Acting out of pure instinct, Angel vamped out . Without taking his eyes away from Spike, he quickly put the thermos down and raised his hands in a non-threatening gesture. Then he realized that Spike wouldn’t be able to see him anyway, and lowered his hands again with a frustrated growl. “Spike, it’s me.”
If he had expected those words to calm the agitated vampire, he turned out to be mistaken. If anything, his announcement only seemed to make things worse. Spike’s roar grew louder, and – clearly both confused and disoriented – he scrambled backwards in alarm, obviously not realizing how close he was to the edge of the bed.
Spike let out a startled yelp as he tumbled to the floor. There was a cracking sound as the back of his head hit the nightstand, causing Angel to wince in sympathy, and the dark-haired vampire took a hesitant step forward. “Crap! Spike, are you okay?”
“Spike? Angel! What the hell are you doing?” Choosing that moment to step out of the bathroom, Buffy threw Angel an accusing look before rushing over to Spike and dropping to her knees next to him. “Spike, it’s okay. No one’s gonna hurt you.”
Angel’s eyes widened slightly. “Hey, don’t blame me, I was just...” His voice trailed off when he realized that Buffy wasn’t listening. Not really certain of what to do at that moment, he simply remained where he was, shoving his hands down in his pockets as he awkwardly watched the couple on the floor in front of him.
Buffy swallowed. “Spike? Do you hear me?” She carefully put her hand on top of his, only to pull back when he flinched away from her touch. With tears welling up in her eyes, she glared at Angel over her shoulder. “What did you do?”
“I didn’t do anything!” Angel exclaimed defensively, his features slipping back into human. “I was just bringing him some blood, like I said I would,” he explained, gesturing towards the thermos on the floor.
“And you just decided to barge in here, like you own the place,” Buffy muttered angrily before turning her attention back to Spike.
“Actually, I do own...” Angel started, then stopped himself as he decided that now wasn’t a good time for making needless corrections. In fact, he was starting to feel out of place, like he was imposing on a private moment. Letting out a sigh, he picked up the steel thermos from the floor, put the lid back on and set it down on the chair. Then he slipped out of the room without another word.
Buffy took a deep breath. “Spike, you’re safe now.” She slowly reached out towards him again, placing her hand softly on his arm.
He jumped slightly, but much to her relief, he didn’t pull away from her this time. “Buffy?” he finally croaked.
Failing to hold back a sob, she nodded, suppressing the urge to throw herself in his arms. “Yeah. I’m right here.”
With her hand still on his arm, she felt him go rigid. He shook his head, slowly. “Not real.”
“What?” Buffy’s eyes widened as the meaning of his words started to sink in, and she had to bite her lip to keep from crying. “No, it’s real. I’m real.”
Spike shook his head again. “Can’t see you,” he whispered, hoarsely.
“Oh.” Buffy let out a shuddering breath. “I know. It’s gonna be okay.” She hesitated for a moment before gently taking his right hand and brought it up to her face. “Can’t you feel me?” At first, he didn’t respond. Then she felt him relax, ever so slightly, and he nodded.
A mixture of a laugh and a sob escaped her and Buffy was torn between wanting to break down and weep, or jump for joy. For a moment, she just kept staring at him, as if hypnotized. Then she snapped out of it. “Let’s get off the floor and back into bed, okay?” She was unable to keep her voice steady.
“Where...” He started coughing, then tried again, “Where am I?”
“The Hyperion. My room.” She ran her fingers softly up and down his arm in a soothing gesture before asking, quietly, “What’s the last thing you remember?”
He was silent for almost a minute before finally mumbling in a weak voice, “Pain.”
“It’s over now, okay?” Although his declaration made Buffy’s heart ache, she forced herself to stay strong. Spike had always been able to read her like a book, and the last thing she wanted was for him to pick up on her emotional state and worry about her. “I’m gonna take care of you. You’ll be all right.”
When he didn’t answer, she figured he had to be exhausted. “Come on.” She gently lifted his arm and placed it around her shoulders, then slipped her arm around his waist. Spike didn’t object when she carefully pulled him up on his feet, allowing her to help him back to the bed.
As she quickly moved to pick up the thermos Angel had left, Buffy heard him mumble something. She turned around to look at him. When he remained silent, she sat down on the bed. “Spike?”
He slowly turned his head towards the sound of her voice and repeated his words. “Said ‘m sorry.”
Buffy frowned. “Sorry about what?”
Spike was quiet for a moment. Then he turned away from her. “Date. Missed it. Sorry.”
Almost hysterical laughter bubbled up inside her and she stared at him in disbelief. “My God, are you serious? I thought I’d lost you! Spike, do you have any idea...” The thought of going on living her life without Spike, now when she had gotten a second chance to be with him, was next to unbearable. For a moment, she actually felt like she couldn’t breathe.
Squeezing her eyes shut, Buffy inhaled shakily, desperately trying to get her emotions under control. When she was finally able to speak again, her voice was more than a little strained, although she hoped he wouldn’t notice. “I got some blood for you. You need to eat.” What she really wanted to do was to just take him in her arms, hold him close and beg him to never leave her again.
Realizing that Angel had forgotten to bring a cup, she started to get up, only to gasp in surprise when Spike grabbed her arm. “Stay,” he mumbled, pleadingly.
Taking his hand, she held it gently in hers. “I’m not going anywhere. I was just gonna...” She stopped, hesitating for a moment. Spike was in a desperate need of blood, but her blood would probably make him heal a lot faster. She could give it to him right here, without even having to leave the bed.
“Spike?” Buffy bit her lip. “Do you think you can-“
As if he had been reading her mind, Spike pulled his hand back, abruptly. “No!” He started coughing again.
She swallowed, hard. “You don’t even know-“
He shook his head in denial, and she noticed that he was trembling. “Won’t... hurt you.”
“But...” Buffy was about to insist that she was perfectly okay with him biting her, that she in fact wanted him to, but then decided not to push him. She couldn’t exactly blame him for not trusting himself around her at the moment. She on the other hand trusted him completely. “All right.” She reluctantly got up from the bed, almost disappointed when he didn’t object this time. “Pig’s blood it is, then.”
Rushing into the bathroom, she grabbed a small glass from a shelf and hurried back out, once again sitting down next to the weakened vampire. Then she opened the thermos and poured some of the thick, red liquid into the glass without grimacing. “Okay, here we go.” She put the thermos down and slid her free hand in behind his neck, helping him to raise his head a little so he would be able to drink.
As she carefully brought the glass to his cracked lips, he suddenly tensed up and tried to pull back. Buffy frowned. “What’s wrong?” Spike didn’t answer. He hesitantly sniffed at the air, then at the contents in the glass. A sudden thought occurred to her. “It’s not human, is it? Angel told me human blood’s not allowed around here. But he’s the one who-“
Spike interrupted her, weakly, “’S not.” However, he still seemed to be confused, like he didn’t know what to think. But when she offered him the glass again, he hungrily gulped down the blood, emptying the glass in mere seconds. “More,” he gasped, desperately, and she realized that he must have been starving. She quickly reached for the thermos and filled the glass again.
When there was no more blood left, Buffy gently lowered him back down on the bed. “You rest now, okay? I’m not leaving.”
He slowly turned his face in her direction, although she knew he couldn’t see her. “Really here, luv?”
“Yeah.” A single tear found its way down her cheek and she quickly wiped it away. “And so are you,” she added quietly, not sure if she was trying to assure him, or herself. When he didn’t say anything more, she reached out a shaky hand towards his face, brushing her fingers tenderly over his burned skin. “I love you,” she whispered.
There was no response. Buffy repeated her words, a little louder this time. “Spike? I love you.” Still nothing. She realized that he had fallen asleep and probably hadn’t heard her. Watching him for a moment, she then kicked her shoes off, curled up next to him on the bed, and wept.
TBC
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Author's Chapter Notes:
A huge thanks to IamGhost, guest, Sabina, JO, TammyAsh666, cordykitten, PhotographyNut and shelly for reviewing the last chapter. Thanks also to Mabel Marsters for betaing! :)