Chapter 10:
William shut the front door with a sigh, put the plastic bag full of groceries on the ground near the coat hanger, and started up the stairs.
“I’m here.” Buffy called out from the living room.
She was freshly showered and had a robe on; he could smell her shower gel from where he stood near the stairs—lavender.
“Feeling better?”
“Better than before…” she muttered miserably and leaned her damp haired head down on a sofa pillow, not caring that she was getting it wet. “I think there is nothing left in my stomach to heave up.”
“Ginger ale’s in the bag if you need it.” He nodded over to the ground near the door.
”Thanks…”
He walked closer to her and sat on the edge of the coffee table near the sofa, looking down at her silently. Buffy felt a little bit nervous by the way he was staring at her, she couldn’t read his face expression to see what he was thinking.
When she couldn’t stand his blue eyes centered on her no longer, she had to speak up. “What are you thinking about?”
“Just…some things… just trying to understand this whole thing, and working this out in my head is not going so well.”
‘Great Buffy, you’re giving him a headache. Way to seduce him.’
“I’m sorry...even though you said it before, that sorry isn’t good enough…I just want you to know I am sorry.”
“I know…but why, why’d you do it?”
‘Don’t start with the Angel and Cordy thing…it will just open up a can of worms with the mention of Angel.’ She reminded herself.
“It’s hard to explain…my thoughts are making even ME confused.”
“I’m an English teacher pet, give me a challenge.”
“I just don’t know where to start.”
”Alright…let me help, you said last night you were afraid I was going to leave you…let’s start with that.”
Buffy cringed, ‘Oh no!’ she screamed through her head, ‘Oh god what else did I say?’
“I did?”
“Yes, you did…now why would you think that, because Angel left Cordelia?”
“I guess it started there…” she admitted.
“Love, I told you before and I can keep telling you till your deaf, I’m not like that. You think I’m like him?”
”No, Will…no, you’re not like him and I don’t want you to be like him. He could never compare to you Sp—William.”
Buffy was hoping he didn’t catch her little slip up but she knew he did. She could see it on his face. There was a brief silence; the elephant was most certainly in the room now. However, she wasn’t going to touch the fact of what she said, well, almost said. Buffy would let him make the next move.
“Buffy…what’s going on? Just give it to me straight, I can take it.”
“I’m not sure I can take it when I ask you…”
”Ask me what? Will you quit being cryptic here and tell me something so I can help?”
“Okay…well, did…did I…”
”Did you…?”
‘…Wreck your life?’ the question was on the tip of her tongue.
”Am I not that attractive to you anymore?”
William sat up straight; he blinked a few times and looked around confused, sort of giving her the ‘Are you talking to me?’ look.
“What?” he whispered. Even though he was finding this subject a bit interesting, he made a mental note to remember that Buffy was about to say something else just then—that she wanted to ask him something but chickened out and brought up this concern instead, this crazy concern.
“I mean…my breasts are not perky…my hair is not that shiny anymore…I’m getting wrinkles, I know I am…I have stretch marks…”
“Love, I don’t notice any of those things.”
“…oh…” she felt a bit stupid at the moment, he now knew all her flaws, ones that he never noticed before, and gave him a direct map on where to find them the next time he looked at her.
“Buffy, why would you think I’m repulsed by you? Was it because the other day when you wanted to have sex and we didn’t?”
“Well…you didn’t want me…” she pointed out.
“Love,—“
”I could remember a time when we didn’t need words, all I had to do was give you a look and you’d know…I didn’t need to tell you that I wanted you and we just did it! Everywhere…anywhere…didn’t matter the time of day.”
William looked down at his hands, “So this problem, it’s about the lack of sex we have in our life?”
She felt bad, real bad. “No…”
“Is it the performance?”
”What?! No…just-just…oh god!” she put her hands over face and groaned, “What the hell is wrong with me?! I’m saying everything wrong!”
“Buffy?”
“Yes?” her voice was muffled due to her hands being on top of her mouth.
“Is the thrill gone for you?”
She removed her hands quick, “William I love you, don’t be rid—“
”Tell me what you want and I’ll do it.” He whispered
Buffy opened her mouth, “Will, this is my fault, it’s not you…it’s something stupid—“
“I want to know what you want from me, Buffy? Is it the kitchen table?” he started.
“How about the car?” he challenged next.
When her eyes widen at the mention of the car, William started to smile. He knew they had to discuss things more, that there were other issues to address. But at the moment, he wanted to fix this problem.
“How about outside…?” he went on, “Someone could just walk by anytime, pretty gutsy don’t you think?” He tilted his head as he continued to watch her looking at him with lustful eyes.
Buffy’s chest started to rise rapidly up and down under her rob with excitement, she liked this game. ‘There’s my boy…did I hear a little bit of Spike in there, cocky Spike.’
“I don’t give a damn if they watch.” She said as she yanked him off the coffee table and brought him on top of her for a kiss.
When they broke apart he whispered in her ear, “All you had to do was ask.”
“I didn’t want to offend you…this department is sort your expertise.”
“True…but looks like I’m falling asleep on the job…seems I’m getting cocky. But hey, I like the challenge. What else do you want?”
“I want you now…”
“Want what?”
”You know…”she wrapped her arms around his neck to pull him closer but he resisted.
”Talk dirty love, your voice is too sweet to waste being silent.”
”I…I-I want you to have sex with me.” ‘God, do I sound pathetic’ she thought when she heard what she said.
He shook his head and lifted himself on his knees so he could use both hands to untie her knot in her rob. “Noooo….try again.”
Buffy thought back to what Anya said last month in the coffee shop, ‘But you know, one way to stop being boring is being able to talk about sex casually.’
She gulped and tried, “Fuck me?”
”Add some more nouns and adjectives love and I’ll give it to you.” He pushed aside the silk fabric so he could see her stomach, breasts, and nether regions. “Your breasts are perfect love, don’t know what you were talking about before…” he said as he stared at them.
“Not too…silly putty?”
”Hush…now, I believe you were about to ask me something.”
“Will, I’m not good at this.”
”Then I’ll help you, repeat after me… ‘I want you…’”
“I want you.”
” ‘..to ravish me on this couch…’”
”…to ravish me on this couch...” She smiled.
“‘…until I’m screaming your name and biting my lip till it bleeds...’”
“Ya….” She nodded, memorized.
He smirked, “Repeat love…”
”…until I’m screaming your name and biting my lip till it bleeds.”
” ‘Then—‘”
”Then I want to suck your cock until your knees buckle and your eyes roll up.” She didn’t need his help anymore; it was coming a bit easier now. A lot easier.
William started breathing heavily when she was making things up on her own. God, it had been so long since they talked dirty to one another, that he forgotten how much fun it could be. He slipped his hand between her thighs and watched her face drift into what looked like a dream of pleasure.
“Will…” she moaned.
“Ya pet?” he moved forward so he was hovering over her once again.
”I love you…”
”I love you too…” he kept his hand moving while he used the other to brace himself up on the couch.
“Will you love me when they turn into silly putty one day?”
He laughed, “I’ll love them no matter what…I think they could use a bit of ice cream about now…or whip cream…”
”Mmmm…. yes!” she hissed and dug her nails into his shoulder blades, “Spike?”
He met her eyes and smiled, “Yes?”
Buffy just noticed her slip up once again. When she looked back at him to see how he reacted she was surprised to see his smile, she smiled back. They didn’t say anything else after that. Well, besides the little nasty’s they were about to whisper.
TBC…