Chapter 26: Answers
As she waited for her dad to come down, knowing Spike was hanging back in her room to give her time with her father, Buffy settled down on the couch with a picture album that sat in the center of his coffee table. She hadn’t really nosed through anything in the house, but now, she wondered what pieces of her father’s life would be inside to perhaps tell her why he’d been absent for so long.
But when she opened it up and began to thumb through the pages, all she found were pictures of her as a baby, and then there were pictures of her with a tiny Dawn. She smiled, touching the picture of her sitting on her father’s lap, while he had an arm around her mother. Joyce held a tiny newborn Dawn in her arms, as they all sat on the sofa the day Dawn came home from the hospital. Despite the false memories, it warmed Buffy’s heart.
She smiled a little, as she reached the pages and pages full of awkward school pictures, leading up to the last year that they were all living together as a family. Buffy couldn’t help but roll her eyes at the badass persona she’d seemed to have taken on. Leather jacket. Dark makeup. Hair highlighted with…what was that? Magenta?
“Wow,” she muttered. “Thank God for changing tastes.” She continued to look through the pictures, which stopped about a third of the way through the book. There were packets of developed pictures that had yet to be added to the album. Curiosity had gotten the better of her, and she was already opening them up to peer inside.
Her heart fluttered as she skimmed through the pack of photos from the summer she’d spent with her dad in L.A. It was the summer after she killed the Master. Each picture she was featured in showed the same glassy eyes; the same distant smile that held no real emotions whatsoever, except for the hidden ones that raged behind a calm demeanor.
She stuffed the pictures back into the envelope and opened up another one. These looked a little newer. They were of what looked like a family Christmas. Only, Buffy didn’t recognize anyone there. Well, except for her father. He had his arms all over some woman who looked like she’d stepped right out of a magazine. A few pictures later, he held two little girls on his lap, one on each knee. Buffy felt a stab of jealousy just then and quickly put the pictures away. She could hear him coming down the stairs, so she put the album back where it belonged.
When Hank re-emerged, he walked into the living room slowly and scanned the room, obviously trying to figure out where he should sit. He settled for the chair across from the couch, and he sat down slowly, eyes on Buffy, who was looking anywhere but at him.
Several awkward, silent moments passed before Hank cleared his throat.
“So, did you have a safe drive up?”
“We got here, didn’t we?” Wow. She hadn’t expected to sound so harsh so quickly.
“Oh. Yeah. Well, I mean, no problems?”
“It was fine.”
“Good. Did you…what is that?” Buffy caught her father’s gaze, and she watched him wrinkle his brow.
“What’s what?”
“On your neck.” Buffy’s eyes widened, and her hand flew up to the bite mark.
“Oh. That. Ummm…” She had to think fast, but before she had the chance to respond, her red face told him something else completely.
“Ah, on the other hand, maybe I don’t want to know.” Buffy quickly put moved her hair over the spot so it would be out of sight, and hopefully to God, out of mind.
“Good call,” she said with a nervous smile. “How was your trip?”
“Long. Boring. But I’m glad to be home.”
“Yeah,” Buffy said quietly. Hank smiled again, seeming to relax some. “What?”
“I don’t know. It’s…you’ve just grown up…so much.”
“It’s been a while. You should see Dawn. You might not even recognize her.” Hank looked a little defeated.
“I guess I deserved that.”
“You guess?”
“Buffy, I don’t want to argue with you…”
“Oh really? That’s funny, because I have a few good years of arguing pent up that I’d just love to get out.”
“Buffy,” Hank said, holding his hands up in defense, “I can’t even begin to tell you how sorry I am for everything you and Dawn have been through. I don’t know what to say to make it up to you, but I want to try. If you could…if you could cut me a little slack…”
“A little slack? You didn’t even call when mom died!” Buffy spat.
“Ok. Wrong choice of words,” Hank said quietly.
“Surely you didn’t think us coming up here was all about some big, happy family reunion. Because this is far from a happy family. We’re barely a family anymore. After everything…”
“Buffy,” Hank breathed, “I don’t have any good excuses to give you for why I was gone. I’m not even gonna try, because you deserve better than that.” Buffy’s arms folded across her chest. “You’re a grown woman now.”
“Grown woman? Yeah, I guess I am,” Buffy said quietly. “I had to do a lot of that growing up stuff when Mom got sick. I had to play nurse to her, go to school, take care of Dawn, see my friends, my boyfriend, be the Sl...” Hank furrowed his brows. “I had to drop out of school, Dad.”
“I know. I…I’m sorry I…”
“If you could’ve done something. Sent money to help pay for a nurse…anything. Mom made money, but not enough to pay for her medical bills and pay a nurse. Dad…when we called you, we really weren’t looking for money.”
“I know. I didn’t think you were,” he explained. “I was out of the country, and I…”
“You couldn’t pick up a phone while you were busy with…who was it, again? Your secretary, or…”
“I was wrong, ok?” Buffy’s jaw closed tightly, and she let her father continue. “I got busy with work, and that’s when the visits became less often, and eventually, you were caught up with, whatever it was that your mother wouldn’t tell me you were caught up in your senior year, and then I guess I just stopped trying. When I had to cancel our visits, you got upset, and when I could make one, your mother always said you were busy.” Buffy flinched. “Was she lying to me, or were you…”
“She wasn’t lying,” Buffy said quietly. “She didn’t tell me you called that often.”
“I know. She told me that she was worried about you, because you were…you were into something. She wouldn’t tell me what it was, but I asked if there was anything I could do. She said there wasn’t, and that you could take care of yourself. She just didn’t want you getting distracted. And don’t think for a minute that I blame her. Whatever it was, you were better off focusing on…whatever it was.”
“I don’t blame her.”
“From then on, I guess I just stopped trying. You were going off to college, and by then, you were too busy to visit.” Buffy sighed, shrugging her shoulders.
“You didn’t call, Dad. I tried calling you a lot, and…and you never called back.”
“I was out of the country a lot, sweetheart,” he explained. “I was…I was seeing someone, and I was traveling a lot.”
“So that made you, what, incapable of picking up a phone and dialing a few numbers?” Her eyes were glassy again, this time due to the tears that were building up. She forced them back, however, not wanting to let him see her cry because of him.
“I don’t have any excuses there, Buffy. I talked to your sister a couple of times, but she…I don’t know, she seemed so distant. That first year, while you were in school, she was just sad because you weren’t home so much. She wanted to come visit me, but I was so busy, Buffy. I had projects lined up that would keep me away, and I didn’t want her staying her by herself.”
“So…when Mom got sick…”
“I was with Rosa. We were traveling around Europe. I did leave a number for you…”
“Yeah. And when Mom died, we tried to call you, but the number wasn’t any good. So I had to leave a message with your secretary, which funnily enough, was a temp, because your real secretary was with you.”
“When I found out,” Hank explained, “I wanted to come see you, but Rosa needed me here.” Buffy was appalled.
“You wanted to stay here with your girlfriend instead of being with your kids when our mother just died?”
“I’m not saying my reasons were right, Buffy. There was just so much going on, and…”
“It doesn’t make up for the fact that you chose your stupid girlfriend over us. Are you even still with her?”
“No,” he said quickly. “We’re not together anymore. And…and I didn’t choose her over you. I…she was in the hospital. She went into premature labor, and the baby was…” Buffy felt a cold chill run up her spine. “Buffy, I had to be there. And I thought…I thought you and Dawn could take care of yourselves. I planned to come visit. I swear to you, I did. But with the baby being so sick, I just…”
“You have another kid?” Buffy wasn’t sure if she should be even more hurt or disgusted by the fact that her dad chose his secretary and their kid over her and her sister.
“Had,” Hank said quietly. “The baby didn’t make it past a couple of months. He was too early, and even though we got to take him home, there were complications. He was…”
“A boy,” Buffy said quietly. This wasn’t the time for some son-he-never-had speech, and she knew that. So, she just bit her tongue.
“After that, Rosa packed up her and the girls and left. She said she couldn’t stay anymore. And it hurt, Buffy. Losing all of them like that. I thought about coming to see you all, but I just couldn’t do it. As much as I loved you, I couldn’t.”
“You couldn’t come see your own daughters?”
“Because it just made it hurt worse. You and Dawn were already angry with me, and I knew that. What kids wouldn’t be mad at their dad for not calling…not coming by. After everything you went through…I just thought my being there might make it worse.” Buffy took a few deep breaths.
“Well you were wrong. Yeah, we would’ve been mad at you if you had come back, but at least we would’ve known you actually cared. Instead, you just…you disappeared, Dad. You were gone, and we didn’t know what to do.” She couldn’t hold her tears back anymore.
“I’m sorry for what happened to your son, but having a family with someone else doesn’t erase the family you left behind.” She shook her head. “I can’t…I’m going upstairs. I just can’t deal with this right now.”
“Buffy, please,” Hank called after her, standing up as she hurried out of the room. He took a deep breath, preparing to go after her, but by the time he reached the staircase, he could hear her door slam and the lock turn. He knew that all he could do now was wait until she was ready to talk to him again.
***
The moment she came through the door, eyes red from crying, face streaked with tears, he realized that he’d never seen her like this. Sure, he’d seen her more upset than he’d ever seen, but she’d usually held it in, maybe letting a few tears slip out. But he’d never seen her cry like this before. And it broke his heart.
“Buffy?” It was all he had to do before she let him take her into his arms. He stood there, holding her, rubbing her back, letting her cry it all out. He fought the urge to tear out of the room and give Hank Summers a good beating for upsetting Buffy like this, but he was tamed by her hands clutching his shirt and her warm tears dampening and soaking through the fabric.
“I’m sorry,” she whispered, pulling back and wiping her eyes. He took one of her hands in his and used his free hand to brush away a few stray tears. “I didn’t think I’d get so upset. I knew…I knew I’d get mad, but…”
“S’alright,” he assured her. “What happened?”
“I think…I…part of me wanted him to give me a really good reason why he didn’t call, but the best he could come up with was that it was too hard.” She shook her head. “I don’t understand, Spike. I just…I just don’t get it.”
“I don’t either, pet,” he whispered, resting his forehead against hers. “Don’t know how anybody wouldn’t want you in their life.”
“The worst part,” she whispered, “is that he had another family. He did. And that family’s gone now, and…and I know I shouldn’t feel like this, but it’s like…like Dawn and I are second best.”
“What do you mean, pet?” She shook her head.
“He had a baby with some…Rosa woman. It was when Mom...”
“That so?”
“Yeah,” she breathed. “I had a brother.” She shook her head. “He died, and Rosa left him. And he just stayed alone. He didn’t come see us. I want to be mad at him for it…I want to hate him. But he lost a baby, and…”
“And that’s terrible,” he said comfortingly, “but it doesn’t mean he can cast off the two girls he already had.” Buffy looked up into his soft, blue eyes, and she sniffled.
“That’s what I said.”
“You were right, luv. He might be hurting, but you and Dawn…you had a world of pain of your own to deal with. You shouldn’t have had to go through it alone.” Buffy relaxed in his arms again, and they lay down together on the bed. She took solace in his cool embrace, closing her eyes and simply thinking of nothing but the way his arms felt around her. When she was there, she felt like she could breathe again.
“I’m sorry,” she whispered. “You shouldn’t have to…”
“Shh,” he assured her. “I’m here for you, pet. I’ll always be here for you.” He kissed the top of her head, and she looked up into his eyes. He gave her a reassuring smile and gently rubbed her back. “Don’t forget that, alright?”
“’Kay,” she agreed with a nod, leaning up to kiss him. “Thank you.” He squeezed her a little harder, and she completely relaxed, trying not to think about her anger or frustration; trying to focus on everything she had despite the sloppy tear in the fabric of her life where her father used to be.
***
“I don’t understand,” Dana said, pacing her room frantically. Giles was alone with her, but he felt assured that she was still restrained by shackles. “What are these for?”
“They’re just precautionary, I assure you.” He attempted to sound convincing.
“Why am I here? Who are you?”
“You’ve been having dreams, correct?”
“I don’t know. Maybe. I can’t remember much of anything.”
“You feel stronger? Feel like there’s something you should be doing?” Dana looked at him, eyes wide and frightened. “You’re a Slayer, Dana. Do you know what that means?”
“No,” she whispered, lower lip trembling. “I can’t remember…”
“You were in a state of catatonia. You’re coming out of it.”
“How?”
“Mr. Travers,” he said with a nod toward the window. “He administered a drug that…”
“He drugged me? Why? What was wrong with me?” The door opened, and Travers stepped in.
“That’ll be enough for today. We should let Ms. Mullens get her rest.”
“What the Hell did you do to me?” Dana asked furiously, moving toward the man.
“Calm down, Dana. You’ll feel much better after you’ve relaxed.
“What’s a Slayer?” she urged.
“Rest now,” Travers suggested. “You’ve had a big day. We’ll talk more tomorrow.” With that, he and Giles stepped out of the room, and the door heavily clinked shut behind them. Travers turned to Giles. “So…will you help us? Will you train her?”
“I’m making you no promises, Mr. Travers,” Giles insisted. “But I would like more time with the girl. I want to be certain that I’m not about to train someone who may very well be intent on killing innocent people.”
***
“I don’t know how to introduce you,” Buffy said quietly, as she sat next to Spike on the bed. “I feel like you’re more than my boyfriend.”
“I kind of am, luv.” Buffy looked up at him. “We’re bonded now. A claim is like a marriage. It might not be on paper, but its…well, it’s physical…in us.” Buffy nodded.
“Yeah. I know. I’m still a little wigged about the whole ‘extra goodies’ thing.” She shivered a little.
“Yeah. Thing is, and I don’t plan on finding this out for many, many years, is that when one of us goes, the other goes.”
“You mean…if some demon kicks my ass and manages to snap my neck, you’ll die too? Like that? Poof?”
“Poof,” he said with a somber nod.
“And you claimed me knowing that?”
“Well, sure. Not like I’d have anything to live for if you weren’t here.” He saw a sad smile pull at her lips. “Problem is, if I get dusted…”
“So goes me.”
“Yeah,” he muttered. “In theory.”
“Well, let’s not think about that then. You just stay away from sunlight and pointy things, and I’ll try not to get myself killed. Deal?” She held out her hand matter-of-factly, and he shook it before bringing it to his lips for a tender kiss. “Maybe that’s the only ‘extra goody’ we get, huh?”
“Maybe,” Spike replied quietly. “We’re going to have to tell your watcher. He’ll need to be on the up and up in case he decides he’s had enough of a vampire hanging around his slayer.”
“You’re right,” Buffy replied quietly. It would have to happen sooner or later. Better to make it sooner. “Still don’t know how to introduce you to my dad. I’m tempted to not introduce you at all and just leave.”
“But then you’d always regret not fixing things between you.”
“Have you been watching Dr. Phil?” Spike made a face at her.
“You do know he’s an Ethros demon, don’t you?”
“What? No way!”
“Ponce gets in good with Oprah, and he makes it big. Thinks he’s God’s bloody gift to…”
“Is Oprah a demon too?”
“Polls aren’t in on that one yet,” Spike said with a raised eyebrow. Clearing his throat, he got back to the subject at hand. “S’alright, pet. I’m here, so just remember that.”
“Alright, but please don’t wig out on him. I mean, he might be the bastard that left me and Dawn high and dry, but he’s still my dad. I don’t want my…pseudo husband to make him into a tasty snack.”
“I’m off humans, luv. You know that.”
“Yeah, I know,” she teased. She took a deep breath. “I guess it’s now or never, huh?” He stood up, and he pulled her up with him.
“Now or never.”
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Chapter End Notes:
Hey guys! I just wanna say thanks for all the support you've given me so far through this story! Please keep the feedback coming! It helps me when it comes to making decisions about the story. Lots more to come soon!