Author's Chapter Notes:
This is a Christmas chapter for you all my way of saying Merry Christmas!

A MAASIVE thanks to my wonderful Beta Pixiecorn (Kelly) who (even though she was working every day leading up to Christmas) managed to get this chapter beta-ed for me in just 3 short days, thanks sweetie you are the best!!!!

Also a HUGE thanks to Edgehead (Mel) for the awesome banner.
Chapter 7

Merry Christmas.

It was Christmas night and Buffy smiled as she though about the perfect day she’d had. It had started with opening presents with her mother, Spike had briefly joined them but only for a few moments, wishing them a Merry Christmas before he disappeared to his room. She’d showered quickly before enjoying a quiet breakfast together, ham and eggs with freshly squeezed orange juice. It wasn’t long after that, that the gang had showed up.

Willow, Xander, Cordy, Oz and Giles had exchanged gifts before sitting down to a family lunch. Buffy had gone up stairs to beg Spike to join them but he had declined, saying Christmas was about family. She was surprised that he had said no, even after she insisted that he was family.

After he promised to join them later that night, Buffy had reluctantly given in and rejoined the group in the dining room.

After lunch Buffy and the gang had headed to the beach for the remaindering of the afternoon while Giles and Joyce enjoyed a cup of tea at home.

Now it was night time and Spike had left for patrol over an hour ago. She was more than tempted to go help him but he had said Christmas was no night for her to be out patrolling, she should be at home relaxing with her mom. She had only given in when he promised to make it a quick patrol.

Buffy was nervous, she still hadn’t given Spike his present yet. She looked down at the small box in her hand with a small frown on her face, and hoped he’d like it.

That wasn’t his only present.

No.

She couldn’t help but smile. Tonight she planned on giving him the biggest present of all….

Her.

That’s right, she was going to tell Spike exactly how she felt about him, how much it meant to her that he had been there for her and most of all how much she was in love with him. A part of her felt bad for moving on from her relationship with Angel but she knew it was the right thing to do.

Her relationship with Angel hadn’t been the same since that night and while she knew what had happened wasn’t his fault, she also knew that part of her life was over.

She could now offer him forgiveness and had in a letter she sent him for Christmas just two days ago. She still cared deeply for Angel but she was no longer in love with him.

Spike on the other hand was a different story. The things he had done for her and her friends and family had opened her eye’s. He’d accomplished so much, all of it without a soul and had made her fall completely in love with him.

He was kind without a reason, good without a soul and she was pretty sure he felt the same way for her too… well at least she hoped.

Her mother had gone to bed about twenty minutes ago, saying she was beat. Buffy paced the lounge room, unable to sit still as her thoughts continuously drifted to Spike. It had been almost two hours now since he’d left.

Quick sweep my ass! She couldn’t help but think. She was brought out of her musings by the object of her affections walking in the front door. He hung his duster on the coat rack and looked a little surprised to find Buffy still up.

“Can’t sleep, luv?” he asked, walking into the lounge room and coming to stop in front of her.

“Haven’t gone to bed yet.” She shrugged.

“You weren’t waiting up for my where you, pet?” he asked, smiling.

“Why do you think I asked you to make it a quick patrol?” she asked, annoyed.

“I’m sorry luv, but I ran into a group of vamps about ready to snack a group of carol singers. It took longer to deal with then I thought but hey, it was ten to one.” he laughed.

She gasped in shock, ten to one? Was he out of his mind?

“What? Oh my god… are you okay?”

“I’m fine, luv. Can’t say the same for the group of vamps though.”

She let out a sigh of relief.

“But you barely have a mark on you.”

“It’s Christmas, luv. I wasn’t going to let them hurt anyone, not fair for families to get a call on Christmas night saying a loved one has been killed… I was sure to make quick work of most of them, had to chase down a few that took off… hence being late.” Her heart warmed at his words and she wanted nothing more than to kiss him but she held back for the time being.

“I got you something for Christmas,” she smiled, handing him the small box.

“You didn’t have to do that, pet.” He smiled before moving past her and over to the Christmas tree. He bent down and reached behind it before turning to face her and handed her a small wrapped box.

“Merry Christmas, luv.” he smiled, watching as she opened her present and let out a gasp in surprise. Inside the box was a gold locket with her name engraved on the front and a red ruby in the top right corner of the heart. With shaky hands she pulled the necklace out and went to put on.

“Let me, luv.” he said, moving around behind her and slipping in on. “There.” he whispered, she turned to face him.

“I love it.” She smiled, forcing herself to hold back from leaning up to kiss his soft lips. “Open yours.” He quickly ripped the paper away to show a blue velvet box, opening it he was shocked at what he saw inside. It was a silver chain which had a glass pendent hanging from in and inside the glass pendent was blood.

Her blood…. He knew, he could smell it.

“Buffy I…” he started but she quickly cut him off, taking the necklace from the box.

“It’s my own strange little way of saying I trust you… completely” he smiled gently as she placed the necklace around his neck.

“How did you get this done, luv?”

“Jewellers in town put it together for me… after a few very strange looks.” she laughed softly.

“I bet.” he smiled, touching the little vile of blood that now hung from his neck, “Buffy luv this… this means the world to me, that you could trust me like this…I can‘t believe-” He whispered looking down. She tilted his chin up, forcing him to face her as she took a tentative step forward.

“Believe it, it’s completely real.” she whispered. ‘This is it.’ she told herself, looking into his blue eyes. ‘It’s now or never.’ Her heart was pounding in her ears and her palms were sweating as she gently pressed her lips against his, kissing him softly.

Spike couldn’t believe what was happening, Buffy was kissing him…. Him… Spike, William the bloody and from the sounds she was making, she liked it to. He kissed her back with full force and wrapped an arm around her slender waist, pressing her against him firmly. He moaned at the feel of her tongue on his but when he felt her rubbing her hot mound against his jean covered erection, he snapped back to reality and stepping out of her grasp.

“Buffy…” he started but she cut him off.

“Don’t you want me?” she almost sobbed, feeling her heart clench at how abruptly he had pulled away from her. Had she been wrong? Did he not feel the same way about her as she did for him?

“Buffy luv, of course I do but…” he started, sighing. Pacing the room, he ran a shaky hand through his hair before turning to face her again.

“When I kiss you, it’s because I care about you… deeply and I know when you’re kissing me it’s about something different…” Buffy looked slightly confused at this as he went on. “What happened to you was horrible and I think that your trying to replace that memory with something else, anything else, to find away to numb the pain of what he did to you” she laughed softly at this.

“What’s so funny, luv?” she looked up at him, smiling.

“You couldn’t be any more wrong. I mean, yes that night was horrible, it was a nightmare and I would do anything to forget it but I can’t. It will be with me forever no matter who I kiss or what I do… W-when I kiss you Spike it’s because I love you.” he looked thrown, his lips were moving but nothing was coming out.

“You don’t need to say anything, I don’t expect you to say it back but I needed you to know before I do this.”

He wanted to say it back, god knows he felt it. He had never loved anyone more but he was so shocked that the words wouldn’t seem to come.

“Do what?” He whispered so softly that she almost missed it. Buffy smiled before taking his hand and leading him up stairs and into her room. She closed the door behind them, being sure to lock it before she turned to face him.

Her hands were shaking nervously as she slowly undid her robe, slipping it from her shoulders and letting it pool to the floor.

Spike stood and looked at her in awe, the only thing she had on was the gold locket he had given her from Christmas.

“Make love to me Spike.” she whispered shyly.

He didn’t think, didn’t pause, he stepped forward and wrapped an arm around her waist and around her neck and kissed her with everything he had inside him.

He kissed her how he felt for her.

Like a man in love.


Chapter End Notes:
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