Sunnydale, California, January 2009
William heard his office door open and looked up in surprise. The semester had only just begun so he wasn’t expecting any students to drop by seeking help yet and he knew that the department head had already gone home for the afternoon. He’d anticipated several hours of solitude as he got his plans set for the semester. His eyes widened when he saw her. “Buffy?”
He stood up quickly but didn’t walk towards her. His hands fiddled with the edge of his desk. He hadn’t seen her since Christmas. It had only been a week really, but it felt longer. “Did you…” He looked at her quizzically, not knowing what he wanted to ask. Why was she there? Did she need something? Had she had a good time with her boyfriend on New Year’s Eve? Had she forgiven him yet? Could she ever love him? He tilted his head to the side and waited silently.
Buffy gave him a tentative smile. He didn’t look very happy to see her, but he didn’t look unhappy either. He looked surprised, she decided, and wished he could give her a less ambiguous sign. “I picked a major. I mean I think I have. I went to see my advisor and she thinks it’s a good fit and I did really well in my education class and I’ve been working with this little boy. He’s so sweet and I think that’s it.” She saw the increased confusion on his face and realized that she was rambling. “I want to teach and I’m thinking about special education. Elementary Special Needs.”
William blinked. Twice. She’d come to talk to him about school. “I…”
“I know it sounds crazy. I mean, I was never really into school, you know that, and now I want to be a teacher, but…”
He shook his head and laughed softly. “It doesn’t sound crazy at all; it sounds perfect.” And it did, he realized, he’d never thought about it, but it was obvious now that she’d said it. She’d always had a soft spot for quirky kids and she’d be bored sick at a desk job; he had no trouble imagining her working with kids and he knew that her difficulty with school had never been an intelligence issue. “You’re mother must be thrilled.”
Buffy blushed and shrugged. “I haven’t told her. I just—I’ve been thinking about it for awhile, but I really just decided this afternoon, so you’re the first person I--I even changed one of my classes.” She held up her add-drop slip. “I mean I’ll have missed the first meeting which is probably asking for disaster but…”
William chuckled and walked towards her. “You’ll do fine. Better than. I’m certain.” He reached out to pull her in for a quick and tentative hug. “You will make a brilliant teacher. You’re kind and clever and you certainly had a lot of practice putting up with me.”
Buffy exhaled in relief. “You really think so?”
He nodded. “I’m certain.”
Buffy laughed. “Good. I mean, I’m certain too.” She lifted up her chin and jokingly adopted a very confident pose. She had been giving her future career a lot of thought. It was important to have a plan, to know what she wanted. But she’d realized something else that was even more important. It didn’t matter. She’d thought that not knowing what she wanted to be when she “grew up” meant that she couldn’t be sure that wanted to be with Will. It had been her first thought when he’d pulled out the ring. She’d panicked. All she’d been able to think was that she didn’t even know what she wanted to be. She realized now that that was ridiculous. All she really needed to know was that she wanted to be with him. She did.
He laughed with her as his head reeled. She had come to tell him first! He knew that it was probably just because he was close, but still, he thought, she could have called her mom or went to find Willow or her new boyfriend. The thought of Buffy’s new man was deflating, but still he thought, she’d come to see him. He couldn’t help but feel a little hopeful. “So…did you have a nice New Year’s Eve?”
Buffy shrugged. “It was fun, I guess. I mean no one likes to feel all third wheely.”
William nodded. “Willow.”
“Yeah, I mean they’re great and I’m really happy for them, but hanging with Willow and Oz can be a little…” She trailed off and shrugged.
William’s jaw dropped. “Willow’s dating Oz?”
She nodded. “Yup.” She grinned. “Odd couple, right? Only they really aren’t. I know Oz seems a little wild with the hair and the band, but he is a total sweetheart and he’s actually really smart like Willow, so they can have their deep philosophy chats.”
“Oh.”
“You should have come.” She added softly.
William nodded. “Yeah, I should have. I spent most of the evening feeling too pathetic about working on New Year’s Eve to actually get any work done.”
Buffy smiled at his self-deprecating head shake. “Maybe another time?” She shook as she said the words and worried that she was pushing too hard. He seemed to be warming, but she was still far less than sure that he actually wanted to spend time with her.
William nodded and tried to keep too much eagerness from showing in his eyes He was working himself up the courage to ask when that next time might be when her phone rang. The chipper tune startled them both and they laughed nervously as Buffy dug around in her bag and pulled it out.
“Hey Willow…ohmygod-no, I totally forgot. I’m sorry, I’ll be right there. We’ll make it.” She glanced at the time on William’s clock and grimaced. “I’ll run.” She hung up and gave William an apologetic smile. “I was hoping to hear about your first few days, but I promised Willow I’d go see this movie with her two weeks ago and it starts in like twenty minutes…”
“Another time.” William smiled as Buffy nodded, grinned and then literally ran out of his office.
Sunnydale, California January 2009
Buffy took a deep breath. It was no big deal. She was just going to invite him to a picnic. Picnic said friendly and maybe a little more, but only if you were looking for more. She smoothed the skirt of her dress and stepped into the doorway of William’s office. She smiled. He was facing away, looking out the window while talking on the phone. It gave her a minute to enjoy being near him without his knowing it or seeing her dippy grin. She took that quick minute and then stepped back from the door to wait for him to finish his conversation.
She heard William chuckle deeply. “Yes, love. I promise to pick up my tux before the stag night.”
Buffy frowned and tried to figure out why William needed to pick up a tux and what the hell a stag night was. She knew that she shouldn’t be listening, but she couldn’t help overhearing him, he wasn’t exactly being quiet. Of course, she reminded herself guiltily, he doesn’t know that someone is standing outside his office listening either.
“I’ll be at the church on-time. Yes….Wild horses couldn’t hold me back.” He laughed again. “you’ll look lovely…no…prettiest bride in all the country…yes, sexy too…obviously…you too, love. I’ll see you soon.”
Buffy muffled her gasp with her own hand as she realized why William needed a tux; he was getting married. She heard him place the phone back on his desk and ran.
William sighed as he pulled in to the driveway at Buffy’s childhood home. Even knowing that she no longer really lived there didn’t make it any easier to go in. There were simply too many memories for him to enter and remain unscathed. There was no helping it though. He’d told Joyce that he’d stop by while she was out of town. He was going to pull in the mail and water the plants. It wasn’t a big deal, it would take ten minutes and it was far easier for him to do than it would be for Buffy, who lived across town and didn’t drive. He just had to suck it up. He got out of the car and marched himself over to the kitchen-side door.
It was unlocked. He frowned and opened it slowly. “Hello,” he called out carefully as he stepped in. There was no car in the drive, but it was unusual for Joyce to forget to lock the doors.
He gave the kitchen a quick glance as he walked towards the living room. Nothing seemed to be out of place. He was about to call out again when he heard the crying.
He walked quickly toward the sound. “Buffy?” He was shocked to find her curled up in a ball on the couch sobbing. She looked equally shocked to see him. “Love, what’s wrong.”
Her tear-filled eyes widened and she shook her head. “I—I can’t. What are you doing here?”
William sighed as he sat down beside her and fought the urge to simply pull her on to his lap. “Please, pet. I know we’re not—I know we haven’t been as—close, but you must know I’d do anything for you. Tell me what’s wrong and let’s see if I can help, yeah?” He placed a single tentative hand on her shoulder.
Buffy’s head spun. She couldn’t believe that he was sitting in front of her. She had no idea what to say. It was all her fault; she’d waited too long and now she’d lost him. Seeing him sitting there, his face full of concern, only made it all more real to her. Her eyes dropped to his mouth and she realized that she’d never get to kiss him again. Her stomach churned and without even making the conscious decision to do so, she clasped her hands around his face and dragged his lips to hers.
She poured herself into the kiss. Every word she should have said, every moment that she knew they now would never get to share, the life that she had given up before she’d even realized she needed it; she thought about it all and kissed him with a near frantic desperation.
William was almost knocked down when she launched herself at him. He quickly grasped her waist as he tried to steady both of their positions on the couch. He was nearly too surprised to kiss back, nearly too stunned by the taste of her and the feel of her in his arms to even wonder what it meant. Then, as quickly as she’d started it, Buffy ended it and William was left dazed and breathless.
She pulled herself off of him and with a quick shake of her head and a sobbing “I’m sorry. I’m so--” She turned and ran up the stairs to her old room.
“Sorry?” William shook his head and tried to clear the fog. He couldn’t believe that he’d heard her right; she was sorry? “Bollocks!” His temper drove him up the stairs after her. He quickly shot out his hand to stop her from closing her door.
She looked up at him with wide eyes and he struggled to keep his voice calm. “What. The hell. Was that?”
“I—I—”
He shook his head. His heart raced. “You kissed me! And now you’re sorry?” He trembled with the effort to keep his emotions in check. Why was she sorry? Why had she kissed him if she didn’t want to? Why, he asked himself, had she kissed the bloody hell out of him if she didn’t want to?
She’d hurt him, again. Buffy couldn’t believe she’d done it and she knew that she’d never be able to forgive herself. Her eyes watered as she saw the pain on his face and the anger flashing in his eyes. But she was angry too; he’d kissed her back and she wasn’t the one about to promise to love someone else above all others. She held up her chin. “You—you kissed me back!”
“You know how I feel about you.” His jaw clenched.
“ And I—I know you’re getting married.”
William couldn’t have been more shocked if she’d called him an astronaut. “I’m what?”
“Getting married! I heard you. I went by your office and I heard you on the phone. I didn’t mean to—I was just going to wait outside until you got off and then see—see if you wanted to—I was going to ask you to--” She couldn’t finish. She brought her hand up to cover her mouth and tried desperately to hold back the tears until he left. Surely, she thought, he’ll leave in a second and let me wallow in my misery alone.
William stared at her, mouth open in surprise, for several seconds. “Getting—I’m getting—” His face broke into a big grin and he laughed. “You heard—” Once he started, he couldn’t stop. He laughed until his stomach hurt and there were tears in his eyes.
Buffy stared at him bewilderedly. “Will!”
Brushing aside the tears, he shook his head. “I’m not getting married, love.”
“But I heard you, on the phone, I heard—”
“Liam. I’m his best mate—gonna stand up with him. Liam’s getting married.”
Buffy’s eyes grew wide as a small spark of hope fluttered around in her stomach. “Liam?” She arched an eyebrow in skepticism. “Liam’s getting—” She gasped. “The girl—the waitress from the pub—it’s her isn’t it?”
He nodded and grinned. “How did you…”
“There was just something—I mean she was clearly trying too hard to prove that she wasn’t interested and the way he would watch her.” She shrugged before growing quiet and biting her lip. “So you’re not…” She twisted her hands together and looked at the floor between them. She wanted to throw herself in his arms. She wanted to kiss him and rip off his clothes and beg him to never be more than five feet away from her for the rest of their lives. She couldn’t. Shock and desperation had pushed her to kiss him moments earlier, but the terror of possible rejection had crept back in. He’d kissed her back, she was sure of it and she held fast to that kernel of hope.
William shook his head slowly before stepping towards her. He reached out and pulled her hand up between their faces. “Not until there’s a ring on this hand.”
Buffy stared at her hand. “You’re waiting.” She whispered the realization as much to herself as to him. She was too amazed to simply feel happy. She thought that she might cry, but didn’t really want to be the kind of girl that cried when she was happy.
“I am.” He answered just as quietly before reaching down to tilt her chin up so that she’d have to meet his gaze. “You were coming to see me.” He knew that the kiss could have been a panic moment; her planning to visit him seemed more promising. His heart was in his throat, but he had to find out. William let his glance travel with a slow deliberateness over her body, smiling as she trembled under his scrutiny. He knew that he could make her want him; that really wasn’t the question. He needed to know if she was ready to want him. He paused in consideration of the simple grey halter dress she was wearing and smirked. It really wasn’t friendly visit attire. “You were coming to see me in this dress?”
“I—” She looked down at her now slightly wrinkled but otherwise nice dress and frowned. “What’s wrong with my dress?”
He gave a deep throaty chuckle. “Oh, kitten, there’s nothing wrong with this dress.” He inched closer, brushed his hand up the bare skin on her back and watched as she shivered. “In fact, this might be the very best dress I’ve ever seen and you wore it…” He brought his hand to her waist and slid it up her towards her collarbone, swallowing hard as his thumb grazed the soft side of her breast. He froze and looked her in the eye. “No bra?” His voice was hoarse. “So the plan was to drive me crazy then, yeah?”
Buffy blushed. “I just—I wanted to look nice.”
“For me?”
She nodded and, in an effort to steady herself against the tremors running through her body at his touch, brought her hand up to clasp his arm.
William gripped her waist and lifted her up to sit on the dresser. He stepped between her knees and brought his lips close to her ear. “You wanted to ask me something? That’s why you came by?”
His hot breath against her neck made her whimper. “Will.”
“Did you need help with a paper, maybe?”
“No. Will—”
“Or maybe some math tutoring? Did you need a spotter for a new trampoline record?”
“Will!” She giggled then sniffled.
“What were you going to ask me, pet?”
Buffy groaned. “A picnic.” She blurted out before he could do anything else that would make it impossible for her to speak. “I just wanted to invite you on a picnic.”
William laughed softly. “A picnic.”
She nodded.
“I do enjoy a good picnic. Was it going to be a...picnic…date?”
“No. I mean—I was just going to see if you wanted to come on a picnic. I wasn’t going to call it a date. I just--” She brought her hand up to her mouth as a sob wrenched her body. “I thought that—I thought that I’d lost you.”
He frowned. His head tilted to side and he studied her. “Was it a good-bye kiss then?”
“What! No. I mean…” With a small groan of frustration, she reached out and pulled his mouth to hers.
William quickly stepped closer, deepening the kiss and moaning as her legs came to wrap around his waist. After a moment he pulled back and grinned. “Does that mean you want the picnic to be a date after all?” He reached up to tuck a stray her hair behind her ear and then wiped a tear from her cheek.
Buffy sniffled. “You’re teasing me.” Her lip jutted out in a pout.
He laughed. “I’m teasing you?” His eyebrows arched high across his forehead as he pointedly fingered the halter-strap of her dress.
“Wasn’t trying to tease you.” She blushed again.
“Oh. So, it was an offer.” He grinned and leaned close. “In that case...” He kissed the skin just below her earlobe. “I just need to know the terms of the offer.”
She giggled and pushed him away. “Will, can you be serious for a minute?”
His stomach churned. “I am serious, Buffy. Whatever you’re offering—I accept. You have to know that by now. ” He shrugged. “I’ll do anything for you. You want a friend, a lover…” He shook his head. “A tutor—you know you’ve got it. Just—please, pet—tell me what you want.”
Buffy’s lip quivered. “You. I just want you. I just—I want to be your girl.”
William couldn’t hold back his grin as he pulled her into a tight hug. “You already are my girl, Buffy. You’ve always been my girl. You just forgot for a bit, yeah?” He cupped her face in his hands and ducked close for a hard, possessive kiss.
Buffy clung to William’s shoulders tightly, moaning when she felt him press his body tightly against hers. It wasn’t possible to be close enough. She shivered though it felt like her skin was on fire. She pulled away and spoke in breathless pants. “God, Will. I missed you so much.”
“Missed this?” He pressed himself against her meaningfully.
She whimpered but shook her head. “No—not just—I missed you. All of you.”
“Missed you too, love—wanted to tell you all about my plans and how strange it was being home—God, Buffy, It didn’t even feel like home.” He buried his face against her neck and inhaled. She smelled like oranges and he wondered if she was using a new kind of soap. He wondered about everything he’d missed. “Smell so good.”
She shuddered as he ran his hands up her back and pulled at the front of his shirt. “Off.”
He chuckled at her one-word command but complied, quickly removing his jacket and shirt and tossing them on a nearby chair.
Buffy ran her hands over his chest, slowly relearning his shape and feel. She knew from the way his muscles trembled beneath her fingertips and from the sounds of his quick inhale that he was enjoying her touch, but she couldn’t drag her eyes away to watch his expression.
Enjoying the look of awe on her face, William held himself still until she started to trace her fingers along his belt buckle. “Hey.” He took her hands in his. “Are you sure about this? We don’t have to—”
“I want to be with you, William. No one makes me feel like you do.”
William smiled, then froze. He struggled to keep his tone neutral as he fingered the side of her dress. “You let a few try, then?” He kept his eyes trained on her shoulder and swallowed hard. It doesn’t matter, he thought, she’s choosing you. The sick pit in his stomach disagreed. The thought of her with another man tore him apart inside.
Buffy noticed the sudden tension in his frame and guessed easily enough at its cause. Under other circumstance she’d have been tempted to play with him a bit, pretend to misunderstand or give a vague answer and let him dangle some, after all he certainly hadn’t saved himself for her. These weren’t those circumstances. She gently cupped his cheek in her hand. “No one’s gotten more than a dull goodnight kiss. You’re the only one I could ever—”
He didn’t let her finish. He’d heard enough to make his heart soar for a lifetime. He pulled her close and, sliding his hands under her ass, lifted off the dresser. Seconds later he dropped her on the bed and crawled up to meet her.
He slid his hand up her leg, pushing her skirt up to her hip and kissed her thigh. She shivered. Pushing her skirt up a little higher, he pressed his thumbs beneath the strings on the sides of her brief panties and quickly tugged them off.
William moved to drop more kisses on her inner thigh, but she tugged him upwards. “Later.”
He smirked. “Yeah?”
Buffy smiled at the cocky look on his face, it was the same expression that had made her feel like he was a different person the first time she’d seen it. His confidence had thrown her, she remembered worrying during those first couple of days of her visit that she’d lost her best friend. She knew better now. He’d grown up, but he was still her Will. “Yeah,” she echoed. She pulled his face close to hers and kissed his cheeks.
William gave her a slightly dazed smile. “I love you.” His expression grew serious as he watched for her response. He hadn’t meant to press the issue, but there it was. He needed to know.
She smiled and brushed her fingers across his temple. The emotion she saw in his eyes made her tremble. “I love you too, Will.” She swallowed and her voice trembled. “I love you so much.”
She felt his smile even as he kissed her.
Dropping his forehead to hers he froze for a second. “You’re sure about this? Because…”
“Make love to me, Will. With me. Make love with me.” Buffy realized that she was prepared to beg if necessary. Her body arched towards his of its own accord and she slid her hands down his back roughly. Her thumbs found the waistband of his pants and she pushed. “Please.”
Her words made him soar. They were the perfect words. They were the exact words he’d always dreamed of hearing. His heart jumped to his throat. He swallowed hard, but still couldn’t speak. He gave her a little smile as he dealt with his zipper. He didn’t bother removing his pants or even his shoes. The reality was better than any of his fantasies. He pressed into her slowly, but fully. His eyes never left hers.
An hour later they were still curled up on top of her blankets. Buffy had her head resting on his chest and her arm thrown across his waist. She slid her leg over one of his and grinned tiredly but triumphantly; he was pinned.
William reached down to brush her hair away from her forehead. “I don’t suppose you’d like to be my date for Liam’s wedding…”
Buffy gave him a light, playful punch in the arm. “You’d better believe I would, mister. Like I’m going to let you leave the country without me.” She shook her head. “Last time it took you years to come home.”
William smiled broadly. “It won’t happen again.” Buffy groaned and he frowned. “What’s wrong, love?”
“We’re going to have to tell our moms.” She pushed herself up so that she sat astride his thighs and shook her head in exaggerated dismay. “Awkward.”
He laughed fully. “I’m pretty sure they know.”
Her eyes widened comically. “What?”
“All that nonsense at Christmas about us playing about in our pants—they must know.” He shrugged. “It’s not like I hid my feelings when we were younger. I told my mum dozens of times that you were going to be my wife.”
Buffy bit her lip to keep from laughing. “Because you thought we were engaged.” She saw the shadow of hurt pass through his eyes and regretted her teasing immediately. “Will, I…”
“No worries. It’s not a thing.”
She leaned down to kiss him. “You were right though; I was always your girl. I didn’t know the words for it or what it meant, but I always knew that you were my Will and I was your Buffy.” She blinked back a couple of tears. “I’m sorry it took me so long to figure it out. I’m sorry that…”
William reached up to cup her face with his palm. “Hey. No more sorrys. It’s done and passed. You’re my girl; that’s all that matters to me.” He gave her a lopsided grin. “Maybe just try not to forget it this time.”
Buffy laughed. “I won’t. I promise.”
The End.
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Banner by Alissa.Author's Chapter Notes:
Here it is-started a year and a half ago and finished today...Promised. I'll miss these two in a few weeks, but right now I am sooo glad to be done with this fic.Please note that this chapter is divided into two posts due to length. Please let me know what you think. Thanks for all the support and comments. DK
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Please give me one more comment. :)