Author's Chapter Notes:
This usually isn't my cup of tea, if you get my meaning, but I figured I give it a go! Yes, the Battle of the Heart will be updated soon I promise!
One Year Earlier
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Buffy’s hands shook as she yanked her shirt and then her jeans off. Swallowing her terror, she climbed into the shower hoping to wash off the blood on her hands. A half hour later, after scrubbing so hard her skin was red and tingling, she turned off the shower and with trembling hands, tied the sash of her bathrobe. Leaving the bloodstained clothes on the bathroom floor, she walked to the room she shared with Spike, and placed two suitcases on the bed.
As she began to ransack her closet, she ignored the evening gowns he’d given her, the perfumes, the body lotions, his favorite thongs and see-through night gowns she wore for him.
Instead, Buffy packed her favorite jeans she usually wore to classes at UCLA, along with her favorite t-shirts, and green sweater that had been stuffed to the back of the drawer. She found her old Relay for Life t-shirt that was a souvenir from the last time she and her friends had really spent time together.

Tears rolled down Buffy’s cheeks as she thought about how she’d shoved away her old life, just to be apart of Spike’s life. She’d lost so much. ‘But it’s over now’. Buffy thought numbly. Tonight it would be over.

Spike came home exactly fifteen minutes later. Buffy remembered that because she had watched the clock on t he microwave in the kitchen, as she sat at the table with her two suitcases. She heard the door open, but she made no move to get up, but waited for him to come find her.
“Buffy! Buffy!” Spike’s voice sounded through the apartment. She heard his footsteps move in the direction of the bathroom, and then she heard the door of their bedroom open and close. Then his voice rang out sharper, “Buffy, luv where are you?”

She heard his footsteps quicken and grow louder, as he drew closer. She stood up and braced herself, folding her arms across her chest. A moment later, Spike entered the room.

“Buffy! Buf- oh hell there you are, don’t ever scare me like that again, luv!” He relaxed instantly and moved closer to kiss her, frowning when she took a step back from him. “Buffy?” he asked questioningly.

Summoning up all her courage, Buffy spoke quietly. “It’s over, Spike. We’re finished and I’m going home.”

Sighing, Spike ran his hands through his hair and sat down, lighting a cigarette. Buffy remained entirely quiet, while he lit , and then exhaled a puff of smoke. “No you aren’t.” he said with that calm certainty that had been in his voice when he asked her to dance with him the first time he met her, two years back, and then later when he asked her out for the first time.

He had good reason to be certain; he was the temptation that she could never resist, the craving she always had. But this time, Buffy knew he was wrong. “ I don’t belong here anymore, Spike. I’m going home. I can’t live this life anymore, I just can’t…that poor girl today…” Spike jumped to his feet his face a frozen mask of fury. “She’s got nothing to do with us, so don’t you dare bring her into this. Don’t fuckin’ tell me we don’t belong together cause one girl dies! This is your home, this is where you belong; with ME!”

“ Spike, she isn’t the reason, she was a wake up call! A reminder to me of the lie I’m living, and I just can’t do it anymore! Spike either leave the Vampires or I leave.”

Spike remained silent and motionless. Knowing his answer, Buffy grabbed her suitcases and walked to the door, where a cab was parked outside waiting for her. Handing her suitcases to the driver, Buffy went inside to grab her purse which was on the kitchen table. As she turned and walked to the door, Spike stepped in front of her, preventing her from leaving.

His cobalt blue eyes bored into her own green ones, but Buffy recognizing the as one of his intimidation tricks, pushed past him and headed for the door. “Buffy.”
His steel voice stopped her and made her turn around. “Go ahead and go back to your apartment, luv. Go to her funeral if you like, if it’ll help soothe your guilt, yell and be angry for the next couple o’ days. But, you and I both know you can’t live without me, anymore than I can live without you.” He stepped closer and the back of his hand stroked her cheek. She closed her eyes to memorize the familiar gesture, for the last time.

Spike continued, “ You belong in my world, you’ll always comeback to the darkness, kitten, cause it’s in you and you know it. You’ll always belong in the darkness with me…” He then turned and walked quietly away.

Buffy kept her eyes closed until she heard the bedroom door slam. When she opened her eyes, tears fell silently down her face. Buffy opened her purse and removed her key to the apartment and an envelope addressed to Spike and placed them on the small table next to the door. Silently, she walked outside and shut the door behind her. She climbed into the cab, and gave the driver the destination.

As the cab sped off across LA, it began to rain; reflecting Buffy’s inner turmoil. Resting her forehead against the window, Buffy wondered what he would think when he found that she wasn’t going back to her apartment at all. She wasn’t even staying in LA. She was going to a place so remote; she doubted that even Spike would ever find her.

A hour later, seated on a plane, bound for Sunnydale, Buffy took one last look at the LA skyline and whispered, “Goodbye, Spike. Goodbye, my love.” Then she closed her eyes and the tears stopped falling.
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Present Day

Buffy awoke shaking from the dream, a dream she thought she’d forgotten long ago. Breathing deeply, she got out of bed and walked downstairs to the kitchen. “Buffy, sweetie is that you?” Her mother, Joyce turned around from facing the refrigerator to look at her baby, her only daughter.

“Morning Mom. Sleeping Beauty has awaken,” Buffy said in a perky voice, as she grabbed a cup of coffee and sat down at the kitchen table. Joyce smiled as her daughter began to devour a bowl of Cap’n Crunch with her usual gusto.
A soft cry from the baby in her arms, recalled her attention to her original task of getting infant formula out to feed the youngest member of the family. Then the phone rang.

Buffy stood up and took the baby from Joyce saying, “Let me take my beautiful daughter off your hands before she dies of starvation.”
Taking both the formula and baby from her mother, Buffy sat down at the table again and began to feed her baby girl. She allowed her thoughts to wander as her mother chatted with a friend from her art gallery. ‘I wonder what Spike is doing now’ Buffy wondered and then scolded herself to stop thinking about him.

The past year had been hard for her to readjust; she had transferred from UCLA to UC Sunnydale where she planned on finishing her degree in art history and learn to run the gallery owned by her mother. After her move from LA, Buffy had waited tensely for months for any signs of Spike and to her enormous relief, life remained quiet. Spike’s presence or lack of presence in her life however, was made up for by the constant dreams she often had of him.
There were times Buffy missed him desperately and ached to be by his side. She often wondered if all the heartbreak, loss, and anguish was worth it. Looking down into her daughter’s, her precious Dawn’s beautiful cobalt eyes, the exact replica of her father’s, Buffy decided that it was.
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Just outside of LA

The condo was beautiful; the insides were decorated with a simplistic, but elegant touch of creams and blues. The penthouse inside the condo held several rooms that were all sunny and airy, with a breathtaking view of the Pacific Ocean. In essence it was an ideal getaway and many would consider the owner a very lucky man.

But as Spike Aurelius stood looking out the window, however, he wished he were any place else, rather he wished for a certain blonde that was missing from his heart and his arms. The condo that had once been his favorite place to be was now an empty shell of memories. Spike smiled sadly as he recalled the times he’d brought Buffy here. She’d always loved the beach and his Sunshine, as he called her, deserved a place worthy of her radiance.

Every time he’d brought her out here, Buffy had always brought her favorite romantic jazz CDs and played them while she drew or painted her latest work of art. They had watched the sun set and the sun rise, taken walks on the beach and always watched the stars come out.
Spike remembered the last time he lay in bed with her curled up around him after they made love, her hair splashed all over his stomach, making her seem like an angel, an angel he wasn’t worthy of. Buffy had brought warmth, love, and laughter into his life and then she disappeared.

When Spike had awoken the morning after she’d left, he’d tried to call her apartment, only to find the number was no longer in service. Puzzled, he’d called her work only to find her gone. Then he’d found that bloody note and his world had fallen into a shattered mess.





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