An hour and a half later, Buffy’s eyes fluttered open when she heard Angel run into the mansion. “You’re here,” she whispered as he gave her a small smile. “That was fast.” Her body felt heavy as she pushed herself up into a sitting position. Her face felt swollen, like it had for the past several hours, and she must look like crap to him.
“Broke every speed limit to get here.” Angel came over and sat next to her. “Tell me what happened.”
Buffy proceeded to tell him everything. She started with telling him that Spike had a soul and what had happened between them, leaving out the rape part. She told him that first had kidnapped Spike and how things had been between her and Spike since she had rescued him. She knew she had to make Angel understand her feelings for Spike. “Angel, I know you hate Spike but I need him. Faith took him from me and my role as leader. I don’t know what to do,” she whimpered, curled up in his lap. “We had such a strong friendship and we were doing so well with the girls. And all of that was just thrown away. He just… moved on to her like I wasn’t even there.”
“Come on. I’ll take you home and we’ll get this sorted out,” he said, standing with her in her arms.
She nodded against him. That wasn’t what she was expecting. She had been expecting him to give her a lecture about Spike, but he didn’t. She didn’t want to question his motives right now. “I just want something that’s mine for once,” she said, softly. “I feel so lost and I didn’t know what to do. You were the only one I could think of to call.”
Angel kissed her forehead. “I’ll talk care of everything,” he assured her softly. “I didn’t send Faith here to cause problems. Thought you could use her help. Apparently something didn’t go right.”
“Nothing is right,” the tired slayer muttered. “Wish you’d take her back with you.” But in reality Buffy knew she needed Faith in this fight. She didn’t know how she was going to get through that if Spike and Faith were going to be making with the smoochies now. Buffy wouldn’t be able to concentrate on what she was supposed to be doing. She’d be miserable.
She was exhausted when they got to her house, but she couldn’t close her eyes. There would be no point. Angel carried her up the stairs and she helped him open the door. The house was quiet and she heard her sister acknowledge her presence. “Buffy,” Dawn cried out, going over to them. “Are you okay?”
Buffy shook her head slightly. “No, Angel can you take me upstairs so I can talk to Dawn?” She whispered. She didn’t look at Spike when he came out of the kitchen nor did she care to acknowledge his growl at Angel’s presence. She sniffled a little but she was thankful when Angel took her right upstairs to her room. He gently laid her on her bed and Dawn joined her. “Thanks.”
“I’m going to talk to Spike,” he said, looking down at her. “And I’m going to hurt him. I’ll knock some sense into him.”
Buffy closed her eyes and sniffled. “Okay,” she said. “Just take it outside.” She didn’t have the energy to knock any sense into him. She looked up at Dawn as Angel left the room. What did her sister know? Did Spike tell her anything when he came home earlier?
Dawn pushed Buffy’s hair out of her face and handed her a tissue to blow her nose. “Spike said you weren’t coming home.”
“I wasn’t. I called Angel, asked him to take Faith back to L.A.,” Buffy murmured, blowing her nose and tossing the tissue into the garbage can. “But I don’t think he’s going to. I saw them kissing in the cemetery and I was devastated. He just… he just threw what we had away for her.”
Dawn slid her arms around Buffy and gave her a comforting hug. “What are you going to do now?” She asked.
Buffy shrugged. “I’m not sure,” she said, pulling back. “I might have to get over it if I’m gunna be able to focus on the bigger picture.” But as far as she was concerned, Faith could take over and do Buffy’s job. Faith thought it was some big party, when it really wasn’t. They were in the worst battle of their life, even if it hadn’t gotten to its worst part yet, they still weren’t the stronger warriors this time. They didn’t have a plan or anything that would gaurentee the safety of the world.
“Want me set him on fire?” Her sister teased. “Might make you feel better.”
***
Downstairs, Spike was really worried about Buffy. He had not been happy when Angel had returned to the house with his broken slayer in his arms. That was the last thing he wanted to see. After leaving the cemetery, he had come back to the house and sat on the porch for an hour or so, hoping Buffy would come home and let him explain. But she never did. He thought she was serious and he finally went inside. He didn’t talk to anyone, just went to the basement, locking the door and sat alone on his cot with his thoughts. When he saw Angel come downstairs, Spike knew his Sire was pissed. “I want you outside right now,” Angel growled.
Spike looked at him closely. “What happened to Buffy?” He asked, giving a growl when Angle manhandled him to the front porch. He hadn’t had a second to formulate his next question when Angel smashed his fist into his nose. Spike regained his footing in the middle of the yard. “What the hell was that for?” He growled. He had forgotten how much force his sire could use when he was angry.
“Do you have any idea what you have done to Buffy?” Angel flared, stalking toward him.
“No. She wouldn’t tell me,” Spike answered. But he had some idea. He couldn’t be sure, and Buffy wouldn’t talk to him or let him explain himself. “Didn’t expect you to be here, but I shouldn’t be surprised. Always coming to Buffy’s rescue.”
“She called me crying her eyes out on the phone. How Faith stole everything from her. You’re the reason Buffy is the way she is. She’s dieing inside because of you,” Angel blazed, as he circled the younger vampire. “So yeah I did come, because she had no one else.”
“What a minute,” Spike said, as he stopped turning in circles. “I didn’t do anything to her.” He was so confused. What did Faith have to do with anything that he did? Unless Buffy did see something in the cemetery or if Faith said something to her that made her think that something happened between the two of them. “I don’t know what Buffy told you, but she’s wrong.”
“You and Faith?” Angel snapped. “I sent Faith here to help not ruin Buffy’s life. You were the only one that she could turn to and you turned on her.”
Spike paused. “Buffy and I are just friends. She made it very clear she only wanted to be friends so it shouldn’t matter that I am having a relationship with Faith.” Which he wasn’t. They were just friends. And he was just friends with Buffy. It was easier that way, especially right now with the First meddling in their lives.
“She told me everything that has happened. About your soul. She thought she was finally going to have a life with you. She’s up there dying of a broken heart. Literally. So I don’t care who you are just friends with,” Angel growled. “Had I not come to her, she would have let herself become a snack to someone. If you did replace Buffy with Faith I’m taking her back to L.A. and helping her through this. She asked me to take Faith away, but I’m going to take her. The choice is yours. God help me for saying that.”
Spike stared at his sire as he was left alone. Angel was going to take his girl away? Like leave town? He made his way to the porch steps and sat down. What was he going to do? He had no idea how to make this better. He didn’t even look up as Faith joined him on the porch a few minutes later. “Angel told me a little of what happened. He’s taking Buffy to L.A.,” she whispered. “We weren’t doing anything.”
“Buffy thinks we were,” Spike answered not looking at her. “I don’t get it. I didn’t think it mattered. But I guess I was wrong.” That wasn’t even the point. He somehow managed to hurt the woman he loved more the unlife itself, and he didn’t even mean to. It was killing him to see her in pain and he didn’t know what to do. How was he going to keep her here? How were they going to get through this fight without her?
The front door opened again and Dawn’s scent drifted around him. Great. She was really going to tear into him now. “Faith, can I talk to Spike, alone?” She asked, as she stood on the other side of Spike.
Faith nodded. “He’s all yours,” she said, as she stood up. “For the record, we didn’t do anything.”
Spike bowed his head and sighed. “Dawn…” He could explain this Dawn. Nothing happened, so there was no reason to get upset. Right? After everything he had done to make amends with the people he loved, it was all falling apart. The pieces were just slipping through his fingers and there was nothing he could do to stop it.
“Spike, if you want to be with Faith, Buffy and I are going to L.A.” Spike looked up at her. “I thought you’d wanna know. You’re gonna lose me and Buffy forever if we leave. How could you do that to Buffy? Why would you move on to a different slayer right in front of her?”
He got to his feet and looked at the young girl that was just about his height. “I didn’t,” he answered, his eyes boring into Dawn’s. He wasn’t going to let Angel take his girl away over some misunderstanding. It wasn’t going to happen. Not if he had anything to say about it. “I don’t know what Buffy saw, or what she thinks she saw, but she is wrong. And no one is going anywhere.” With that he went inside and made his way upstairs to Buffy’s room.
He paused outside of her room, listening to her sniffles as she talked to Angel. They were making plans to leave soon, and it was all he could do not to burst into her room and beg her to stay. That wasn’t going to do it. He gently knocked on her door before opening it. She was sitting on her bed with her back against the headboard, her feet tucked underneath her. She was pale and he could tell from her heart beat that she was tired. Angel was holding her hand and she didn’t even have the strength to wrap her fingers around his. Or she had no desire to. He hoped she didn’t want to.
Angel looked up at Spike and gently got off of Buffy’s bed. “I’ll wait downstairs in case you want to come with me,” he said, leaving the room.
Spike closed the door and leaned against it. “Buffy.” He ached to go to her and wrap her up in his arms and tell her everything would be okay, but he knew that it wasn’t. He broke her heart and putting Buffy’s heart back together was no easy task. “I don’t know what you saw, but nothing is going on with Faith and I.”
“I saw you kiss her in the cemetery,” Buffy argued as she blinked away tears. “And then this morning you guys were all snuggly and flirty. Don’t tell me that that’s nothing. It looked like something to everyone else.”
He crossed his arms as he glared at her. “I didn’t kiss her,” he said. “And she didn’t kiss me either. We went out on patrol and that was it.” She thought he was kissing another girl? Had she totally lost her mind? He didn’t move on that easily to people. He still loved Buffy, but she apparently didn’t know that. He couldn’t understand how she could think he was going to move on. Did she not see it was killing him to see her fight her tears and not give her any comfort.
Her eyes drifted downward to stare at her comforter. “I saw you, Spike,” she whispered in a choked voice. “You didn’t even wait for me to come home last night and you just went out with her. And I saw you two in the cemetery. She was all over you.”
“Because she fell on me, Buffy,” he explained. “But that was it. She staked a vampire that was getting the better of me and that’s all you saw. She got off me and we patrolled. Nothing else happened.” He pushed himself off the door and made his way to her bed. He carefully set on the edge, not wanting to be too close to her. She might break his nose and maybe he deserved it, but he didn’t know. She didn’t look at him and she didn’t seem to be saying anything any time soon. He slid closer to her and reached his hand out to hers. “Are you gonna talk to me?”
Buffy took a deep breath. “I don’t know what to say to you,” she said softly. “Even if you didn’t kiss her, you didn’t push her off when she fell on you. You guys looked pretty cozy to me. And you were coupley this morning. And I was there. I heard the giggling and the whispering. It was like it didn’t matter that I was in the room.”
“I didn’t know how you felt, and you could have told me instead of running away,” he said, softly. “And I don’t want Angel to take you away from me.” He was so tired of watching her run away every time she had a problem. Why couldn’t she just face it and work it out? But he could see where he may have screwed up himself. Even if nothing happened on patrol with Faith, he was being a little flirty with her in the kitchen, which he didn’t think was a big deal. And he knew he couldn’t handle her leaving.
Buffy finally met his eyes and nothing could prepare him for what she said next. “I’ve never had to call Angel for anything. Never. That’s how bad you hurt me. I had to call him because I didn’t know what to do. I used to be able to go to you about anything and that blew up in my face,” she said, pushing her body out of bed and moving away from him. “I haven’t moved on like you have. I didn’t go to another man because I knew there was no one else like you. I knew I wasn’t gonna find someone better then you. I went on a date with the principle but it didn’t mean anything. I know Faith’s better then me. She’s ruined two of my relationships in the past and she almost killed my mother. I don’t know what I did to make you do this to me but its killing me. I’ve never felt anything like this,” she continued, as her shoulders started to shake. “Losing Angel, twice, Riley, my mom, coming back, you attacking me, none of those things hurt as much as this has. I know I made some mistakes last year and I hurt you but I’m sorry. Spike, please make this pain stop,” she said, sliding to the floor, sobbing softly.
Tears were running down Spike’s face as well at the pain he caused her. Half of what she had just said didn’t make too much sense to him, but he knew she was heart broken. Because of him. He went over and scooped her up into his arms and went back to bed. He took her place against the headboard and cradled her into his arms. “I’m so sorry, Buffy,” he said, rocking her back and forth. “I never meant to hurt you.” He never imagined that he could hurt her this bad. He hugged her closer to his body. “I didn’t mean to hurt you, Buffy. I love you so much. Please forgive me,” he whispered, burying his face in her hair. “I didn’t know.”
Buffy slid one of her arms around his waist. “It just hurt so badly,” she whimpered. “I never thought… I never imagined that I would lose you. Not to her.” She sniffled for a few moments, as her tears began to stop.
“I’m not going anywhere,” he whispered into her hair. “I promise.” He ran his hands under her shirt in a soothing gesture. He pressed soft kisses to her hair as he continued to rock her gently in his arms. He would never dream of leaving her, and not for another woman. “No other woman would ever compare to you, Buffy. Not Faith, not anyone. There is no one else for me.”
She shuddered and nodded against him. “Can you just hold me so I can sleep,” she said, closing her eyes.
Spike gently laid them down and he held her as she fell asleep instantly. He felt almost relieved knowing that she wouldnt be returning with Angel. He wiped a few of his own tears away as he ran a finger down her cheek softly. “I love you so much, Buffy,” he whispered to her sleeping form. He held her protectively in his arms and kissed her forehead. He would make it up to her. No matter what. He would never, ever, hurt her again.
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Chapter End Notes:
Hope you werent too disappointed. There may be another chapter. I know it says completed, but i may surprise you.