[Reviews - 288]
-
Table of Contents [Report This]
Microsoft Word Chapter or Story | ePub eBook Chapter or Story | Printer Chapter or Story

Has been viewed 2778 times

- Text Size +




Author's Chapter Notes:
Yeah...I wasn't going to do this, but I decided to go with my gut. MAKE SURE YOU CHECK OUT THE WARNING!
Chapter 18

The way it had happened had felt so completely unreal. The memory was right there, though it felt like one of those fuzzy memories from childhood that may or may not have happened. She could remember the sound of the doorbell, the whites of the officer’s eyes, the way his hand shook, as if this was his very first night on the job. Maybe it was.

She could remember the deafening sounds of sirens, the words passing through the officer’s lips, the sinking feeling, the feeling of Spike’s arms wrapping around her before she could hit the floor. But she couldn’t remember the words he’d said. Of all the things not to remember about the worst moment of her life was how she found out her world had changed once again.

He was holding her now, stroking her hair as they sat on the front porch, waiting. Her hoarse sobs had muted into silent, shoulder-shaking cries which left damp spots on Spike’s shirt but left no audible mark in the air.

The sound of car doors slamming didn’t make her look up, but she could smell Xander’s cologne and hear Willow and Cordelia’s frantic, whispering chatters.

And then all sound stopped.

Hands were rubbing her shoulders, patting her knees, soft sobs were coming from somewhere, maybe Willow. But Buffy’s world was dark. She couldn’t…no, she wouldn’t open her eyes. She wouldn’t. Because all she needed to see, which coincidentally was everything she didn’t want to see, was all there in her head, save for the words he used…the words that broke her world once again.

***

Buffy woke with a start to a knock at the door. Her first reaction was to panic. She nudged Spike, who had fallen asleep with her on the couch.

“Wake up! My mom’s home!”

“Bloody hell,” he murmured, rubbing his eyes. “Go get the door.” Buffy had practically sprinted to the door, not paying attention to the fact that the clock read one a.m., a whole hour since Angel had left. And when she opened the door, an officer, a young man with a cleanly shaved face and short cropped black hair stood there, his hat in his hand.

“Buffy Summers?”

“Yes?” she asked. “If you’re looking for Angel, I gave you his address. How are you…why are you here?”

“Miss Summers, I’m Officer….” She couldn’t even remember his name. The words that came spilling out of his mouth barely sunk in. She shook her head. Her mouth formed words that were inaudible. The tears prickled to the surface and began to fall, and then she was falling. And then arms were catching her, and she was standing again.

“No,” she cried. “You’re…you’re wrong.”

“I’m very sorry,” he whispered. “The driver was taken to the hospital, where he’s being treated. He was over twice the limit.”

“My mother. Where is she?”

“Miss Summers, I think you’re in shock. I’m…I’m very sorry for your loss.”

“No! Where is she!” Buffy cried. “Please…tell me where she is. Tell me!” She was crying into a strong chest now. Hands were caressing her back. She was pounding futilely against the very chest she cried again. “Mom…mom…”

“If you’d like to take her to the hospital, I can offer you an escort there.” Spike nodded, and he kissed the top of Buffy’s head.

“Buffy? Look at me, pet.”

“No. No…this isn’t happening.” Spike looked back up at the officer.

“We’ll go later. Thanks for…” Spike’s jaw twitched, and the officer nodded.

“Again, I’m very sorry for your loss. If it’s any consolation, we believe she died on impact. She was probably in very little pain.”

***

Probably in very little pain. That she could remember, just because it sounded like a lie. It frustrated her to no end that she couldn’t remember the officer’s name, and that she couldn’t remember the exact words he’d said when he’d told her her mother had died. Those were things she was supposed to remember vividly, right? Maybe she would ask Spike…someday.

“Buffy,” Willow whispered, taking a seat on the other side of her friend. “Is there anything I can do?” It was going on three in the morning, but Spike had called everyone, and without even a second thought, they’d come over.

“I’m so sorry, Buff,” Xander whispered. “If there’s anything any of us can do, just name it.”

“Yeah. We’re here for you, Buffy,” Cordelia promised. Their words would have been comforting if she wasn’t already numb on the inside. Spike stood slowly and gently lifted Buffy into his arms. He mouthed ‘be right back’ to his friends, took Buffy inside and carried her up the stairs. Cordelia, Willow, and Xander made their way into the living room to wait for Spike.

Upstairs, he sat her on the edge of the bed and slowly lifted her shirt off of her. Her arms flopped down as if she had no strength left, and he unfastened her bra. He retrieved a nightgown from her closet and pulled it over her head. She helped him a little when it came to the arm holes, but that was about all she could try to do.

He laid her back gently on the bed, removed her socks and her pants, and covered her with the blanket. Kneeling at her bedside, he stroked her forehead before placing a kiss there. “Rest now, luv. Close your eyes. I’ll be here if you need me.” She only nodded and blinked once, letting a few tears slip out. “Alright. I’ll see to our friends.” He kissed her forehead one more time and then turned off the light, heading downstairs.

“Is she ok?” Willow asked, brushing her own tears away.

“She’s shaken up. Understandably. Um…” His voice broke. He had to stay strong for her. He couldn’t think of what this meant right now. “Maybe come back tomorrow…she’s gonna need people. She might not know that yet, but she will.” He knew from experience. Sure, he’d been young when his mother died, but it didn’t matter. The pain was still the same.

“They know who it was. Um...my aunt works at the hospital,” Cordelia said quietly. “I know this is totally a breach of contract or whatever, but she said there was a guy brought in with injuries.” Spike’s jaw twitched, and he tried to hold his composure. “Spike, I think…I think Angel was the guy who killed Buffy’s mom.”

***

Buffy slowly opened her eyes when she smelled cooking coming from the kitchen. Her first thought was that she’d dreamed everything, and that her mother was downstairs cooking right now. But the moment she saw Spike’s boots by her closet doors, she realized that that bad dream had been a real life nightmare.

She sat up in bed, and the moment she took a deep breath, nausea hit her, and she rushed to the bathroom. A couple of minutes later, she heard tapping on the bathroom door.

“Buffy? Luv? Are you ok?”

“Yeah,” she said hoarsely. “I’ll be down in a minute.” She heard his footsteps retreat, and then she pulled herself together, splashed some water on her face, and took a few deep breaths.

When she finally entered the kitchen downstairs, she saw that Spike had made breakfast for her. Biscuits and gravy, and he’d even made the biscuits from scratch.

“Hey,” he said quietly as she sat down next to him at the table.

“Hey,” she said back.

“I didn’t know if you’d be hungry, but I thought I’d make something just in case. You should eat.”

“Yeah, I know I should.” She poked at her food with her fork before taking a little bite. It tasted great, but she had no appetite.

“It’s ok if you don’t eat it, luv. I understand.” Buffy nodded, and she pushed her plate away and dropped her head into her hands, massaging her temples. Spike reached over and gently rubbed her back. Buffy closed her eyes, thinking of the many times her mother had comforted her with hot chocolate, cheesecake, and words of wisdom after something went wrong. She always knew just the right things to say.

Buffy began to cry, and Spike felt terrible, knowing that all he could really do for her was be there, because this wasn’t something that was going to be easy for her to get over. It was still a shock to him, and it hadn’t completely set in yet.

“I’m so sorry, sweetheart,” he whispered. “I wish you didn’t have to go through this. I wish…I wish…”

“Spike,” she whimpered, turning to look at him. It broke his heart to see those beautiful, sparkling green eyes clouded with tears and pain. “She’s really gone, isn’t she?”

“I’m sorry,” he whispered.

“Why, Spike? Why is she gone?”

“I…I don’t know, luv. I don’t understand it either.” The lump in his throat was volleyball sized. “I wish there was something I could do.” Buffy blew her nose and dried her eyes. “I need to tell you something.”

“What?” Buffy asked softly. “What is it?”

“It’s about the man that…the driver.” Buffy closed her eyes, and she shook her head.

“I know who it was, Spike.” She looked over at him and slowly opened her eyes again. “It was Angel, wasn’t it?”

“I…I think so. I don’t…”

“He’s the reason my mother’s dead.”

Spike swallowed hard. “I don’t know. Cordelia’s aunt works at the hospital, and he was brought in with injuries.” He wondered how she’d react. He thought she might tear herself away from the kitchen and run out the door to seek revenge, but she was scarily still.

“Ok,” she whispered.

“Ok?”

“Yeah. He’s going to pay, right? He’s going to get what he deserves.”

“I’m sure of it, luv.” Spike looked down, and his fork clattered to his plate. “I shouldn’t have provoked him.”

“What?”

“In the parking lot. At The Bronze. If it hadn’t been for me getting in the middle…he wouldn’t have been out there…”

“He’d have been driving anyway, Spike. So stop it. Don’t even think of trying to put the blame on yourself for any of this.” She shook her head again. “No. This isn’t your fault. This is Angel’s fault.” The tears were falling again, and this time, Spike wasn’t certain they were going to stop. “And he’s gonna pay, Spike. He’s gonna pay for what he did.”

The doorbell startled her out of her thoughts, and Spike got up to answer it. When he reached the door, he was surprised to find Hank Summers standing there looking absolutely devastated.

“Hello, Spike.”

“Mr. Summers. I don’t think this is a good time.” He tried to keep his voice low so Buffy wouldn’t here. “She’s not taking it very well at all, and I think seeing you might upset her even more.”

“I just heard,” Hank whispered, his voice shaking. “I didn’t…God, I didn’t think something like this could happen.”

“Well, I’m sorry for your loss, sir, but I need to tend to Buffy right now.” He hadn’t meant to sound so bitter, but it had come out that way.

“I know what you must think of me, Spike. I don’t blame you. I just…I need to see my little girl right now. I need her to know that…”

“Daddy?” Spike turned at the sound of Buffy’s voice. When he looked at her, she looked so much like a lost little girl being reunited with her parents in the middle of the store. Relief and fear mixed into two beautiful eyes.

“Oh, Buffy,” Hank breathed, making his way into the house. “I’m so sorry. The hospital called this morning, and…”

“She’s gone, Dad. She’s…” Looking at him at that moment, she didn’t feel anger or hurt for the things he hadn’t said or the things he had done. She felt like a little girl that needed her daddy, and Spike could see it in her eyes. She needed her father. Despite their differences, she needed him, and from the looks of it, he needed her.

“I know, honey,” he said quietly. “I keep…I keep telling myself it can’t be real. She was such a good woman. She was…and a great mother.” He shook his head, and he watched as Buffy’s shoulders rose and fell with her sobs. “Come here, Buffy. Come here.” From a few steps away, Spike watched Buffy cover her face with her hands and walk right into her father’s secure embrace.


Chapter End Notes:
Feedback goes a long way....let me know what you think!



You must login (register) to review.