Chapter 16:
William didn’t know what it was, but he knew he couldn’t stand to be around Buffy and that book for one more minute. Of all the books she had to pick up on that cart, she had to choose the one that would make him blush like a school boy. It just goes to show how much a badass was truly left inside him—almost none.
“I’m sorry I made you uncomfortable.”
The sound of her voice was a whisper behind his shoulder. He placed the last book in his hand away on the shelf before turning to face her.
“It—it was inappropriate of me to be jutting out a book like that…we’re both married after all.”
However, the funny thing was that marriage wasn’t a factor in this situation. William knew that he at least wasn’t thinking about Drusilla.
“You don’t have to be sorry love.” He reassured, “That wasn’t the issue…I promise.”
“I’m sorry anyway…”
“Don’t be…you, you were smiling and laughing and-and it’s not your fault about me being—“
“It was stupid and inappropriate though.” She argued.
“No, it wasn’t. It’s just that…that…”
“Forget it, I’m an idiot and we’ll leave it at that.”
“You’re not an idiot.” He argued.
“We’ll I sure do know how to converse well with others” she sarcastically muttered and rolled her eyes.
“No, that’s the thing pet…you do know how…I don’t.”
Buffy scrunched up her face; she clearly wasn’t getting his point.
“You’re my first woman friend that I’ve made since I got married” He explained before holding his breath. He was hoping that she didn’t care that he called her a friend.
“What happened to Spike the badass singer? No ladies came after him?”
“I—I wasn’t a badass singer…just-just a kid with weird hair that knew how to play a few notes on the guitar.”
“I find that hard to believe” Buffy muttered as she stepped closer to him, “You’re quite the catch…”
William glanced up at her through his long eyelashes and saw her admiring him were he stood, “Don’t make fun love because—“
“I’m not!” she exclaimed honestly, “Even if you didn’t have the badass attitude getup, you’re still handsome…and mysterious….and smart.”
“Don’t let my librarian title full you love…this isn’t my major.”
“Oh quit being humble and accept the compliment.” She waved her hand at his foolish act of being such a negative person.
“Not humble…”
“I’d ask you out if I met you somewhere…” she said out of the blue.
William’s heart skipped a beat. He hadn’t felt this way in a long time; it was scaring and exciting him at the same time.
“Mysterious?” he decided to not touch her comment and go back to her list of admirations that she had for him.
“Ya…” she smiled, “You never know what to expect…I like it.”
“I warn you, don’t expect a lot” he muttered.
Buffy took another step closer so that she was in arms length from him, “If you keep thinking that way about yourself I’ll be crowning you the king of being an idiot.”
“I’ve been crowned worse.”
Buffy thought enough was enough.
“Stop remembering what Drusilla said to you before and listen to me…you, you are good…” she insisted, “I’ve read your work and there is nothing I can’t imagine you failing so hard at…not with that talent. Not with that passion.”
“They are just words.”
“Words that I could never string together like that…perhaps I’m the failure here for not trying to be good at something, have talent like yours.”
William shook his head hard, “No, Buffy, no…you’re-you’re—“
“A dumb blonde that didn’t even try college because she thought following Angel around was more important” Buffy finished for him.
William sensed the sadness in her voice and somehow he felt he was to blame; maybe if he had been a more positive individual, had more self esteem, she wouldn’t be comparing her faults to try to make him feel better about his self doubts.
“Your pathway in life is never wrong pet…it leads you somewhere in the end…perhaps the scenery isn’t always beautiful and the gas is running low…but there is always a new road that is paved to venture.”
Buffy instantly smiled, “You talk like a fortune cookie…”
William blushed and looked down at his feet. It seemed that when he was around her he felt the sudden urge to speak freely—recite words of poetry without fear. “I talk like a poofter.”
Buffy frowned, “What’s a poofter?”
“Me evidently…”
He had been called a poofter hundreds of times by Drusilla and Drusilla’s colleagues back in England that he could learn to respond to the name without a second thought.
“Is that another let down on yourself?” Buffy narrowed her eyes.
“Umm…”
“That’s what I thought…”
Buffy, without hesitation, raised her hand and ran her fingers through his long curly hair, combing it back so she could see his dark blue eyes. William froze, not knowing how to respond to such a caress, he let her continue.
“Aren’t you wondering what I’m doing?” she whispered to him.
‘Playing with my heart to see how fast it goes?’he thought to himself.
“I’m looking for that man in that picture…the man with confidence…” she said before William had a chance to answer. “He’s in there…waiting…waiting to come out.”
William glanced down at her rosy lips and let out a deep sigh.
“You know how I can tell he’s not here?” she asked.
His blue eyes were still focused on her lips, how moist and plump they were. Buffy’s voice just acted as a backdrop for everything revolving around her mouth.
“Because I believe he would have kissed me instead of thinking about kissing me…”
It was like lightning came out of nowhere and zapped William—he moved ten feet away from her reach in an instant and was looking at her like a deer caught in front of headlights. Had she really just said that to him?
Without another word, Buffy backed out of the stacks of books that engulfed them and went back down the hallway toward the entrance of the library.
TBC....