"Looking out for love
In the night so still
Oh I'll build you a kingdom
In that house on the hill
Looking out for love
Big, big love
You said that you love me
And that you always will
Oh, you begged me to keep ya
In that house on the hill
Looking out for love
Big, big love."
- Fleetwood Mac, "Big Love"

* * *

She didn't know what to say.

She could feel him watching her expectantly as she turned the letter over in her hands, folding and unfolding the thick stationary. Beside her, Dawn was practically jumping up and down in her excitement, smiling as if Christmas, Easter and her Birthday had all fallen on the same day. In a way, Buffy mused, it sort of has. Still though, she couldn't shake the uneasy feeling that had settled upon her as she'd read the letter. It was too much. What she would've said as so far out of the realm of possibility that she didn't even bother to dream of it's like. Despite all that though the proof of its reality sat between her hands. If she didn't think it would sound like an assent she would've asked Dawn to pinch her.

Instead she tried to gather her fractured thoughts and, turning to Dawn slowly asked if she would give her and Spike a moment together. Alone. The teen's face instantly took on a painfully crestfallen look and Buffy was tempted to reassure her despite her own misgivings. She said nothing however until Dawn had left the kitchen. Then, bracing herself, forced herself to meet Spike's eyes, "I can't accept this."

"Yes you bloody well can."

"No, Spike." She shook her head, letting her eyes drop and the paper fall uselessly to the counter top, "It's too much."

"It's not nearly that much, pet. I've always taken care of what's mine."

The possession in his voice irked her even as she felt a tell-tale warmth spread throughout her body. Inwardly she grimaced, berating herself for the mixed signals it was giving off. It was impossible to deny that some part of her welcomed Spike's words and was in fact desperate to be cared for despite her calling. It was, she suspected, the same part of her that had driven her into the arms fo Riley because of his bland normality. He had been a security blanket which had promised to take her from the darkness into the light. It had also, ultimately, been a lie and Buffy was loathe to have that part of her reassert itself in anyway. It was easy however to push that voice back when she contemplated the other side of Spike's magnanimity. It was almost too much like admitting defeat for Buffy to truly relish the prospect of Spike helping her financially. She had been the one her mother had left in charge of Dawn. It was her responsibility to take care of them both, nobody else's. Taking Spike's money seemed very much to say that she hadn't been able to hack it, that she had failed her sister and herself, "It's my job, Spike, to look after me and Dawn."

"Look, you want to work for a living, love, that's more than fine by me. I'm not trying to trade you in for some Stepford model, pet. But what you're doing now at Doublemeat Palace is barely a real job."

"It is too a real job, Spike. It's the only one I have."

"Right, pet, it's the only one you have now." He sighed and settled against the counter and for one brief moment Buffy caught him looking as she never thought to: haggard and old, world-weary as he raised his suddenly ancient eyes to hers, "Take the money, Buffy. Go to school, get a job doing something you love that pays above $7.50 an hour. That's not nearly enough money to pay for the house and take care of yourself and the Bit and you know it."

Buffy deflated, all the fight gone from her, "I'll never be able to repay you, Spike. No matter what job I get. If I even live long enough this time around to get a good one." She watched dispassionately as he flexed his hands against the tile, took in the long-limbed beauty of his fingers as she wrapped her hand in his.

When he spoke his voice was rough and low, "You'll live long enough, Buffy. I don't care what it takes but next time some beastie comes after you I'm going to stop it whether it throws me off a tower or not."

Buffy smiled, "Fine. But as soon as I start getting a real paycheck you're taking the money back."

"Deal."

Buffy smiled again and despite her earlier trepidation she felt as if a huge weight had been lifted from her shoulders. As much as it galled her to admit that Spike was right, she felt an immense sense of relief that she no longer had to pretend that any sort of extreme economy would keep her and Dawn long at Revello Drive. She had known, though she hadn't wanted to admit it, that it would have been a miracle if they finished the rest of the year without the bank and hospital finally losing patience with her and foreclosing on the house. Their impending financial ruin had been a demon which plagued her every dream and whispered threats in her ear during the day. And suddenly it was gone, driven away for good by Spike's unexpected generosity.

Somewhere in the background the phone began to ring but Buffy ignored it, choosing instead to settle herself in Spike’s embrace. She knew that her kiss was poor payment for his help but at the moment there was little else she had to give him. He didn’t seem to mind the disparity however and deepened the embrace. If not for the sudden return of Dawn to the kitchen at that particular moment Buffy was sure that the teen would have received an impromptu sex-education lesson. She blushed as they pulled apart but instead of meeting Dawn’s amused and unmercifully teasing eyes she found the teen as white as a sheet.

"We've got trouble."

"What?" Buffy tensed instinctively, going still as she mentally prepared for battle. The horrified look on Dawn's face alerting her to the fact that whatever the trouble was it was more than run-of-the mill slaying. Spike still held her hand tightly and she could feel the anticipation of a good fight rolling off him in waves. Despite the inconvenient timing of the trouble he was more than game for any decent fight.

"It's Willow."

"Did somebody say my name?"

It happened in a suspended moment. She'd barely had the time to turn and meet Willow's ebony eyes before the witch raised her hands and everything went black.





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