**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**

She was there, right there in front of him. Hell, on top of him in all her naked glory. Straddling him, riding him, moaning. What the hell was going on? He distinctly remembered she was gone…for the time being. This just seemed so real, so good. He groaned and ran his fingers through her tangled golden tresses that hung down and tickled his chest. He had always loved that feeling. Everything felt so real.

Whispered to her, "Buffy, I love you."

"Mmm, I love you, my sweet William."

Then the rush, the swell of the wave as it came crashing down all around them. 'Did she say…oh…' Another climatic surge. '…boy.' Flashes of white light ebbed behind his darkened blue eyes. God, this was good. So good. Moaned again followed by a growl as the spasms lessened.

"Buffy, please. Did you say…?"

Her head shot up and her eyes burned with hatred, glowing crimson as if the fire’s of hell consumed her. Her features changed, became harsh, dark, and ugly.

"You can go to hell!" she growled out between razor sharp teeth, saliva dripping from them.

He scurried out from underneath her, until he came up against something hard, a wall. She crawled towards him, growling and snarling.

"Buffy, oh god, I'm sorry. So sorry. I'll do anything to take back…"

"I said, GO TO HELL!"

She was merely inches from his face, her breath hot and stale. He shut his eyes tightly and turned his head away, ready for the death blow, his body shaking. Nothing happened. Opening his eyes, he turned to look at her but she was no longer there. He his chin dropped to his chest and sobs erupted slowly.

**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**

Willow peered down the basement stairs to see if Spike was still sleeping. Dawn followed her as they both made their way downstairs to witness the vampire moaning and tossing about on the makeshift cot. Willow stopped suddenly and Dawn smacked into her toppling the witch forward a bit from the sudden impact. Spike groaned again.

"Mmmm, Buffy, so good."

Willow gasped as the teenager’s eyes grew wide. Willow turned and placed her hands over the juvenile's ears but his tossing became more intense when Willow noticed the look on his face had changed from pleasure to fear. She took her hands away from Dawn's ears and scrambled around to the side of the cot sitting on the edge and trying to soothe the vampire to slowly bring him out of his nightmare. Finally she just grasped him by the shoulders to keep him from falling or hurting himself causing him to bolt upright, grabbing Willow by the forearms and squeezing tight.

"Buffy, NO! She's…gone," he whispered. Tears began to pool in his eyes and in an instant Willow saw them change shades of blue. She chuckled to herself and thought, 'He's got mood eyes', but she was still concerned about him and he was hurting her arms.

"Spike, you're hurting me."

His vision came into focus as he realized Willow was sitting right in front of him. He released his hold on her not once even noticing the pain in his head the chip was sending out and mumbled a sorry under his breath. He was still panting as he rubbed the bridge of his nose, deep in thought, and realized he had been having a nightmare.

"Are you ok? Do you need to talk about it?" Willow sincerely asked.

"Ah, Red, ever the psycho-analyst." Spike smiled sincerely at her proffered help. "Just a dream, that's all. Don't wanna bore you with details."

"Ok, if you're sure."

"Yep. Was I loud?"

"Actually no, Dawnie and I came down to visit and to…to talk with you."

"Oh, a visit from two of my favorite girls. What's up?"

Willow shook her head, "Nothing's…up…just…"

Dawn plopped herself down on the floor Indian style and broached the subject.

"You're getting the chip out, aren't you?"

Spike slowly turned his gaze to Willow who shrugged and cocked her head to the side. Spike took it as she didn't really know the story either.

"Well, bit…"

"Tell the truth."

"Yeah, yeah I am. Giles figured out that this “Big Bad” is controlling my mind."

"Is that why you turned on Buffy and took her to the hellmouth?"

"Yeah, that's why. Cause you know I would never do anything to hurt her, ever, ever again, right? You know that, right?"

"Yeah, I know. I knew something was up; Willow and I both knew, even Anya knew. Xander, well, he's always out of the loop."

"I suppose he really hates me now, huh?"

Willow piped in. "No, no actually he was just very angry, but he thought that you were possessed. I mean, if you saw you like we saw you. Your eyes were not yours; even your vampire features looked different. We all knew something really strange was going on. No, Xander even saved you from jumping into the hellmouth."

Spike shook his head in affirmation.

Dawn reached out and placed her hand on his. "How are feeling now?"

"Like I'm standing on the edge of a very steep cliff with thousands of demons charging at my back. Like I can't decide whether to jump into the bottomless crevice or stay and fight the multitude. Either way it's a risk. I don't even know if "it" can still take control of me. They have her now, but is there still more they want? It's like a foreboding shadow hovering nearby."

"Hmm, it's like in my dreams last year. There was always this shadowy figure flitting around. Never knew if it was good or evil, it was just there." Willow recalled her nightmares she was plagued with for months until she came back home. She didn't have them quite as often nowadays as well as Spike and Buffy.

"Yeah, kinda how I feel. Don't know if it wants to help or push me off the cliff."

"So," Dawn continued, "how do you feel about having the chip taken out?"

He smiled at her as he touched her cheek gently.

"Concerned about me? Don't know yet. I want it removed but it…I mean, I've had it for so long, never gave it a thought til lately. I guess I'm a bit nervous. Of the outcome really. I know I don't want to go back to what I was before it was put in. I've 'grown up' so to say. I'm a vampire, always will be, but I have a soul now, have a family." He reached out and tugged slightly on Dawn's hair.

"I wouldn't want to give all this up for the hunt and kill. Not ever again. Did that for almost 100 years. I've grown too attached to you lot."

"Good, I'm so glad to hear that," Dawn smiled. "We are with you 100% all the way. Can we come with you tonight?"

"Bloody hell, nibblet, what else do you know? You been eavesdropping again?"

"Just by accident, really. Overheard you and Giles talking, that's it…He's worried about you, too."

"I know he is. Believe me, he treats me like a child sometimes even though realistically I'm way older than him. And the answer is no. Too shady and not a place for lil' bits."

"Will you be able to come home tonight?"

"Yeah, I think. Might be a bit groggy but I don't think it's the kinda place you wanna stay overnight at."

She stood up as Willow followed suit. Spike got out of the cot to stretch when Dawn threw her arms around his neck and loved on him tightly. He returned it just as Willow enveloped the both of them as well. He bussed both of them on their cheeks and mumbled a thanks.

"Get some more rest. We wanna hear all the gory details when you get back tonight." Dawn giggled as Willow shook her head and gave him a confident smile while trudging back upstairs

**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**~**.

He stood there in front of her.

"So, Slayer, miss me?"

"Yes, I do. I miss you so much. Where have you been?"

"I've been here the whole time. Waiting and watching. Waiting for just the right time." He started towards her, closely circling around her. Never really touching her but her senses went on overload. Every time she reached out or leaned in he would back away. Behind her now, he started to lightly growl, his nose behind her ear, sniffing. Tingles ran up and down her spine. His hands ran down her arms but never touched them. She sighed and bared her neck to him innocently; he chuckled evilly.

"One good day, Slayer. One good day." She distinctly felt a change in him and in the air around them. A charge, a surge. She felt the bite, pain shot through her entire body, eyes shot open, gasping as she tried to figure out what was going on. He was drinking from her, slowly draining her. Why did this not frighten her? He stopped his ministrations and whispered into her ear.

"Death is your gift, little girl. And I will make it happen. Should have never trusted me, never let me in, Slayer."

Before he could sink his fangs back in, a new strength flowed through her. She grabbed him by his hair and yanked him over her shoulder. He landed with a thud on his back as she straddled him, a stake appearing in her hand from out of nowhere. He was back in his human form, his eyes hurt, tears flowing freely now.

"I'm sorry, luv. So sorry. I was weak. They had me by the shorthairs. I deserve this. I deserve to never be with you, ever again. Kill me slayer. Do it, Buffy."

The stake hovered merely inches from his undead heart as she began to cry uncontrollably, shaking her head no. Quickly, he grasped her hand holding the stake and forced it into himself, her screams echoing off the walls as ashes billowed up all around her.

She woke up laying on the hot, dry floor, curled into a ball. The shackles had released her but she had still been unconscious ending up in this position. She could feel the wetness on her face. What did this all mean? She knew she would never be able to kill Spike even after what he had done. She knew he had no control of the situation, but it seemed so real to her. She curled up tighter and cried even harder.

TBC





You must login (register) to review.