Buffy was leant forward on the counter, head in her hands. Today had to have been the most monotonous day of her entire life. Or at least she hoped it was, because she couldn’t go through that again. She hated this routine; she needed excitement, she needed change.
But she couldn’t afford to change; she was stuck here, she was stuck with this.
She rubbed her brow roughly, hoping to erase the nagging pain that was there, but it didn’t work. The pain wasn’t just from being in this dive all day, serving and taking orders and serving again, walking up and down and to and fro. No, the pain was also an aching reminder, telling her to face up to something she’d forgotten.
She didn’t want to. She wanted everything to go away right now. She couldn’t deal with anything real, she could only just deal with the monotony.
Suddenly the bell on the front door jingled and Buffy tensed, looking up exhaustedly when she remembered she’d forgotten to lock up. She was relieved to see it was only Faith walking through the door and her body relaxed again.
Faith looked quickly at the clock noticing it was past closing, and then gestured to the sign on the door waiting for a response from Buffy.
Buffy nodded thankfully and Faith turned around and changed the sign from open to closed. She also shut the lock behind her and then walked over to where Buffy was standing.
Buffy smiled affectionately at Faith when she got a little closer.
Faith took a seat at the counter and smiled back. “Ready to go?”
“Yeah, just give me 5.” she replied already reaching behind her and untying her apron. Carrying it into the back with her she opened her locker and threw it in.
She paused, turning slightly. Checking herself in the mirror she could see the strain of the day written all over her face. She ran her hands over her cheeks thinking she looked pale and drained of colour. Her hair was scraggy, so she let it down and ran her fingers through it. There were bags under her eyes, which she sighed at; only a goodnight’s sleep could fix them, and she didn’t remember what one of those was.
Staring at herself she felt older than her years, and for a moment she got lost in her reflection and wondered if that’s what the future held for her.
Shaking the feeling off she grabbed her coat from where it was at the back of her locker, pulling the whole thing roughly out by the sleeve. She heard a light tap as something that had been pulled out along with it fell to the floor. Sighing again she reached down and scooped it up. That’s when she realised it was the letter from the newspaper, the one Riley’s friend worked for, the one she got a week ago asking her if she wanted an interview for an assistant’s job, the one she got a day after the CD from Spike.
Buffy stared at the letter, wondering what to do. She’d stuffed it in there hoping she wouldn’t have to deal with it, and now here it was again. Was this what was nagging at her before? Did she really have to answer it now? With everything that was going on? She huffed, not wanting to make a decision, and screwed it up slightly in her frustration.
She threw it behind her onto the table; she was startled when she saw Faith lingering in the doorway.
“Was wondering where you’d got to.” Faith said as if answering a question she hadn't been asked. She eyed the table and then Buffy. “You okay?”
“Never better.” Buffy said with a beaming smile, trying to cover up. She turned back to her locker and grabbed her purse. She was shutting the door and about to lock it closed when she heard Faith move forward and speak.
“B, what’s this?”
Buffy turned to her and saw she had the letter in her hand. “That?...Erm…Its nothing.” she said collecting herself and turning the key. She faced her friend with a smile and walked as if to leave. The last thing she needed was another lecture about how she needed to get a grip, and if Faith saw the date on the letter she’d go crazy.
“Dear Miss Summers. This letter is to inform you of an opening…blah blah…you have been recommended…blah blah…Please contact us if you are seeking an interview for this position…” Faith said reading out various lines of the letter that she could before Buffy grabbed it out of her hand.
“It doesn’t matter, I’m not going.” Buffy said in her defence when Faith looked confused.
“What do you mean you’re not going?” she asked, “Aren’t you at least gonna call them and arrange an interview?”
“I…” Buffy paused and looked down not knowing what to say to her, as she didn’t really know why she wasn’t going to call herself, “It’s just an assistant’s job.”
“Better than being here.” Faith almost laughed, then she took a more serious tone, “It’s at a newspaper!…B, this could be your chance to work your way up to the job you’ve always wanted. This is such a big deal, I don’t under…” She paused suspiciously, finally catching on, “Wait, when did you get this letter?” Faith asked. Buffy was acting oddly. This was something which she would have been jumping for joy at receiving a few months ago, but now she was avoiding it like the plague. There would only be one reason for her to do that.
“What?” She looked back at Faith.
“When?” Faith repeated harshly.
“It doesn’t matter.”
Faith huffed. “I bet I can guess.”
“Faith, give it a rest please?” Buffy whined.
“I’m not having a go B, okay? You were right; I needed to back off when it came to guys, and I have. You need your time. I’m giving you your time, you know why? ‘Cause you’ve got your whole life to meet guys…But this?” she stressed snatching the letter away from her and holding it up, “this is a one-chance deal.”
Buffy took a deep breath, knowing for once she couldn’t tell Faith to shut up, because she was a hundred percent right. This wasn’t Faith saying what she would do or what she would want in Buffy’s situation, this was Faith knowing what Buffy wanted, and knowing she was too afraid to go for it.
Buffy slumped down into the chair nearest to her.
Faith pulled out the one opposite and was quiet for a few minutes while she looked at Buffy, practically seeing her mind ticking over. When Buffy finally looked back at her Faith gave her a soft smile. “B, Look. I know you’re hurt okay, and I know since you ran into him again you’ve been miserable.”
Buffy knew it was true, but it was hard to hear that. For a while she’d gone on as normal, but since the letter and the CD she had been a complete mess, worse than the first time when he’d actually left her.
Faith continued sadly, “And I know there’s not much I can do about it. I hate to see you this way, knowing I can’t help you feel better.” Buffy looked up to say something comforting, but Faith cut her off, “But what I can do is not let your life pass you by, because I don’t want you to find that when your ready to deal with it, it isn’t there to deal with anymore.”
She didn’t know what to say to that, but she knew it was true. She’d hidden the letter away hoping she wouldn’t have to deal with it, not really thinking of the consequences, that the reason she wouldn’t have to was because eventually there’d be no job to apply for. No shot to take.
“You said yourself that he’s moving on, he’s making something of himself.” Faith paused wondering if she should have phrased that differently, but for the first time it looked like she’d gotten through to Buffy, so she finished what she wanted to say, “Don’t you think its time you did the same?”