…::…**Chapter Two: Severing Ties**…::…
“Hey Slayer.”
Buffy’s mood brightened at the sound of Spike’s cheerful hello, but forced herself to groan out loud, hoping to convince Spike that she felt anything but relieved with his presence. She was near Restfield, alone, as her friends partied at the Bronze. She had insisted they go, not wanting to deal with their company as she patrolled. She preferred to be alone nowadays, considering how much she had to think about. Taking care of Dawn, paying the bills, finding a job, Spike…
The vampire in question was meeting her stride for stride, enjoying the night like she was. The sky was clear and the stars shone brightly in the night sky. “Always knew you loved my company,” he teased, tilting his head to study her as they walked down the sidewalk. She twirled her stake nervously in her hands as she avoided looking at him.
“Yeah, I sure do,” she quipped sarcastically, not wanting him to question her mood. She really wasn’t in the mood for sharing tonight.
“You know Slayer, you can’t keep avoiding this. We had sex,” Spike said softly, his gaze intense as he looked at her closed off expression.
She sighed as they stopped walking, approaching the area where the Bronze was. “What we had was nothing,” she forced herself to snap. She couldn’t believe she was saying this, that she was hurting this beautiful man. Not monster. Man. “It was just…convenient.”
Spike’s eyes looked pained but his expression remained stoic. “Don’t come knocking at my door then when you’re looking to scratch that itch of yours.”
Buffy ran a hand tiredly through her hair and had never felt older. She looked up at him with pleading eyes, reaching out tentatively but then dropping it. “But I need you,” she whispered, her eyes full of pain and depression, silently begging him to make it all go away.
He stared through her eyes and saw that she did need him, but not for the reasons she should. She needed his body, not him. His talents, not his soul. “I know you do, Buffy,” he whispered, bringing a hand out to cup her cheek as he tilted her head to stare at her more clearly. Her eyes glazed over in serenity as she leaned into his touch. “But I can’t do this anymore. I can’t not have you and still be so…” He paused, trailing a finger down her cheekbone and to her jaw line. “Close,” he whispered, dropping his hand with sadness.
He turned, beginning to walk away when he heard her. “Please, Spike. Please stay.”
It took every fiber of his entire being, every piece of his mind, soul, and body not to go to her. It took all the willpower he had ever had, all the love he held for her not to go and comfort her, bring her pleasure in her time of darkness. It took so much of him that by the time he had reached his crypt, he realized he had been crying.
******
Buffy returned home with a heavy heart and unlocked the door to 1630 Revello, her mood sour and her expression blank. She saw Dawn sitting in the kitchen, chewing mechanically on a slice of leftover pizza.
“Hey, Dawn,” Buffy greeted her sister softly. Dawn turned around to look at her sister with a tired expression.
“Hi, Buffy,” her voice was strained somehow, but Dawn managed to pull off a decent smile for her sister. She knew Buffy was really stressed and didn’t need to hear about her problems.
But Buffy didn’t buy it. She crossed the room to take a seat next to her sister in the kitchen, watching as Dawn finished the last slice of pizza. A nostalgic expression overcame her features as she remembered her mom making homemade pizza as a traditional Saturday meal. Then sadness replaced it, realizing that “traditional Saturday meals” were now whatever she could afford at the Doublemeat Palace. She hated that Dawn had to suffer for her shortcomings and that she couldn’t do much to change their life. All she could do was make sure Dawn was safe and relatively happy.
“What’s wrong?” Buffy asked calmly, her hand reaching out to pull a strand of Dawn’s brunette hair away from her beautiful, porcelain face.
Dawn shivered at the maternal gesture and she fought the urge to cry. “I hate being alone, Buffy,” she admitted inaudibly, her voice conveying how serious she was.
Buffy nodded, pained. “I know,” her voice cracked as she struggled to keep her emotions in check. Ever since Willow had decided to move in with Tara, and she had somewhat detached herself from Xander to the point that he didn’t visit as often, the house was quiet. Dawn was forced to spend the majority of her evenings alone, until late at night when Buffy came home. But even then, Buffy barely spoke a word and headed off to bed, tired after patrol, work, and research.
Dawn looked up at Buffy with an apologetic expression. Before she could say anything, Buffy gave a smile and offered her an idea. “What if you went to stay with Clem in Spike’s crypt? He likes you a lot and he’s really nice, y’know.”
Dawn gave a wide smile back and nodded agreeably, but there was something akin to girlish joy about her smile. “That would be cool.”
Buffy cocked her head, raising an eyebrow. “Quite enthusiastic, aren’t we?”
Dawn blushed. She couldn’t deny the fact that ever since she had met the beautifully happy and peaceful demon, she hadn’t been able to keep the inevitable crush from evolving. Hell, even the tentacles seemed pretty damn sexy to her.
Buffy chuckled and tousled Dawn’s hair affectionately. Dawn growled in mock-annoyance as she gave Buffy a look. “Us Summers girls, falling for the supernatural.”
Dawn laughed and Buffy decided that tomorrow morning, she would see Clem.
*****
Clem, in the meantime, was busy perfecting his plans and rehearsing his “lines” for when Spike came home. He had to make sure everything went exactly according to plan and that Spike or Buffy didn’t suspect a thing. Speaking of the Summers’ women, his lips twisted into a dreamy smile as brunette hair and pale, beautiful skin flashed through his mind temptingly. Sighing with longing, he pushed his affectionate thoughts for the younger Summers’ sister aside and resolved not to be so selfish and screw up his friend’s happiness just because he had a crush.
Spike barged through the door again, loud as usual, and plopped down on the instantly vacated chair as Clem stood by nervously, watching Spike with worried eyes.
Uh-oh. I hope nothing too bad happened with Buffy, Clem thought, trying his best to gauge Spike’s mood. He seemed forlorn, dejected as he leaned back into the chair, eyes closed. He was clearly not asleep, but he didn’t look to be in the mood for talking.
Maybe I should wait until a better time, Clem thought doubtfully. No. I have to do this before things become even worse between the two of them.
Clem took a deep breath and adopted a firm expression on his usually easygoing-friendly face. “Spike, I have some good news for you!” he forced himself to sound a notch happier than usual.
Spike looked reluctantly up at him, his blue eyes disinterested and closed off. “What?” he asked blankly.
“Money!” Clem grinned, knowing exactly which buttons to push to get Spike’s attention.
Spike straightened up slightly in his chair, his eyes a bit lighter than before.
Old habits die hard, Clem thought fondly, recalling the days when Spike used to cherish four things: gambling, sex, violence and money. In a way, he somewhat wished that Spike hadn’t come to Sunnydale with Drusilla and met Buffy. Maybe he would have still been happier and “innocent”, even if it was in an evil and reckless way. Anything was better than the day-to-day rejection, the hurt and the deflowering of what made him who he was.
Clem began to “excitedly” tell him all about the newest gambling spot in town…
TBC
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Author's Chapter Notes:
1) Warm thanks go to Christine for beta-ing this for me! Love you hon! =)
2) This fic is dedicated to SinisterChic. Hope you enjoy this sweetie! =)
3) Many thanks and warm wishes are speedily directed to: Brett, AMI, PhotographyNut, cordykitten and CallMeKitten! Your reviews were all spectacular and they truly, sincerely made my day! I'm off to go respond to them all right now! =) Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. No money is being made from this work. No copyright infringement is intended.
2) This fic is dedicated to SinisterChic. Hope you enjoy this sweetie! =)
3) Many thanks and warm wishes are speedily directed to: Brett, AMI, PhotographyNut, cordykitten and CallMeKitten! Your reviews were all spectacular and they truly, sincerely made my day! I'm off to go respond to them all right now! =) Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. No money is being made from this work. No copyright infringement is intended.
Chapter End Notes:
Reviews would be wonderful! =)