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Author's Chapter Notes:
A MASSIVE thanks to both my Beta's Pixiecorn (Kelly) and Dorians Kitten. Also a HUGE thanks to Edgehead (Mel) for the awesome banner.
Chapter 3

Only hope.

Spike had just arrived at the Summer’s resident per Joyce’s request. It had been a month since that terrible night when he had found Buffy, bloody and beaten on the bathroom floor.

After seeing Buffy in the hospital, Giles had immediately called the Watcher’s Council for their assistance in removing Acathla from Sunnydale. They had helped in finding a means to destroy him and, after a very complicated ritual was translated and completed, Acathla was no more.

Willow had finished the spell to re-ensoul Angel, thankfully without any interruptions. It was hours later that Spike confirmed that the spell had been successful. He had arrived at the mansion and found Drusilla wailing madly about how her Daddy was all gone and the Angel beast was back.

*Flashback*

Drusilla hissed at Spike as he entered the mansion, trying to slash his arm as he reached for her. She knew what he had done.

Spike smelled of the Slayer’s tears and blood, and it was obvious to Dru that he had helped Buffy and her friends re-ensoul Angel.

Grabbing the woman he had once loved completely by the arm, Spike forced Drusilla to her feet.

“You have only one chance, Dru. Leave Sunnydale and don’t come back or I promise you…” he growled. “I’ll be the one that puts a stake in your heart.” He pushed her to the ground, disgusted by the sight of her.

“My poor Spike,” Dru sighed, running her hands through her hair. “All gone. You’re all lost. She’s all around you…Sunshine.” Dru’s eyed narrowed as she met his eyes. “She will burn you all up, your pretty little Slayer. She makes you soft, makes you weak, makes you think you can be good.” She let out a laugh. “But I know my prince.” Dru stood, taking a few steps closer to Spike. “I made you. I know what you are,” she whispered in his ear. “You’re a bad puppy!” Dru growled before giggling like a child gone mad.

“I mean it, Dru.” Spike growled, stepping back. “Leave now!” Before he could stop himself, he pulled out a stake out from inside his duster.

“My poor Spike,” Dru sighed. “Not even I can save you now. She’s going to ruin you,” she sobbed, before she started slowly backing away from Spike.

Taking a deep breath, Spike put the stake back in his coat pocket, shaking his head in disbelief. “She’s completely gone carrot top. Absolutely bonkers.” He couldn’t help but think as he continued on, stepping into the next room.

That’s where he found him, Angelus. He was cowering near the fire place sobbing and it was clear to Spike that he was no longer Angelus.

The vampire before him was Angel.

Spike almost felt sorry for him, he looked haunted, tormented by the things he had done as Angelus. When he heard him whimper Buffy’s name, he couldn’t stop himself.

Spike flew across the room in record speed and grabbed Angel by the shirt, yanking him to his feet, yelling, as he began his assault.

“How dare you speak her name after what you did?” He hissed, bringing his fist down to smash into Angel’s face. Angel made no attempt to defend himself, fuelling a rage building inside of Spike.

“You are nothing! You don’t deserve her. Who gave you the right to put your hands on her?” Spike yelled, his face red with rage.

Spike wasn’t sure how many times he hit Angel but when he finally stopped his assault, the other vampire was unconscious. Spike wanted nothing more than to drive a stake right through Angel’s un-beating heart, but when he reached for his weapon, Buffy’s words stopped him.

She had asked him, almost begged him, that if he found Angel’s soul had been returned to not kill him. Spike was hesitant at first to do what Buffy was asking but when she explained that it was something she needed to deal with herself, Spike had understood.

He had given her his word that he would not kill Angel.

Dropping Angel to the ground, Spike looked down at his beaten and bloody face in disgust. He couldn’t believe that this was the same man he had once wanted to be like, had once admired. Angel looked so weak and broken, and the memory of what he had done to Buffy made him sick to his stomach.

With one last glance, Spike turned to leave. He had kept his word; he had left Angel alive…

Barely…

But still alive.


*End of flashback*


Spike took one last drag of his cigarette before dropping it onto the front porch and stubbing it out with his boot. He raised his fist to knock on the front door and didn’t have to wait long before Joyce opened it with a smile.

“Spike, I see Giles delivered my message to you.” She smiled, he simply nodded.

“Did he give you the cell phone I got for you?”

“Yes, but it wasn’t necessary for you to go to all that trouble. I’m never far away,” he informed her.

“Well, when I realized that you had moved out of the mansion I thought it would be best ifwe have a way of contacting you and Giles agreed.” Joyce explained. “Come in.” She smiled and stepped aside so he could walk past the threshold and into the house. Closing the door behind him, Spike turned to face Joyce.

“I couldn’t stay in the mansion with him anymore, not after…. honestly it was getting harder and harder to keep my word to Buffy.”

“Of course,” she whispered. Joyce hadn’t seen Angel but she knew that he had approached Giles at least once.

Giles had refrained from killing the vampire but only because Buffy had asked him to, he had told Angel to leave and to never come near him or his Slayer again. He wasn’t going to be held accountable for his actions.

“The way I hear it, you barely left him alive after your last….encounter.”

“I wanted to kill him. If it wasn’t for Buffy I would have.”

“I understand why you had to leave the mansion.”

“Yeah, well I couldn’t stand him brooding and whining for a moment longer.” Spike said, smiling, desperately trying to lighten the mood. It worked because Joyce laughed softly.

“I’m making hot cocoa, could I tempt you?” She offered as she headed for the kitchen. Spike was hot on her heels as he eagerly followed.

“Please.” He replied, taking a seat at the kitchen counter.

“Marshmallow?” Joyce asked, not bothering to turn around. If she had, she would have seen Spike’s face light up like a small excited child.

“Yes, please,” he replied eagerly, watching Joyce as she turned around, two cups in her hands. She gently placed both drinks on the counter top and took a seat across from Spike.

“So where are you staying now? If you don’t mind me asking.” She spoke, after having a few sips of her warm drink.

“A small crypt in a cemetery not far from here,” he informed her. “Is Buffy not home tonight?” Spike asked, taking notice of the fact that he couldn’t hear anyone else in the house.

“No. She’s at the library with Giles training. She decided to return to her patrolling,” she informed him.

“That was quick.” Spike said. He was a little shocked. He had taken over Buffy’s patrolling duties, to everyone’s surprise, and let her know that he was going to keep the Hellmouth safe until she felt ready to return to her slayer responsibilities.

“Well the supernatural counsellor Giles has had her seeing says that she is doing much better.” Joyce replied. Spike noticed that she sounded far from convinced.

“You don’t agree?”

She looked up at Spike, tears glistening in her eyes.

“Buffy is a very capable and strong young woman but she was raped and almost killed by someone she trusted and loved,” Joyce let out a deep breath. “It takes more than one month to get past that… I hear her atnight crying, tossing and turning and even screaming in fear…. She has nightmares of what happened that night. She’s so lost, Spike,” Joyce met his eyes. “It takes me hours to calm her down. But one thing every night is always the same… you”

Spike looked up shocked.“Me?” he asked, confused.

“She cries for you,” Joyce whispered softly. “Begs me to go find you. I went to the mansion a few nights ago,” she let out a sigh. “Thankfully Angel was out, and I realized you had moved. I asked Giles to give you the cell phone…. I don’t know if it’s because you were the one who saved her that night, or if it’s simply because over the past couple of months Buffy has grown close and dependent on you, but what I do know is that, ” Joyce met his gaze, “she needs you. If she has any chance of getting through this… you may be her only hope.” Tears were streaming down her checks as Spike laid a supportive hand on hers.

“What do you need me to do?” Spike asked. He would do anything for the Summer’s women, he was thrown at times by how much he cared and worried for them both.

“I want you to move in with us.” Joyce blurted out abruptly.

“Joyce, I understand you’re worried about Buffy but you don’t want me living in your house. I’m a vampire… an evil vampire. I have no soul!”

“Of course, I forgot.”

“You shouldn’t.” Spike replied, standing and making an attempt to leave. Joyce’s next question stopped him dead in his tracks.

“How long has it been…since you fed off a human?”

He spun around to face her.
“That’s different! It was part of the deal I made with Buffy,” he replied, sitting back down.

“Right… but the deal is over isn’t it? I mean, you have stopped Angelus and Drusilla…they’re no longer a threat. Sunnydale is safe again and yet you still haven’t gone back to feeding off humans…why?”

“I just…. I haven’t….” Spike didn’t have an answer. The truth was he hadn’t felt the need to go back to feeding off of humans, the thought hadn’t even crossed his mind. Animal blood wasn’t that great tasting but he had found ways to make it more appealing by adding cinnamon or spices, he had even grown to like it. Spike wasn’t sure if he even wanted to return to feeding off of humans, not after how close he and Buffy had become. He knew if he did that his…relationship, friendship, whatever it was he had with Buffy, would be over in an instant and they would be back to being mortal enemies. The thought scared him more than he cared to admit.

“You haven’t even thought about it, have you?” Joyce asked, slightly shocked. While she knew Spike didn’t want to ruin what he had with Buffy by returning to feeding off humans, she didn’t think that the thought hadn’t even crossed his mind…. “Oh yeah he’s real evil,” she couldn’t help but think sarcastically.

“Answer one more question for me. What are some of the evil deeds that you’ve done lately?” She asked, watching as Spike sat opposite her, stunned in silence.

Joyce really had him stumped, he couldn’t think of a one thing. “Oh yeah I’m really scary. The Slayer really has you whipped. Snap out of it!” his mind yelled at him but he knew it was too late for that.

“Was it when you saved my daughter from Angelus instead of joining in? ....or when you rushed her to the hospital instead of finishing the job he started? ....or when you swore to watch over the Hellmouth until she was ready to return to her duties?” Spike just looked down at his cup of cocoa. What could he say? She had him trapped.

“I still don’t know if it’s a good idea,” he whispered weakly.

“Why? Because you might hurt us, kill us? Would you try to kill me?”

“No, of course not, but…”

“Would you kill Buffy?”

“There was a time when I would have killed Buffy without hesitation.”

“You won’t.In the time I’ve known you, you have never lied to me or tried to hide what you really are or what your intentions are, whether they’re good or bad. Can you look me in the eyes and honestly say to me that, if you had the chance, that you would hurt Buffy?” Spike stopped for a moment, she was right, he couldn’t kill Buffy, he couldn’t even hurt her feelings. He loved the girl; Dru was right, no one could save him now. He looked up at Joyce but said nothing.

“I didn’t think so.”

“Have you discussed this with Buffy?”

“No, I was hoping that was something we could do together.” Joyce replied, and, as if on cue, Buffy walked into the Summer’s house and into the kitchen with Giles in tow.

Buffy stopped when she saw Spike sitting at the kitchen counter with her mother. It had been about a week since she had last seen him and a part of her felt like he had been avoiding her. She knew that he stopped by Giles’ place or the school library every night to give a quick report on how patrolling went before heading home, but she hadn’t been in those places much.

Buffy felt her skin go hot at the sight of him. Even before the events with Angelus, her feelings for Spike had started to change. Now, after everything he had done for her and her friends, she couldn’t help but find herself falling even harder.

“Spike? What are you doing here?” She asked, smiling.

Spike smiled back. He could get lost in her smile.

“I asked him over. I needed to discuss something with him.” Joyce said.

“Like what?” Buffy asked, slightly confused.

Giles knew what Joyce was talking about and thought it best to leave the matter between the three of them.

“Well, I should leave you all to it. Spike, have you patrolled yet?”

“No, but I’m heading out soon.”

“Perhaps you could take Buffy with you if she’s feeling up to it.”

“Sure.”

“Well, goodnight all.” Giles said, making a quick exit.

Buffy sat on the stool next to Spike, smiling briefly at him.

When he felt he bare leg brush up against him, Spike couldn’t help but close his eyes, Buffy looked at her mother in question.

“What’s going on?” she asked.

“I’ve asked Spike to move in with us. It would only be temporary until you’re feeling more…yourself.”

At first Buffy wasn’t sure how she felt, but the more she thought about it the more she liked the idea of having Spike live with her.

“Okay.”

“Love, are you sure about this?”

“Yeah, it’s cool.” Shegrinned realizing she was excited at the thought of having Spike living with her.

“Okay, I’ll move my stuff in tonight then but first I should go patrol. You feeling up to it pet?” Buffy loved it when he used his pet names on her; it sent shivers all through her body.

“Yeah, let’s go.” Buffy looked at him softly, bouncing to her feet before kissing her mother softly on the check.

Joyce watched as the pair headed into the night together, smiling at the turn of events. She hadn’t seen Buffy so happy in weeks and while she knew that the relationship between the two could potentially turn into something deeper, she couldn’t help but smile at the way things had turned out.


Chapter End Notes:
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