CHAPTER FIVE: The Way We Were
“Oh my god, Spike, look! It’s so cute…”
Spike arched a brow at the fat stuffed pig sitting by itself amidst teddy bears, stuffed flowers, and posters of that goofy boy band…. New kids around the corner or whatever they called themselves. Of course Buffy would fall in love with the goofy thing no one wanted. “That thing?” he pointed while giving her a look.
She gave him her best pout and nodded while looking up at him through her thick lashes. He looked away and clenched his jaw, shaking his head and trying very hard not to smile at her. He wouldn’t give in to that pout. If he gave in every time she’d get used to it and he just couldn’t allow that to happen.
Buffy saw him shaking his head and huffed. She knew what would get him to win it. He wouldn’t be able to resist her charm. “Mr. Gordo looks so lonely over there…. All by himself…”
Spike spun and faced her, giving her another look. “You named the thing already?” he exasperated.
Buffy cocked a brow and smirked. And now for the kill… “Fine. If you don’t want to I’ll just call Angel and he’ll come get it for me. I just hope Mr. Gordo's not gone by then…”
Before Buffy had even finished her sentence Spike pulled out his money clip and stepped up to the Carnie. The object of the game was to knock over all the overly-weighted bottles with a single throw of a baseball. Spike never was too keen on sports. Why couldn’t this be a shooting game? He thought. Or poker?
Buffy giggled as she skipped up behind him and rested her hand on his one shoulder, silently thanking the gods that she had a friend like him. Even if it did take him – six? - tries to finally get it.
Nearly twenty dollars later and Spike had finally won his choice of a prize, thankful that Buffy was standing right beside him as he asked for the stuffed pig. Even if she hadn’t been, though, her reaction when she finally had it in her arms was enough to make him ask for the queerest thing in this entire carnival, just as long as she kept smiling like that.
“Thank you thank you thank you! Spike, I love you, I love Mr. Gordo!” she pounced as she clutched the thing to her chest.
Spike nodded and smiled before stuffing his hands in his pockets of his leather duster. Even after asking for a ridiculous pig he felt good. Dru wasn’t a stuffed animals or flowers type of girl, so he didn’t get to puff out his chest and be manly for her very often. Buffy was his primary chance for that, even if she was just a friend.
Buffy smiled down at her new stuffed pal as she pet its faux fur. She would never admit it to Spike, but Angel wasn’t exactly a frilly-prize winning type of boyfriend. He was more of a stand-at-the-same-basketball-game-until-you’ve-won-the-useless-scooter type. He never would have swallowed his manly pride to win her the pig. She was eternally grateful to Spike for that.
Spike was staring, and he had to force his eyes away before anyone noticed. Taking in a sharp breath he looked around and motioned his head toward a food stand. “Come on, Goldilocks. Let’s get me a flowering onion before Xander and Wil get here and eat it all on me.”
Buffy tilted her head at him and smiled. “It’s on me. A thank you for my twenty dollar pig…”
Spike smirked and nodded, taking her up on her offer. Cute and she offers to pay? She was perfect…
x X X x X x X x
Spike woke to the beam of sunlight stretching across his eyes. He inhaled a deep breath and stretched as he rolled and opened his eyes, pausing to take in his surroundings. Buffy’s room? That’s right, he came in here last night while he waited for her to come back with clothes.
He lifted the blanket that covered him and looked down at himself. The towel had fallen off and he now lay on top of Buffy’s bed spread completely naked. He really hoped that had happened after the blanket was draped over him.
He looked around the room for a clock, and couldn’t help his surprise when he saw it was nearing noon. He’d slept for nearly fifteen hours. That was the most sleep he’d gotten in years. He instantly felt bad through. If he slept in Buffy’s bedroom all night, where had she slept?
Spike sat up and was preparing to wrap himself up in the discarded towel when he spotted the clothing folded neatly and placed on the chair to the left of the bed. He reached over and picked them up, unfolding them and holding them out in front of him. His old black jeans were certainly a sight for sore eyes and he felt huge relief to have his normal clothes back. It had been nearly a week and he’d been wearing his suit or Xander’s clothes that entire time. The clothes he had been wearing when he found his father…. Well they were ruined, and he asked Mrs. Summers to throw them away.
Spike stood and let the blanket drop, and he grabbed the one and only pair of boxer shorts he owned that Buffy somehow found, and pulled them on. He had been wearing soft sweat pants the last two days, he needed to ease himself back into wearing his tight fitting jeans while going commando.
He pulled a black t-shirt over his head and tucked it in before buttoning his jeans around them. He felt better just being in his own clothes again. Things were a little more normal that way. Spike folded the blanket Buffy had put over him and set it neatly on the foot of the bed, then grabbed his discarded towel and walked it across the hall to the bathroom where he threw it in the chute, listening to it fall and to the small thud it made when it finally reached the basement floor. He looked in the mirror at himself, at his newly cut and bleached hair, and suppressed a small smile. He felt so much better since last night.
Having Buffy back, having her around again, Spike felt maybe her presence was something he would need in order to get through this. Maybe she could help him make sense of everything that had spiraled downward in his life. Maybe she was the key…
Still looking in the mirror, he realized how refreshing it was to see himself looking the way he used to. That was how he had looked when he was happy. Sleep had given him quite the cow-lick on one side of his head though, and he looked around for some hair gel or hair spray he could use to tame it. As he looked he noticed his own products sitting on the counter and he suppressed another smile. She was a smart one.
With a fresh sense of determination he picked up the hair gel and put it to work, anxious to get downstairs and find the girl he needed to see.
x X x X x X x X x
Buffy sat in the kitchen with her palms gripping a glass of fresh squeezed juice as she watched and listened to her mother as she mulled around the kitchen. Joyce had been going on about something that had happened at the gallery, and Buffy tired really hard to pay attention, but her traitorous mind just kept wandering back to Spike, his lyrics, and the photo she’d found hidden in his dresser drawer. Not to mention Dawn’s subtle comment from last night, and it all had her imagining the ‘what ifs’ in her life. What if she had just stayed in Sunnydale, and gone to community college like the others? Or what if she had just made more of an effort to come home more often or at least invite her friends to come stay with her in L.A. every once in a while. What if she had been around when Spike and Drusilla’s relationship went under? Could her presence have saved him the embarrassment and pain? If she had stayed, would he have even stayed with Dru in the first place?
Buffy shook that last thought from her mind. It wouldn’t have been like that. Spike was a loyal, loving boyfriend to Dru. She was just letting one little quote on the back of one little picture go to her head. When it read All I Ever Wanted it probably was just referring to the friendship they’d shared. She was just reaching, and jumping to conclusions about his true feelings.
“Buffy…”
Buffy raised her eyes from her glass to her waiting mother. Busted, she thought. Caught daydreaming. “Huh?”
“Honey, are you alright? You’re zoning out a lot,” Joyce stated, looking concerned.
Buffy let the guilt once again. “I’m sorry, mom. I didn’t mean to ignore you.” She motioned to her head. “Just… kind of busy up here, you know?”
Joyce gave her daughter a sad smile and walked around the kitchen island to wrap her in a hug. Buffy hugged her back and inhaled the unique mom scent, and then saddened, knowing Spike would never again feel that sensation for either of his parents.
“Mom, I’m sorry.”
Joyce pulled back and frowned. “For what, honey?”
Tears brimmed her tired eyed. She hadn’t slept much on the couch the night before and it was starting to show. “For not being here. Literally and figuratively.””
Joyce’s heart sank. She did not want her daughter blaming herself for things out of her control. She opened her mouth to speak but was interrupted when Spike emerged from the hallway.
“Morning…”
Buffy whipped around in her seat and couldn’t help the beaming smile on her face when she laid eyes on him. Joyce didn’t miss it either.
“Spike,” Buffy breathed, his appearance and presence making her feel a hundred times better inside. He looked… amazing. His hair was that familiar platinum color, and slicked back again, showing off his face and eyes. He looked rested and comfortable in his old clothing. He was Spike again. Buffy stood and faced him fully. “How’d you sleep?”
Spike sucked in a breath and smiled briefly. “Good. Too good, actually,” he said, and then he gave her a pointed look. “You should’ve woken me; you shouldn’t have slept on the couch in your own home.”
Buffy shook her head and took a careful step forward. “No. I wanted you to sleep there. You needed it.”
Spike tried to portray his gratitude with a lingering stare, combined with a gentle smile, and Buffy had no trouble seeing it. When the stare became more intense and he felt himself pulling toward her, he quickly looked around for a distraction. He cleared his throat and looked at Ms. Summers. “Joyce, do you know where my suit had gone to? I think my belt was still looped in the trousers…”
She gave him the same loving smile she gave her own children. “I steam cleaned the suit. It’s hanging next to the ironing board in the basement. Your belt is on top of the dryer.”
Spike stepped over to the woman and kissed her on the cheek. “Thank you.”
Joyce caressed his arm lovingly and smiled as he pulled away and let himself into the basement, closing the door behind him.
When he was completely out of sight Joyce looked at Buffy. “What went on here last night? I’m seeing contradicting evidence here…”
Buffy feigned ignorance. “I don’t know what you mean,” she said as she sat back down and sipped her juice.
“Buffy last night I came home to find a shattered liquor bottle in my kitchen sink and you sleeping on the couch. And yet, here is Spike looking a hundred percent better when he hasn’t looked like that for more than a year. Buffy, what happened?”
“We just talked some stuff out. I asked to do his hair and he agreed. I went over to his house to get some clothes for him. It was a very back and forth evening but we’re okay. He’s still gotta work through some stuff, but-“
“Did he open the insurance folder that came in the mail?” Joyce asked with a worried tone.
Buffy’s face fell and she recalled his distress over everything yesterday. “Yes. The insurance company won’t pay out because it was self inflicted. He has no money coming and now he has to figure out a way to pay for all the expenses and the mortgage and taxes.”
Joyce put a hand over her heart and sat in the chair beside Buffy’s. “Oh, poor William. This is all so sad,” she said as she shook her head and looked at her daughter, shifting a little in her seat. “If it weren’t for all those medications they had him on…”
Buffy nodded. “So many cases come through dad’s office about people suing pharmacies and drug companies and-“ Buffy stopped mid sentence, light bulb beaming. “Wait, how long was Mr. Giles on his newest med?”
Joyce frowned and scrunched her eyebrows together. “I don’t know, honey, it wasn’t exactly a topic of conversation between us.”
Buffy stood and backed away, a pensive look on her face as the wheels turned in her head. “I gotta run and check on something real quick. When he comes back up tell him I’ll be back in a bit, okay?” Buffy turned and moved quickly out of the kitchen and toward the front door.
Joyce was confused, and she could do nothing but stare after her daughter as she listened to the front door open and close as she left. Just then Spike reemerged from the basement as he buckled his newly found belt, looking a hell of a lot better in his own clothing.
Joyce turned in her chair to face him as he scanned the room for Buffy, noting she was missing already.
“William, honey, can I fix you something to eat?”
Spike sighed and looked around, still not finding Buffy. He wanted to say no and just find Joyce’s eldest daughter, but the growl that came from his stomach betrayed him. He and just opened his mouth to protest when the offending noise worked its way from his stomach up and out of his throat, and he blushed. “That would be wonderful, thanks.”
Joyce smiled and stood, patting his arm lovingly as she made her way over to the cupboard. “What would you like, sweetie? Something hot? Something cold?”
Spike shrugged and took the seat she had just vacated; leaving the one Buffy had been sitting in open in case she came back downstairs and planned to sit with them again. “Whatever’s easiest for you. I’ll eat anything.”
Joyce smiled as she moved to the refrigerator and peeked inside. “I remember,” she said grabbing a few things and closing the door with her foot. “I miss the days when you and Buffy would come home after school and raid the fridge. The bizarre concoctions you two would create out of whatever we had laying around…” she shook her head as she set a frying pan on the stove top.
Spike smiled to himself at the memory and picked at the already chipped black nail polish on his fingers. He missed those days too. It was a routine they’d fallen into right after high school started, and it never stopped the entire time they were in school together. Even while he’d dated Dru he’d made Buffy his priority. Got him into trouble a few times, but in the end he felt it had all been worth it.
Then Buffy just up and left, and he’d felt like she had taken that time together for granted. He spent all that time with her instead of Dru, and she’d just left, and then Dru had strayed. Part of him wanted to blame her, but he knew in his heart that he couldn’t. It wasn’t her fault. Now that she was here, though, he wanted to savor the time with her again, and he hoped she would savor it too. He didn’t want to lose her again the way he already had.
“I’ve got all the fixens for a Reuben. How does that sound?” Joyce asked as she dropped some butter into the already heated frying pan.
“Hm?” Spike was pulled from his thoughts and he quickly nodded. “Sure, sounds wonderful,” he said looking over his shoulder toward the hallway, hoping to see Buffy emerge from the other room. She didn’t. He listened intently for a moment and noticed he couldn’t hear any movement in the house other than Joyce making him lunch. He was starting to get anxious. “Where did Buffy go?”
x X x X x X x X x
Buffy stepped over the threshold into the Giles residence for the second time in less than twenty four hours. Sunlight made all the difference in the world, and as she closed the door behind her, she couldn’t help but notice how much nicer the place looked in the day time. It was comfortable, just as she’d remembered it.
Looking around the place there was so much she wanted to do but there was a task at hand and she needed to get some answers, and fast.
Buffy took a steadying breath and made her way towards the stairs, needing to find wherever Mr. Giles kept his prescription medications. If she could figure out if there was a change in dosage or a new prescription all together, she could maybe pull some strings at her dad’s law firm to get the insurance claim reevaluated. It was a long shot, but it would be worth it if it worked.
Buffy made her way up the stairs and over to the door to the master bedroom, feeling extremely nosey but also determined. Buffy wanted so badly to make this all better for Spike, a sort of penance for leaving him in the wind all those years ago. Nothing she could do would make this all okay. The only thing that would make it better would be to turn back time and keep Mr. Giles from pulling that trigger. That was impossible, but if she could at least bring him the slightest amount of relief in all this turmoil, then she would sure as hell try.
She pushed her way into the master bedroom and searched the wall for a light switch. The curtains were drawn and the room was clouded in darkness, sending a reminder of what happened up and down her spine like an icy chill. Once she found the switch and illuminated the room she took a moment to re-familiarize herself with the space. It had been years since she was last in this room, and even when she had been, she and Spike had been kids, sneaking around the house looking for something to get in trouble for. Oh what she would do to go back to the days of being so young and care free with no worries, no job, no bills, just homework and after school plans.
Buffy straightened her t-shirt and stepped forward into the room, looking toward the bathroom door that was slightly ajar. She swallowed and pushed her way into the small room, freezing at the sight in front of her. The room looked ransacked, bottles and personal items strewn across the counter and floor. The shower curtain was pulled down; it almost looked like maybe a robbery had taken place. Only, it was the only room in the entire house that looked that way, so it couldn’t have been the case. Pills were all over the place, like Giles was trying to get rid of them, or perhaps find the right ones.
Buffy swallowed hard and knelt down, picking up the tiny pills and sorting them into piles, hoping to eventually place them back into the correct bottles so she could figure out which ones might be linked to his illness. She was no pharmacist, so for all she knew this could be for nothing, but at least if Spike came through here… when he came through here, he wouldn’t have to see the chaos.
Minutes felt like hours as she picked up every last pill, razor, bottle of aftershave, and whatever else was on the floor. She didn’t want anyone seeing the place this way. After hanging the tattered shower curtain and making sure it was hanging straight, she turned her attention back to the multiple bottles of pills. All of them were old prescriptions, running three or four months at a time, save for one. One bottle was dated only a few weeks earlier, and it looked like there weren’t many missing. This is it, she thought as she held the bottle. This is the one. Quickly she moved out of the bedroom and back downstairs toward the study. On the big oak desk sat an ancient looking computer, one she was sure hadn’t been replaced since before she graduated high school. As she pressed the power button she just hoped it wouldn’t take it as long to fire up and start running.
Checking the name on the prescription bottle she quickly typed it into the default search engine on the old PC. The moment her results popped up she knew she hit pay dirt, and her sneaking suspicions appeared to become fact, and she quickly picked up the phone and dialed.
x X x X x X x X x
Spike gulped hard as he placed his hand on the door knob to his own front door. He hadn’t been back inside since, well, since. Eventually he’d have to, though, and Buffy had been gone for a while now. When Joyce had told him where Buffy had gone, he became intrigued. Why’d she go over there again? She’d just gone over there last night… what could she be doing? Joyce hadn’t been very forthcoming with details, and he needed to see her, so into the house he would go.
He was incredibly tense as he walked inside, quickly closing the door behind him. He looked around and noted how incredibly normal everything looked inside the home. And yet, it didn’t feel quite like his home anymore. It was a shell of a home. A place that had once held happy memories, now held memories of terrible pain and sorrow. He wasn’t so sure he even wanted the house anymore. Not that it mattered; he would probably never earn enough to money in the time he needed in order to make the mortgage payments before it foreclosed.
As he looked around the house he heard rustling come from his fathers study. What was she doing in there? The noises intrigued him and he slowly made his way towards the door. The muffled sounds of her voice became clearer, and it was obvious then that she was on the phone. A slight twinge of jealousy pierced him and he grew uneasy of the thought of her talking to another man while in his would-be home.
Jealousy wasn’t something he should feel. He should be grieving over the loss of his father, and worrying about what was going to happen in his life next, not who Buffy might be talking to. She wasn’t his to keep track of. She hadn’t even been in his life the past five years, save for the last couple of days where she came rushing back into his life all at once. Even still, he couldn’t ignore the pangs he felt at the thought.
He placed his hand on the door frame and leaned forward slightly, listening in on what she was saying.
“Just hurry up and do what you can. I need to just figure all this out and get it over with…”
Spikes jaw clenched as he tried to keep his anger and resentment under control. So all she wanted was to get her role of supportive friend over and done with so she could get back to her precious life in the city. Sucking a breath in through his nose he pushed the door the rest of the way open and looked in on the girl in the room, startling her.
“What are you doing here?”
TBC
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