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Author's Chapter Notes:
A huge thanks to Mabel Marsters for betaing. Also thanks to guest, JO, PhotographyNut, cordykitten and IamGhost for reviewing the last chapter. *hugs*
”Rowan? You in there?”

Rowan sighed as he reluctantly made his way over to the door before the knocking would start again. He was really not in a mood for company at the moment. Opening the door, he found himself standing face to face with Gunn. He rolled his eyes. “Of course I’m in here. Where else would I be?”

Gunn looked a little taken aback, raising his hands defensively. “Look, dude, I was just-“

“Don’t tell me,” Rowan cut him off with a snort. “Come to check on the prisoner, right? Angel sent you?”

“Okay, first of all? You’re not a prisoner. Stop being so dramatic, will you?” Gunn shook his head. “You’re free to walk around the hotel. And no, Angel didn’t send me. I came here because I needed to talk to you. Can I come in?”

Rowan was tempted to say no, but decided against it. Suppressing a sigh, he took a step back, allowing Gunn to enter. “Yeah, sure. But if you’re here to tell me how I screwed up, you’re wasting your time. Already know that.”

“Feeling sorry for yourself, are you?” Gunn went over to the couch and sat down.

Letting out a bitter laugh, Rowan shook his head. “Believe me, man, I’m way past that. I know I deserve whatever I get.” He wasn’t really surprised when Gunn didn’t object. “How’s Spike doing? I thought of going to see him, but...” He shrugged and looked away.

“Trust me, man, you don’t wanna do that.” Gunn got a serious look on his face. “I went over there before, and the Slayer nearly bit my head off. If you showed up, I have a feeling she’d slay first and ask questions later.”

“Probably,” Rowan agreed with a sigh. “Can’t say I blame her.”

“No.” Gunn was quiet for a moment. “Look, Rowan, I’ll just get to the point. No one around here’s very happy with you right now. You’ve been lying to us for weeks, not to mention the fact that a lot of innocent demons are dead now because of you. And when you start selling out your friends-“

“Hey!” Rowan interrupted him. “It wasn’t like that, all right? I didn’t know Spike would go to my house. I never meant for him to get hurt.”

“Maybe not.” Gunn sighed. “But it happened. The question is, are you ready to atone?”

“Yes, of course I am.” Rowan looked him right in the eyes. “Look, Gunn, I feel really bad about what I’ve done and I wanna make things right. I just don’t know if it’s possible.”

Gunn watched the blond for a moment to make sure he was serious. Then he nodded. “It is. You can put an end to this, once and for all.” He crossed his arms over his chest. “Actually, you’re the only one who can.”


~ ~ ~


Buffy didn’t know what time it was, or how long she had just been lying there on the bed, carefully reaching out to touch Spike every once in a while, just to make sure he was still there. The tears had finally stopped, and she was pretty sure she had even drifted off at some point. Spike was lying next to her, still in the same position; flat on his back with his head tilted slightly in her direction.

Now she watched him, closely. He still looked about the same as before, and she knew it would take more than just a few cups of blood for him to heal. Having not given up on the idea of making him drink from her, she decided to at least wait a day or so before bringing it up again, not wanting to upset him.

Thinking about what he must have been through over the last couple of days, she nearly started crying again. It really wasn’t like her to be this emotional, but lately, she seemed to be bawling constantly. She felt a little bad for the way she had treated Angel, when he had just been trying to help. Although Buffy hated to admit it, she knew deep down that she wouldn’t have been able to save Spike by herself.

Spike suddenly let out a soft moan, and Buffy quickly pushed all thoughts about the dark-haired vampire to the back of her mind. Holding her breath, she waited to see if Spike would wake up. If not, she really didn’t want to disturb him. After all, he needed his rest. She kept watching him in silence.

“Look that bad, do I?” Spike mumbled in a weak voice, causing her to jump.

Somehow, she managed to keep her voice steady. “How long have you been awake?”

“Not long.” He groaned. “Just please, tell me...”

She reached for his hand. “What?”

“Still got my hair?”

At first, she just stared at him. Then she burst out giggling. It came out a little too hysterical for her liking, but she couldn’t help it. “Yes. Most of it, anyway.” As she ran her fingers softly through his tangled curls, she noticed how her hands were shaking.

Spike was quiet for so long, she almost thought he had passed out again. Then he spoke quietly. “Holy water.”

“What?” Buffy frowned, trying to figure out what he meant.

He let out a shuddering breath before clarifying, “My face.”

“Oh.” It all started to make sense to her. She closed her eyes in a weak attempt to hold back another flood of tears, and a sickening sensation came over her. “I’m so sorry,” she finally whispered. When he didn’t respond, she bit her lip. “Um, can I get you something? More blood?”

Spike shook his head. “’M fine.”

Buffy rolled her eyes. “Spike, you’re not fine. And you won’t be, unless you’ll eat.” As he remained silent, she continued, “I’ll just go downstairs and-“

His arm shot out, weakly grabbing her before she could get up. “Don’t go.”

As soon as the words had left his mouth, Spike realized how pathetic and needy he sounded, but he couldn’t help himself. Not that he would ever admit it, but the thought of being alone terrified him. He dreaded the silence. As long as Buffy was still in the room, he would know it wasn’t just his mind playing games with him, that it was really over.

The first thing he’d become aware of when he woke up was Buffy’s scent, so achingly familiar. It was her presence that kept him from panicking when he tried to open his eyes, only to find himself staring into total darkness. He vaguely recalled Buffy telling him that he was back at the hotel, in her room. However, he had no idea how he’d gotten there.

He wanted to ask her what happened, how she had managed to find him, but it didn’t take long for him to discover that he didn’t have enough energy to speak more than a few words at the time. All he wanted to do was go back to sleep. But a part of him didn’t dare, fearing that the next time he’d wake up, he would be back in the basement.

Of course, he wouldn’t breathe a word about his fears to Buffy, not wanting to look as weak and pathetic as he felt. He was blind, his entire body was aching, and he could barely move. In fact, he couldn’t remember ever feeling so completely helpless before, not even after getting that bloody chip in his head.

Spike knew Buffy was watching him; he could feel it. At the moment, he was actually grateful that he couldn’t see her, not wanting to see the sympathy in her eyes. He didn’t want her to feel sorry for him, to pity him. Although he craved her presence, loved her for being there, he didn’t want her to see him like this. Tears of humiliation and frustration welled up in his eyes and he was unable to stop them.

“Spike?” Buffy’s voice was filled with concern. “Sweetie, what’s wrong? Are you in pain?” She put her hand gently on his cheek, but when he instinctively flinched, she immediately pulled back. “I’m sorry! I didn’t mean...” Her voice trailed off, and Spike could smell her tears. “What can I do?” she asked quietly, the uncertainty evident in her voice.

He wanted to beg her to just stay with him, but the words wouldn’t come. Desperately trying to keep what little dignity he had left, he turned his face away from her. “Tired,” he whispered. It wasn’t a lie. He felt totally and utterly exhausted.

“Oh, okay.” Buffy hesitated. “Why don’t you just try to get some more sleep? I’ll call Angel and tell him to bring more blood. You can eat when you wake up.” Not trusting his voice to hold, Spike just nodded.


~ ~ ~


“Let me see if I got this straight...” Having been pacing the room, Rowan now stopped in front of Gunn. “You went to the white room?” The other man nodded. “And you talked to the, um...”

“The big cat, yeah.” Gunn nodded again. “I explained the situation, hoping the Senior Partners might have some idea how to destroy this Morou guy.”

“And?” Rowan was almost afraid to ask.

Gunn sighed. “Cat wasn’t really interested in helping at first. But I was kinda persistent. Apparently, there is a way.”

Rowan raised his eyebrows in surprise, a hopeful note in his voice, “How?”

“Wouldn’t say.” Gunn hesitated for a moment. “Told me you’ll have to figure it out by yourself.”

“Me?” Rowan stared at him in disbelief.

“Well, it turns out the only way Morou can be killed,” Gunn looked him right in the eyes, “is by the hand of his servant.”

Rowan lowered his eyes in shame. “Oh.” He swallowed, glancing at the other man. “Guess the Senior Partners aren’t very pleased with me.”

“Oh, I don’t know about that...” Gunn got an unreadable look on his face. “Let’s just say they weren’t all that surprised.”

“What are you saying?” Rowan was more than a little confused. “The Senior Partners knew I was letting some hell-beast kill their employees in my basement? And they let me continue?”

Gunn was quiet for a moment. “Actually, the Senior Partners didn’t just know about Morou. They’re the ones who created him.”


TBC





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