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“What was that all about? I thought you wanted to talk to him and get everything all straightened out.” Willow asked with a confused look on her face.

“I do, I do I am just too mad right now to talk to him and I don’t want to say something that I will regret. I just love him so much and I guess everything that I feel for him is really intense.” Buffy replied wondering if she had made the right choice.’ I know that I did what was right I need to cool off’

“Well I guess you know what is best for you…just be careful!” Willow warned her.

“I will, I promise you that. I WILL NOT LOOSE HIM.” She said walking into her next class. “See you after chemistry.”


*************

‘What the hell was that all about? I know she is mad but she has never just left me without a kiss’ Spike stood there dazed as to what just happened. He knew she was mad but damn how could she just leave him hanging. He had never seen her so angry before and he was starting to get worried.

“Where’s Buff?” Xander asked totally oblivious to the situation.

“How should I know I’m not her damn keeper? If you’re so worried about her why don’t you go find her.” Spike growled as he walked away and headed to class. He knew he shouldn’t have taken it out on Xander but he was just so angry about the whole situation and wasn’t thinking clearly.

“Wow what the hell is going on around here. Nobody ever tells me anything. Let’s just leave dumb Xander out of the loop as usual…” He mumbled to his self walking to chemistry ‘maybe Buffy will know what’s going on’

**************


“Hey Buffster what is the deal with Spike? He is acting like an elephant is trying to crawl up his ass.” He laughed to himself painting the picture in his head.

“I don’t know Xander, he’s Spike.” She said quietly trying to hide her uncertainty, knowing quite well what was bothering spike. The same thing that was bothering her. ‘Maybe I should have talked to him after class, no, no just be strong Buffy you will work things out’ she thought trying to reassure herself.

The rest of chemistry was uneventful, Xander blew spitballs at the teacher and dozed off for half the class, but Buffy just couldn’t shake her feelings. She just sat in her desk thinking of different excuses for Spike, not knowing the truth was killing her, she didn’t think they had any secrets between the two of them, and now she just didn’t know.


*******


The rest of the day Buffy took different routes to her classes trying to avoid Spike, Willow and Xander. She knew that if she talked to any of them it would only make the situation worse and right now she needed to focus on school. Her mom was already lecturing her on the importance of a good education, so she tried to put the whole dreading what was to come at 3:30. When the last bell rang its newly distressing ring she gathered her things and headed to her locker where she knew Spike would be waiting for her. Walking slowly as her heart sank deeper and deeper into her stomach.

There he was just like Buffy thought he would be leaning up against her locker waiting and dreading this moment as much as she was. He had a look of desperation on his face never making eye contact as she walked closer. This she thought was a sure sign of guilt, but as she moved closer it was clearly a sign of torment. She could only imagine the things that were going through his mind right now.

“Buffy?” He whispered solemnly “Do you want to talk to me?

“Yes I do, but we need to wait until after we drop off Willow and Xander. We need to be alone for awhile.” She replied her voice raspy.

“Ok I understand” Spike answered standing there longing to make every thing right again.

The ride to Xander and Willows house was a quiet and awkward, no one wanted to talk. Even Xander who normally wouldn’t stay quiet sat in the back quiet as a mouse. Silence was only broken once the pulled up to Willow’s house. When Xander and Willow got out of the car, Willow rubbing Buffy’s shoulder wishing her good luck and saying goodbye.

“W-w-where do you want to go?” Spike asked stuttering.

“My house we can talk in my room.” she answered thinking if her mom would be home.

They pulled into her driveway and headed into the house. They went straight into her room where just last night they had made love in her bed. Buffy grabbed one of her stuffed animals and sat on the bed holding it tightly to her chest, while Spike sat in the chair at her vanity.

“Ok, I want you to be completely honest with me Spike, are you cheating one me?” She said hesitantly, praying he would answer no and she would believe him.

“No God No Buffy I love you so much and I would never do that to you! You are my world now and I don’t ever want to lose you.” He answered a little hurt that she didn’t know better.

“Ok, well than who was that girl? I’ve never seen her in Sunnydale before today and I know she doesn’t go to school with us.” She asked believing that he didn’t cheat on her and feeling apprehensive of his next answer.

“She is a girl that I dated and England, but I ended it a long time ago and never thought I was going to see her again.” He replied trying to reassure her.

Buffy sat there thinking to herself. Wondering if she even wanted to bring up his past, she knew he had a past just like she did, and he never once asked her about it. Did she have the right to force him to tell his when she knew damn well she wasn’t going to tell hers?

“Ok if you dated her in England then what is she doing here? I mean do you still have feelings for her?” She asked, hoping that he would answer her quickly and with the right response.

“No I left her a long time ago, she is practically insane. She was into…” he said stopping before he exposed too much.

“She was into what? Spike why didn’t you finish what you were saying?” She asked him trying to complete his sentence for him in her head. ‘What could she be into?’

“None of that matters now luv, it’s a part of my past and I want to keep it there.” He answered quickly.

“Well obviously she is not staying in the past so neither is your history with her. I need to know what went on between you two.” Buffy demanded. She had a right to know what his past was seeing as how it was now part of their future.


********
Meanwhile on the other side of town in a small loft Faith found herself alone. Thinking about the girl she saw with spike. ‘Who could she be? That couldn’t be his girlfriend she was definitely not his type. Blonde cheerleader type never, Spike only like the intellectual type, and there is no way she is smart.’ She laughed to herself.

Faith stood at her bathroom counter angered at the thought of Spike being with someone else. She couldn’t allow this to happen. How could he even have left her? Thinking about all this just enraged her more.

“HE WILL BE MINE AGAIN! I don’t care what I have to do. Spike and I have a bond that is more than this earth.” Faith talked into her mirror. “Doesn’t he know he can’t leave me...? I won’t allow him to just walk away this time. No matter who stands in my way I will get what I want!” she said snapping her fingers and pulled them apart holding in her hand a ball of fire.

Faith’s powers had increased greatly since she was last with spike. Now she was even deeper into the black arts, its evil essence flowed through her veins, allowing her emotions to rule her actions. Faith had begun witchcraft a few months into her relationship with Spike. He didn’t care that she was dabbling in witchcraft so long as she stayed away from the dark side. He thought she was strong enough to evade its seductive powers, so he stayed with her and would occasionally sit in on a few of her spells. He found it all very interesting until he started sensing things were not normal.


********

Spike thought for a second before answering her “Buffy I want you to know that when I was with Faith I was a different person and I did things that I am not proud of. I don’t want you to look at me different after I tell you this. So I want to know if you believe our love can overcome anything.”

‘What? What could he have done that was so bad? As if my mother wasn’t enough of a strain on our relationship.’ She thought to herself before answering him. “Of course I believe our love can overcome anything. I doubt it is as bad as you are making it out to be.”

“Ok then I will tell you about me and Faith’s past relationship, I just ask that you let me tell it in my own way in my own time. It is a complicated history and it can’t just be blurted out.” He told her just as Buffy’s mom came busting through the door.

“Oh, Hi Spike it is so nice to see you” Joyce said in her sarcastic motherly tone. “Will you be staying for dinner?”

“Mom, me and Spike are in the middle of a conversation right now and we need some privacy do you mind?” Buffy grunted to Joyce.

“No I don’t mind, I also don’t mind paying the bills, which give me the right to make the rules which I definitely don’t mind. So if you would like to continue this conversation with Spike you need to move it to the living room.” Joyce said forcefully.

“Fine we are on our way down.” Buffy pleaded “Just give me a minute alone please?”

Joyce looked at her daughter realizing that this was definitely a serious conversation between the two of them, at least it was to Buffy. Joyce turned on her toes and walked out of the room not even acknowledging her daughters plead.

“Obviously we can’t have this conversation in my living room with my mom listening from the kitchen. I guess we can talk about this later tonight once she has gone to bed around 11. Just come back and knock on my window.” Buffy advised Spike.

“Ok. I love you!” he said kissing her on the cheek then turning to walk out of her room. He waited three seconds for her to answer him back praying she would tell him she loved him too.

“I love you to Spike” she whispered almost to quiet for him to hear, but it was enough to give him hope.





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