Chapter 11
The rest of the weekend flew by. Dinner with Buffy’s mother wasn’t as bad as Spike had thought. She’d been curious about the black eye, but when Buffy had explained what had happened, Joyce had commended Spike for standing up for her daughter, saying she wasn’t surprised, as they’d always had each other’s backs.
Joyce had also let Spike know that she was glad that Buffy had him, because these days, there weren’t a lot of guys who would do that for a girl. Spike had just nodded his head and thanks, and it was then that both Buffy and Spike knew that Joyce had given them her blessing.
Now it was Monday, and by lunch, everyone was talking about the fact that Spike, Angel, and Parker all looked like they’d been in a fight, and somehow, everyone had been able to piece together their own theories, and it was common knowledge that Angel and Parker were pretty good friends, so it had to have been two on one, and now all of the girls were looking at Spike like he was some sort of hero taking on the two football players like he had.
However, the bigger news in Buffy and Spike’s group of friends was that Willow and Oz were officially a thing. Every time she was asked about it, Willow’s cheeks would redden. But she was happy, and Buffy was thrilled for her friend. Oz, being the great guy he was, knew that Willow was uncomfortable talking about all of this with everyone, so he cleared his throat and turned to Spike.
“So, you thought anymore about the job?”
“I already told you I can’t,” Spike said quickly.
“What job?” Xander asked, crunching on a few French fries.
“Oz offered for Spike to be lead singer of the Dingoes,” Buffy explained.
“And you said no?” Xander wondered, wide-eyed. “Do you know how many girls would die to go out with you just for the simple fact that you’re in a band?” Buffy cleared her throat. “Oh. Right. No wonder.”
“Excuse me?” Buffy asked, raising an eyebrow.
“Well, I can understand why you wouldn’t want Spike to…”
“I told him I thought he should do it. But he doesn’t want to, so I’m supporting him,” Buffy pointed out. The tension at the table grew thick enough to cut with a knife, so Spike cleared his throat.
“Just isn’t the right thing for me right now.”
“Well, I was gonna explain more to you if you accepted,” Oz pointed out. “We’d only be working on weekends until graduation. Then whenever we’re needed during the summer. As soon as fall classes start next year, we’ll be back to the weekends. It’s really flexible, man.” Spike seemed a little more interested that way. “We wouldn’t travel out of Sunnydale unless the pay’s good.” He looked at Willow and squeezed her hand under the lunch table. “Don’t exactly wanna travel far right now, myself.”
Spike and Buffy shared a little smile, knowing that very feeling.
“Look, why don’t you just say it?” Cordelia broke in. “You’ll be close enough that your girlfriends can come see the shows, and you won’t have to miss a single minute with each other.”
“Geez, Chase. Jealous, much?” Xander snickered.
“Shut up, doofus,” Cordelia growled, standing up and walking away. Xander furrowed his brows.
“Is it just me or are her putdowns getting weaker?”
“Whaddya say, man? The pay’s good,” Oz continued, turning back to Spike. Spike glanced at Buffy who gave him an ‘I’ll support you in whatever you decide’ look, and he looked back at Oz.
“Can I get back to you?”
“Just let me know by Friday night. Saturday at the latest, ok?”
“I can do that. Thanks.” And then the conversation was over. The couples coupled up, and Xander spotted Anya across the cafeteria.
“Well, I’ll let you lovebirds get to…lovebirding.” With that, Xander was off to see his girlfriend, completely oblivious to the glare targeted directly at him from across the cafeteria, courtesy of Cordelia Chase.
***
When Spike pulled onto Revello Drive that afternoon, both he and Buffy were surprised to see Hank’s car parked outside.
“Want me to come in?” he asked, pulling up behind the car.
“No, it’s ok. Um, I’ll call you when he leaves, ok?”
“Sure, luv,” he agreed. He leaned over and kissed her softly before she got out, gathered up her book bag, and headed bravely up the sidewalk to the front door. She could already hear fighting coming from inside. She thought for a moment about asking Spike to come in with her, but she decided against it. She didn’t want to have to involve him in this right now.
So, she turned and gave him a little wave before turning the doorknob and stepping inside. She closed the door loudly, and the fighting ceased. She put her book bag in the hall closet and headed back to the kitchen.
“Buffy?”
“Yeah, Mom, it’s me.” Buffy crossed her arms and walked into the kitchen. Her mother was doing the dishes, and her father was standing next to her, his arms crossed just like his daughter’s. “What are you doing here?”
“Hey sweetheart,” he offered.
“What are you doing here?” she asked again.
“Buffy,” Joyce warned.
“No, Mom. I wanna know. It’s been over a week, Dad. Forgot how to dial a phone? Or were you too busy with your new family to care about what you left behind?”
“Buffy, that’s not what happened, honey. I was giving you some time.”
“Time? Yeah, thanks, Dad. Just what I need when I find out my parents are getting divorced. Space. The absence of a parent.”
“Buffy, please,” Joyce begged. “Just…talk to you father. He has something he wants to tell you.” She could see the concern and the disapproval in Joyce’s eyes, but she could also tell that it was one of those moments in which she had to bite her tongue for her child’s sake.
“Why, Mom? You were just yelling at him. I could hear you from the front porch.”
“Buffy, why don’t we go sit down in the living room?” His tone was serious. It was that familiar tone she’d heard growing up, every time her father had something to tell her that might make her upset. Suddenly, she wasn’t the pissed off teen anymore. She was the worried little girl.
“Dad?”
“Just…please. Come with me.”
“O…ok.” Buffy swallowed hard, and she followed him into the living room. Once they were seated on the couch, Hank didn’t seem to know what to do with himself. “What’s up, Dad? You look…I don’t know, scared?”
“I guess I am, a little.”
“Ok. Why?”
“I’m leaving, Buffy. I’m moving to New York City.”
“What?!” Buffy asked, the part of her that had wished he’d go away suddenly dissolving.
“My company transferred me, and I’m leaving next month.”
“Dad…”
“And I want you to come with me.” Buffy’s eyes widened even more, and her jaw dropped. “Honey, I know it’s your senior year, and if you want, you can finish out your year here and the come to New York. There are lots of good schools, and I think you’d have a great time.”
“Dad, you want me to move? Away from Sunnydale? Away from Mom?” Away from Spike?!
“Sweetheart, I think it’d be a great opportunity for you.”
“And Lydia’s going? And her kid?”
“Buffy…Lydia’s not going with me. No.” She saw Hank’s gaze falter.
“I don’t wanna move, Dad. I wanna go to school here. I don’t want to leave my friends or…or leave Mom.”
“I know you feel closer to your mother right now, and I understand that. I haven’t gone about anything the right away during this divorce.”
“No, you really haven’t,” Buffy muttered.
“But I do love you. And I’m going to support you in whatever you choose. I’ve already set up an account for you, for when you go off to college. It’ll help you with expenses and things like that.”
“You…”
“Your mother put the information in a lock box upstairs, and she’s going to give it to you when you graduate.”
“You didn’t have to…”
“But, Buffy, just…think about it. Your Mother…she doesn’t want you to go, but she’s already told me that if you want to, she won’t stop you, because you do need to open yourself up to new experiences, new surroundings. New people.” Buffy shook her head, disbelieving what was actually happening.
“I don’t wanna leave, Dad. Maybe…maybe sometime I can come and visit, but no. No, I don’t wanna move. I wanna go to college here. I want to be with my friends.” Hank sighed softly.
“Your mom told me about you and Spike. I think it’s great that you’re dating. But he’s been your friend so long. If you just met some more people…maybe you’d realize that what this is with Spike is just…it…it feels safe.” Buffy stood up quickly.
“You don’t know anything about me and Spike.”
“I know that you’re scared and you’re vulnerable right now, with what your mother and I are going through, and you’re afraid to be alone.”
“Don’t even attempt this psychology crap on me, Dad. Just because your shrink tells you this stuff about me doesn’t mean it’s true.” She shook her head. “I’m not going.”
“Buffy, I…I need you to reconsider.”
“Why? Why should I even think about going anywhere with you?” She watched her father hang his head, take a deep breath, gather his courage, and look up into her eyes.
“Because I need your help.”
“My help?”
“Buffy…there’s a lot you don’t know about Lydia.”
“What’s any of this got to do with her except for the fact that you all of a sudden decided that you’d rather have sex with her than with Mom.”
“It wasn’t like that. It wasn’t…it wasn’t an all of a sudden situation.”
“What are you talking about?” Buffy slowly sat back down, fear creeping back in.
“Buffy…your mother knew for quite some time that I wasn’t…that…”
“That you were a lying cheat?”
“Ok, I deserved that.”
“Yeah, you sure did.”
“Buffy, hear me out.”
“Fine. Go on.”
“Buffy, I started seeing Lydia several years ago.” Buffy suddenly felt her heart hammering against her chest.
“How long ago?”
Hank frowned. “About six years ago,” he admitted. Buffy’s jaw tensed, and she looked away, uncertain if she could possibly feel worse than she did at this very moment. “Lydia’s daughter’s….”
“My sister.”
“Buffy…”
“You…you’re her dad, aren’t you?”
“Yes. But, Buffy…Lydia and I…we decided not to see each other anymore before she found out she was pregnant. I told her I wanted to be with you mom, and she accepted that. I just…this past year, I’ve started to…”
“I don’t wanna hear anymore,” Buffy muttered. “I just…I can’t.” She stood up and turned back to her father.
“Does Mom know? Does she know about…”
“About Dawn?” He watched her nod. “She knows. She…she knew.”
“What?!”
“She knew about Lydia back then. We were going to counseling. We didn’t want to scare you, so we kept our troubles a secret. When she decided to give me another chance…well, I just…I told her I’d break it off with Lydia. And I did. But then I found out about the baby, and I told your mother. She gave me a choice.” He stood up and placed his hands on his daughter’s shoulders. “I chose you and your mother, Buffy, because I knew that Lydia’s baby would be well taken care of.”
“And now?!”
“Now, Lydia’s gone.”
“What?”
“She…she left. She said it was my turn to take care of Dawn, Buffy. She left me with a five-year-old, and I...I just…I need you to meet her, Buffy.”
“No!” Buffy exclaimed. “You’re a liar. I’m just…I don’t want anything to do with you…or this…this freak show.” She held up her hands and shook her head, backing away from her father. “No.”
“Buffy…” Buffy turned to see her mother standing here, eyes filled with tears.
“You knew! You knew that he had another kid? And you didn’t tell me?”
“Buffy…we did what was best for you at the time. I didn’t know he was going to go back to her. I didn’t know, and…”
“You lied, too.” Buffy felt her tears beginning to fall. “I can’t…no.” She grabbed her bag out of the closet and headed to the door.
“Buffy, wait!” Joyce called.
“No! Just stay away from me!” And with that, she rushed out the door, slamming it behind her. She could hear her parents calling after her, but she ran fast, sprinting down the street. And they didn’t follow. She knew from past experiences that they were giving her time to cool off. But she didn’t want to see them. She wasn’t sure she ever would after this. It was bad enough that her parents’ seemingly perfect marriage had ended, but what was worse was that image, that nice, comfortable, happy image of the kind of life she wanted, before all of the pain and the cheating, that was a lie. Her life had been a lie for six years.
***
Spike was startled when he opened the door to see her standing there in a fit of tears, much like she’d been the night she’d found out of her parents’ divorce. Only the moment the door opened, she dropped her book bag in the doorway, and her shoulders slumped.
“Buffy?”
“Would it be ok…” she sniffled, “I mean…if you don’t mind…could I maybe…” She was borderline hyperventilating.
“Breathe, luv,” he whispered, placing his hands on her shoulders. “Look at me.” She blinked up at him, and he was a bleary shape thanks to her tears.
“Can I stay here for a while?” He blinked in surprise, and he felt her shoulders tremble in his hands.
“What happened?”
She only shook her head and began to sob aloud. He drew her into his arms and stroked her hair as she bunched his shirt in her hands.
“S’alright, kitten. You can stay for as long as you need.”
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