Chapter 19:
The sun had already gone down when William got into his car at the library to venture home. He was in no real hurry to see Drusilla, his motivation came from the mere fact that he wanted the day to finally end—to forget that he had hurt Buffy.
“I can’t…” he whispered to her, unable to meet her eyes.
“Please Will…you have to find a way to go…even if it’s without Drusilla.”
“I’ll never live it down if I don’t go to dinner with her father.” William explained.
“Why? What’s so great about him?”
“He owns Wolfram and Hart…”
Buffy’s eyes widened in surprise, she never would have guessed.
“He’s control over things is more than you can imagine.” William continued, “More than just the firm…”
Buffy let it sink in for a moment, “He controls you?”
“I didn’t say that.”
“No, but what other way could you have meant it?”
William clenched his jaw and flared his nostrils, “I didn’t mean it that way.”
Buffy let out a deep breath, she couldn’t fight with him when she was trying so hard to convince him to go to this party with her. She reached out and grabbed the invitation off the counter and put it in her purse.
“Can’t you convince Drusilla to see him another night?”
“He’s flying in from Paris for only a day…I can’t.”
“Can’t or won’t?”
William’s eyes flashed up to meet hers, “What do you want me to do?”
“Stand the bloody hell up to her.” Buffy decided to use his choice of words, hoping it would get through to him somehow.
“I don’t see you doing the same.”
Buffy should have expected the hit; she was obviously not practicing what she preached.
“It’s different for me.”
“Why do you get to make excuses and I can’t?” he muttered harshly.
“I’m not making excuses…I’m—“
“Making excuses.” He finished for her, “It’s easy to give someone else advice, isn’t it? But God forbid you use it for yourself.”
He didn’t mean to be so harsh with her—to go on and flat out tell her the truth, but listening to her suggest to him on how to find peace while she drowned was ridiculous. It was more than ridiculous—it was impossible.
The silence between them seemed to stretch on forever. It was the interruption of a innocent college student that broke the tension.
“Can you tell me where I would find this?” a young brunette freshman asked as she slid a tiny piece of paper in front of William.
William held his stare with Buffy for a few more seconds, hoping she’d relax or maybe brush off his comment.
“I asked the guys on the fourth floor and they know jack about Greek Mythology…they said you know your way around here more.” The girl continued on without a care in the world.
“Buffy…”
“I got to go.” Buffy whispered as she turned around and slowly walked toward the exit.
“Buffy!” he said a little louder from behind the desk.
If he was ten years younger he would have ran after her, but the mere thought of him doing it now was asinine. In his eyes she was the hero and he was the weak damsel in distress. She had more fight inside her while he had a hollow heart. She couldn’t easily be broken while he already had missing pieces to himself. But now…now, he realized how much power he had over someone.
He hurt her. For over ten years he never hurt Drusilla, a woman that deserved more emotion and psychological pain than anyone, and he went out and hurt Buffy.
As William started his car and made his way out of the parking lot and towards home, he vowed one thing to himself—to somehow stop being what he thought he was…what Drusilla wanted him to be, and be the man Buffy was searching for—her hero.
TBC...