Chapter 14
“Morning,” Buffy whispered, greeting him with a kiss as she stood over the bed. “Feeling better this morning?”
“Much,” he murmured, rubbing his tired eyes. Last night suddenly came rushing back to him, and he sat up. “I’m sorry about how I acted last night, luv. I was…I was angry, and…”
“Worried about me. I think that warrants forgiveness. Besides, you weren’t being mean to me. You were just afraid Angel was going to try something. I don’t know what his deal is, but…”
“Oh, come on, Buffy. He’s had a thing for you for years. He’s just angry that you never noticed him the way he wanted you to.” Buffy raised her eyebrows in surprise.
“Oh.”
“Yeah.”
“Well, if it makes you feel any better, I’ll start carrying a can of pepper spray.” Spike sighed quietly. “Look, Angel and I don’t exactly travel in the same circles. We don’t hang out at the same places. Occasionally, he’ll be at The Bronze when I am, but that’s about it. Don’t worry, Spike. He was drunk when he said what he said. He wouldn’t hurt me.”
“He hurt Dru.” Well, he had a point.
“Look, Mom’s gonna be here any minute. You’re welcome to come with me, but I don’t think it would be good for our sex life if you accompanied me to a pelvic exam.” She had hoped that would get a smile out of him, but she failed. Shaking her head, she sat down on the bed and wrapped her arms around him. “Don’t worry about me, ok? If I even see Angel coming near me, I’ll pull out my phone and have my finger ready to dial 911. Ok?” Spike just nodded. The car horn honked. “Ok. I have to go. Don’t forget, we’re going to lunch after my appointment.”
“Right. I’ll be ready.”
“Good. I love you.”
“Love you too, pet.”
She kissed him tenderly and then got up off the bed and headed out to meet her mother.
***
Spike watched as Angel played basketball alone at the park. He figured by the way Angel looked over his shoulder every so often, that he was expecting someone. Spike wondered how the hell Angel was awake, let alone playing basketball after how trashed he was last night.
He knew he should leave well enough alone, but right now, Angel probably wasn’t feeling very up for a fight, so he figured this was as good a time as any.
He got out of the car and made his way across the lot. It wasn’t until he was on the court that Angel noticed him. He didn’t say a word. He just continued shooting free throws, and Spike stood at the sidelines just watching him.
After a few minutes, Angel finally moved his head from side to side, cracking his neck.
“What do you want, Spike?”
“I came to tell you to stay away from Buffy.”
“What the hell would I want with her?”
“You threatened to hurt her last night.”
“Yeah? Well, I was drunk, so whatever I said…”
“Wasn’t an excuse, O’Connor.” Spike’s voice was steady, but the look in his eyes told Angel that he could fly off the handle at any moment. “And while you’re at it, stay away from Drusilla.”
“Are you kidding me with this? What the hell does Drusilla matter to you?”
“She doesn’t mean a thing to me. Not anymore. But that doesn’t mean I want her to get herself killed. She doesn’t think right, and you know that. She clings to whatever gives her the most attention. Doesn’t matter what kind.”
“Dru and I are none of your business, so I suggest you keep your nose out of our relationship.”
“You and I both know Dru’s not thinking clearly. Never has. Probably never will. Don’t you use that to your advantage.”
“Why are you so worried about Dru? I thought Buffy was your girlfriend.”
“I’m just warning you, Angel. You cause any more problems…for anyone, and you’ll be answering to me.” His jaw tensed when Angel snickered.
“Yeah. Well, we’ll see about that. Your little girlfriend might get bored one night and come looking for some extra attention. If she happens to come looking in my direction, well, who am I to say no to a pretty lady?” Before he knew what hit him, Angel was lying flat on the pavement, and Spike was gripping him by the shirt. He poised his fist in the air and let it down hard on Angel’s nose, hearing it crack. “Fuck! You son of a bitch!”
“You ever say anything like that again, and I’ll do worse than break your nose. You even so much as look at my girl sideways, and I’ll make you regret it.”
“Which girl are you talking about, Spike? The one you’re fucking now, or the one I’m fucking?” Spike punched him again. As much as he didn’t want to keep coming to Dru’s rescue, he knew that he’d never be able to get her out of his life if she continued calling him, hurting like she was. He was washing his hands of both Dru and Angel, but he knew better than to walk away without giving Angel a warning.
“Drusilla comes near you, you walk away, you got that? I’m not her keeper. I’m not cleaning up your messes. I’m done. You stay away.”
“Yeah, but can you do the same, Spikey-boy?”
“Dru knows it’s over. I made it clear to her. Next time she calls me, I won’t answer. But if I find out you’ve done anything to hurt her, or if you’ve hurt anybody for that matter, I’ll make sure you regret ever taking a swing…or making a threat.” He let go of Angel’s shirt.
“I’m not staying away from Drusilla,” Angel called, as Spike walked away. “Buffy may be your girl, but I’ve got what you couldn’t keep. And when Buffy wises up and leaves you? Don’t think I won’t be there with a shoulder for her to cry on.”
***
Buffy stared out the passenger’s side window as her mother drove down the street, trying to keep the car straight in their lane.
“I don’t know what else to say to you,” Joyce breathed, her breath shaking as she tried to calm herself.
“I don’t know what to say to you either, Mom. I’ve told you I’m sorry. I’ve told you…”
“Well, sorry doesn’t change anything,” Joyce spat. “It doesn’t change the fact that you weren’t smart enough to use protection! Now you’re pregnant. Pregnant, Buffy! You’re seventeen years old and barely a senior in high school, and before you go to college, you’re going to be a mother!”
“Mom!” Buffy exclaimed, “I didn’t plan on this! It’s not like I wanted this to happen!”
“But it did happen, Buffy. I was so stupid to think that you and Spike would be responsible. You’re seventeen, for God’s sakes.” Joyce shook her head. “You know, I partly blame myself. I should never have let you leave. I should have called the cops when you ran off. I should have…”
“Stop the car, Mom.”
“I will not!”
“You’re not paying attention to the road, and I’d like to live to see my eighteenth birthday!”
“Don’t even get smart with me, young lady. You lost that right when you threw out everything your father and I ever taught you.”
“All you and Dad taught me? What a joke!” Buffy knew she was just making the cuts deeper, but she couldn’t stop the words from falling from her lips.
“Buffy, you have no right to speak to me that way. I am your mother whether you like it or not, and I will not--”
“Just stop the fucking car!” Buffy shouted, startling her mother into silence. Joyce coasted to a stop three blocks from Revello Drive. Buffy got out of the car and stood out on the sidewalk.
The moment her feet were on the pavement, Buffy leaned forward, putting her hands on her knees. It was then that the shock subsided, and she let the tears fall.
“I’m what?”
“You’re pregnant.”
“That’s…”
“Impossible?”
“Well…I guess…no. I just…how long?”
“Not very far along. Too soon for you to be experiencing any symptoms.” Dr. Bennett handed her a few pamphlets. “Here’s a little reading material to get you started, Ms. Summers.” Buffy looked at the three pamphlets in her hands. One was about teen parenting, another was about the joys of adoption, and the other was about choice, her right to a normal life, sans baby. “I think we’d better bring your mother in. Would you like me to tell her?”
“No,” Buffy mumbled, unable to think much past the thought of telling her mother that her only daughter was going to be a teen mom. “I’ll tell her.”
“This isn’t happening,” she cried, shaking her head. “It can’t be happening. It’s not real.”
“Get in the car, Buffy.”
“No!”
“Get in the car, right now!”
“Just leave me alone! Just go away.”
“Buffy…”
“Go!” she sobbed. Taking a few deep breaths, she stood and turned toward the car, only to watch as Joyce sped away. “Wait…mommy…wait…” And she broke down once again.
***
Buffy arrived at Spike’s, and when he opened the door, he looked around her, expecting to see Joyce. Instead, it was only Buffy, and as far as moods went, she seemed to be the polar opposite of what she’d been this morning. So, carefully, he asked the question.
“Where’s your mum?”
“She went home. I think. We had a fight.” Spike sighed and nodded, moving out of the way so she could come in.
“Wanna talk about it?”
“Yeah, I kind of have to.” She wouldn’t meet his gaze. He was suddenly very, very worried.
“Well, I’m here. You know you can talk to me about anything, so…whenever you’re ready.” They sat down together on the couch, and Buffy eyed him. How was she supposed to tell him that his life was about to change forever? Or that if he wanted, it didn’t have to change. She could do it alone.
Or there was the option that her mother immediately suggested before they left the doctor’s office. It was an option that Buffy couldn’t even consider right now.
She looked into his curious, blue eyes, and she reached out, stroking the side of his face. Buffy’s tears began to fall, and Spike’s Adam’s apple bobbed up and down as he swallowed the lump forming in his throat.
“Spike,” she whispered.
“What is it? You’re scaring me, pet.”
“I…” She let out a strangled sob before taking a couple of big, deep breaths. Spike took her hands, and she looked up into his eyes; those eyes that she could get lost in when everything else was so scary. That’s what she had to focus on when she said it. Those two words she hadn’t planned on saying for a very long time. “I’m pregnant.”
Spike wasn’t sure he’d heard her right. Here she was, sobbing before him, telling him something so life-changing, and he was doubting her words.
“You’re…what?”
“Spike,” she sobbed.
“You’re…pregnant.”
“Yes.” She buried her face in her hands. “I didn’t…oh God, Spike, I’m sorry. I didn’t…”
“Hey, hey,” he whispered. “Look at me, ok? Look at me.” Buffy snapped her head up and glared at him.
“‘Look at me?’ That’s your response? What about ‘how the Hell did this happen, Buffy’ or…or…”
“Hey,” he whispered, “we’ll figure this out. I promise.”
“You promise? How the Hell can you promise me something like that? We’re seventeen, Spike! We were stupid, and…and now look what’s happened. I’m pregnant. I’m having a baby. Your baby.” Spike felt the words sink in, but he was numb at the moment. How…well, he knew how. But…they were so careful. Well, save for that first time, and…good God.
“Oh my God,” he murmured.
“Thanks. That’s better,” she sniffled, as he handed her a tissue. “What are we gonna do, Spike? A baby…” She swallowed hard.
“Your mum…”
“She knows. She wants me to get rid of it.”
“Oh,” he said quietly. “Is that what you…I mean…” Buffy could only shake her head. “Ok. So…so not that, then.”
“Spike, I’m…I’m scared. I can’t go home. She hates me.”
“She doesn’t hate you, luv. She’s scared. Probably just as scared as you are.” He pulled his arms around her, trying not to let her feel how afraid he really was. He was trembling, but she was shaking just as hard.
“I don’t know what to do, Spike.” She swallowed hard. “I just…this isn’t right. We can’t have a baby. We…we can’t!”
“Hey,” he whispered, stroking her hair, as she curled up against him on the couch. “Breathe, pet. It’s gonna be ok.”
“Stop saying that,” she whispered. “You keep telling me that, but everything keeps getting worse. We weren’t careful enough. We…we should have been smarter, Spike. That night…”
“That night? We were pretty drunk, luv. I should’ve…I thought…” He ran his fingers briskly through his hair.
“What are we gonna do, Spike?”
“I don’t know, pet,” he admitted. And then there was a knock at the door. Buffy sat up, knowing who it was but not wanting to face her.
“I can’t,” she cried.
“It’s ok, luv. It’s ok.” He walked over to the door, feeling like his legs were about to give out beneath him. When he opened the door, Joyce stood there clutching her purse, trying very hard not to let her tears fall again.
“Is she…”
“She’s here,” he said quietly, looking away. “You can come in if you’d like.” Joyce only nodded. She took a deep breath and walked into the apartment to see her daughter sitting there, crying her eyes out, shaking, on the verge of completely breaking down again.
“Mom,” she cried out the moment she met her mother’s gaze. As much as Joyce wanted to scream at them for being so careless; so stupid, all she saw when she looked at her daughter was her little girl that needed her help.
“Oh, honey,” Joyce whispered, hurrying over to the couch to hold her. Buffy broke down in her mother’s arms, and Spike stood there, uncertain of what he should do or say. He watched Buffy, who was apparently going to be a mother herself, being consoled by her own mother, a woman of whom she’d once had a wonderful relationship with. Now everything was different. Everything had changed.
“I’m sorry, Mom,” she sobbed. “I’m so sorry…I’m sorry.”
“Shh,” Joyce whispered, rocking Buffy slowly, as she had when she was just a little girl. “It’s ok. I shouldn’t have…I shouldn’t have said what I said.” Buffy shook her head and sat up, wiping at her eyes.
“I’m scared, Mom. I don’t know what to do, and…”
“I know,” Joyce whispered.
“I can’t…I mean, I know what you want me to do, but I can’t, Mom. I just…”
“Ok. It’s ok. We have plenty of time to make a decision, ok?” Joyce asked softly. She looked up at Spike, and he half expected her to pull a gun out of her purse and shoot him right in the chest.
“Spike?”
“Y…yeah?”
“Can you do me a favor?”
“Sure,” he said cautiously. “What do you need?”
“I need you to call Buffy’s father’s cell phone. Tell him that he needs to get over here right now. His daughter needs him.”
“No! Don’t call him. Please, don’t call him,” Buffy sobbed. “I can’t deal with him right now. Please, Mom. Please…” Spike looked from Buffy to Joyce, who sighed and nodded her head.
“Ok. Ok, we’ll talk to him later.” Spike nodded, again, feeling useless.
“Joyce…er…Mrs. Summers,” he stammered, “I want you to know that I’m…I’ll do whatever I can to help. This is…this is just as much my fault as it is Buffy’s, and I won’t…I won’t let her down.” Joyce nodded but didn’t look at him again.
“I’m going to take Buffy home now. You’re welcome to ride along, but I’d like to have a little time with her.” Spike looked at Buffy, who seemed to need her mother right now, and he swallowed the lump in his throat.
“I’ll drop by later. Is that alright, Buffy?”
“Please,” she whispered with a little nod.
“Ok,” he assured her. He held open the door, and Buffy and her mother headed out. Before Buffy disappeared around the corner, Spike took her hand and gave it a gentle squeeze. “I promise you, I’m not going anywhere, luv.” Buffy nodded, sniffling and wiping at her eyes again. “I love you.”
“I love you,” she whispered back, before following her mother out to the car.
Spike watched from the door until the car pulled out of the lot and down the road. The moment he shut the door and leaned back against it, he realized something. He was going to be a father. He was seventeen, and his future was already uncertain, and he was going to be a father before he could even have the chance to start college.
“Bloody hell,” he murmured. His heart thundered in his chest, and he realized that he had nothing to offer her or a baby. What if she didn’t want to keep it? What if she gave it away? The thoughts swirled around in his head, and he shakily reached for the phone. He had to be responsible. He had to have a plan, and the only plan he could think of right now was to support her and help her however she needed him to.
He couldn’t even remember dialing the numbers, but when the voice on the other line answered, he closed his eyes and took a deep breath.
“Oz. It’s Spike. I’ll take the job.”
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