Spike would have gulped if he could have even swallowed, she was a vision in red, his favorite color; now more than even fifteen seconds ago.
“Buffy, my god, you’re breathtaking.”
She blushed and smiled, astounded herself at just how deliciously improper he somehow managed to make the black tailored tuxedo look.
She laughed, “I feel like I’m going to prom or something” she admitted, and he smiled, “Guess that makes me the luckiest bloke at the dance” he said with a wink and handed her the lilies he had brought.
“They’re beautiful, thank you.”
“They don’t even compare” he whispered but she’d caught it and leaned in to press a sweet kiss to the corner of his mouth. “You’re sweet.”
“I’m honest” he corrected.
‘Oh my god, can girls really swoon?’ Buffy asked herself while she went to the kitchen to get a vase for the stunning bouquet of, how did he know, her favorite flowers. She reasoned that Giles could have told him but somehow knew that it wasn’t the case, somehow he had just known and to add another somehow, she wasn’t surprised.
She walked back into the front room as he offered his arm, “M’lady.”
She took it and giggled, “You look wonderful by the way, very handsome.”
“Just handsome?”
“Fine, very handsomely sexy.”
“S’ better. Shall we away?”
“Sometimes you speak like you’re very old, did you know that?”
He laughed, “I suppose it comes from all the old books I read, can’t complain though, makes me quite the catch”, he added a quick wink and she laughed again.
“Big ego.”
“Suits my big man parts.”
“Thank you for proving me right.”
“Thank you for being my date tonight” he said, all traces of joking gone.
“It’s my pleasure, really.” Buffy admitted and thanked him for opening the car door.
“We’ve only known each other for a week” he said out of nowhere, his voice thick with trepidation.
“And?” Buffy asked, stomach knotting in fear, ‘Here it comes’ she thought and felt the disappointment flood through her body, she was sure that he was going to tell her they couldn’t see each other after tonight.
His free hand reached for hers while the other steered the car, “And I like you very much.”
The breath she’d been holding came out in a whoosh, and he a worried eyebrow, “You ok?”
“Ya, I just thought…I thought you were going to say something else, it’s nothing. Don’t worry about it.”
His frown deepened, “I know it hasn’t been long enough for me to gain your trust Buff…”
“No” she interrupted, “It’s not that, I promise. You have my trust, I don’t know how but you do; it’s myself I don’t trust…not to screw this up I mean.”
He went to speak but she squeezed his hand, “Just lemme’ finish, ok?”
He nodded.
“I’ve gone down so many bad roads that I forgot that there could be good ones…good guys to travel them with. And this thing, whatever it is, with you has me terrified. I want to believe in happy endings, I really do, but I hate that life offers no guarantees when it comes to relationships. Like, why can’t I wake up one morning and just know that you’re the guy I’ll be with six months from now, or five years…you know?”
“I understand where you’re coming from, I do, but half the fun is in not having the guarantee, in fighting to make it a guarantee. What would you ever figure out in life if you never had to learn? Learn what was right for you, what wasn’t…your book for example, do you know what’s going to happen every step of the way or do you figure out some things as you write?”
“I write as I go, the ideas come to me.”
“Well, that’s how life goes too, nothing of importance can really be anticipated but when you find out what is important, you keep it with you as long as you can.”
“Remember when I told you that I think I like you?”
“I most certainly do, that was one of those important things that I told you about, to me at least” he said with a chuckle and threw her a smile which she returned.
“Well, I KNOW I like you” she said softly.
There was a brief but comfortable silence in the car as he chose the right words, “Well now, if that’s not something worth fighting for I don’t know what is.”
“Do you think you could love me?” she blurted out and felt the embarrassed heat flushing her cheeks, not believing she’d just said that to him and waiting for some sort of obnoxious remark, the kind she would have made if someone had asked her that after only a week.
“I certainly do Elizabeth.”
She chose not to open her mouth again, not trusting herself enough to not ruin the moment but noted that he didn’t ask her the same question but saw that the small smile playing on his lips seemed to be in no rush to disappear and she found herself happier than she had been in a long while.
In the very first book of her series, when Sarah had met James, she had written:
“And in that moment between the first second and the third, the moment that seems to stretch on past forever, she knew that she could love him given time. She didn’t know the hows or the whys of the situation, that was the mind’s job to figure out, but the hearts job was done.”
“Penny for your thoughts?” he asked after a few moments of easy silence.
“I was thinking about my first book” she admitted.
“Any part in particular kitten?”
“When Sarah met James. What are you thinking about?”
“My life.”
“Any part in particular?” she asked teasingly, repeating his words.
“When William met Buffy.”
“Oh…”
“And that moment between the first second and the third.” he added quietly though loud enough for her to understand he’d wanted her to hear him quote her work, a small blush starting at his neck, she noticed.
She opened her mouth to ask him how he could remember but he beat her to it,
“I like to make note and remember everything that strikes me as powerful and when I read your first book that was the first time I’d seen in words what I believe. I think it only takes a moment, a single second for you to know you’ll love someone. Maybe it takes months for the act itself to happen, could be while you’re watching someone do the dishes, or while you’re looking them in the eyes or just watching a program while you’re laughing at the same parts and then there’s this big feeling of relief that floods you, because it’s finally happened, that love you knew could happen has, and it’s the best moment of your life because from the moment you’re heart has let you feel something, even just a crumb, to that moment of realization, the in between has been nothing but more time to listen to what you already essentially knew.”
Buffy squeezed his hand tightly and bit her lip, he knew what she’d been trying to say, understood it completely and it brought down the wall of fear she constantly surrounded herself by, “I think I could love you too William.”
He took a deep breath, “So I have my crumb?”
“You have your crumb” she answered with a watery smile, happy that he couldn’t really look at her right now, his eyes on the road. The moment was hanging heavily in the air, it was almost suffocating until he said “Well, I want the whole bloody cookie” and they laughed, thankful that he had diffused the serious mood of the ride.
“Well, you gotta’ wait ‘til it’s done baking, but then you can eat delicious cookie Buffy”
She groaned immediately after saying it and put her face in her hands, “Thought that’s what I’ve been doing?” he said with a smirk.
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Author's Chapter Notes:
thanks for the support guys, im so happy i have some people enjoying this! special thanks to those who review, they mean the world!
Chapter End Notes:
so i posted my banner early, it was supposed to be the next chap but i liked it lol