Chapter 6. Questions, Answers and Consequences
“We need to talk, love,” William said, lowering her feet to the floor and taking a step back from her, even though he kept his hands around her waist for a second.
She blinked, trying to make sense of his words. He wanted to talk… now? Why? Did he regret this moment, too?
“Here, put this on,” he said, taking off his t-shirt and giving it to her, not quite meeting her eyes.
She frowned as she grabbed the black shirt and put it on. It smelled like him, but as much as she would’ve liked to, she couldn’t focus on that now, not with whatever he wanted to tell her looming on the horizon.
“First off, I want you to know I don’ regret anythin’ that’s happened between us, Buffy,” he began saying once she was ‘decent’, and she wondered for a second if he’d read her mind, but forgot about it when he cast a hand over his mussed hair and rubbed his neck in a gesture that indicated nervousness.
Why would he be nervous, though? Was what he had to say really that bad?
“Thing is that I-I… I messed up, love.” He hung his head low, refusing to meet her inquiring gaze.
He messed up? What on earth was he going on about now? She put a finger under his chin and leveled his eyes with hers. “What’s wrong? Tell me.”
He heaved a pained sigh, before grabbing both of her hands in his and leading her towards the black leather couch in the center of the living room. “Maybe we should sit for this.”
“For what? Now you’re scaring me, William.” And she truly was, the somber expression in his face sent a shiver of foreboding down her spine.
“I just want you to realize… if anyone is guilty `f anythin’ `ere is me, alright?”
Buffy frowned again, not understanding where he was going with this. He said he didn’t regret what happened, then that he’d messed up and she couldn’t for the life of her think of any way he could’ve done just that. Unless…
Could it be that he was involved with someone else? She felt her blood freeze inside her veins as she realized it could be all too possible.
William had stopped visiting them all of the sudden about a year ago, and even if neither her parents nor he had mentioned he had a girlfriend, nor had she found any signs of anyone else living in his house, she couldn’t be completely sure that he didn’t. Hell bent as she’d been on seducing him, they’d hadn’t had much chance to talk since that morning when her parents dropped her off on their way to the airport.
Until now, that is.
Now there was all the time in the world for him to either give wings to this illusion of hers, or crush it once and for all.
*~*~*~*~*
Buffy was tense, nervous, on edge as she waited for him to explain himself. And he really couldn’t blame her, since that’s exactly how he felt right now as well. He had no bloody idea how to approach the subject. No bleeding clue as to how to tell her what he had to tell her, or how she would respond to what he had to say.
He had to, though, no two ways about it. The more time he wasted, the worse it would be. He squeezed her hand so she would raise her eyes from her lap and sighed heavily as their eyes locked.
“I jus’ want you to know, it wasn’ on purpose, pet. And while that might sound too soddin’ close to an excuse, well, it isn’. I was so bloody wrapped up in the moment, in you, that I forgot all ‘bout it `til it was too late.”
She scrunched her nose adorably, confusion swirling in the green depths, and he decided to just get it over with before she got the wrong idea… again.
“Forgotaboutthebloodycondom,” he muttered in a rushed whisper, so low and the words so jumbled together he wasn’t certain if she understood him. Not like he was willing to say it all over again even if she didn’t. Once was hard enough.
“What?”
“Argh, you’re goin’ to make me spit it out, aren’ you? Forgot to wear a bloody condom, that’s what!”
She remained quiet for a few moments, unblinking, her expression completely blank as she gaped at him.
He wasn’t sure how he expected her to react, but it hadn’t been her being nearly catatonic one second and laughing her head off the next. She was nearly doubled in half as tears of mirth dribbled down her cheeks, making him briefly consider if she might have lost her marbles.
“Y-you… Oh God,” she said, panting and clutching at her abdomen, before exploding in a new fit of giggles.
“I don’ find it amusin’,” he countered wryly, pouting slightly. After all, it was no small issue for her to be so… flippant about it.
“Oh, but it is… it so is. Out of everything I thought…” She didn’t complete the sentence, instead wiping the errant tears from her flushed skin and grinning at him brightly before saying five words that had him both sagging with relief and feeling mildly disappointed. “I’m on the pill, William.”
“You are?” He wasn’t certain how he felt about this… it didn’t matter, though, that was one less thing to worry about. “Why didn’ you tell me before?”
“You didn’t ask.” She shrugged nonchalantly, a teasing glint in her eyes. “Actually, you would’ve saved us lots of heartache and time if only you had done just that instead of being so busy banging your head on the ground and giving me the wrong impression.”
“Cheeky bint,” he grumbled good-naturedly, frowning when he recalled her earlier words. “What did you think I wanted to say to you, pet?”
Her mirth disappeared altogether as she looked everywhere but at him, wringing her hands on her lap. “Ah, err, I…” she stammered. “N-nothing.”
“Nothin’ wouldn’ have sent you to your room in a flurry earlier today or made you so nervous just now, love. Tell me. I wanna know.”
“You’ll find it childish and immature,” she groused, her lips pursing slightly. He had to bite the inside of his cheek to stop himself from smiling at how adorable she looked doing that.
She was so young, innocent and inexperienced, and he was a bad, rude man for still wanting her. But he couldn’t stop now that he’d had her. She was his for as long as he possibly could hold on to her.
It was an uphill battle, he knew.
A battle against age, moral conventions and society. Against her parents after they realize he’d broken their trust by despoiling their only daughter. Against her when she came to her senses and decided he was too bloody old for her. Against himself when he fell from heaven into a bottomless pit of despair.
He didn’t care about any of that, though… not right now, at least. Didn’t care about anything other than being buried as deeply inside of her as he could possibly be… both physically and emotionally. He was drowning in her, damn near literally.
Petty as it might be, he almost wished she hadn’t been on the pill, that he’d gotten her pregnant… despite what it entailed or whatever problems might arise because of it. He almost wished there was a baby growing inside her, something he could hold on to when she finally moved on. An unbreakable bond between them.
If only that could be… just without the bloody complications it’d bring to both of their lives.
He shook his head, focusing his attention on her once again. It was of no use to mull over things that wouldn’t happen anyway. “We won’ know `til you tell me, now will we?
“I-I thought…” She paused, biting on her bottom lip, her eyes darting away from his as she lowered her head, taking in a deep breath and bugger all, if her reticence to talk didn’t make him even more curious of what might have been going on in that gorgeous head of hers. “I thought you regretted w-what we d-did,” she began quietly. “And you didn’t know how to tell me. I thought maybe there was someone else you’d rather be with t-than—” she closed her eyes for a second and when she opened them again, they were brimming with unshed tears, their brilliant jade hue nearly overshadowed by the evidence of her obvious pain, “—than with me.”
She looked so crushed, so lost, and he fell just a little bit more for her then.
He was doomed, hopelessly falling under her spell, and he couldn’t care less about it as he pulled her onto his lap, embracing her tightly before making her face him. “Told you I didn’ regret it, love, an’ I meant it.
“I wouldn’ have made love to you if I were involved with someone else, no matter how bloody temptin’ you are, or how crazy you drive me. `m not like that, pet. Never have been. Never will be.”
“Really?” she couldn’t stop herself from asking, her heart filling with hope at the way he was looking at her.
“Really, pet.” He sighed, raising his left hand to caress her cheek softly. “I don’ know where this is goin’, but I’d like to find out… if you want to, that is.”
If she wanted to? She’d never wanted anything else more in her life. Him talking to her like this, looking at her like this… not as if she were a little girl or the daughter of his best friends, but as a woman, a woman he actually wished to be with… it was more than she ever expected. It was a dream come true, and she wasn’t about to let it escape from her grasp. Not if she could help it.
She nodded, a watery smile forming on her lips as she moved in a little bit closer. “I want to, William. I want to see where it goes.”
He grinned, lifting his other hand to frame her cheeks, holding her face captive as he leaned in to brush his lips with hers. “`m glad you feel that way, love. Wasn’ ready to be lettin’ you go jus’ yet.”
Just yet? She squashed the pang of disappointment his words brought forth, deciding to let it slide for the time being. Maybe it was just a figure of speech? “I’m not going anywhere.”
“No, you aren’ goin’ anywhere, that’s true,” he said, hope blossoming in her chest at his words. “You aren’ allowed out of the house if it’s not with me for the next two weeks.”
She blinked, pulling away from his slightly. “What?”
“You heard me.”
“That’s not fair. I didn’t do anything,” she whined.
“Didn’ do anythin’?” He raised a scarred eyebrow at her. “Makin’ me so bloody jealous I couldn’ think straight is more `n `nough in my opinion.”
“But that wasn’t my fault,” she pouted, looking at him through lowered lashes, her index finger making abstract patterns over his bare chest. “And you looked so hot acting all cavemanly.”
“Yeah? You liked that then, kitten?” He tilted his head to the side in that way that made her pulse quicken.
“U-huh, possessive, growly William is a very good thing,” she purred, leaning forward until her mouth was just a hairsbreadth away from his. “Actually, if those are the results, maybe I should make you jealous more often?” she asked teasingly, a mischievous glint in her eyes.
She didn’t even see him move. One moment he was looking at her with shock written all over his face, the next she was pinned under him, with her back over the leather couch and a dangerous looking William hovering over her.
“You. Are. Mine. Do you hear me? Mine,” he growled; his dark blue gaze boring into hers with an intensity that sent shivers racing down her back. His nostrils flared and his lips tightened in a fine line as he pressed her knees apart with one of his to settle his hips between her legs while she stared breathlessly up at him, her body tingling everywhere it made contact with his.
Was there any doubt she was when he could make her feel as if she were coming apart at the seams with just a few words, a look, and a touch? She moaned, her eyes rolling to the back of her head as he ground his erection against her, hitting her in all the right places.
“Mine,” he punctuated again with a hard thrust of his hips before crashing her lips with his.
tbc
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Author's Chapter Notes:
Many thanks for the reviews for the last chapter. I’m so happy you enjoyed caveman!Spike, especially because he seems intent on returning. *LOL*A million thanks to my lovely Dee for editing this chapter for me and making awesome suggestions when I got stuck. *snuggles*
Chapter End Notes:
So as per a poll I made in my LJ, next in line to be updated is Against All Odds, then Bring Me to Life, Into the Night and a story I’m only posting in my journal and at taboo_spuffy, called Dirty Little Secrets, then hopefully back to Dare to Dance. Hope that’s alright with all of you. ;)