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Chapter 12

“You should answer that, luv. They’re gonna freak out soon if you don’t.”

“I don’t wanna talk to them.”

“Please, luv. Don’t want them to worry.”

“Fine,” Buffy grumbled, picking up her cell phone and opening it up. “What?”

“Buffy? Are you ok?”

“I’m fine, Mom.”

“Where are you?”

“I’m at Spike’s.”

“Honey, please come home. We need to talk about this.”

“No, Mom, we really don’t. At least not right now.”

“Buffy…”

“Look, I’m staying with Spike for a few days, and…”

“No, you’re not!”

“Yes, I am, Mom. He told me I can sleep in his bed, and…”

“Buffy!”

“He’s taking the couch, Mom,” she lied.

“I don’t like this, Buffy.”

“I don’t like that you lied to me for the past six years. I’m not ready to talk to you, but Spike’s bringing me by later to get a couple changes in clothes. I just can’t stay there right now, Mom. You have to give me some space, because I’m not ready to talk to you.”

“Buffy, I’m sorry you’re hurting.”

“Yeah,” Buffy said quietly. “Can you just make sure he’s gone when I get there?”

“He already left, hon. He’s worried about you.”

“Since when do you defend him?”

“I’m not defending anybody. I’m just…I didn’t know things would turn out like this.”

“And you couldn’t have mentioned anytime over the past week, when he went back to her, that I happen to have a little sister?”

“Buffy…”

“I can’t do this, Mom. Please just…I’ll come home in a few days. I just need space.”

“Please, Buffy…”

“I’ll be by later to get my things.” And she hung up. She turned to Spike with tears in her eyes. “How did my life get so screwed up without my knowledge?”

“C’mere,” he urged, pulling his arm around her so she could snuggle against him on the couch. “It seems bad right now, but give it some time. It’ll get better. I promise.”

“I don’t see how. My dad’s moving away…taking my sister with him. I don’t even know her. She’s…she sort of part of me, you know? And I don’t know her. I don’t think I want to know her either.” She buried her face against his chest. “Tell me I’m having a nightmare. Wake me up.” She felt him place a kiss upon the top of her head, and then she broke down once again.

***

By Thursday, Buffy was still staying at Spike’s. She had talked to her mother on the phone, and she was almost ready to have a sit-down chat with her, but she wasn’t quite ready to come home yet. Joyce, however, had been pressing the issue. She wanted to know where her daughter was and that she was safe, and while Buffy knew this, she also knew that if she were to go home, she’d only look around the place, realizing that her parents had kept a huge secret from her for so long, and this secret was going to affect her for the rest of her life, whether she wanted it to or not. She had an honest-to-goodness flesh and blood sister out there, and even if she never had anything to do with her, it still changed her. She had a sibling.

After school, instead of going back to Spike’s, they pulled up in front of Buffy’s house. Her mother wanted to talk to her about something in person, and Buffy decided that she’d go ahead and give it a try. Spike was going to wait outside, and if she felt the need to run, he’d be there as her get-away driver.

“Sure you don’t want me to go in?”

“I’ll be ok. Thanks.” She gave him a nervous half-smile and headed up to the house, where her mother was waiting for her on the porch.

“Hey honey.”

“Hi,” she said quietly.

“Come on in.” Joyce gave Spike a little wave, and he waved back courteously. Despite the fact that he was supportive of his girlfriend, he knew Joyce cared about her daughter. Buffy was lucky to have a mother like her, even if she had kept something huge like having a sister from her.

“Look,” Buffy said quickly, sitting down on the couch in the living room, “if you wanna talk about Dad or the divorce or the sister I never knew I had, then I’m going to get up and leave right now.”

“No, no! That’s not why I called you. I’m just…I’m glad you stopped by.”

“I’m about two seconds from running through the door, Mom, so please tell me what you want to talk about.”

“I made an appointment for you with Dr. Bennett on Saturday.”

“What?”

“You’re staying with Spike….and…well, you didn’t argue with me when I suggested you going on birth control the other day. Dr. Bennett wants to do an exam and talk to you about your birth control options. Buffy, if you want me to go with you, I can. You’re on my insurance, so…”

“Yeah, ok,” Buffy said quietly.

“Sweetheart, I want you to come home.”

“I can’t, Mom.” She looked up at her mother, and both women had tears in their eyes. “I expected something like this from dad, but you? How could you not tell me?” She realized that she’d just told her mother she didn’t want to talk about this, but the elephant in the room was too distracting to not talk about.

“I wanted to. Believe me, I did, but I didn’t want to make things worse for you, but it seems that I have. I’m sorry, Buffy. When he told me that Lydia was pregnant, I wanted to deny it. But I couldn’t. He told me her parents were going to help her, and I thought that maybe…maybe he was telling me the truth.”

“But he kept her on as his secretary. How could you just…sit back and let that happen, Mom? Why didn’t you tell him to fire her or…”

“I don’t know, Buffy! I made some stupid decisions, ok? I’m not perfect. I’m just me. I wanted to do what was best for you, and I thought that the less drama the better, because if you found out…if your friends found out…I didn’t want to do that to you.” She watched her daughter blink away the tears.

“And you kept him around? Even knowing that he was going to have a baby with someone else?”

“As far as I know, Buffy, he didn’t have any contact with the baby until a couple of years ago.”

“A couple years? He’s been seeing his other kid for two years, and…”

“Buffy…”

“No! Mom, I just…”

“Please,” Joyce sobbed, “please just try to understand. I can’t expect you to forgive me, because I should have told you. I should have! But I’m asking you to try to understand that every choice I made these past six years were made thinking they were best for you. You were a happy kid, and I didn’t want to change that. Your father and I agreed that we’d keep it to ourselves, and one day we’d tell you, but…” Joyce took a deep breath. “Keeping that secret for him…it wasn’t easy, Buffy. There were times when I wondered why I was doing it. I wondered if he was really being faithful to me. And then he started seeing her again, and I was so angry, Buffy. But I didn’t want to hurt you. You and your father were so close, and I thought that if I said anything…Buffy, I’m so sorry.” Joyce buried her face in her hands, and this time, Buffy was the one apologizing.

“I’m sorry,” she whispered. “I’m sorry you had to go through that. I just…” She placed her hand on her mom’s shoulder, and Joyce looked up. “I just don’t…I don’t know how I can come back here, Mom. I don’t want to hurt you. I’m just…I’m confused.”

“I know. Just…please, try, sweetheart. I need you to try, because you’re all I’ve got left.” Buffy let out a shaky breath and closed her eyes. “I know I messed up. I was trying to protect you.” Joyce ran her fingers through her hair and shook her head. “ You’ll understand someday, Buffy. You’ll understand what it feels like to need nothing more than to protect your child from anything that might make them sad; make them feel pain.”

“Mom,” Buffy whispered, “you and Dad…I trusted you. I trusted that you guys weren’t gonna be like everybody else’s parents. You were gonna stay together, and you were gonna be there together on my wedding day.” She rolled her eyes at the next thought. “You were gonna come by and pick the grandkids up together and take them off for a weekend at Disneyland.”

“Buffy, your dad and I still love you. Very much.”

“Only he’s moving away with the sister I never knew, and things are even worse now.”

“Which is why you need to come home. We can’t work through this if we don’t try.” Buffy knew her mother was right. She hated that. But it was the truth. So, she nodded slowly.

“Just give me until the weekend, ok? I’ll…I’ll talk to Spike.”

“Honey, he can’t make your decisions for you.”

“He’s not,” Buffy pointed out. “But he’s been there for me, and I want to talk to him. He knows me better than anybody.” She looked away. “He knows me better than you do.” She could see the hurt in Joyce’s eyes, but she saw the acceptance too. After all, Spike and Buffy had been inseparable since childhood. It was only natural that they’d know things about each other that even their parents couldn’t know.

“Ok,” Joyce gave in. “Saturday, I’ll pick you up and take you to Dr. Bennett. Then we’ll go to lunch, the three of us, and we’ll talk about you coming back home. Can you live with that?”

“Yeah,” Buffy whispered. “Yeah, I think so.” She stood up, pushing her purse strap up her shoulder. “I should go. Spike and I are going to catch a movie. So…”

“Ok. I won’t keep you then.”

“Ok,” Buffy said with a somber nod. “See you Saturday.” Joyce walked Buffy to the door and watched as she got in Spike’s car. She let a few tears fall as she watched the car disappear around the block, and then she walked back inside, shutting the door behind her.


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