Chapter 20

The thick silence swarmed about the room, tucking itself in every nook and cranny, curling around each and every person like a sly cat seeking affection. Buffy now sat at the bedside, while Spike lay unconscious. Human. He’s human. Her head was spinning. She couldn’t figure out how this happened, why it happened, or how she was able to touch him when Willow, a powerful witch, was tossed across the room by the force. It had to be the amulet, which remained on the floor, everyone wary as they stepped around it, trying not to disturb the air around it, in case it decided to start glowing again.

“I don’t understand,” Giles said, wiping off his glasses and breaking the silence. He looked over at Willow. “What was the spell?”

“You can read it for yourself. Here.” She handed him the book, eyeing him eagerly as he read. Shaking his head, he handed the book back to her. “It had to be the amulet.”

“The amulet made him human,” Buffy said quietly. “First it kills him, then it brings him back. Then it makes him human.” She looked at Willow. Willow sat down next to her. “Is the prophecy…”

“It should be,” Willow nodded. “But I guess we won’t know for sure until the babies are born. There’ll either be a mass slaughter of de-powered Slayers, or, well, things will stay the same.” Buffy nodded.

“I don’t know how to thank you for…for everything, Wil.” Willow sighed heavily and swallowed the lump in her throat.

“I didn’t think I was gonna get it right. I mean, messing with the forces like that? The last time I did a major spell, all the potentials turned into Slayer. Obviously, that was of the good.”

“So was this,” Fred remarked. “Buffy’s back, and Spike…” She noticed the tension in Angel’s face, and her words trailed off.

“Spike’s human,” Wesley said, as if realizing it for the first time.

“I don’t even know what that means anymore,” Buffy admitted. “Human. I used to think of humans as the good guys with souls, and vampires the bad guys who were target practice. Then there was Angel.” She glanced at him with a fond smile. “That pretty much threw everything out of whack. Then, of course, I realized he was the only vampire with a soul.”

“Until Spike,” Giles replied.

“Yeah,” Buffy replied, placing her hand over his. God, it was so warm. He was so warm. She’d always wondered what he would feel like. She’d grown accustomed to the cool skin, but seeing the color turning his pale flesh a natural color made her wonder what it would feel like to feel his head, to feel their heat…Don’t think about that now. Way inappropriate.

A knock came to the door, and Fred moved to answer it. When she opened the door, Harmony stood there. She smiled sheepishly.

“Uh, boss?” Angel looked over in annoyance.

“What is it, Harmony?”

“You have a meeting in five minutes?”

“Cancel it.”

“They’re already here, and they’re…well, they don’t look happy.” Angel grimaced.

“Go on,” Gunn said. “We’ll stay here.”

“Actually,” Buffy spoke up, “I’d like to be alone with him.”

“Buffy, we don’t know what’s going to happen when he wakes up,” Giles pointed out.

“The repercussions of this change may be too much for him to handle right now,” Wesley agreed.

“It’s alright. I can take care of myself. He won’t hurt me.”

“If you need anything, we’ll be right outside,” Giles said sternly. He still obviously wasn’t too keen on the idea of Spike and Buffy being together, but it was what his Slayer wanted, and she’d been around long enough to be a pretty decent judge of character. Still, when it came to Spike, even as a human, he didn’t want to take any chances.

As everyone filed out of the room, Willow moved over to give Buffy a gentle hug.

“Thanks for being here, Wil,” Buffy whispered. I know you don’t think Spike’s good enough for me.

“Hey, what are best friends for?” Willow gave her a tired smile and left the room, leaving Buffy and an unconscious Spike in complete silence.

***

“Where are you?” Robin asked over the phone, as Faith made her way through LAX.

“I’m at the airport. Why?”

“Um, well, maybe it would be because you just took off in the middle of the night and didn’t even leave a note.”

“What? I left a note. Check under the bed. Maybe it blew off.” There was a pause on the other line, and then she could hear the crinkling of paper.

“’Had to go. Don’t know when I’ll be back. F.’ That’s it? That’s all I get?”

“What did you expect from me?”

“After all these months? Oh, I don’t know, maybe a goodbye in person?”

“Robin…”

“No, Faith, I have something to say here, so let me say it.” When he didn’t get an immediate response, he continued. “You’re so afraid of getting hurt that you put up this wall around yourself to keep others out. I thought I’d broken through it, but I guess I was wrong. I thought maybe you could stop and realize that there’s more in life than slaying.”

“And what are we doing, exactly? Recruiting an army of purring kittens? You knew what you were getting into when you signed up for it, Principal Wood.”

“I’m not talking about the army, Faith. I’m talking about you.”

“Look, you know me. I’m no good with relationships. You’re lucky I stuck around as long as…”

“You’re not fooling me, Faith. I know you’re scared, because this is new for you. And you picked the middle of the night to…”

“Buffy needs me,” Faith replied. “I have to go and see what I can do to help.”

“What makes you think you can help the situation any?”

“Maybe I can’t, but I can try. Look, I owe her that, alright?” After a few moments, Robin sighed.

“Just tell me this isn’t about the baby.” Faith closed her eyes as she boarded the plane.

“I have to go, Robin.” She hung up and stuck her phone in her carry on back. She couldn’t deny the fact that there were tears in her eyes, but she sure as hell was going to stop them from falling.

***

Buffy yawned as she sat next to the bed. She’d been sleeping for hours, so why was she tired? She looked down at her large belly. Oh. That would be why. Sighing softly, she pulled herself into the bed next to Spike, tucking herself under his arm, placing her hand against his chest. Feeling his heart beating there was magical. She smiled, closing her eyes, laying her head against his chest. She could hear it. It was so amazing. She felt so warm in his arms. Was it possible to love him anymore than she already did? She had grown to love the man Spike had become as a vampire, but now, that part of him was gone, wasn’t it? He wasn’t still a vampire, was he? Was it possible to be a vampire and have a heartbeat?

He was going to wake up soon. She could feel the muscles in his arms beginning to flex a little. He was going to wake up, and they were going to be together. Will he still love me? It would be an adjustment. I’ll have to protect him, for once. He’s going to grow old with me.” She couldn’t picture Spike as an old man. He’d been immortal and young for so many years. Was it going to catch up to him fast, or was he going to age like her? She hoped for the latter. She wanted as much time as possible with him. Maybe it wouldn’t work out. Maybe it would. But she wasn’t going to let him go without fighting for this. Maybe it started out a little twisted, but it caught them both by surprise, shocked and scared the hell out of them, when they’d fallen in love.

“Buffy?” Buffy looked up to see his lips pursed slightly, his forehead wrinkling as he raised his hand to rub his aching head.

“I’m here,” she whispered, adjusting herself to sit up and look at him.

“What happened?” He opened his eyes, blinking to adjust.

“You had…a jolt,” she said softly, smiling and curling her fingers in his. He smiled at her, smiled at the feel of her touch. She was so warm, yet something was different. She wasn’t as warm as usual. Bloody hell! It was because he was warm!

“My heart,” he stammered, “it’s…it’s beating.”

“Yes,” she said with a nod.

“I can…I can feel it.” He sucked in a sharp breath.

“That…that’s really different when you have to do it.” Buffy smiled, tears pooling in her eyes, reflecting there before him like giant oceans. Reflecting. He jumped out of the bed.

“Spike?” She got up to follow him into the bathroom, where he stood before the mirror. Her wonders were confirmed at that moment, when they both saw his reflection for the first time. He narrowed his gaze.

“My hair looks like this all the time?” Buffy laughed.

“That’s your first comment?”

“Well, don’t have much else to complain about, luv.” Buffy rolled her eyes, but it didn’t stop the tears from falling. She slowly wrapped her arms around his waist and rested her head against his back. “What’s this all mean?”

“It means…no more blankets when you decide to go for a walk during the day. It means, no more drinking pig’s blood from the butcher shop. It means…you’re human. You’re here. You’re with me. And you don’t have to hide in the dark anymore.” His entire body felt as if it ignited, when her hand moved to his chest. He turned to pull her against him, and he placed his soft, warm hand against her cheek. “Please tell me you’re alright. Please tell me you want this.”

“I want to be with you,” he whispered. “Damn the consequences…of whatever this is.” Buffy swallowed hard, struggling with the words.

“You know this means you might not be able to…to fight, right? You’ll have your skill, but the strength.”

“If Principal Pretty Boy can fight, so can I. He might be the son of a slayer, but I was a vampire for over a hundred years.” Buffy smiled, wrapping her arms around him, resting her head against his chest. Spike looked in the mirror again. God, it was so strange. He was so used to the dark, to looking for a reflection and seeing nothing.

“My soul’s still here. And my heart…” He couldn’t get over the feeling of it. It was so new, yet it wasn’t as strange a sensation as he’d thought it would be. He hadn’t been able to fathom this happening, ever. But it had, and he didn’t want to question it. “At the risk of sounding like a ponce…” He tightened his arms around her, and she looked up into his eyes. They seemed so much bluer now. “You have my heart.” The smile on her face widened even more, and she stood on her tiptoes to kiss him.

“Don’t worry, I won’t tell anyone.”

“Good, ‘cause you do, and I’ll deny it all the way.” She laughed and shook her head.

“Shut up.” She claimed his mouth with hers again, feeling the way his warm lips glided over hers, sending a tingle down her spine. He heard a small giggle out of her, and he pulled back.

“What?”

“I don’t know. I’m just happy.” Gazing into her eyes, Spike could think of no place he’d rather be than…well, maybe not here, in Angel’s building, but in her arms was the best place he knew.

“It’s really over?” he wondered. “Red stopped the prophecy?”

“We’ll have to wait and see,” Buffy replied, a bit of concern in her tone, “but it’ll be alright. I’m sure of it.” She placed her hand against his cheek. “Spike, there’s a real possibility that you might have lost your…”

“Buffy, we’ll deal with it when it happens.” I spent my entire un-life relying on my instincts. What if she’s right? What if I’m weak? What if I’m no use to her anymore. No, you bleedin’ idiot. Don’t think about that. But what if she doesn’t want me? What if she prefers the darker side?

“Spike, I don’t want you charging into a fight not knowing.”

“I can take care of myself, Slayer. You know that more than anybody,” he bristled. She knew she’d hit a nerve, so she decided to let it go for now.

“Whatever happens,” she said, looking directly into his eyes, “I won’t let you go without a fight.” Spike’s heart truly skipped a beat for the first time in a lifetime. He’d forgotten how amazing that felt too.

“You won’t run off with the next vampire that suits your fancy?”

“Don’t even say that,” she insisted. “This is where I want to be. I don’t care if you have fangs. I don’t care if your face is all bumpy. I didn’t fall in love with that.”

“Yeah, but that’s part of who I was when you did.”

“But it’s not who you are.” She placed her hand over his heart. “This is who you are. Maybe it wasn’t beating all that time, but it was always working.” Spike was in awe. How was it she could make him love her even more with just her words. How was it so different now than it was before? It was still passionate, it was still exciting, but it was tender, loving, and still, primal. “I don’t care if you can throw ten vampires across the room or if you can’t even throw one. You’re still Spike. You’re still the one who helped me when nobody else could. You’re still the one who held me when I didn’t have anybody else to turn to.” She caressed his cheek with her fingers. “I love you, Spike. I love you.”

“I love you too, pet,” he whispered, leaning down to kiss her once again. It was staggering the way he didn’t have the lust for blood anymore. The thought of it made his stomach ache. How could he live so long on something that, to him, had tasted so good it could have been ambrosia of the gods, and now the thought and the memory of the taste made him sicken?

She was kissing him, her lips sliding against his. Her warm breath mixing with his. Intense. Two hearts beating instead of one. This was the way it was meant to be all along. He could be hers. He could give her a normal life. As long as I don’t bollocks it up.

“This is real,” she whispered, against his lips. She pulled back a little and buried her face against his chest. It was then that he felt her back shaking, and he heard a sob escape. He closed his eyes and rubbed her back, as she choked out her words. “I thought you were gone, Spike. You were gone. And I was stuck here. I never would have made it without you, Spike, after I came back. Then you went away, and you came back. You were driven crazy because of me.”

“The First had a big hand in that, luv.”

“I know, but you never would have gone after your soul if it wasn’t for…”

“For the things I did,” he pointed out. “I did what I had to do to make it right, because what I did to you was…”

“Spike,” she cried, “you died protecting me. That’s the man you are.” She stood back, looking him up and down. “Now you’re here. This is real. You’re real.”

“And I can give you a normal life…if you’ll let me.”

“I don’t give a damn about a normal life,” she breathed. “You should know that by now. If I wanted a normal life, I would have left Sunnydale and never come back years ago. I’ll never have a normal life, with or without you. But you get it. You do.” She wiped her nose. “You know what it’s like to live with something you’d rather not.”

“Did it for over a century,” he muttered. “I’m tired, Buffy.” She smiled again.

“So am I.”

“Can we rest?”

“Yeah,” she whispered, nodding and letting another tear fall. She took his hand in hers, giving it a squeeze. “Come on.” She led him to the bed, and they both climbed in, holding onto one another, not daring to let go.





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