throwing a fire ball at the wall leaving a big scorch mark. Faith had no idea why she could see Spike in her dreams now; she didn’t have that power before. ‘Hrothgar must have seen it fit for me to see what was happening. There is no other way to explain it.’

Faith thought back to when Spike had left her. He hadn’t changed much in the year he was gone. She had looked everywhere for him. She had tried spells to locate him and none of them came up with anything. She had almost given up and was on her last shot to find him when she had called to Hrothgar for help. She knew he would have to be a last resort. Once you enlist the help of a demon you had to be ready for whatever consequences came along with it. Faith wasn’t sure what Hrothgar would want in return for his help, but she knew she wanted Spike back and would do whatever it took.

Faith was so entwined in evil that she had lost pieces of her mind. At this point she wasn’t even sure why Spike had left her in the first place. The way that she saw it was no where near the truth.

Blinded by rage, in her mind Buffy had taken him from her in England. She had produced this imaginary scenario where Buffy had seduced him and stolen him from her. She didn’t realize that in reality she had chased him away with her abuse of dark magic. She didn’t remember the physical pain that she had inflicted on him in those days she had kept him captive, hurting him over any little thing that he would say or do, she had lost a chunk of her mind to black magic. When Spike had escaped and disappeared the rest of her mind left with him. She did love Spike at one point and in her own sick way she still loved him. She just couldn’t love him the way a sane person could because she was so clouded by evil that there was no turning back from it now.

Getting out of bed and made a quick potion to put her back to sleep. She knew that tomorrow would be a big day and she would need all her strength. Laying back down, she vowed to destroy Buffy if it was the last thing she did, before drinking down the elixir and falling asleep.





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