Author's Chapter Notes:
I must say a massive thank you for dampersandspoons for betaing. Reviews are welcome and I hope you are enjoying.

In the words of Willow: A vague disclaimer is nobody's friend.

Therefore,

Disclaimer: Buffy. Spike. Paraphrased lines. Joss. Mutant Enemy.

Plot. Settings. Ideas. Me. Entertainment purposes. Copyright infringement. Unintended.
Chapter Four: Lap Cake

Cheesecake: the best way to get over public speaking. Talking in front of people had to be the worst thing in the world, bar studded caps. Everyone was mingling and I hadn’t seen Busboy, no–William. I thought we had connected while I spoke, prattled on about writery type things while speaking to him with my eyes. No, that’s just stupid, ridiculous stuff. I can’t speak with my eyes!

I sighed and picked at the cheesecake on the porcelain plate. Minutes passed and the full fork of cake hadn’t ventured near my mouth. I plopped it down and the tinkling of the steel against the china made me sigh, again. Stupid sighing.

Where the hell was William? I wanted to devour him instead of this delicious chocolate cheesecake. I wanted lick those muscles that danced beneath his clothes. I wanted to nip his shoulders and taste his pale skin. I wanted to look at his long dark eyelashes that fluttered when he blinked away those intense eyes. Stupid eyes.

I picked up the fork again, determined to let the chocolate produce endorphins that I wouldn’t be getting elsewhere tonight if he didn’t show up soon.

He chuckled, waking me from my reverie.

“I…gah…yum…I mean um…gah.”

I started staring again. I tried to shake out of it but I couldn’t. He was too gorgeous. My hand started shaking as he stalked forward. My brain capacity flew out of the window as that predator look soaked those stupid eyes. He reached my table, and laid his long fingers on the arm that became super glued to the table while my other arm shook uncontrollably in the air, the cheesecake drifting in front of my nose.

“’Ello, love.”

Plop!

The cheesecake dropped from my fork and straight into my lap.

“Oh my god! My dress!”

“Oh, love I’m sorry. Here, let me help you clean that up.”

He grabbed the napkins from the table and started to wipe the chocolate into my beautiful new dress. I couldn’t have cared less about the dress because all my mind could focus on was his hands on my body, making my underwear obsolete.

“No, stop it, you’re making it worse!” He stopped immediately. He was helping earnestly and I snapped. I felt guilty until I looked up into his smirking face.

He opened his mouth to say something but Angel walked up to the table. He looked down at William’s hands still holding the napkin in my lap. Redness stained our cheeks.

“Nice to see you two have met. Buffy, you need to greet the press in fifteen minutes.” Angel forced the words out of his mouth quickly before turning around and hurriedly walking away.

I looked back into the stupid eyes that darted down from my eyes, my blush, my cleavage, and to my lap. His pretty lips let out a pearl of laughter.

“What?”

He continued laughing.

“What? What? What’s so funny?”

“I made Anne Summers…dirty… and I tried to clean her up.” His voice was loaded with innuendo. I whacked away his hand from my groin area and told him I needed to, among other things, powder my nose.

****


She hightailed to the bathroom, clutching her purse above the stain. I watched her pert bum walk away, a smile covering my entire face. She had practically been drooling as I walked towards her. I could hear her heartbeat as my hand stayed naughtily in her lap while Angel appeared. Anne Summers, no Buffy, wanted me. That was more than obvious on the bus, but it hadn’t sunk in until the second before Angel had arrived. I could practically smell her arousal.

I chuckled and slunk back in the chair to wait for her return. I glanced over at the bathroom door, but when she hadn’t come out in ten minutes I went after her.

“Buffy?” I knocked on the door. “Are you alrigh’?”

I could hear her groan on the other side of the door.

“What do you think? My boss just saw you scrubbing his guest speaker’s crotch! I’m due to talk to the press in five minutes and my dress is stained.”

“Don’t worry about McAngel. He and I go way back to the mother country. Poncy bugger owes me £11, for one thing.”

“I’m the one who is going to have to live with the consequences of the crotch thing. Gah, stupid chocolate cheesecake that isn’t even brown.”

I opened the door and saw Buffy with her dressed bunched up around the top of her thighs, the stained part hanging under the running water in the basin.

“Stop that. I’ll fix it.”

“You’ve done enough. And this is the girl’s room.”

“Good, I know where to pick up the ladies then.”

She made the cutest disgruntled noise and pulled her dress down.

I looked at the dress a second time and gulped. My breath caught in my throat. I stepped closer to grab a handful of her dress and flicked out my Swiss Army knife from my back pocket.

“Where did that come from? Wait, on second thought, I don’t want to know.”

I made a move to cut the dress.

“What do you think you are doing?” I had noticed that the dress consisted of layers of fabrics. She looked down at the thin black chiffon and opened her mouth in an ‘o’ shape of understanding.

Thankfully the cheesecake hadn’t gone through the fabric and the hole wasn’t noticeable. She smiled shyly at my handiwork and thanked me.

Then she pecked my cheek.

If I wasn’t hard before…

My line of thought ended as I saw she had left the bathroom. I could hear the noise in the ballroom outside dwindle and slipped back into the room. She stood in front of the podium, a bunch of flowers casually hiding the bottom half of her dress as she had photo after photo taken for the press junkies. A dazzling smile that now hung on my bedroom wall greeted each reporter as they fired questions and the cameras flashed. I wanted to watch her all night but I couldn’t. The parents cut Ripper and I off during our voyage to the savages and I had to start at my lousy part time job in half an hour. I found her redheaded friend in the crowd watching the press vultures and sidled over to her.

“Hey Red, I was wondering if you could pass this on to Buffy.”

I handed her my place setting card that I’d scribbled on my number and intended to give to Buffy before she went and caked herself.

She smiled up at me and said ‘sure thing’ before I slipped back into the crowd and headed for the door.

****


I was grateful to see Willow tap her watch.

“Last question please.”

I passed the question over to the head of the Writer’s Festival and left the podium area.

“Uh, thank god that is over. I swear, if Tara makes me do one more of these stupid–,”

Willow told me flatly, “You have several early morning breakfast radio shows to attend tomorrow.” I couldn’t help but groan. Willow’s evil grin threatened to swallow her face. She was hiding something, I could tell. “You have to go to every single one otherwise I won’t give you your present.”

My face lit up at the sound of the word ‘present’. I nodded eagerly and she handed over a small card that said ‘William’. I read aloud the note that accompanied his number.

“Give me a bell. You know you want to. What the hell does ‘give me a bell mean’?”

“I think its sexy British for ‘give him a call’.”

Just before we could move to leave, Angel and a similarly built doofus stood in front of me.

“So, you and William, huh?”

“So, you and…who is this?”

“This is Riley Finn, Vice President of the Lesbian Gay Bisexual and Transgender Writers’ Society. There’s something you should know about William. He’s bad news.”

“Yeah, I kinda got a similar vibe off him,” Riley said, like it was any of his business.

“I kinda got a vibe that you’re like a moron. Angel, if you need to discuss my contract, you know where to call me. Good night,” I said icily.

Willow giggled as I shoved my chin in the air and marched out on her arm. Every time she had seen Ice-Queen Buffy reject someone, she couldn’t help but laugh.

“Do you feel like ICE cream? Because I know I do.” She giggled and we made out way to the car. As she started the ignition, William slipped into my mind and now all I felt like doing was running home to the phone.





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