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Author's Chapter Notes:
Had a bit too much fun with 'annoying' songs in this chapter. Barbie Girl- Aqua, Wind Beneath My Wings- Bette Midler, Mambo Number 5- Lou Bega
“Are we there yet?”

“No.”

“Are we there now?”

“No.”

“How long until we get there?”

“Right around the next bloody bend, you dolt.” Spike glared at the brunette vampire before continuing the game. “Are we there yet?”

“For the love of all things holy would you please make them shut up!” Hank spun around in his chair, temporarily ignoring the honking of passing cars as the RV made its way down the interstate. The black RV swerved nearly taking out a couple of smaller vehicles in the process as it continued its path towards the restaurant.

“If only I knew how.” Buffy grumbled before her eyes widened in shock as the RV gradually started moving into the other lane. “Dad! Eyes on the road!” She squealed her protest as Hank swerved the bulky vehicle back into their own lane. “Spike, shut up! Angel, knock it off!” She glared daggers at the two innocent looking men as they swiftly closed their mouths to refrain from any more ‘are we there yet’ comments.

“He started it.” Angel pointed a finger at the bleached blonde, still snuggled at his wife’s side.

“Did not, you poncy bugger. You jus’ want to get me in trouble with my old lady and pops.” Spike tugged on his seatbelt forcibly as the RV made its way down the off-ramp and onto populated streets at they neared the restaurant.

“So not helping your case Spike. I’m not old, I’m in the prime of my life, aren’t I daddy?” Buffy appealed to the only other male in the front cabin of the bus that was still awake and wasn’t acting like a child.

“Right you are kitten. Now how do you work the windshield wiper thingy?” Hank tossed back what he thought was a fitting answer to his daughter before randomly hitting buttons on the dashboard.

I’m a Barbie girl, in the Barbie world
Life in plastic, it’s fantastic!
You can brush my hair, undress me everywhere
Imagination, life is your creation
Come on Barbie, let’s go Barbie!

“What the bloody…?!” The former master vampire startled in his seat, earning a glare and grunt from his seat mate.

“Dad? You listen to that?”

“”You’re my doll, rock’n’ roll, feel the glamour and pain, kiss me here, touch me there, hanky panky…” Dawn danced in her seat while shouting along with the song that pounded out of the RV’s impressive sound system.

“Dawn! Stop singing it!” The slayer gave her younger sister a glare that normally would have sent vampires running for the hills but the former key only rolled her eyes in mild annoyance before continuing to sing along with the radio.

“I don’t know pet. They might be onto an idea. What’d you say we take their advice and see if this Barbie girl can get a little hanky panky?” Spike leered at her momentarily before planting kisses down her neck to her collarbone. “Kiss me here, kiss me there, kiss me down there…”

“Spike! Not in the presence of minors…”

“Oh gross! Dad, Buffy’s getting all groin-y with Spike. Make her stop!”

“And fathers who really don’t want to know about their daughter’s love lives. Dawn you’re still a…you know what, right?” Hank looked back expectantly at the blushing brunette before hitting another button on the dashboard.

Did you ever know that you’re my hero,
And everything I would like to be?
I can fly higher than an eagle,
‘cause you are the wind beneath my wings.

“Turn that bloody thing off!” Spike vehement protest came from the front of the bus where he had been laving his wife’s neck with gentle kisses until the song that had plagued his worst nightmares had started playing.

“What happened to ‘hey baby, let’s get a room?’ and why did the kissing stop?” Buffy protested as she directed his head back to her neck.

“That soddin’ song has been stuck in my brain since you bloody well mentioned it when we were under Red’s will be done spell. ‘S not right for master vampires to have Bette bloody Midler rollin’ round their noggins when they should be dreamin’ bout evisceration.” He shuddered in disgust before glaring at the only vampire on the bus that was currently humming along to the song.

“Dad, please change the station or turn it off before Angel becomes dust.” Buffy added in a sickly sweet voice before glaring at the oblivious vampire.

In the driver’s seat, Hank fumbled with the radio, still no closer in making the windshield wipers come to life.

A little bit of Monica in my life,
A little bit of Erica by my side.
A little bit of Rita’s all I need,
A little bit of Tina’s all I see.
A little bit of Sandra in the sun,
A little bit of Mary all night long.
A little bit of Jessica here I am,
A little bit of you makes me your man!
Mambo number five.

“A little bit of Buffy’s all I need cause anybody else and I’d be cheese…wait! That didn’ sound right.” Spike stopped himself before he could add to the horrendous lyrics.

“Honey, don’t try to write songs. Otherwise I might try…a little bit of Angel in the sun, a little bit of Parker all night long. A little bit of Riley here I am, a little bit of you makes me your wo-man.”

“That was bloody awful luv. ‘Sides we all know that Angel’s a poofter in and out of bed. Never held much appeal for the ladies, now the lads…well, let’s just say that you were the first real woman he’d been with in a long time.” Spike smirked at the flabbergasted vampire sputtering a couple seats behind the blonde couple.

“I’m not gay! I like women! I lost my soul because I, we…I had sex with Buffy!”

“Yeah, well you’re still a poofter with bloody stupid hair! Are we there yet?” Spike frowned and clutched Buffy closer to his chest.

“Yes, by God, we’re finally here.” Hank parked the bus outside of a local Hooters just on the edge of town and practically shoved it’s passengers off and into the restaurant.

It took mere moments before the large group was seated at the table, most of which were still oblivious to the radio fiasco that had happened only moments before until…

“It’s a small world after all, it’s a small world after all. It’s a bloody small world after all, it’s a small, small world.”

“Can I kill him?”

“Oi! No killin’ of your husband pet. No need to get violent, yeah?”

“It’s going to be a long ass trip, isn’t it?”

“Dawnie, language. Order up…Yes, I’m sure your sister would be more than willing to share a burger with you…well ask her then!”

“There’s no seafood, right?”

“He doesn’t handle seafood well. Really, we’ve tried everything to get him over it, even played Spongebob one night.”

“I think Willow and I played that once…didn’t we?”

“I wanna play Spongie mommy! Spongie!” William bounced playfully on his mother’s lap as he screamed his little head off at the mention of his favorite underwater sea sponge.

“No, you see. I’m not gay, I like women. I just can’t, you know, but it’s not because of that…I have a gypsy curse…of course you can’t catch it. Well, I don’t think you can die from a gypsy curse…I’m serious! I like boobies!”





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