Chapter 13:
To put it mildly, the kitchen was a mini disaster area. Chairs were toppled over, the table was out of its original position, and cups, plates, and the mail for the day was spread out in the middle of the floor. A hurricane called ‘Passion’ seemed to done its toll on the Pratt household.
“We….have…to…stop…ending…up…on…the…floor…” Buffy gasped out as she looked over at her husband that was trying to catch his breath too.
“Why’s…that…?” he breathed out, his gasped seemed to be in sync with Buffy’s.
“Don’t want…your back …to get worse.” Buffy explained after taking a bunch of deep breaths.
Spike chuckled, “Then why don’t you cut your nails too love? Cause’ those scratch marks will be there for a good honest week.”
“Mmmmm… you like those scratches…they’re like medals to you…”
Spike smirked as he looked over at his naked wife…well not completely naked—she was wearing his leather coat. He almost let out a chuckle when he recalled how it was shed from his body and placed on hers.
“You look a little winded love…sure it’s not you that is experiencing the backaches?”
Buffy turned her head to look over at him; her face expression showed she looked insulted, “Hey! I have the energy of a…of a…”
“A rabbit?”
The blonde moved to crawl over Spike so she was straddling his hips, “Is that what you want? A rabbit?”
“No…I much rather have you” He said as his eyes shined over Buffy’s breasts poking out of his old coat.
“Do you like how it looks on me?” Buffy asked with a smile when she caught him staring.
“You were born to wear that coat…”
“Only born to wear it when we’re having sex right?” she asked, “After that it goes back to the Big Bad?”
“Well, it is my trademark…” he shrugged.
“Along with the hair…” Buffy pointed out as she reached forward and ran her fingers through his messy locks, “So that’s what you were doing in the bathroom…burning your brain with bleach.”
“You complaining?”
“No…” she said as she smoothed it back, “And yes…”
“Yes?” he raised a brow at her.
“Why’d you do it?” she asked, “Please don’t tell me you think I love you more with your hair like this…”
Spike shook his head and reached up to run his own fingers through her hair.
“It’s this whole…Spike/William thing isn’t it?” she guessed.
“Got me thinking love…”
“William…” she sighed and was about to go on rant, however Spike reached up quickly and placed his finger over her lips to shush her.
“When you admitted that Spike and William weren’t the same I thought you were bonkers…until I stepped back and really looked at myself.”
Buffy shook her head and pushed his finger off her lips, “You don’t understand…really, you don’t…”
“I think I do love…you miss the spark…”
“But not in the way you think…” she whispered and then looked down at his bare chest, she couldn’t say what she needed to say with him looking at her. “Honey…I lied to you…I lied about how I really felt about Angel and Cordy’s separation…”
“You lied? So you are bored with me?” he guessed.
“What?!” Buffy’s eyes widened, “No…no, no, no, no….”
“Love I’m not—“
“YOU…I was afraid YOU were the bored one…not me, you.”
“Me?!” he laughed, “Me…?”
Spike sat up and grabbed her hip under the coat with one hand and used the other to stroke her thigh.
“Love, this is me…Slave to Buffy…Helplessly in Love with Buffy…” he said as he rubbed her hip.
“I don’t want you to be a slave to me…” she pouted and reached out to play with his silver chain around his neck.
He chuckled, “You make it sound like it’s a bad thing.”
“It can be when I’m keeping you from what you really love to do…”
“And what’s that?”
Buffy paused, set his necklace down back on his body, and looked into his eyes, “Your music…”
“My music?”
“Stop repeating everything I say…yes, your music.”
“What does my music have to do with anything?” he asked.
“It has to do with everything, Spike.”
After moments pause, Buffy still saw that he wasn’t following.
“Do I need to go upstairs and get the box to refresh your memory?”
"What box?"
“The box full of notebooks that have all your songs, your first album, and all your guitar picks…ringing any bells yet?”
“I remember, pet” he said, “But I don’t know what that has to do with me being bored.”
“Don’t you see, don’t you get it? I’m your roadblock…I’m your party pooper…” she whimpered, “I’m your dream crusher.”
Spike sat on the cold kitchen tile floor and stared into space while Buffy got up from his lap and ran off in tears. As soon as he snapped out of his daze he heard the door to their bedroom shut.
*~*~*~*~*~*~
The bedroom door creaked open as Spike entered. The sun had gone down an hour ago and all he could see through the darkness was the outline of Buffy lying on their bed, facing away from him.
Spike quietly moved across the carpet and climbed onto the bed, scooting up right behind his wife. As soon as Buffy felt his presence she turned around to see him looking down at her.
“Is that what you think of yourself?” he asked her gently, “My roadblock?”
“I—I am…” she sobbed out “Don’t you remember?”
“Remember what?”
“I told you to choose between me and your music….”
“I also remember that you were pregnant love…hormone crazy…”
“But—but you still quit… you quit something that you loved…”
“I quit, yes. But I didn’t give it up for nothing…I’m still around something I love, something I love a whole lot more than music…and if you haven’t figured it out love, that would be you; you and the kids.” He said as he moved a few strands of hair out of her face so he could still see her shiny eyes.
“But you shouldn’t have HAD to do that though—make a choice.”
“Your right, I didn’t have to…I could have went on with my music, traveled from city to city, lived out of a suitcase and stayed in cheap motels, and ate out of vending machines…lived a lonely life on the road…” Spike then gave her a look, a look telling her that he didn’t find any of that appealing at all.
“But—but you loved the band…"
“Ya, I love them…they’re my friends, they always will be. But I got to tell you love, I still love you more. I still love seeing Matty score his goals every Saturday and Sarah be Ms. Twinkle Toes in her dance class.”
“So, so you’re—you’re okay with not having music in your life?”
“I admit that I miss it from time to time, but like I said, I have more important things in my life that still make me love the life I picked. I wouldn’t trade what I got here for anything in the world.”
“And you’re not bored?” Buffy bit her lip.
Spike chuckled, “Bored? Did you catch the show downstairs?”
Buffy smiled and wrapped her arms around his neck, “I was there…”
“I was there too...along with my sidekick, William…”
“Mmmm…William…” she leaned up and kissed him.
“He still turn you on…that brown haired bookish teacher?” he teased.
Buffy smiled and nodded.
“You just want the best of both worlds don’t you Mrs. Pratt?”
“Well, can’t I have both of them at the same time?” she whispered as started to nibble on his ear.
“I’m sure that can be arranged.”
TBC…