Chapter 2: Another Spike in the Coffin

Confusion- a state of disorder, bewilderment; distraction. Failure to distinguish between things.



William was deaf, and blind.

Wait.

Fogginess gave way to a familiar face hovering over him smirking immorally.

He was just deaf.

Waaaaaait.

A rush of white noise invaded him and then a condescending voice.

“Wakey wakey Spikey boy.” Ulysses looked overly amused as he stood over the man entrusted to him.

“My life is a bloody nightmare,” William gave sitting up a try but opted for his current position lying still, “and what in the world did you call me?”

Ulysses teasing eyes danced down along William’s body. William followed his gaze perplexed.

“OH BLOODY HELL!” He immediately flew over- hands covering the enormous erection tenting up the thin material meant to cover him. Least they gave me some bleedin’ knickers when they dumped me in this hole.

“Well I see someone has some newly acquired info about the hows-its and whats-its of this mortal machine,” he smiled wickedly finally averting his eyes, taking a seat on the arm of a couch, “and…” he cleared his throat roughly, “what a machine it is, this Miss Summers must be quite the looker eh?”

Daggers hit Ulysses through William’s rage.

“Hey! At least we know it worked, you sporting… well… you seem to have a large, I mean vast, a vast array of human qualities, and the info to back them up,” he looked away again while the clearly embarrassed man finished adjusting himself. “You have NO idea what a relief it is to know I didn’t screw that up!”

“You mean you weren’t SURE that was gonna work? You got a lot of nerve you KNOW that,” William rose, posturing towards Ulysses, “I should RIP…”

“Already with the hostility! Ease OFF kid-o, your gonna need my help if you plan on lasting all of two-seconds in this mad-mad world, so killing me is a BIG no-no, got me!” Ulysses made every effort to sound authoritarian, but fear overshadowed it.

William backed down head hanging awkwardly, a vortex of thought swirling.

“So Spike…about Buffy, she…”

“I- I know her, but we’ve never…” His hands ran through his hair- immediately forming a new habit.

“Yeah about that…”

William cut in again, a wild look dancing over his features.

“I know how to drive, but I’ve never actually… I know ‘bout all kinds of food, but haven’t tasted… I know how to get from Piccadilly Circus to Leister bloody Square! I know what a square root is, and how fast a soddin’ cheetah runs… when daylight savings time is and to always separate colours from whites when I do m’ washin’. I know… I know that I’m so bleedin’ angry with you right now that I would take no greater pleasure then bashin’ you two days from Friday! I know when Friday is.” His eyes glazed- overwhelmed.

“You know everything that could possibly be of any relevance to you Spike, just haven’t actually experienced any of it, aaaaand judging by the pretty blue colour you’ve just turned I’d say it’s quite a bit to take on, why don’t we take a comfy seat over here before you set a new world record for consecutive times passed out, ok champ.” Ulysses led William to the tattered couch.

“Look Spike, I can’t pretend to know what feeling feels like… yup that made a whole lota sense didn’t it, “ Ulysses paused. “I have a lot of the knowledge you have now, been watching and walking the earth like an interactive video game, minus the me interacting, for a long, long time, but never in all that time have I ever felt what a human feels. I don’t get angry or sad or happy…” William grunted at the comment and fidgeted uncomfortably.

“You’ve been, for all intensive purposes, deaf, dumb and blind until now, your freaking out, I understand that, your pretty much proven why humans aren’t born adults… you are a newborn babe with the knowledge of a 25 year old and the body of a Greek God… bound to cause some problems!”

William was suddenly captivated by the weathered fabric of the couch- he began running his fingers along the ribbed arm in long deliberate strokes.

“Glad you enjoy, we spared no expense.” Ulysses giggled.

“This is corduroy,” he explained- absent minded, “I looked down and I just knew what it was… blue… it feels…” his eyes snapped upwards meeting the Angel’s, “this is wrong!”

“What? What’s wrong, the couch, we can get you a new couch I’m sure…”

“You were supposed to give me knowledge right mate? Well you forgot some things when you charred me from the inside out with your miracle touch there,” He stood frantically, “you forgot…you… I don’t KNOW what this feels like… I haven’t felt anything before and I- I cant, I can tell that it’s wrong! You made it so I know I’m WRONG, but couldn’t zap in some sensory memory!” His deep orbs popped open to full diameter. “I know what my bloody sensory memory is but have NONE!”

“Deep breaths! DEEP breaths! I can explain… it’s impossible to give you sensory memory!”

“That’s NOT explaining!”

“Look, I can tell you what a turkey is, but cant exactly transpose the feel of the feathers, or the smell of it roasting, you get me, experiences Spike, are what makes this world worth it all, free will and all that is just a simple way of saying everyone gets to experience life themselves.”

“Thanks a bunch Obe-Wan, but your fortune cookie theory isn’t much help when I’m balkin’ like a little girl cause I’m fellin’ up a couch!”

“Try and disguise your surprise a little,” a tiny giggle sounded, “and ENJOY it ace… I mean tell me that the rough texture of that crappy old couch wasn’t the best thing you’ve ever felt.”

“It’s the ONLY thing I’ve ever felt!”

“Then imagine what’s in store Spike!”

The Ex-Angel tensed, unable to give in. “Stop callin’ me Spike!”

“If the shoe fits…” He snickered.

“My name is William!”

William was an Angel, and you Buddy are anything but.”

“Brilliant, I get a new body, a new mind, some lovely new welts to accompany the body, a FREAK with wings as my only friend, and now to top it off you’re re-naming me! Kill me NOW!”

“After all this time I still forget how needy humans are.”

“WHAT?”

“In the midst of all that’s happening you still called me your friend.”

“Mistake, WONT happen again!”

“Now, now, don’t be like that.”

“ME! YOU! You made me… frail and, and…” He fell back down defeated.

“You’re not frail, not for a human at least… Spike suits this new you, your tuff and manly, very macho.”

“You mean that?”

“Would a friend lie?”

Spike arched a brow, smirking to himself.

“What I say?”

“Angels can’t lie.”

“True.”

“I guess I forgot.” Spike was picking at the fraying fabric of the piece of furniture now, something reminiscent of nostalgia written across his face.

“You just need reassurance, like everyone.”

“Not like you.” He shot a wistful look towards Ulysses.

“No, Not like me.”

“When I make amends, do I, will I…” he stopped voice unsure.

“Not my call.”

“Had a feelin’ you’d say something like that, anything ambiguous and less then helpful.” He scoffed.

Ulysses squatted down to Spike’s level. “I suggest we do what we’re here to do… and have faith.”

“Right, easier said then done Lyss.”

“It’s my job… Faithful remember, you really are a glass is half empty kinda guy aren’t you.”

“Guess so.”

“Well, before we get distracted again… about Buffy…”

“What?” A rhythmic tapping at the door startled him.

Knock- Knock

~



*A/N: These first few chapters are short but they will get longer really quick here.... looks like Spike and Ulysses have a visitor! Stick around for Spuffy shinanagins! Please review... the more love the better!*





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