After only a moment's hesitation, Buffy climbed onto Spike's lap and wrapped her arms around his neck, their lips never losing contact. Spike started stroking her back, hesitating briefly before letting his hand slide under her black top, running his fingers gently over her smooth skin. Half expecting her to object, he was prepared to remove his hand, but, much to his relief, Buffy just let out a soft, accepting moan.
He was happily surprised when she suddenly started tugging, eagerly, on his t-shirt. Pulling it off without a word, he tossed it over his shoulder. Then she reached for the edge of her black top, intending to take it off, but he stopped her by taking her hand and brushed his lips softly against her knuckles. "Let me do that," he whispered with a grin, curling his tongue behind his teeth. Buffy just nodded, her mouth suddenly unable to form words.
Pulling the top gently over her head, Spike let it drop to the floor. Then he glanced briefly at her white, lace bra, but instead of removing it, like she had expected, he cupped her cheek and pulled her in for another tender kiss. "Sure 'bout this, pet?" he mumbled.
Their eyes met, and Buffy suddenly panicked, but not because what they were doing felt wrong. Actually, it was quite the opposite. For some reason, the idea of going all the way with Spike had suddenly seemed like the most natural thing in the world. And that was what really scared her. Neighbors or not, she barely knew Spike, and yet he brought out all these feelings inside her, feelings she had never had before, for anyone. Feelings she just didn't understand. And as far as she was concerned, that could never be a good thing, no matter how right it may feel in the heat of the moment.
Feeling her tense up, Spike immediately pulled back a little, giving her a concerned look. "Buffy?"
Climbing off his lap, Buffy jumped up from the couch and started searching for her lost shirt on the floor, anything so she wouldn't have to look at him, not wanting to see the disappointment in his eyes. "I'm sorry," she mumbled, suddenly beyond embarrassed.
"Don't." Spike let out a sigh. "I didn't mean..." He hesitated, not sure of what to say. It had never been his intention to let things go this far. He was not the kind of guy who would just jump into bed with anybody. But apparently, there was something about Buffy that made his brain stop working. He found his t-shirt and pulled it back on. Glancing at Buffy, he noticed that she was now fully dressed as well. He didn't know whether he should be relieved or disappointed. "Should probably go, s'getting late."
"Spike, wait." Buffy suddenly felt a desperate need to explain. Only problem was, she had no idea how to explain something she didn't understand herself. She swallowed. "It's not you, okay? I just..."
"I'm married." Spike's eyes widened. He had never meant to just blurt it out like that. And judging by the look on Buffy's face, she was just as shocked as he was. He went on before she could say anything; "Okay, that didn't come out the way I intended. Any chance you'll let me explain? I promise, it's not like you think."
"You're... what?" Buffy stared at him in disbelief, her inner struggles completely forgotten. "But..."
"I'm sorry." He sighed. "My marriage may be a bloody joke, but I should've said something sooner. I just didn't want you to think I was using you or anything. I have the divorce papers, I'm just waiting for Dru to sign them." He let out a bitter laugh. "Guess what I'm trying to say is; you don't owe me any explanations."
"Wow." Buffy was quiet for a moment. "How do you expect me to react to this? I mean, it's not like we..." She blushed. "Oh, God! I can't believe we almost..."
"I've never done anything like this before, if that's what you think." He suddenly looked hurt. "It's not like I've ever been unfaithful. In fact, my marriage has been over for a long time. I just..." He shrugged, not knowing exactly what he was trying to say.
Buffy's face softened a little. "Is that why you and Billy came here? Your wife's back in LA?"
"Yeah, but..." Spike hesitated, not sure how much he should reveal. Buffy clearly wanted to know about his past, but how would she react if she found out the truth? Would she ever be able to understand?
"Must be hard for Billy." Buffy got a thoughtful expression on her face. "My parents got divorced when I was a kid. I know what it's like."
"Seriously doubt it." Seeing Buffy's confusion and realizing that she was about to object, Spike went on; "Look, Dru was never..." He let out a tired sigh. "Billy's better off without her. We both are."
Buffy frowned, but didn't say anything. She could tell that Spike was starting to feel uncomfortable, clearly not wanting to have this conversation, but it only made her more curious than ever. That was such a strange thing to say; that a child would be better off without his own mother. And if what Spike said was true; that his marriage had been over for quite some time and he had already gotten the divorce papers, how come the divorce wasn't final? Had his wife refused to sign them? Was she hoping for them to get back together? Buffy had no idea what to think.
Suddenly she felt like her head was spinning. Was this for real? First she had made a complete fool of herself at The Bronze by getting drunk, then she and Spike had made out on her living room couch, and now he had just told her he had a wife. Could this night be any more bizarre? She quickly decided that she didn't want to know the answer to that. Still, for reasons unknown - at least that was what she kept telling herself - she didn't want Spike to leave. Even if they couldn't get romantically involved, they could still be friends, right? And she still wanted to know everything about him.
Spike glanced at Buffy, wishing he knew what she was thinking. She had taken the news about him still being married to Dru better than he had expected, but he still wasn't sure he was ready to tell her the whole story. He was worried about her reaction, but even more so, he was ashamed. Buffy had told him that she didn't think he was a bad father, but he suspected that she would feel differently if she knew what had really happened back in LA. Or to be more accurate; what he had allowed to happen.
The shrill sound of his cell phone snapped him out of his thoughts, and he picked it up from his pocket with a frown. Who could possibly be calling this late? He gave Buffy an apologetic look. "Hello?" Listening for a moment, his eyes widened. "What?!" He listened some more, then let out a groan. "Bloody hell! Sorry. Yeah, I'll be there as soon as I can."
Buffy walked over to him as he cursed loudly and put the phone back down in his pocket. "What's wrong?"
"Gotta go, pet." Spike got up from the couch with a sigh. "Apparently, Billy and the other kid got into a fight. His mother want me to come pick him up."
"Is Billy okay?" Buffy gave him a concerned look.
"Billy's just fine." Spike rolled his eyes. "She said he punched her son in the face. Great! Just what I need right now - more trouble."
"Ouch!" Buffy grimaced. "You better go."
"Yeah." He sighed again. "Guess I'll see you around."
As he headed for the door, Buffy hesitated for a moment before following, putting her hand on his arm to stop him from leaving. "Wait! Um, maybe you and Billy could come over here for dinner some time?"
Spike looked a little surprised, but nodded. "Yeah, sure." He gave Buffy's hand a small squeeze before walking out the door. She remained in the doorway after he had left, a silly smile playing on her lips.
TBC