Lorne frowned saying, “Spike’s coming here?”
Angel nodded and Lorne said, “Um…are you sure that’s such a great idea? Buffy was here singing not more than 30 minutes ago. She was in here not more than 10 minutes ago. Isn’t there like a scent thing with you guys?” In a way Lorne hoped Angel got caught. He’d still keep his job and this whole big secret thing would be finished.
Angel shrugged, “Buffy didn’t touch anyone and I doubt Spike would know her scent that well anyway.”
Just then the door slammed open and in strutted Spike. He placed the vial in front of Fred, the urn in front of Wesley and three scrolls in front of Angel saying, “Mission completed. Hey Lorne give me that bottle of scotch off the back counter.”
Lorne was tempted to say something but shrugged handing it to Spike. Spike’s eyes got big as he took a sip. He could have sworn he tasted strawberry lip-gloss just like the stuff Buffy wore on her lips. He looked at the bottle and there was no sign of the pink stuff on the bottle so he shook it off.
He plopped himself in the chair where Buffy had left and smelled vanilla and strawberry. He sighed thinking he must really have Buffy on the brain.
Lorne looked at Spike saying, “Grace with a song or two tonight big boy?” Spike shrugged and took the microphone to start to sing.
The Reason by Hoobastank
I’m not a perfect person/There’s many things I wish I didn’t do/But I continue learning/I never meant to do those things to you/And so I have to say before I go/That I just want you to know/I’ve found a reason for me/To change who I used to be/A reason to start over new/And the reason is you/I’m sorry that I hurt you/It’s something I must live with everyday/And all the pain I put you through/I wish that I could take it all away/And be the one who catches all your tears/That’s why I need you to hear/I’ve found a reason for me/To change who I used to be/A reason to start over new/And the reason is you/I’ve found a reason to show/A side of me you didn’t know/A reason for all that I do/And the reason is you…
Spike bowed and jumped off the stage handing the microphone to Lorne.
He took the bottle with him saying, “Put it on my tab” and leaves still swearing it tasted sweet like strawberries.
Buffy said to Willow, “Angel wasn’t my problem. Did you realize that?”
Willow replies rolling her eyes even though Buffy couldn’t see it,, “Yeah of course I knew that. I just didn’t know where else to send you. Giles thought you were suicidal. You aren’t right?”
Buffy shrugged but realized Willow couldn’t see it saying, “Well…I don’t exactly know. I wasn’t going to kill myself but sometimes when I’m fighting, it takes every ounce of strength I have to push the vampire away before he finishes me off.”
Willow sighed and said, “Is it getting any better there for you?”
Buffy replied honestly, “No. I feel like Spike was here. I feel and smell and sense him everywhere. It’s strange.”
Willow didn’t know what to say about that. She figured Buffy would just need time so she said, “So what are you plans now?”
Buffy replied in a quiet voice, “I’m not sure. I’m going to help Wesley tomorrow so he can finish up with the journals hopefully. Then I might just go back to England and sulk it out there. Being in L.A. isn’t changing anything. Angel wants something and I can’t do it. I just…he’s not…”
Willow answered for Buffy, “Spike. He’s not Spike.”
Buffy sighed but knew she was absolutely right. She whispered to Willow knowing she could be more honest over the phone than in person, “Will it get better?”
Willow answered truthfully, “I haven’t figured that out yet. I miss Tara. Sometimes so badly I can’t stand to live anymore but other times she’s there but not active. It’s like the pain is triggered. The hurt is a part of you and you no longer notice it until something reminds you of it and then all at once it hits you like a ton of bricks but then it goes back to a part of you. You’ll make it Buffy, you’re strong but it won’t be easy.”
Buffy sighed into the phone and Willow said, “When you get back though we can put on a movie that will make you and I both cry and eat ice cream until we are sick and then laugh about old times. You can ramble about Spike you run out of memories, I’ll do the same about Tara and perhaps it will make us fill better.”
Buffy smiled and said, “I hope so Willow. Thanks.”
Willow smiled saying, “What are friends for Buffy. So you will call me when you leave so I know when you are traveling?”
Buffy replied, “Sure thing Willow. Give my love to everyone when you talk to him or her. I haven’t called anyone since I’ve been here. Tell Dawn to study hard. Tell Xander to not let those girls walk over him. Tell Giles I’ll see him in a few days and you take care.”
Willow whispered, “Take care Buffy. Bye.”
Buffy hung up the phone and let the tears fall. Willow had helped but she wanted Spike. She felt a whisper of her name in Spike’s tone and stopped crying rubbing her scar slightly. She rolled over in her bed and sighed as she felt the familiar arms wrap around her and closed her eyes feeling Spike kiss away her tears whispering, “I got you. You are ok luv. Just sleep.” She smiled and felt herself drift off to sleep.
Spike walked into his apartment drinking the rest of the bottle and sighed. He was tempted to find Buffy. Perhaps he’d do the L.A. mission for Angel and then do the Africa one and then see if he can find out at least how Buffy is doing. Angel doesn’t say anything but he figured it because Angel doesn’t know anything.
He threw his jacket on the chair and stripped down to nothing like always and crawled into bed. He sighed rubbing the scar on his hand whispering, “Buffy.” He heard her crying and closed his eyes rolling over to his side as he imagined her body and could smell the strawberry and vanilla scent with a tad of scotch on her breath but figured that was from his bottle. He kissed away her tears and whispered into the air, “I got you. You’re ok luv. Just sleep.” He smiled as she drifted off to sleep luring him also to follow.