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Author's Chapter Notes:
This is the second installment of the With Feeling.
FEELINGS?

As Buffy ran from the Magic Box, she felt more free and relaxed than she had in a long time....'Except for heaven' she thought as tears sprung to her wide eyes. Buffy continued to run, trying to outrun her feelings from earlier.....

Buffy continued her bruising pace. Her feet had been determining where she was going for sometime, until her mind told them to slow down and walk. Buffy's feet were beating in time with her pulse, due to the heavy running that she has been doing throughout the deserted streets of Sunnydale.

Buffy felt that she had been running from the devil himself, in a way she was. She was running from the devil that hid under her well-bronzed skin. Tonight he was unleashed and it felt.......

"Wonderful.....No not just wonderful.....fucking phenomenal!" Buffy yelled out loud to the empty street.

A loud belly-laugh followed her grand admission. Buffy had to stop while walking, due to this outburst of laughter. Then her body contorted, as the laugh over took her body. After several moments, she gained some composure, enough to walk and continued the route that her feet had started to take....towards Rest field Cemetery.

'Home away from home' she punned to herself.

Buffy felt that familiar tingle hit her spine........vampires.

"Good, I'm in the mood for a bit of 'rough and tumble'!" She stated to the seemingly deserted cemetery.

Due to the use of a Spikeism, Buffy started to reflect back to earlier this evening, with her "song and dance" number at the Magic Box. Her mind started to focus on the impressions that marred the Scoobies faces......shock, amazement, and fear. At that time, Buffy believed that she could have smelled the fear rolling off the Scoobies.

Most importantly she remembers one brazen look, one of lust. Yea, Xander had lust in his eyes for a brief time...

'Until I scratched it out of him' Buffy thought with slight frown. 'Well, if you want to play with fire, prepare to be burned' Buffy thought again.

Then her thoughts sought out another lustful face. The face that looked like an angel, but with a devilish smirk that adorned his full, kissable lips.

With razor sharp cheek bones that led up to the most exquisite eyes that she had ever look upon. His eyes could reflect so much emotion with every blink. These eyes would change with his mood; dark and stormy when he was angered. When happy, which unfortunately wasn't often, they would become a crystal clear blue, like the sky on a warm summers day.

When he was full of passion, his eyes became deep and penetrating like an infinite ocean, where the bottom had never seen the light of day. Tonight his eyes were all these and more. They were changing with each movement that she made.

The whole time while she was 'singing and dancing', Buffy kept Spike in her peripheral vision so she could gauge his reaction to her and her newly gained liberation. Spike expression filled eyes told her that he really, really enjoyed her liberation just as much as she did.

Buffy loved her new found freedom. Last year when Spike told her about when he had become a vampire, he stated that it was a ‘profound and powerful experience’.

He felt new found strength coursing through his veins. He stated that he was "tired of living by society rules" and now as a vampire he was no longer bound to act in a manner that was expected from him; either by his peers nor society in general.

At the time, Buffy scoffed at him. But, secretly she was envious of him. Envious that he no longer cared what others thought; even the three Master vampires that ruled his clan. Now was her chance to have the same freedom he has had for over a century.

Buffy did love her friends with all her being.....it wasn't that, it was just that she wanted.....no needed to live, really live her own life. Before she....died....she lived through others thoughts and feelings. She always tried to behave, think and act how they wanted her to be. Well, not anymore.

"I've already died twice! I need to live my life for me!" Buffy yelled in the quiet cemetery.

"Well, I knew you were a sweet pussy, but didn't know you had nine lives.....maybe we can take away the other seven right now."

Said one of the five vampires that were standing in front of her.

The one that spoke was Mr. 80's reject vampire. He had long, dirty black hair, ripped acid washed jeans. On his scrawny body, he adorned a Poison "Look What the Cat Dragged In" tee shirt, which had the sleeves cut off to show off muscular arms......that he didn't possess.

His other side kicks, varied in heights and sizes.

The five vampires started to form a loose circle around Buffy. Buffy felt that Mr. 80's reject, due to his puft-up presence, must be the sorry excuse for the "Master" vampire of this motley crew.

"So....are you the new big bad around here?" Buffy asked trying to hold in her laughter.

"I'm glad that I'm finally getting the recognition I deserve" Mr. 80’s said to his buddies.

"You have no clue who I am, do you?" Buffy asked amazed.

"Dinner," another very overweight vampire stated?

"Really.....I don’t think so, 'fat-boy'!" Buffy’s voice bit back.

"Well, the way I see it, you’re out numbered 5 to 1. Not good odds wouldn't go to Vegas with them." Mr. 80’s said again, laughing at his 'witty' response.

"Trapped like an animal, you are" 'Fat-boy' said again licking his fangs.

The familiar feeling that Buffy had back at the Magic Box started to over take her again. She felt that her body was being possessed by a more feral part of her being....the slayer.
Buffy felt a rush of power over take her, as she started to put lyrics to the heavy bass beat that pounded in her head.

"I can't escape this hell
So many times I've tried
But I'm still caged inside
Somebody get me though this nightmare
I can't control myself"*

The five vampires that were surrounding Buffy all watched her with slack jaws as she started to sing. Then Buffy crouched into the same position she held while standing on the table at the Magic Box.

Again her appearance took on a more feral appearance then it held earlier. Her voice was a low rumble and her gaze seemed to penetrate all those that it hit.

"Someone if you can see
The dark inside of me
Noone would ever change this animal I have become
Help me believe, It's not the real me"*
"Somebody help me tame this animal
This animal
This animal"*

With the last line sung, Buffy sprung up from the crotched position, did two back flips, and decapitating the vampire that was standing behind her with the heels of her boots.

In a burst of dust the group was down to four. Buffy then walked casually over the the nearest grave marker and sat down.

The remaining vamps, stared at the dust filled air where their comrade had once stood. After several beats one of the remaining vamps spoke,

"Who the hell are you?"

"An animal, just like 'fat-boy' said," Buffy stated sporting a slightly sinister grin; she then continued to sing,

"I can't escape myself
So many times I've lied
But there's still rage inside
Somebody get me through this
nightmare
I can't control myself"*

"Someone if you can see
The dark inside of me
Noone would ever change this animal I
have become
Help me believe, It's not the real me
Somebody help me tame this animal I
have become
Help me believe, It's not the real me
Somebody help me tame this animal"*

With that Buffy launched off the grave marker, grabbed the nearest vamp that was still motionless with fear. She executed a round house kick that tore his head from his body. The dust swirls were all that remained of him, as Buffy stalked towards the remaining three; Mr. 80's reject, 'fat-boy' and another, just as clueless vamp.

Across town, Spike was stepping out of the Magic Box trying to track the direction that Buffy had headed off to. It wasn't difficult to pick her scent up.

"Hell, even a human could track her with the pheromones that she is givin' off" Spike said to himself, adjusting the straining erection that was encased in his tight black jeans.

Spike took a deep breath; again letting her delicious scent fill him completely. Spike gave a devious grin and followed 'his' Buffy.

Once Spike fully caught her scent, he started to run in the direction that it lead him.

Spike continued running at breakneck speed to catch up with Buffy. He was concerned that with presence of mind that she was in, there was no telling what trouble she would find.....or that would find her. Buffy's scent brought him to the gates of Restfield cemetery.

Spike could sense that the Slayer and four.....no three vamps were near. As Spike walked through the gates, he could hear a slight scuffle and then heard Buffy singing again.

"Somebody help me through this nightmare
I can't control myself
Somebody wake me from this nightmare
I can't escape this cell

This animal
This animal
This animal
This animal
This animal
This animal
This animal"

As Buffy was repeating the line "this animal" she was circling the remaining one vampire. While she was singing earlier, she staked the other two remaining vampires in quick secession, until only 'fat-boy' remained.

'Fat-boy’s' body tried to move with hers, so she couldn't get behind him. Then suddenly, he lunged forward as he yelled out,

"What the fuck are you!?" Buffy stopped her movements and looked at him with a crooked grin and tilted head.

Her eyes again seem to take on a yellow hue as they did earlier.

Spike saw this from where he was watching the show. He didn't want to interrupt Buffy as she played with these gits.

The other two never saw what hit them. Spike loved how Buffy moved like dangerous poetry in motion.

But, once 'fat-boy' lunged forward, Spike let forward a loud warning growl. Spike needed to act, as it seemed that Buffy was in a song-filled haze.

"She's the slayer, ya bloody pillock!" Out of the darkness he ran from behind the vampire and staked him in the back. Spike walked through the remnants of the portly vampire to walk over to Buffy.

Her look was still glazed over and she was still starring at where the previous vampire had been. Spike placed his two long fingers under her chin to bring her eyes up to his.

After several moments, she lifted her teary green eyes and stared into the calming ocean blues of Spike's.
Buffy's remaining song broke the moment that they shared,

"Someone if you can see
The dark inside of me
Noone would ever change this animal I have become
Help me believe, It's not the real me
Somebody help me tame this animal I have become
Help me believe, It's not the real me
Somebody help me tame this animal
This animal I have become"*

*Animal I Have Become: Three Days Grace


After the last word left her lips, Buffy dropped her head down as she started to cry. Her shoulders and her body started to shake with the intensity of her sobs.

Spike watched as this once mighty warrior, became the wounded person that was standing before him now.

Tonight was the first time that Buffy ever let her defenses down and showed this more delicate side of herself....the girl. Risking being punched in the nose; Spike stepped forward and pulled Buffy into his embrace. At first she went rigid, and then she slowly started to melt into his embrace.

They both clung to each other, among the dead, and neither felt more alive. Spike placed a lingering kiss to the top of her golden crown and cooed words of endearment and comfort.

"Spike....what's happening to me?" Slightly leaning back so she could look into his face, but not breaking their contact.

"I don't rightly know luv. It has ta be that demon that we were researching earlier, before....." Spike didn't finish his thought. He didn't know how to proceed with this emotional woman finally in his arms.

"Your dinner and a show earlier?" She said with a playful tone.

"Lovely time it was, definitely rated high in the Zagnut's guide as a must see." Spike retorted with equal playfulness.

Buffy stuck out her tongue at Spike; she remembered what she did earlier with said tongue and with whom.

Spike starred at the wiggling appendage and his eyes told the tale of his feelings. They became a dark royal blue, stormy with lust. Spike unconsciously licked his lips, as this pink seductive object did a small dance.
Buffy then felt the stirrings of Spike's 'wiggling appendage' as it pushed against its denim prison and pressed against her toned abdomen.

Once Buffy felt what this action was doing to Spike, she pulled her tongue in quickly, like a zip cord and stared at the beautiful vampire in her arms.

She never noticed how truly beautiful he was.....inside and out. Despite the demon that dwelled inside, that replaced his soul over a century ago, he still held on to his humanity.

He showed the full range of emotions, more than she at times did. Spike ate human food and enjoyed it. He would breathe, even though he needed no breath. Spike cared for people, who on the most part didn't give a damn about him. Spike was a walking contradiction, which made him.....well him. She admired him for it, and maybe even loved him for it.

"Luv.....what's on ya pretty littl' mind?" Spike asked as he studied the beauty in his arms.

"Spike....can you....take me....home" Buffy asked in a small shy voice.

"Yea luv....let's get ya home" Spike didn't want to break their interlocked bodies, so he swooped down and picked Buffy off her feet like a new bride.

"Spike......what are you doing?" Buffy asked as she giggled her question.

"Takin' you home, luv." Spike gazed into Buffy's beautiful face. Her hair was slightly wild and her clothes were askew from her earlier 'show' and her fight with a few vamps. Her makeup was slightly smudged around her wild green eyes....he had never seen a more radiant woman in his life.

"Spike....ummm......I don't.....want to go home" Buffy whispered, with vampire hearing, Spike heard it clearly.

Spike stopped in mid stride and looked at the amazing woman in his arms.

"I thought you said....." Spike asked slightly confused.

"I want.... to go... to your crypt.... your home.......hopefully soon....our home." Buffy said with all the courage she could muster. She was scared at being so bold. She bit her bottom lip waiting for his reply.

Spike stared at her for sometime, first he thought he misheard her, and then he thought he was dreaming.

"Buffy, say that again!"

"I want to go your crypt, your home. Hopefully soon, our home." This time she spoke with no hesitation.

"Pinch me?" Spike asked her.

"What? Why do you want me to pinch you?"

"I want to see if I'm dreamin'" Spike said in a small voice.

"I'll do one better." With that Buffy brought her feet to the ground and wound her arms around Spike's neck. She leaned up and gave Spike a chaste kiss on his full lips.

Spike stood wide eyed while she kissed him, initially. Then after a few beats, he kissed her back with all the passion that he felt for this incredible woman in his arms. Buffy.....his Buffy.

After several minutes of this mind-melting kiss, Buffy broke away when breathing became an issue. She noticed that Spike was breathing in sync with her and this warmed her. 'My crazy vampire' she thought with a bright smile.

"Definitely better than a pinch," Spike said with a cheeky grin

"It better be!" Buffy said with a mock huff and pout.

"Look at that lip, I'm gonna to get it.....gonna get it...."Spike said in a teasing tone, recalling the memory of their 'engagement' together.

Besides today, that was one of the fondest memories of his undead life.

Buffy started to back away from the stalking vampire, holding her hands up to try to block his advances. Spike lunged forward and fell on the moist earth.

Buffy took this chance to run away from the fallen vampire, laughing all the way back to his crypt.


Chapter End Notes:
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