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The Result

The demon continued her description of the rowdy, unthankful, unloving young man Liam had been. The truth of his life before unlife hurt. It wasn't the first time he had contemplated how different his life could have been if he had been the son his father had wanted, but it had been a long time since he really examined the young man he was.

If he had been the man his father wanted, Liam would have been a wealthy business man, with a wife, children, grandchildren... He could have died a happy old man.

"The Powers were very intuitive. They saw the Demon you were even before you were changed. Darla could see it that night."

Angel had to agree. He was a brute. The perfect vessel for a raging demon. "As you learned what you could do as a Vampire, the power engulfed your very being. Your entire mind was attuned to the artful destruction of humans. Their bodies and their minds."

Once again the memories from so long ago were pulled to the surface. The many weeks spent to take Drusilla's mind before finally turning her.

He killed her family off one by one. She fled to a convent. He still went after her...and eventually turned the innocent, insane seer. His own personal look into the future, his own little girl. Not that he was in any way a father figure to her. She was more lost in the dark world Angelus introduced her to than she had been in life in a world of light with visions that blasphemed God.

Angelus and Darla enjoyed the rare find of a seer, but she was more to handle than either of them felt a need to bother with.

With this in mind, Darla had encouraged Dru to find a mate. Or to be more exact, make one. So Drusilla did.

Enter William the Bloody. The bane of Angelus' unlife. Foolhardy and relentless, the young Vampire was obedient and loyal to his sire. Cocky and overbearing to his ancestors.

He lived for Drusilla. Unfortunately, she did not live for him, and Angelus reveled in this knowledge.

The little 'family' stayed together, wreaking havoc through Europe both together and on their own, until the Gypsies. Then Angelus, newly souled, was stranded in Europe. He was alone, helpless, unable to feed on humans without the guilt of killing flowing through his veins, along with the borrowed blood.

He followed his Sire to China, found her, and with more fervor than he thought he could muster, began working on convincing Darla he could be 'Angelus.' Here in China, where war raged day and night. Where people practically begged to be fed from.

The Slayer was, of course, there. Most Slayers followed war on instinct. This was where William the Bloody, now known as Spike, killed the Slayer. He was legend now, and by all rights could be called a Master. Angel's soul could not hide his pain at killing, his guilt from his past, or the fear of this unlife from Darla.

Darla soon tested her childe. She knew he had only been feeding off criminals, and even then he felt guilty. It was all too much, so he had turned to vermin, and she could smell the putrid blood in him. When the baby lying in the bassinet before him began to cry, his resolve faded. She left him alive, but he was alone.

Angel's head spun as he opened eyes he did not realize he had closed. A scowl crossed his face when his eyes met the demon. "Why do I have to see this again?! You just had me relive it?!" Angel stood stiffly.

Anger ran through his body, but he wouldn't attack and ruin his chance to pass whatever this particular test was about. There was a point. He just had to be patient, he hoped.

The demon walked up to Angel and grasped his arm lightly.

"These things, you think about them more than you admit to your friends, do you not?"

"Not as much as I did in the beginning, but I think about them." Angel became uncomfortable.

"Do you celebrate your human past? Do you remember with fondness the young woman Liam impregnated? Do you think happily of your father's disappointment with Liam's indirection?"

Angel hadn't really thought about Liam for a century, maybe more. "I can't really say. I don't remember his life." Angel paused. "I do know I regret the lives I ruined before I was turned. I do know that if I had a chance I would have done things differently than what I just saw."

The Vampire turned his back to the demon, and eyed the cavern's path. It was too dark to see if it led anywhere at all. "The truth is that after I was turned, Angelus killed them all because of the hatred Liam had for these people, but I don't hate any of them, and this," Angel pointed to his chest, "is Liam's soul."

His guide through Akoshta smiled. He was close to the answer. There would be one more test after this. And if things went well, he would move on to the next part of his journey back on the surface.

"Tell me, Angel, if that is Liam's soul, then why do you fight for good? From the visions I have seen, Liam would sooner take AI's petty cash and go to every pub within walking distance."

Angel thought about it. All of his past flew through him of its own accord this time. It was his mind now going through the devastation, the killing, the hatred, the pain, the loneliness...then calm. People, his friends, his family...his son, his responsibility. "I guess...I grew up somewhere along the way." He snickered at his own words. "A Vampire growing up. That would have to be a first."

The demon shook her head at Angel. "It was not the Vampire that grew up, Angel. Your own words state that."

"Liam?"

The demon nodded. "His soul, the very soul that ruled this body before being turned. You don't remember your human life. You are pure demon, even with a soul, and the demon blocks most of those memories after so many years. Very few are turned with more than negative recollections and some of their host's personality, both of which fade the longer the demon possesses a host."

Angel was becoming confused. Didn't she say earlier that Spike gained humanity? The demon caught Angel's train of thought and explained.

"He is rare. The demon, as I said, has been watched carefully. That is how the Powers knew time was short, and he needed to begin his transition as quickly as possible." She smiled at Angel. "You might like to know, he's not taking any of this news very well."

Angel smiled, then a realization crossed his mind. Here he was learning more about himself, and Spike, than he really wanted to know. What was Spike being told? "What's Spike here to learn?"

Taking a deep breath, she started, "He is here to be encouraged to stay on the path he has just begun, but should have been on for more than half a century."

Angel looked back confused.

"It's a very long story, and I do not wish to explain. I can tell you that your grand-childe would have been there with you in LA when you first saw the Slayer, and he would have fought by your side, and hers, from the first encounter with the Slayer."

"Yeah, right. Whatever you say," Angel shot back.

The demon decided to ignore his reaction and use this line of questions to finish the lesson. "For Spike, his entire life became uncertain because in one moment, he changed everything. All beings do this. You, however, changed-" She was cut off as Angel pieced the clues together.

"After 250 years of moments. All of those things that happened...they're what brought me here."

The tight skinned demon nodded. "All of those moments, all of your past. The death, the hate, all of it." She strode up to him and looked into his face. "This is now your life. Your choices were yours, and now this is where you belong. You have so much to give these people, the people you call family. First, you have to accept it, but not live with it. It is your past. The mark of a man is not who he was, but who he is now."

Angel mulled this over in his mind. Who he is now?

'Ok. Who am I now? I'm Angel...I'm a friend, I'm a father, I'm a warrior for good...yeah, I know this. This couldn't be the answer...no. Too easy.'

"I'm...the result. I'm not Angelus, not Liam. I'm Angel."

A quiet nod was her response. A smile crossed her face. "You have passed."


Chapter End Notes:
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