Author's Chapter Notes:
Thanks to my brilliant beta dampersandspoons and thank you to everyone who is reading! I hope you are enjoying my story and are laughing at the things that have happened because I know I'm laughing at the events to come. I can't wait to write more!

disclaimer: joss owns the characters cause he's cool. i just play with them and put them into weird situations because i'm pretty cool too, but i only do it for entertaining people and myself so im sorry if i stepped on peoples toeses :D
Chapter Seven: Late Favours

What the hell did that mean? Order what from Zanzibar?

The bint was insane. Hell, I knew that already from her books but, who really puts those words in a sentence let alone scream out when they’re coming all over my fingers and in my mouth? Oh god, she tasted so good.

I stood, letting my wet fingers trace around my lips before I copied her earlier actions and slid them into my mouth.

But she wasn’t watching. I didn’t care; I licked her off my fingers until all I could taste was—

A strawberry lollypop? She stuck a strawberry lollypop into my chops.

“Here, um, so you know, you don’t smell like…let’s just say, we were discussing lyrics, okay?”

Lyrics? I’d go along with anything she wanted except that she was refusing to take my outstretched hand.

“What? Am I just kinda in your apartment or should I get the hell out?”

“What? No, I mean. I just thought, maybe we could cool it.”

“Cool it? You’ve giving me the cold shoulder after I just—,”

“Hey, give me a chance to find out who wants to see me. Then we can, do the talking and stuff.”

I didn’t know what to feel, or think. Yes I did, I was bloody fuming. Did the bint just want me to be her sex bunny? Get in the room for a quick ’gasm and then cold shoulder me for the rest of the evening? I didn’t know whether or not to find Ripper, and sod off or hang around her like a whiny stalker-boy.

I followed her out of her room, her clothing now back in place, and I smoothed my hair from where she messed it up with her friggin’ clingin’ fingers. Before we walked out of her little hallway she used a glare only her pretty lil’ face could make look so pointed and menacing.

Lil’ bit had a big smile on her face when Buffy walked around her friends, whose smirks and smiles were haphazardly hid behind their hands. Angel had left to my delight and Buffy was animatedly talking to her sister. I could hear the words ‘hot monkey sex’ and ‘beach bungalow is empty’ in quick succession from the kid’s mouth before Buffy covered it with her hand.

I followed her with my eyes as she walked around the room, blushing as her friends asked her questions that she ignored as she seemed to be looking for someone. I stared at my black boots as if they were as meaningful as Proust when she looked my way. If she was looking for me, she could get stuffed. I’m not going to be her sex slave.

Who am I kidding? If I could, that would be my occupation for the rest of my life.

My eyes quickly found her again and she seemed to be getting a little frantic. I couldn’t act indifferent anymore as she became more flustered, almost yelling at her sis. God, she even looked gorgeous when she was furious. But I’m glad that glare wasn’t directed towards me anymore.

****


“Where the hell would she have gone? There is no way our mother would have left you with a bunch of drunken 25 year olds!” God, Dawn could annoy me at the best of times and right now it was at the worst. I should be glowing in aftermath with non-embarrassing words.

“You aren’t 25!” My teeth were grinding and my jaw was twitching. I was about to burst.

“Shut up, it’s a median number.”

“Whatever. She only came tonight because you haven’t been to see her in over a month. Did you try the bathroom?” I looked away so she wouldn’t see my sheepishness. I couldn’t look at William, Spike, Busboy, what ever the hell I would decide to call him that didn’t include the word Zanzibar. I wasn’t sure how I was feeling about it. ‘It’ being the intense need to jump him every second of the bloody day. Bloody? I’d hardly been around him and I was already picking up on his speech patterns. All day, I thought about the pain in my blistered feet or my headache from endless Angel requests just to get my mind off the flame that itched beneath my skin in between my thighs. So I acted forward when he appeared at my door and now…what was he thinking? What was I thinking? I was acting on impulse. Do I have feelings for him?

Dawn poked me hard in the arm, shaking me away from my thoughts. I just looked at her, perplexed. She glared at me, identical to the one I had practiced in front of the mirror during my teens. She wanted an answer.

“The bathroom door was closed.”

“For an award winning novelist, you’re really dumb.”

“Hey, the door being closed normally means smelliness.” I followed the little brat as she angrily stalked towards my shared bathroom with Faith. I could hear grunts from the other side of the door.

“See, imminent smelliness!”

“Mom, are you in there?”

I heard a hissed ‘yes’ and scrunched up my nose in fear of the incoming odour.

“Geez, what did you eat?”

Dawn, without any diplomacy, opens the door to my disgust, which very quickly quadrupled. No, I was way beyond disgusted, I was scarred.

There was Mom bending over my bathtub, her skirt bunched up at her waist and a guy who looked like he’d stolen William’s clothes and shoved a pack of cigarettes in his rolled up sleeve with his pants around his ankles, ploughing into my mother.

Dawn and I squealed in unison.

“MOM!”

Willspike came running, his face a mask of worry when I turned to see him. His mask quickly turned to horror.

“RIPPER!”

Mom let out a loud moan and twisted around to probably smother the little creep inside of her with kisses but, instead, gasped when saw us in the open doorway.

“Sorry, love, thought I locked it.” The guy William called Ripper said to Mom, her face was identical to William’s, only with a deep blush across her cheeks – the ones on her face.

“Mom. Do not move. Dawn, shut up.” She hadn’t stopped squealing. Then all I could do was gulp air down my throat. Ripper went to pull out, so I pulled the bathroom door shut only to hear a thud behind me. William was on the floor, unconscious.

****


I woke up with a start when water splashed down on my face.

“I hope that ain’t from the bathtub.” I mumbled and dimly heard Ripper chuckle.

“Spike, are you okay?” The lil’ bit was hovering over my face.

“Yeah, Nibblet. What happened?”

“You fainted, old mate!”

I shot a poison look at Ripper.

“You. Don’t speak. I saw enough of you tonight for the rest of our lives. And who’s the chit?”

I was too fuzzy to realise I had contradicted myself. Ripper couldn’t answer because Buffy came to join in the ‘hover over Spike’ game. Dawn, seeing I was fine, walked away muttering ‘eww, eww, eww’ under her breath.

“Can you not do that, love? I’m so dizzy there are six of you.” Buffy giggled and then grasped my hand. My body flared at her touch, the haze subsiding as I looked into her eyes.

A throat cleared.

The woman Ripper was giving what-for looked over Buffy’s shoulder.

“Is this young man alright?”

“Yeah, Spike’s fine. I just kinda broke our promise that he’d never have to see my stones again.”

“Shut it, Rupert.” I growled.

“I know the origin of Ripper’s nickname,” the blush that stained the older woman’s cheeks deepened. “But what does Spike mean?”

“Well, this lass I knew liked…situations…she was a bit, off with the birds, and she liked Chaucer role playing…let’s just say the Miller’s Tale was her particular favourite.” Buffy winced. But not before placing a hand on my chest to stop me from continuing.

“Spike, this is my mother, Joyce.” That gorgeous glare was on her face again. God, it made me hot. I had to try to surreptitiously bring my duster across my groin.

Surreptitiously didn’t work. Ripper chuckled again.

Her hand burned into mine. It wasn’t lust. Her eyes were covered with concern. Couldn’t be just lust. If it was just lust, why was I feeling strong enough to take on my past just ’cause she’s holding me?

“Spike’s my…friend.” As soon as she said those words I angrily shook my head away from those thoughts. The silly thoughts of more-than-lust were probably caused by the haziness of concussion. She grabbed my other hand to pull off the floor.

“Let’s get you into my bedroom.”

Oh so that was it. I really was just her fuck buddy. I tried to push her off me.

I grabbed Ripper by the jacket and began to stagger towards the front door.

“Where are you going?”

I didn’t hear the hurt in her voice. The party noises were creeping through my foggy brain and her melodious words hardly registered.

“Away from this freak show.” I couldn’t look at her. I didn’t know what I was saying.

“But, I was just trying to help.” She said barely above a whisper.

“Don’t do me any favours, love.”





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