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Banner by Alissa.


Author's Chapter Notes:
Thanks, as always to DampersnSpoons for the beta-work. *huggles*

Thanks also to anyone who is planning to leave me a review. You're cool!
Oxford, England 2008

Buffy cried herself to sleep. It didn’t take long; she was exhausted.

She woke up with the unnatural calm that comes from being completely drained emotionally. She blinked hard several times. Her eyes stung, but she couldn’t cry again.

She felt like she had nothing left inside her.

More than almost anything she wanted to run to her best friend. She wanted him to tell her that everything would be all right. He was clever, he’d figure something out. She wanted him to pull her into his arms for a big hug and say that of course they would always be friends.

But she couldn’t. Her best friend was the one who had hurt her. More so, she had hurt him. She hadn’t wanted to. Buffy would never have chosen to hurt him. She’d once read that the worse kind of person was the kind who was careless with the hearts and feelings of others. She had never thought that she could be that kind of person. How, she wondered, could she have failed to see his feelings for so long? She thought that she must be a particularly horrible person if she were so self-involved that she hadn’t really even known her best friend.

The tears that she had thought she’d run out of returned with a vengeance.

Oxford, England 2008

William moaned loudly as he woke up. Lifting his head from the bed, he fought off a heavy wave of nausea. Everything hurt. He felt like he’d been trampled by elephants. He groaned and reached for his throbbing head and struggled to remember the previous evening.
He was just remembering the part where he decided to go to the pub, when a voice interrupted his misery.

“Well, I expect you’re feeling like a pile of steaming dung this morn,” Liam commented cheerily as he walked towards the bed.

William turned and blinked one red eye at him. “When did you get here?”

Liam grinned. He couldn’t help it. Perfect little William Pratt, who almost never had more than two beers before he headed home to get more work done, had one royal hangover. It was just too funny. “Oh, I got here ‘bout the same time as you seein’ as I’m the one who toted your sorry arse home last night.”

William was sure that he should feel grateful. He didn’t. He groaned again. “Yeah. Job done. Go home.” He dropped back down on the mattress with a whimper.

Liam laughed. “Sorry lover,” he teased, “my best mate services have only just begun. We need to get you sobered up.” He placed a mug and bottle of Tylenol on the bedside table. “Start with this and then get in the shower. I’m making breakfast.”

Liam was out of the room before his words cleared the fog in William’s brain.

“You’re what?”

It took him three tries but William got out of bed and swallowed three pills with a mouthful of surprisingly good coffee. He stumbled out of his bedroom towards his kitchen. He gripped the top of a chair and watched in horror-filled surprise as Liam moved expertly about preparing what appeared to be the largest breakfast in the history of England. He groaned again. Food smells were not good.

“What are you doing?” He demanded in a weak voice.

“Told you, mate. A sound breakfast is just what you need before you go talk to the girl.” He tossed William a look over his shoulder. “Well, that and a shower.”

A reminder of how much he’d screwed things up with Buffy was not what William needed. He gripped the chair tightly to prevent from falling. “No.”

“No, what?”

“I can’t…I’m not going to go talk to her. I don’t…Oh, God! I don’t know where she is, she could be—”

“The girl’s fine. I told you last night. She’s over at Fred and Wesley’s place and probably feeling just as bad as you this morning.”

William looked confused for a moment. “She was drinking?”

Liam laughed again, making William close his eyes and scowl.

“Nah, the lass is a fair bit smarter than you. She stuck to tea last night.”

William let himself feel a moment of relief. Buffy was safe. She might never talk to him again, but she was safe with Fred and Wes. “I’m not eating breakfast.” He said grumpily.

“Sure you will. It’ll help with the hangover to get some nosh into you.”

“I’ll puke.”

Liam shook his head. “Doubt you’ve got much left in you after last night.” He ignored William’s groan. “Go. Take a shower first.”

William turned away. “I’m going back to bed. Go home.”

Liam rolled his eyes. “Get in the shower, mate. Else I’ll put you there myself.”

He froze. William didn’t know why he was helping, but he knew Liam well enough to know that though he was laid back, once he’d made up his mind, there was no stopping him. William was quite certain that the larger man would not hesitate to wrestle him into the shower. It was an additional humiliation that he didn’t need. Grumbling to himself, he headed towards the bathroom. With any luck, he thought, Liam would lose interest and go home before he got out.

Liam did not lose interest. When William finally emerged from the bathroom he found that Liam had set breakfast on the table. William shook his head slowly and went to the bedroom to get dressed. He found Liam pulling clothes from his closet. He knit his brow and scowled as he watched the pile of rejected items on the floor grow.

“What are you doing now?”

Liam held up a shirt triumphantly and grinned. “I have it on good authority that the ladies like it when you wear this shirt.”

William didn’t know where to start. The whole morning was starting to feel like an episode of the “Twilight Zone”. He sighed and looked at the shirt Liam had chosen. It wasn’t anything special, just a blue poplin button up. He often wore it with khakis to work.

“What’s so special about that shirt?”

Liam shrugged. “The color, I think. How about you ask your girl?” He handed the clothes over and left the room.

William used his damp towel to rub his hair dry and quickly pulled on jeans and the clothes Liam had handed him. He was tempted to put on something else. It irritated him to let Liam boss him about, but he couldn’t really work up the motivation to pull open his drawer or walk over to the closet to find something. He joined Liam at the table a moment later.

“She’s not my girl.”

Liam gave him a considering look. “You love her.” It wasn’t a question.

William nodded. “Yeah.” He toyed with his eggs miserably. “She probably hates me.”

“She was worried about you. Last night, when I found her, she wanted me to look after you.”

William looked up at him, startled.

Liam gave him a grin. “Don’t get me wrong, mate. The girl is pissed, but she doesn’t hate you.”

“What am I going to do?”

“Talk to her. Seems to me you should have done a bit more of that before, though I can’t really blame you for bein’ a tad overeager. She’s plenty pretty enough to make a man think with his second brain.”

William stared at his friend for several seconds. “Why are you doing this? I figured you’d be telling me I should be grateful that she wasn’t clingy or some such.”

Liam chuckled. “You’re not me. Just not cut out for the bachelorhood. Too soft. Besides, you love her.” At William’s skeptical look, he added “I figure it’s about time for you get a little happiness, yeah?”

Oxford, England 2008

Buffy lifted her hand to knock and then swiftly pulled it back down. She took a deep breath. She had to talk to William. She needed to make sure that he was all right, tell him that she was sorry, and tell him that she was hurt. Hardest of all, she needed to say those things without crumbling into a pile of sobbing girl or saying something that only made them both hurt more. She smoothed down the shirt that Fred had lent her and, with a final rallying breath, she knocked.

She was only a little surprised to see Liam answer the door. She had, after all, made him promise that he would check in on William. She gave him a tentative smile and was relieved when he returned it. She couldn’t help worrying that once he’d spoken with William he’d hate her for hurting his friend.

“There you are.” Liam pulled her into a quick bear hug and smacked a noisy kiss on her cheek. “Go easy on the lad,” he whispered, “he’s sorry, he’s a good boy and he loves you.”

Buffy blinked back tears as she pulled away, but she gave him a little nod. She didn’t disagree with anything he’d said but she didn’t think there was any way to clear up the hurt they were both feeling.

Buffy looked over towards William. “Hey.”

He gave her a small smile. “Hi.” He dropped his eyes to the floor.

Liam looked back and forth at them and nodded. “All right then, I was just heading out. You two have a nice visit.” He grinned and left, certain that all would be well soon.

William started talking as soon as the door shut. “I’m so sorry, pet. I didn’t mean—”

“Wait.” Buffy held up her hands. “Let me start here, okay?”

He looked pained, but he nodded in agreement.

“I know that you didn’t mean to hurt me. I get that. It’s my fault too. But Will, I didn’t know how you felt. You never…you never said anything and I’ve barely seen you these last couple of years and…maybe I’m blind, but I didn’t know. And when I said that I wouldn’t have slept with you if I’d known, I meant that I wouldn’t have risked hurting you. I wouldn’t have. You were my best friend.” A couple of tears trailed down her cheeks, but she plowed on. “You said that we’d still be friends and I believed you. Maybe that was stupid but I-I guess I was stupid, but I didn’t mean to hurt you. You need to know that.”

William nodded. “I do, love. I know. It was my fault. All of it.”

She shook her head firmly. “Not all of it. It took both of us to screw up this badly.” She gave him a wry smile.

“But it doesn’t have to…just give me a chance here. I know I’m not who you…I’m not the type you thought you’d be with, but I could make you happy. I’d do anything to—”

Buffy held up her hands. “Please, Will. There’s nothing wrong with you. You’re smart and funny and…” She sighed. “You’re…gorgeous. It’s not you. Will, it’s me.”

He shook his head. “No. Pet, I know I screwed up, but we’re perfect together. You’re the only girl I’ve ever loved. I’ve always loved you. You’re the one, Buffy. You’re the only one.”

Her voice wavered as her crying grew stronger. “I can’t be,” she whispered painfully.

He stalked towards her. “You are. You have to feel it too.” He brushed his hand across her cheek and stepped close to her body. He trembled. “We fit. Buffy, we fit together.”

“Will—”

“Tell me felt it too. You can’t say that you didn’t feel it, the way your body reacts to my touch. You’re my girl, Buffy.” He spoke fervently. “Just give me a chance.”

She looked up at him with sad eyes. “I can’t. I’m just not ready for this.”

His eyes widened. “The se-we don’t need to sleep together. I don’t want to push you. I never meant to push you do anything that—”

“You didn’t. That’s not what I meant. I’m not ready to be what you’re looking for. You’ve got it all figured out. You know who you are and what you want. You’ve got the ring. William, that’s…I’m, I’m still basking in the glow of no longer having to remember to wash my P.E. uniform. I’m going to Sunnydale U because I couldn’t make up my mind and pick a school and so I ran out of time. I don’t even know what I’m going to study.” She shook her head. “I’m not ready to get married.” She started to move back, but he held tight.

“We don’t need to get married tomorrow. Of course you’re going to go to school and I know we have things we need to work out. I’m not…you don’t have to wear the ring, just let me take you out. Just a date- no pressure.” He looked hopeful.

She knew that he didn’t understand. No pressure was impossible. You couldn’t go on a date with the person you loved most without any pressure. You couldn’t go on a date with a man who already had a wedding ring for you with no pressure. She gave him a quick hug and pulled away. “I can’t, Will. I changed my flight. Fred’s going to bring me to the airport this afternoon. I need to get my stuff packed.”

William felt like she’d punched him. He couldn’t even breathe. He shook his head. “You’re leaving. Just like that. You still have four days.”

He stepped towards her but she moved back.

“I think its best.”

He stared at her in shock.

“I’m sorry. I do love you, not how you…” Her shoulders slumped. “I love you.” Not knowing what else to say, Buffy went to pack up her things.





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