Spike wasn’t exactly sure why, but when he had laid down the previous night to go to sleep he felt sadness and guilt rise up in him over his conquest for Buffy, and the more he thought about it, the harder it was to shake it. As he sat in class he thought about how he thought it would make things easier on both of them if he could just avoid telling her about Riley’s secret and getting her to like him instead, but he knew it wasn’t really right. He felt as if he was manipulating her somehow.
Why was he doing his best to attach himself to her when he knew what type of person she was and what she would do if questioned about him?
She would never allow herself to be seen with him. Her friends wouldn’t allow it.
x X x X x
That Friday in school the students in the halls were in a frenzy. Not only was the Spring Formal tonight but it also marked the beginning of a two-week spring break.
Buffy was finding it hard to get into her usual giddy mood because every time she thought about the dance she thought of Willow. The other night when she and Willow had talked for a few minutes about the dance she had felt something for the girl. Hearing that she wasn’t going to be able to go to the dance because she simply couldn’t afford it nearly broke her heart. It was the last dance before the prom, and then that was it.
Buffy closed her locker after a few moments of thinking and walked over to the water fountain where Willow was standing, presumably waiting for Xander.
“Willow, hi!” Buffy said with a smile.
“Oh, uh hi, Buffy…” she said looking around for a moment, half wondering why Buffy would approach her in public.
“Um, you know I was thinking and I have like ten dresses from dances before that I’ve only worn like once and will probably never wear again,” she started to talk like she was rambling. “My point is, I want you to come over and pick one out, so you and Xander can go to the dance tonight.”
Willows eyes lit up and for a moment she thought she had started day dreaming. “Really? Oh my gosh, are you sure?”
Buffy smiled, happy to see the redhead’s excitement. “Yeah.”
“Wow, thank you,” Willow said with a warm smile. “When should I come over?”
“You can come right over after school if you want.”
“What’s going on here?” Cordelia’s shrill voice sounded in. “Buffy why are you talking to her?” she said not even trying to hide her disgust.
Buffy’s face turned red and she immediately felt guilty because she knew Willow was standing right there yet she didn’t want to speak the truth. No matter what Willow would be the one to get the thrashing.
“Um,” Willow piped up. “Buffy was told to get help on her French homework so she was asking me. I am a big French nerd after all. I was just giving her a few quick pointers.”
Cordelia looked back and forth between the two of them and Buffy simply nodded. “Whatever,” Cordy scoffed. “Come on, Buffy, the guys are waiting.”
Cordy walked away first and Buffy gave Willow an embarrassed smile and mouthed the words ‘thank you.’
Willow smiled. “See you after school?”
“Yep.”
Willows smile grew as the two girls turned and went their separate ways down the hallway.
When Buffy approached her usual crowd of friends they all stared at her like she was the enemy.
“What?” she asked with obvious irritation.
“You really like chit-chatting with the losers these days, huh Buf?” Cordelia said with her arms crossed and a tilt of her head.
“Cordy, she’s helping me with a project. I don’t really have a choice. Why do you care so much who I’m talking to anyway?”
“It makes us look bad.”
“And it’s not just her, Buffy.” Riley chimed in. “I’ve caught you talking to that bleached freak TWICE.”
Buffy shook her head and looked down at her feet, fidgeting slightly under all of their stares.
“What is with you, Buffy? You were never like this before…”
“I told you before. I didn’t want to talk to them. Spike, he’s my neighbor. He feels the need to be friendly. And Willow, is doing a project for me! Why is that a big deal?”
They were a bit taken back by her sudden outburst.
“Chill, Buffy. We were just saying… It’s starting to look a little weird.
“Well it’s nothing, so drop it,” she said with a pointed look at Riley. He looked away with a shake of his head.
The bell rang sounding students to hurry to their afternoon classes. Angel and Cordy walked off with each other and Riley turned to Buffy.
“Look, I don’t want there to be a bunch of tension the day of the dance. So let’s just go back to normal alright?” he said as he rubbed her arms and looked into her angry eyes.
Spike was rounding the corner on his way to class when he saw Buffy. Just as his eyes settled on her Riley bent down and gave Buffy a deep kiss.
Spike clenched his jaw and had to remind himself repeatedly that the poof was her boyfriend and it took all his might not to run over to him and knock all of his teeth out. Instead he reminded himself of their situation with one another, which only succeeded in making him more upset, and he quietly slipped off to class.
Buffy wanted to puke when Riley kissed her. There was once a time when that very kiss would have made her knees go weak, but now it felt sloppy and not quite as heartfelt. It was then that her heart sank, when she realized it was because of Spike that she didn’t enjoy her boyfriends company anymore.
When the kiss broke Buffy couldn’t look at him, the guilt was too strong.
“I’ll see you later, okay?” he said as he rubbed her arms again. She simply nodded and without another word they went their separate ways down the hall.
x X x X x X x
When class let out school became a mad zone. Nearly every student scrambled to get to their lockers and dump off all of their stuff before getting ready to go to the dance tonight. Buffy hadn’t really been in a rush until she remembered Willow was going to be stopping by. She would prefer if Riley was gone by the time Willow got there, simply so she wouldn’t have to go through what she had already gone through this morning.
“Riley, come on! I need lots of time to get ready!” she whined as she tugged on Riley’s arm. When he wouldn’t stop talking to Angel she whined again. “Rileeeeeeeey…”
“Alright, alright, we’re going,” he said to Buffy. “Okay, see you later, man,” he said as he patted his friend on the back.
“It’s about time,” Buffy grumbled as they turned to walk away. “I’m barely gonna have enough time to do my hair…”
Lies…
“I’m sorry, babe but we had to clear up who was driving tonight.”
Buffy made a face as they walked through the double doors leading to the parking lot. “Riley you have a two-seater truck. Angel has to drive…”
“Well, yeah, I know. I wasn’t thinking when I asked, though.”
Uh… duh, Ry.
They hopped into the truck and made their way out of the parking lot towards Buffy’s house, and most of the ride was made in a sort of awkward silence.
“So how long are you going to be in L.A.?” Buffy asked, knowing full well that he would be there until the night before school started up again in a few weeks.
“I’ll be back the night before school starts again. Why?”
“I can’t ask when my boyfriend’s going to be back?”
“You know I do this every year…” he said looking at her with an eyebrow raised.
“Well you’re all going away this year. I’m the only one that’s gonna be stuck in Sunnydale for Spring Break.”
To tell the truth, Buffy couldn’t care less that her friends and boyfriend we’re gonna be gone for two whole weeks. She was actually looking forward to it. It would be a nice break from all the scrutiny.
“It’ll go by fast. Don’t worry about it.”
When they arrived Riley shut off the engine and undid his buckle.
The one time I don’t want him to stay and now he finally decides to…
“What are you doing?” she asked nervously.
“Going inside with you,” he said matter-of-factly.
“You can’t,” she said as she put a hand on him, keeping him still in his seat. “I need to start getting ready and I can’t if you’re here ‘cause you can’t see me in my stuff.”
“Buffy it’s a school dance, not a wedding,” he said trying to get out.
“But it’s no fun for me if you see me. Please? I really want it to be a surprise.”
Riley looked over Buffy’s shoulder and noticed the red headed girl walking toward Buffy’s house. “You sure you don’t want me to leave because of her?”
Buffy turned to see who he was looking at and when she saw, her face reddened a bit. “She’s only picking up a book she needs for the project. She’s not staying.”
He sighed and shook his head. “Fine, I’ll go.”
Buffy let out a breath of relief and reluctantly leaned forward to kiss him on the cheek. “I’ll see you later,” she said as she hopped out of the truck.
“Yeah,” was all he said as he started the truck back up and began backing out of the driveway, leaving her standing there without a goodbye.
Buffy couldn’t hide her disappointment. She was so hurt by that little action, it took all she had not to start crying. Had Willow not been approaching she probably would have, but she managed to compose herself and turn toward her with a smile on her face.
“Hey!”
“Hi,” Willow said nervously. “You know you don’t have to do this. I-I can just go home if you want…”
“Wil, do you want to go to the dance?”
“Yes,” she nodded.
Buffy warmed her with a smile. “Then come on in.”
x X x X x X x
“Willow come out! I wanna see how it looks on you!”
Willow and Buffy had gone through all of Buffy’s old dresses and Willow picked out a green dress that had criss-cross straps on the back. The bottom half fell closely along her legs in a sleek and slimming manner and had a slit that came half-way up her thigh. Willow was a little afraid when she first looked at it, but after a little cooing on Buffy’s part she finally agreed to try it on.
Willow opened the bathroom door and stepped out, nervously smoothing the dress down her abdomen and legs. Buffy’s jaw dropped open. “Willow, you’re a babe!”
“Willow’s face flushed and she fidgeted with her hands. “You look way better.”
Buffy was wearing a pink dress that hung off the shoulder and swooped down just enough to show the bridge of her cleavage. It was tight on her abdomen but slightly puffed out around her legs. The dress shimmered slightly when she stepped into the light.
“Wil, you need to be more confident. You know how many dates you could get if you would just put yourself out there more?”
Willows eyes went wide and she began frantically shaking her head.
Buffy laughed. “Come on,” Buffy said waving her toward herself. “Let me do your hair.”
The red head shuffled over to where Buffy was standing and sat on the vanity seat on front of her. “I feel like we’re playing dress-up,” she said as Buffy began curling her hair into elegant twists.
Buffy smiled. “I kinda do too. Since I moved here years ago the only girlfriend I’ve ever had is Cordelia, and she never wants to do fun stuff like this. She always has to go to a hairdresser and no one can see her dress until she’s absolutely ready…” Buffy sighed. “She’s no fun when it comes to this stuff.”
“Do you… I mean, if, you know, you still aren’t sick of me… would you want to do this again for prom?” Willow was nervous to hear the answer. There was still almost two months before prom, and Buffy could easily get sick of her in that time. She was setting herself up for a fall.
Buffy smiled to herself as she clipped a few crystal bobby pins in her hair.
“Yeah, Wil. I would.”
x X x X x X x
When Buffy finished Willow’s hair they made sure each other looked good and then Willow made her way across the street to Spikes house.
“Red, wha-“ he looked around while holding the front door open. “What are you doin’ ‘ere… what happened to you?”
“Willow smiled and stepped inside the house, closing the door behind her. “Xander’s picking me up here.”
“Not that I mind, but why here and not at your place?” the black-clad bleached man asked.
“I was at Buffy’s,” she said with a smile, knowing this would attract his attention fast.
“Buffy helped you?” he asked with a surprised tone.
Willow nodded. “I wasn’t going to go to the dance because I couldn’t afford a dress, but before school this morning Buffy came up to me and asked me to come pick one out of her collection ‘cause she has a lot. I went over there after school and we got ready together and she did my hair and now I get to go to the dance,” she said giddily.
Spike wasn’t sure why he felt what he did, but it actually warmed his heart to hear that the Buffy he knew was willingly helping his friends out, and he couldn’t help but feel that it was partly his influence on her.
“She’s a good catch,” Willow suddenly said.
“What?”
“It’s obvious that you like each other, but the problem is, she doesn’t want to be unfaithful. She’s not that person.”
“I know, but…” he let out a sound of frustration. “She’s being cheated on. I saw him…”
Willows smile disappeared and her face grew worrisome and serious. “What? When? How long have you known this? And… are you sure?”
Spike sat down in a chair across from where she was sitting on the edge of the couch. “That night you and Harris first took me to the Bronze.”
“But that was weeks ago! What… How do you know?”
“I was walking over to the bathroom and he was in that really dark corner makin’ out with a brunette.” He shook his head. “I haven’t got the heart to tell her.”
Willow felt conflicted. That was something she should know about. But at the same time, it was really none of their business what went on in her relationship with Riley. Either way, she didn’t want to see her new friend hurt.
“I can’t be responsible for breaking her heart,” he said, still shaking his head to himself.
“Whether she finds out through you or not, it’s Riley who will be breaking her heart. Not you…”
Before Spike could get another word out there was a knock on the door. He got up and opened the door for Xander who was standing there in his suit with a small box which presumably held a corsage.
Willow decided to put the somber news in the back of her head for now, and enjoy the night Buffy had made possible for her. She stood and greeted her friend with a smile. Xander was speechless at the sight of her.
“What do you think?” she asked spinning in a circle to show off her dress.
“Who are you and what have you done with Willow?” Xander joked. “Wil, you look awesome!”
“Buffy helped me!” she said excitedly.
The conversation between Willow and Xander fell to the background as Spike looked out the window in time to see Buffy walk out of her house toward her friends who were in her driveway, standing next to Angels freshly washed convertible waiting for her.
She was gorgeous. All dressed up and bouncing around with excitement. That was the way he wished she would look when she was with him.
Spike was smiling to himself as he watched her, until Captain Cardboard stepped into view and wrapped his meaty paws around Buffy’s perfect waist.
“You made a huge fuss over this?” Riley asked as he wrapped his arms around Buffy’s waist and looked her up and down. “I figured it would be better than this with all the hurrying you made me do to get out of your driveway.”
Buffy just stood there, speechless.
Is this really happening right now? This is my boyfriend?
Spike had to really fight the urge to run across the street and rip him a new one just at the look on Buffy’s face at whatever the poof had just said.
“We’re leaving,” Willow said breaking Spikes colorful and violent train of thought.
“Do you need me to drive you?” he asked, actually grateful for a change of thought.
“Could you?” Willow perked up. She wasn’t looking forward to walking five blocks in high heels.
“Yeh, ‘s no problem,” Spike said grabbing his keys. As they walked outside to Spikes camaro, Buffy managed to steal a glance their way. Spike smiled at her and gave her a wink that almost made Buffy’s knees completely give out, then he pointed at Willow and gave Buffy a thumbs up.
Buffy blushed and looked down for a moment before giving him a little nod and turning back to her group of friends, just in time for her mom to start snapping pictures.
Riley saw the bleached man get into his car, and he also noticed the way they smiled at each other. He was furious, but decided to put it aside for the time being. He knew how to make the other guy back off of his woman, and he planned on setting it forth as soon as the time was right.
x X x X x X x
The dance had been a complete bore for Buffy. She had already spent more time sitting alone at their table while Riley was off doing god-knows-what and Cordy and Angel danced together. She knew it would be like this. Every dance was always like this, but every time she would get up and find Riley long enough to dance with him she found herself getting frustrated and disappointed. He was a horrible dancer.
Spike was an amazing dancer.
Every time she would get up and dance with Riley her mind would go back to the night she and Spike danced together at the Bronze. The sensations he awoke inside of her that night… the spark that lingered every time the two of them were in a room together. She hadn’t felt that spark with Riley since the day she met Spike, and as much as that kind of bothered and scared her, it also excited her.
So there she sat, at the table by herself, trying not to think about Spike. As a result she actually ended up thinking about nothing BUT Spike… and avoided dancing with her boyfriend for the rest of the night so that maybe she wouldn’t be reminded of how much she wasn’t attracted to him anymore.
“Buffy, lets go! Last dance!” he bellowed from the dance floor.
God, he’s embarrassing…
She reluctantly got up and went over to him, for the sake of him embarrassing her more. She simply put her arms around his neck and rested her head on his chest and just moved slowly to the beat.
She had never slow-danced with Spike before, and still she was fairly certain he was a much better slow dancer than Riley as well. He probably wouldn’t step on her feet as much.
As they continued to move slowly to the last song of the night Buffy made a quick decision. She wouldn’t go out with her friends tonight. Usually It was tradition for them to all go grab a bite to eat and hang out before Angel, Cordy, and Riley went off on their Spring Break trips. Buffy didn’t want to do that tonight. She needed a break.
x X x X x X x
“You know, you guys, I don’t feel good. I think I wanna go home and sleep it off.”
“What?!?” Cordelia screeched as she turned around in her seat to look at her. “Buffy, you are becoming such an anti-social. Are you pregnant or something?”
“What?! No, Cordy. I just don’t feel good. Why do you guys question me every time I don’t feel good?”
“Because, you’ve been acting so weird for like a month now. It’s like you’re becoming a different person,” she said looking her up and down and turning back around in her seat with a huff.
“Yeah well maybe that’s a good thing,” she mumbled to herself but still loud enough for everyone to heard.
Despite Buffy’s final comment the entire car ride home was silent.
“I’ll catch up with you guys later,” Riley said to Angel.
As soon as he and Buffy got out of the car Angel pulled away and Buffy started to walk toward her house. When she could feel Riley following her in she stopped and turned toward him. “Riley, you should go meet up with them now. Like I said, I’m tired.”
He stood there a blinked a few times, dumbfounded and speechless. “Are you serious? Buffy, I’ve barely seen you all night!”
“Yeah? Well who’s fault is that?” she snapped.
“You’re gonna try and turn this around on me?”
“Turn what around? It doesn’t need to be turned, it’s already there! You were off with your friends for like eighty percent of that dance! You always do that!”
“Yeah so why are you freaking out about it now when you never did before?”
“Because I’m sick and tired of it, Riley! Angel and Cordy are always together and you see how happy they are? But we can’t have that because you’re constantly leaving me alone or making excuses not to see me and I’m sick of it! I want someone who wants me back… and I’m not talking sexually! I mean someone who actually wants to spend time with me!”
She thought she had been pissed off and disappointed before, but what added the icing on the cake was the way that he just stood there and didn’t even try to argue or tell her he doesn’t just keep her around for the sex. It made her feel like everything she had just said was even more true than she had suspected.
“You know what, Riley? I think we should take a break,” she said with pure seriousness on her face.
Oh my god, I’m actually doing this…
Riley remained speechless, avoiding eye contact with her, looking over her shoulder with a pissed off look on his face. “Buffy, I…”
“Riley, I’m sorry. I just think we need a little time away from each other to sort all of this bullshit out. We’ll take a break while you’re on vacation with your family, and we’ll talk things over more clearly when you get home in two weeks. But for now…”
“Yeah. We’re not together. I got it.”
Hearing the words out loud made Buffy feel a little guilty, but it needed to be done. She needed her time to sort things out, and he obviously needed time to himself to contemplate everything she just said.
“Well, like I said, I don’t feel good and I’m tired, so…”
“I’ll leave you alone,” he said as he shoved his hands in his pockets and backed toward where his truck was parked in the street.
Buffy could feel her chest tightening up but she refused to cry. She wasn’t wrong to do what she did. He was always off with other people instead of being with her. He would show up and be sweet with her when he was horny because he knew he could get what he wanted from her. He wasn’t compassionate on a regular basis, and she needed more from him.
As he pulled away she turned and walked into her house, quietly so as not to wake her mother. She trudged up into her room and grabbed a change of clothes, then turned right around and walked back downstairs and out the front door.
x X x X x X x
Spike was sitting at his computer desk with his headphones on listening to music. He had gotten so bored tonight that he actually wished he would have gone to the bloody dance. At least he would have gotten some free food.
It was one of the first nights in a while where Willow and Xander hadn’t been there for him to talk to or hang out with. And Buffy hadn’t really been around a whole lot lately. It was nights like tonight that made him miss England.
He sighed and took his headphones off, shut the monitor off and turned the chair to get up. Immediately he froze. She was standing there in the doorway of his bedroom. “Buffy…”
“Don’t say anything. Just… kiss me.”
TBC