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Author's Chapter Notes:
Thanks again to everyone who reviewed! I hope you all enjoy this chapter and again, feedback would be SO awesome! =) I'll post the next chapter on Monday or Tuesday! Only two to go now!
Thanks SO much to Christine for beta-ing this! You're the best, darling! =D
Chapter Eight: True Confessions



Sated and spent, they laid side by side on the sarcophagus, Dawn’s naked leg flung possessively over Clem’s torso. His hand was splayed against her waist and he sighed in contentment. She seriously loved this demon for all he was worth.



“So,” Dawn said softly, her feminine, innocent voice belying the darkness that hung around them. “Did I show you how hot you were?”



Giggling as he flipped them over and went inside of her again, his goofy grin assured her that all was good in the world.



****



Back at the ice cream parlor, more serious things were being said and more tears were being shed. Spike had moved out of his seat to sit next to Buffy as she cried, her emotions finally allowing themselves to be shown and seen. Her confessions to him had been earth shattering, to say the least, and he couldn’t help but be touched by what she had said.



*You made me feel just like Buffy. You make me feel like a woman. I was terrified of you.*



He felt his own heart break at her heartache and for once, set aside his own yearnings for her reciprocated love and focused on her solely. He realized that throughout their relationship, despite how much he had always thought he had put her first and her feelings first, he hadn’t. When it came down to it, he had always forced his emotions on her and made her feel worthless when she never returned it. Never actually paid attention to her, what she thought and what she felt. In the end, they had both played a part in what had become today’s events.



Finally, Buffy’s cries subsided and Spike glanced around to see the cashier sitting behind the counter, reading a novel as the store’s only occupants engaged in what appeared to be intimate talk.



“Next question?” Buffy said, her voice hoarse and soft after crying so much.



Spike smiled down at her for a bit, before it faded with his question. “Why do you care so much about what your friends say?”



Buffy winced at this and gently pushed him away as she shoved herself farther into the booth so she could look at him properly. Wrapping her arms protectively around herself, she sighed. “I don’t know,” she answered honestly. “I really don’t. I think I’m just so used to it, not having anyone challenge it,” she threw him a weak but playfully pointed look at which he chuckled wryly. “And I wasn’t sure how to react. When you came along and started forcing me to confront my feelings instead of running away from them, I suppose that’s when I saw the truth about my friends and I didn’t want to believe it. For six years, they’re all I’ve ever know and I didn’t know what to do. I mean, it’s like a safety blanket. Having them around made me feel protected in a way, like things were still somewhat normal and sane. I hadn’t completely crossed over to the darkness.



That doesn’t mean the choices I made were justified,” she amended quickly, assuring him. “But they were misled, definitely.”



“That still only answers half the question luv,” Spike teased, his voice gentle and soothing, encouraging her to talk at her own pace though his inner demon was bursting with anger at what her answer had implied. Did that mean that being with him meant she had? He had hoped he would be the light in her life, but he supposed that wasn’t so.



She sighed again, twirling a strand of blonde hair between her fingers. She glanced at her watch again: 10:00. They still had plenty of time; funnily enough, there didn’t seem to be enough of it either.



“Because like I said, they’re all I’ve ever known. They’re there. Not in the emotional, real way friends are supposed to be, not like you are,” she paused. “But they were just there. People I could supposedly rely on. People who kept me grounded in such a way that they were dominating my life. I cared about what they said because if I lost them, I wasn’t sure if Dawn and you were enough.”



His wounded, hurt expression killed her and she rushed to explain. “I know you are now,” she said softly. “I refused to believe it before. But I know that know.”



He offered a weak smile. “So is that it then? The big talk?” His attempt for light conversation caused her to giggle, a sound that brought a half-relieved, half-tired expression to his face. He wasn’t sure what to think of what she had said; all those times they had been having sex, had she really felt that insecure about what he could offer her? He knew it was wrong, what he had done. He couldn’t really blame her for thinking that he wasn’t enough; all he seemed to tell her was that he loved her, all the while after raw sex that clearly didn’t portray his heartfelt love. He was to blame, he did have to admit, for had he been more forceful, a better partner in whatever it was they had, perhaps she wouldn’t have had to bottle her feelings thus far.



“I suppose. If it’s enough for you,” she said, her eyes wide with insecurity.



He nodded. “It is. More than enough.”



She then hung her head again, a thought occurring in her mind. “And I owe you a million apologies that I was too self-righteous to give. Our relationship,” she rolled her eyes at the poor choice of word, “Was always about me being on the receiving end, you apologizing and making me feel better when I never returned it. So I want to apologize for everything I have ever done to you.



“I’m so sorry, Spike.”



Spike’s eyes filled with tears and he fought to keep them in check even as they leaked out of his eyes and rolled down his cheeks. And then, to add to the emotional overload, she said it. The words that totally shocked him.



“I love you, William.”




TBC


Chapter End Notes:
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