Author's Chapter Notes:
A MASSIVE thanks to my Beta Kelly (Pixiecorn) for taking the time to go over this fic.
Also a HUGE thanks to Edgehead for the awesome banner.
Chapter 3.

Conversations.

Buffy had tried desperately to distract herself from the daunting news she had received earlier that day. But no matter what she did, or how hard she tried, her thoughts always come back to the prophecy.

And more importantly, to Spike’s involvement.

Her brows creased together as thoughts of Spike once again flooded her mind. Would it really be so bad to sleep with the vampire? God knows it hadn’t been the first time the peroxide blonde had entered her mind.

Buffy’s cheeks became warm as the memory of her first encounter with Spike came to mind. She had seen him in the alley behind the Bronze. She remembered thinking how gorgeous he was, only to have her hopes crushed on the realization that he was a vampire.

He had of course informed her he would be killing her in a few days.

His plan had failed, just like every other baddie that had made that threat. For reasons unknown to her, Spike had never been able to kill her.

And for the same unknown reasons, she too, had never been able to dust him.

Buffy wasn’t sure if the reason was because they were so evenly matched or because deep down she truly did have feelings for him.

Buffy sat down on her back porch step, remembering when she had first started fantasizing about Spike.

She dreamt night after night about being wrapped in his embrace as he slid in and out of her. She dreamt about screaming in release, shuddering under him as her orgasm washed over her. Seeing that trademark smirk of his, that always seemed to make her weak at the knees, rise up on his perfect face. Watching his jaw clench as he groaned in his own release, filling her with his cold, dead seed.

His seed. Seed of the dead.

Those words rolled around in her head as she shock the images of her fantasy away. She had felt herself go hot and flush, moisture pooling between her thighs.

Sighing, she leaned forward, placing her head in her hands. God she was sick. What was she doing? Sitting on her back porch fantasizing about Spike? SPIKE?

Looking up and at the setting sun, Buffy shook her head. She was with Riley, she loved Riley.

Didn’t she?

“Keep telling yourself that, Buff.” Her inner voice mocked her.

Okay, so she may not love Riley, but she did care for him. Yet her thoughts, once again, returned to Spike.

When she had first realized she had feelings for Spike, she had worked hard to hide them, to push them aside and it had worked. She had moved on and was in a happy relationship with Angel, right up until he had lost his soul. Once that was all over, he had bolted out of Sunnydale and away from her as quick as his feet could take him.

Not that she could blame him. They had spent one passion filled night together and as a result, he had lost his soul, killed countless innocents and had the woman he loved send him straight to hell…

Literally!

Then there was Parker. A man only after one thing and once he got it, was gone before she could even register what had happened between them.

Then Riley. Sweet, gentle Riley.

She cared about him and she loved spending time with him. When they had first started seeing each other, things had been so fresh and new… every touch, every look just fuelled their passion and then suddenly it had all changed.

The initiative had started to crumble. Riley’s whole life was put under question when he realized the people he worked for were not who he thought they were.

Then of course, Buffy’s dreams had started being haunted by the aftermath of Willow’s ‘will be done’ spell.

Buffy still remembered that one night she and Spike had spent feeling completely in love with one another, engaged to be married. Buffy smiled at the memory, shaking her head. After that day she had never been the same.

Old feelings had been brought to the surface and no matter how much she fought it, or buried it, they eventually took over.

Buffy was suddenly jolted from her thoughts, when she heard the front door both open and close.

“Buffy are you home?” she heard her mother call out.

“Be there in a second,” she called back, taking one last look at the sun going down. She stood from the back step and walked inside, closing the door behind her. She watched her mother putting a few groceries away before taking a seat at the kitchen counter.

“Want some hot coco?”

“I’d love some,” she smiled, watching her mother move around the kitchen, making their drinks.

Joyce eyed Buffy, an eyebrow raised in question.

“Any chance you’ll tell me what’s the matter?” Joyce asked, taking a seat in front of her daughter, passing Buffy her hot coco. Buffy looked up at her mother, smiling softly.

“It’s nothing,” she replied, unconvincingly. Buffy desperately wanted to tell her mother, to open up to her. It wasn’t like her being the Slayer was a secret she had to hide from her mother anymore.

“Buffy you can tell me anything. You know that, don’t you?” she asked, leaning forward.

“I know, mom. But this… this is major. Y-you may not like it.” Buffy warned, taking a deep breath. Joyce prepared herself for what Buffy had to say and no matter what the news was; she promised she wouldn’t freak out.

“It’s ok. I promise not to over react.”

“Okay… Giles called this morning and asked me to come to the shop immediately. It turns out the watchers council found this prophecy and it talks about THE apocalypse. It said that my power wouldn’t be enough to win the battle and that I would lose,” she whispered.

Joyce was shocked to say the least. She didn’t know how to respond to what her daughter was saying.

Was Buffy telling her that she was destined to die?

“What does that mean Buffy? That you’re going to die?”

“Me, you, Giles… Every living thing on this earth will go straight to hell,” Buffy met her mother’s eyes. She was clearly shaken by the news.

“I’m sorry, mom. I shouldn’t have said anything. I just… needed to talk to someone.”

“No, Buffy, it’s ok. I’m a little thrown, but I’m glad you told me.”

“That’s not all… there is one way that I could win this battle.” Joyce felt relief wash over her, there was hope yet that her daughter would be safe.

“What is it?”

“Seed de la mort.” At her mother’s puzzled gaze, Buffy continued. “It means seed of the dead.”

“Well what is that? Some kind of weapon or something?”

Buffy let out a laugh. “Yeah right. Like it would ever be that simple,” she thought to herself.

“I wish… um, no it’s not a weapon…B-basically it’s a transfer of power from a master vampire to m-me.”

“What does that mean? That you would become part demon?” Joyce was beyond confused and wished Buffy would just be up front with her.

“No. I-I would just get stronger.”

“Oh. Well what’s so wrong with that?”

“In order for the transfer to happen, there needs to be a p-physical act… an interment act.” Buffy watched her mother’s eyes widen as she fully understood what she was trying to tell her.

“Oh Buffy…”

“I’m sorry to unload all of this onto you, but I just need … I don’t know… something,”

“Oh, honey.” Joyce whispered, wrapping her arms around Buffy. She stroked her hair lovingly, pulling back to look Buffy in the eyes.

“Angel?” Joyce held her breath, waiting for the answer. After all Buffy had been through with him she only hoped her daughter wouldn’t have to feel all that pain again.

“No. It’s imposable. H-h would lose his soul because of the curse.” Joyce nodded, relived.

“Willow actually suggested, Spike.” Buffy laughed.

“Buffy, I don’t know how I feel about this. I hardly find it fair that you have to sleep with a vampire, or any man for that matter, in order to save the world.”

“Tell me about it. Giles and the gang are researching a way around it. B-but if we can’t find one then…. I can’t just let this world go to hell because I’m not willing to sleep with a vampire.” Joyce nodded in understanding. Buffy had sacrificed so much already, she couldn’t help but feel outraged that they were now asking her to do this.

“Well I know if it comes down to that, Spike would be a good choice.”

“Why?”

“He is a bright, young man wh…”

“Mom, he’s neither young, nor a man.”

“He may not be young, Buffy, but he is still a man and good one. I have spent enough time talking over hot coco to know that.” Buffy smiled, her mother had always had a soft spot for Spike. Even though he was a soulless demon.

“It just feels so degrading,”

“I think Spike would show you the respect and the dignity you deserve.”

“You think?”

“I know that he may not have a soul, Buffy, but I think he proved with his loyalty to, oh, what’s her name…”

“Drusilla?”

“That’s it! Drusilla, that he is capable of feeling.” Buffy frowned at this and couldn’t help but feel a knot of jealousy at the mention of Spike’s ex.

“Sometimes I wonder i-if Spike could love Dru with that kind of intensity, then why couldn’t Angel feel that for me when he lost his soul? Did he not love me enough? Or is Spike just a better man?” Buffy whispered

“Oh, honey. I don’t doubt that Angel loved you, but I really can’t answer that question… And no matter what you decide, I will be here to support you one hundred percent all of the way.” Buffy hugged her mother tightly.

“I love you, mom,” she whispered into her mother’s hair.

“I love you too, sweetie.” Joyce replied, holding her daughter tightly. She just hoped that things would work out and if Buffy had to go through with sleeping with Spike, she knew without a doubt in her mind that Spike would give her the respect she deserved.

Joyce smiled to herself, overcome with joy that Buffy had finally opened up to her with something so important. Squeezing onto Buffy a little tighter, Joyce kissed her daughter lightly on the forehead.


Chapter End Notes:
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