Love………
From Angel’s POV
I mean…I’m not entirely stupid. I know that she’s had some hard knocks. I know that since she’s come back, although physically she’s with me, she’s not, if you know what I mean. ‘Make me feel’ she says…I didn’t understand. I know my soul is anchored, I will not loose it again by the act of union with her – so I make love to her…she’s quiet…I tried to hold back…tried to make her happy. I stroke her face and smile. There, I say…did you feel? I ask. She smiles, briefly, but it doesn’t reach her eyes. She’s there…I can touch her with my hands…but it’s like she’s a million miles away. She doesn’t say anything; She leaves my embrace. I ask what’s wrong…Nothing…I must go she tells me. At first I thought it was guilt. Guilt at being alive again, guilt at not being dead still…I knew she’d take time to adjust.
But it went beyond that. Gods, if only it had been that bloody simple! Ok, so now come the recriminations, I KNOW I could have been there for her…or rather should have…but I thought she needed time to adjust. She could have turned to one of the Scoobies…then I realised far too late of course, that that was the last group of people she could have turned to, heck, they were the root cause of her problems. I was shocked rigid, when I learned that Dawn knew nothing of their plans to bring her back…so, in the end, I was fed up of being with a zombie…because that what she seemed like to me. An animated corpse…but devoid of all feeling…
I had to see for myself. She left my bed, and I just knew where she was going. To my surprise, she went home first, bathed, and changed. There was one sticky moment when I thought I’d been caught, when she was walking, or rather half running to the cemetery, that she stopped, sniffed the air almost, glanced around…but her baser needs must have been greater. Spurned on by them, she ran the rest of the way.
She entered the crypt. He’d been sitting, reading…she looked beautiful … windswept and slightly panting, there was a slight pink flush to her cheeks. He stood slowly…I wondered then if he’d been expecting her…he was already shirtless…but the look on his face said it all, he was surprised, a little trepidation in his eyes at first. Gods, he looked so bloody good. They didn’t speak, didn’t need to. He drank her in with his cool blue eyes. She opened her mouth slightly, her gaze never leaving his. Their mouths came together, soft…quick little open mouthed kisses, pecks…teasing, drinking one and other in…testing want…then they just fused. Her hands went to his face, around his neck, holding him close, closer, like she couldn’t hold him tight or close enough. Passion. Gods, I know he didn’t need to breathe, but she…her hands dropped to his shoulders, kneading the muscles. She tipped her head back and he kissed her throat, moved round, nibbled her neck…She had her eyes closed, sheer rapture on her face, her body arching towards him, she groaned in pleasure. He was teasing………himself as much as her; I know he could sense her blood, just a skin’s depth away…the pulse throbbed tantalizingly close to his cool full lips. He was whispering to her…it obviously was doing the trick, she held him even tighter; panting with ecstasy…they moved to the vault. I ran round to the grating…there…she’s naked now…but he still has his pants on…a fact that she’s rectifying right now…and still he takes his time. Still kissing, still caressing, suckling at her dusky nipples…she writhes, holds his head to her…he kisses her lower…swirling his tongue in her navel…she so obviously likes it…Likes…Christ, what an understatement! She’s begging…I can almost smell her arousal from here…Got to give the guy his due. Boy, does he know restraint! He knows her too…knows just how to touch…He’s kissing down her legs…and back up…she’s babbling…writhing, begging.
Why? I want to scream, why have you never done that for me? Why, have you never begged me…and then I realise, I’ve never come close. As far as a million miles away is, I’ve never come close …He’s there now. His prize. The apex of her thighs…head buried, she squirms and screams and cries out, loving it, loving the sensations, the pleasure he’s giving her…stroking the smooth golden skin of her legs…her hips churning towards his face…He rears over her, and seconds later, his head is buried at her neck again, and buried to the hilt in her molten depths, their hips churning, her hands clutching…her nails raking down his back, leaving raised red welts on his smooth, perfect alabaster skin…she thrusts up against him, he’s kissing her, and then suddenly, things move up a gear, and she’s crying out, begging him…please, baby, oh gods yes, you’re the best…Then…then it happens…they lock in a gaze that would have been impossible for anything other than they themselves could break…I, I love you… so much…only you…She says to him. He looks euphoric, complete, he repeats her words…love you…you’re mine… I lip-read every word…every heart-wrenching, gut twisting word. And I die again.
The pain; is indescribable. And I wait…and I wait…it’s a good job I don’t have to breathe. I wait for him to morph, I wait for him to transmogrify, and to multiply his own intense pleasure ten fold, by biting, to taste the blood of the chosen…I wait for him to morph, to make the culmination of their coupling ‘worth’ it for him…I see him climax…the orgasm is swift after her own, she makes it good for him…he throws his head back, lost totally on a sea of pure unadulterated love and passion… but… still it never comes, the transformation over him, the change that makes the man to the beast…and it never comes…they’re kissing again…so much in love in breaks my heart … because…because I know the truth now, I know just how much he’s gone against his nature to be as he is with her… to deny the beast, to renounce all that he is, just for her. He loves her. Truly, loves her. And she loves him. I’ve lost her for good. My Buffy. My slayer. Is in love with my grand-childe.
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Buffy’s POV
He tried to please me. And I tried to please him…but he’s…clumsy. No, that was unfair. He tried his best, but his kisses leave me cold, I’m never aroused…well, hardly ever. Never enough. He nuzzles my neck, ignores my breasts, except to squeeze their plump flesh…he slides a finger inside, just to see if I’m ‘ready’ for him…then that’s it. He’s inside me. I tried at first, I tried to respond…but it’s all over, he buries his head in the pillow as he morphs briefly…I know he can’t help it…nature of the beast and all that…and I thank whoever that it is over…he asks if it was good for me…I don’t answer, I just smile and stroke his face…I know where I have to go…it’s primal…it draws me like an invisible thread. Not that I need pulling…gods, I’d sprout wings and fly there, if I could. To be fair, I bathe and change. I pray he’s there…and if he isn’t, then I’ll wait…I’m running now. ‘Please be there’ running like some Mantra through my head…then suddenly, I think I get a whiff of…no, it’s gone. For the merest split second, I thought I could smell him, my old love, Angel…no. I was wrong. Probably guilt … that I quickly quash. My need for my new lover over-rides everything else…and suddenly, I’m there; I enter his crypt. And I blink in the soft candlelight. I breathe an audible sigh of relief…he’s there…he stands, he looks slightly worried…but that soon vanishes…no words are necessary, he knows why I’m there………one touch of his lips, that’s all it takes…hell, I don’t think I even need the touch, to feel alive. The look is enough. With those intense eyes of his; he can look to my very soul…but then, he touches me. It’s electric. He teases me with soft little pecking kisses…then I pull him towards me, and that’s it, I’m totally gone, I’m alive. He teases and caresses and worships my body…it sings for him…every fibre of my being is screaming for him…and he doesn’t disappoint…he satisfies the deep yearning, my need, my want…I’m alive…I realise, I can’t let this go. Ever. I want him. I’ll always want him…I love him. Want him, need him…I can’t be without him. The look on his face when I whisper words of love…I feel my heart soar, see his joy, and I know…I know I’ve made the right decision. He’s done so much, gone against everything he is, just for me. I didn’t always appreciate it. Hell, I showed no gratitude at all. But now that’s all different. He’s mine now. And I’m his. Totally, because I love him, ALL of him. The man, the beast, the poet, all mine. He’s my Spike now, and that all that matters to me.
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Spike’s POV
When she first came back…poor thing, hadn’t crawled out of her grave five minutes, literally, and she was fighting Hellions…It was the best and worst day of my very existence. They didn’t even tell me they were bringing her back. Fucking worked with them all summer, and they didn’t tell me…When she came to my crypt, the first time, well, I was shocked. Fucking dumbstruck I was. Was on very shaky ground for the first few minutes, I didn’t know what she wanted…so I sat her down. She had no stakes; no weapons at all, that was a plus, not come to end my sorry existence then. Christ! I’d thought about doing it myself often enough, end the torment of her not being alive…but I’d made a promise to her about the Nibblet and I intended to keep it. I let her talk…I listened. I remember the day she came in crying, and I just held her…gods, it felt SO good. Not the crying…It creases me to see her upset…she reached up, pulled me down for a kiss…gods, I wondered if she could hear the orchestra that struck up, see the fireworks exploding…then suddenly everything disappeared, and we were the only two people in the world…and the pinnacle was our fused lips…our first time together was blinding…the second so wonderfully amazing, the third, fourth, fifth…I learned quickly, I know every curve…every dip, every nerve ending. I know how to touch her…to make her hum, make her sing, make her cry out…and the lessons of learning this have been the sweetest things I know.
She’s like a goddess, she’s my sun, my fire…she says I make her feel alive…she whispers that no-one makes her feel like I do…and then one night…one glorious evening, she comes to me…windswept and breathless…she wants me. I’d been sitting, reading. Miserable in fact, because I knew she was with him. The door flew open and there she was…eye’s bright, cheeks flushed… I stood slowly…I’d pictured this moment a thousand times before…if she’d come to end it with me…to stop seeing me, then I’d ask her to do it properly, and to make it swift. She crossed to me, and I took a few steps to meet her, meet my fate…I looked in her eyes, I knew things had changed. She leant forward. Tentatively, I gave her a few little teasing kisses, testing her want. She DID want me…make me feel, she whispered eventually…and then the best night of my existence…I made love to her, she made love to me…and then she said it…she loved me. Only me. There was no going back now, she was mine, totally…I’d laid myself bare, made myself vulnerable, and it had paid off…she loves me. And I worship her. She’s mine now, forever, and I won’t let her down, and I won’t let her go. Ever.
The End
Author's Chapter Notes:
Just a one off wrote when I was very drunk!
Chapter End Notes:
Let me know what you think!