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Author's Chapter Notes:
sorry it took so long, i moved out, have a shitload of health issues and just couldnt get enough energy to write a decent chap.
“Darkness will always have its appeal, simply because I can’t see myself”

Spike whistled as he read that, a small frown marring his face, did she really believe that? It was a home made banner hanging over her bed so he had to believe she at least considered it, and it broke his heart. What could happen to someone so young that was so bad she couldn’t face herself?

He made a small grunt and a big decision, there was no way in hell he was bedding her tonight, it would feel great, sure, but in the end he knew she would look at herself differently because of it and what kind of man would he be able to call himself after that?

A small noise had him turning around and when he did his breath caught in his throat. Wet, glistening, NAKED Buffy…he hated his decision immediately and couldn’t help blurting out “I can’t sleep with you”

Buffy’s eyebrow arched and she laughed, simply shrugging her shoulders and going to her dresser to pull out some clothes for bed.

“Are you mad?” he asked almost shyly.

“Should I be?” she asked turning to face him, “Or am I right in the assumption that you’re trying to get me to believe in happy endings by being my prince charming?”

He blushed at that and ran a shaky hand through his bleached hair, “M’not saying I’m a bloody prince charming, but I don’t have to be the male equivalent of the evil step-mum, no do I?”

She smiled and threw him a pair of sweat pants, “Are you just not fucking me, or are you leaving too?”

He shimmied out of his jeans and they dressed for bed, Buffy not missing his impressive body and before he could notice, she tucked the shirt she had been about to offer him back into the dresser.

“Ready for bed?” she asked with a fake yawn.

He leered at her, head tilted to the side and she couldn’t help but let out a tiny moan.

“I said I wasn’t going to sleep with you, never said I wasn’t going to make you scream my name.”

And just like that she was in his arms, her hands clawing at his exposed back eliciting small growls from him as he attacked her neck with a strange mix of fierce and gentle. Fierce bites, gentle licks to ease some of the pain that was bringing her so much pleasure.

The hands at her waist led her to her bed where she was gently but firmly pushed down to lie across the mattress. His lips found their way from her neck to her barely covered breasts and his hands grabbed her ass, pulling her into his obvious erection. She almost screamed at the contact, having missed these sensations for years.

“I almost forgot” she gasped out.

“Forgot what kitten?” he growled out from around the nipple he was currently lavishing.

“What this felt like…”

Then his eyes were level with hers, his hands pinning hers above the bed as he thrust gently,

“You have NEVER felt this Buffy, this is me and this is you, nobody else, no other memories should be floating around, we’re making memories, you and me.”

“Fuck yes, nobody else” she conceded with a moan, Spike’s almost feral attitude about these sensations driving her crazy.

“Again” he demanded, his body shifting lower so his mouth was at her clit, hands dragging the offending pants away.

“Nobody else”

At that his lips attacked her, sucking her clit into his mouth while two fingers plunged into her. Buffy writhed under his almost frenzied attack on her pussy, legs coming up to rest on his shoulders, spurring him on.

“You…taste..so..good” he managed to choke out between his ministrations, his own hips thrusting lightly into the mattress.

She opened her eyes and saw him staring up at her, all the while never stopping his pumping fingers and nipping mouth.

“You’re the first one to do this” she moaned and arched her back, her body slowly beginning to tense.

She saw his eyes close at that,

“So tight Buffy, almost a fucken’ virgin….thank you for giving me this..”

She could almost cry at the worship and awe in his eyes when he looked at her again.

Spike smiled into her pussy, feeling her muscles begin to clench and sucked her clit into his mouth roughly, adding another furious finger to pump into her and she came undone.
Her legs squeezed him almost unbearably, almost, and when her come hit his fingers he took them out and lapped at her instead, making her cry out and just when she thought she was finished, the fingers were back inside her and he bit down on her clit, hard and gentle yet again, a mix she was beginning to think only he could pull off, and there she went again. His free hand snuck to his cock, needing to stroke himself, needing to ease the painful erection he had but not wanting to remove his mouth from her delectable pussy, not wanting to stop those sounds he was dragging out of her almost savagely.

But Buffy had other ideas as she forced his mouth away from her and moved him so that it was him on his back. Grabbing his erection she began to pump him to a rhythm it seemed they could both hear and when his back arched off the bed she took him into her mouth and he came undone.

Mumbling almost incoherently he tangled his fingers into her hair, desperately trying to control himself but she would have none of it, only increasing her pace with every guttural moan she drew from him. Her eyes bored into his half closed ones, a small smile playing on the lips that were currently dead set on making him blow. She felt it when he tensed, felt it when he tried to pull away, heard him gasp out the warning but she wanted it to badly, needed to taste him too and so she continued and when her tiny hand came out to cup and lightly squeeze his balls she got what she wanted, stream after stream of it.

Spike didn’t even register when she came back up the bed to lie beside him but moments later, when he’d calmed down, he looked into her now almost shy eyes.


“Fuck Buffy, you’re incredible.”

She ducked her head at the compliment and his hand cupped her face, making her look at his again.

“I mean it kitten, fucken’ incredible…I’ve never been with someone like you. You’re eyes, your mouth, your sassy little comebacks…the way you taste”

He moaned at the memory and Buffy was astonished to look down and see him growing hard again.

“The things I’m gonna’ do to you Buffy…”

She shivered at the promise and smiled up at him.

“So it wasn’t bad?”

“Are you off your rocker?” He sat up and pulled her close to him so that she was nestled against his side while he played with her now tussled hair.

“Sweetest girl I’ve ever tasted. Most beautiful girl I’ve ever seen.”
He gasped when her hand circled his cock again, “Most insatiable woman ever.” He said with a small laugh then plunged a finger into her sopping pussy and added with a growl, “That doesn’t know when she’s playing with fire.”





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