Author's Chapter Notes:
I've said this on my LJ and thought I might as well say it here as well. This will most likely be my last story here. I've been more into Twilight than Spuffy lately and I just don't see myself starting on another fic. Not leaving this fandom completely, just the writing. However, I will finish this story first.

Thanks to Mabel Marsters for betaing and to cordykitten, Kirsty, JO, guest, PhotographyNut and IamGhost for reviewing the last chapter. *hugs you all*
Giving Angel a wary look, Rowan stepped through the door, only to stop on the other side. “Spike? Are you-” He was cut off as the vampire in question snarled at him from his position on the bed. Rowan gulped. “Look, I was just-“

“Hold it,” Angel ordered. Rowan immediately fell silent. The dark-haired vampire continued, “Spike, stop it. Rowan won’t be staying long. I just wanna show him something.” He turned back to Rowan. “See that empty glass on the nightstand? I want you to pick it up.”

At first Rowan looked surprised, then his eyes widened in alarm. “What? Why?”

“Just do it,” Angel insisted. Glancing at Spike, he was pleased to find that the other vampire had become quiet, and noted that Spike appeared to be just as confused as Rowan. Seeing how Rowan’s eyes darted suspiciously from him to the glass, Angel added, patiently, “Today, please. We’re waiting.”

“What are you...” Spike started, then stopped as he realized what Angel was thinking. He cocked his head to the side and turned his face towards the blond, although he was still unable to relax, not comfortable with Rowan in the room.

Rowan swallowed hard, understanding finally dawning on him. Angel clearly intended for him to use his power to get a sense of what Spike had gone through. For a brief moment, he considered simply refusing, but decided against it. After all, he wanted to make amends, and if Angel thought this was a step in the right direction, Rowan didn’t really have much choice.

Taking a deep breath, Rowan nodded in acceptance and walked over to the nightstand. His hands were shaking slightly as he picked up the glass, silently cursing his ability. He was definitely not looking forward to this, however, he knew it was nothing more than he deserved. Closing his eyes, Rowan reluctantly forced himself to block out everything else and focus on the cold glass in his hand.

Immediately hit by a wave of indescribable pain, Rowan let out a gasp and dropped to his knees. The visions had always been intense, but he still hadn’t been prepared for this. Not even noticing how the glass slipped out of his hand and shattered on the floor, he suddenly found himself down in his basement, staring into a couple of familiar black eyes.

Morou raised his head, leering at him. “Of course, it won’t have to end like this. All you have to do is get down on your knees, and beg Morou to spare you.” Deep down, Rowan knew it wasn’t real, that he was merely experiencing a memory and was actually seeing through Spike’s eyes. Still, it didn’t make the sensation any less frightening.

Rowan watched in horror as the creature stood up and uttered a low, hissing sound, eyes turning completely red. He realized he was trapped against the brick wall with the demon towering over him, holding a glass of some clear liquid looking like water just above his face. But if it was only water, then why did the mere sight of it fill him with terror?

Trying to pull away, Rowan found that his body wouldn’t obey him. His ribs were aching and he could feel the taste of blood in his mouth. The beast suddenly grabbed him by the throat and poured the contents in the glass over him. Rowan could feel his face burning and cried out in pain.


~ ~ ~


Stepping out of the shower, Buffy quickly dried herself off before slipping into a pair of grey sweatpants and a dark blue tank top. As she was pulling her hair back in a ponytail, she heard the sound of shattering glass followed by a blood-curling scream from the next room, and stopped dead in her tracks. Forgetting all about her wet hair, she dropped the hairbrush and rushed out of the bathroom.

Her eyes widened in shock at the sight that met her. Rowan was crouching down on the floor, desperately scratching at his face and hollering in pain. Angel was standing a few feet away, looking startled. And Spike was sitting up in the bed, rigid, clearly not sure what was going on.

Buffy stared at Rowan, then at the scattered pieces of broken glass next to his feet. “What the hell’s wrong with him?” she demanded as she turned to Angel.

Finally taking his eyes away from Rowan, Angel looked at Buffy, a slightly guilty expression on his face. “He’s not really in pain. It’s just a vision. I thought...” He shook his head, uncertain of how to explain. It had seemed like a good idea at the time; forcing Rowan to sense some of Spike’s pain. But now, seeing Rowan’s reaction, it just seemed cruel and barbaric.

When Rowan let out another agonized scream, Angel shrugged helplessly, at a loss for what to do. Without hesitation, Buffy walked over to Rowan and punched him in the face, although not hard enough to knock him out. The blond’s head snapped back and he became silent. Blinking a couple of times, clearly disoriented, Rowan gasped and slumped back against the wall, finally free from his vivid sensation.

Spike was the first to break the silence in the room. “Buffy? What’s happening?”

“That’s what I’d like to know.” Making her way over to Spike, Buffy sat down next to him, although her eyes never left Angel.

The dark-haired vampire ignored her. “Rowan? Are you okay?” There was a hint of concern in his voice.

“Sure,” Rowan muttered sarcastically, grimacing as he touched his sore nose. “Happy now, or do you want me to keep paying for my mistakes for the rest of my life?” Before Angel got the chance to respond, Rowan scrambled to his feet and took a couple of wobbly steps towards the bed. “Spike, I’m sorry. I don’t blame you for hating me, but you have to believe me when I say I never meant for any of this to happen.”

Spike growled. “The others. You set ‘em up.”

Rowan swallowed hard, shame written all over his face. “Yes, I did. Trust me, if I could go back and change things, I would.”

“It’s too late for that now,” Buffy stated, glaring at him.

“I know.” Rowan sighed. “I’m truly sorry.” He meant it, from the bottom of his heart. However, he didn’t expect the others to forgive him that easily. His only hope now was to find a way to get rid of Morou, once and for all. It still wouldn’t make up for all the damage he had caused, but he figured that it would at least be a start.

“Sorry?” Spike snorted. “That what you told Harmony?” Rowan lowered his eyes in shame. Spike continued, his right fist clenching, “Know what that bastard did to her? I got away easy.” He slumped back against the pillows behind him. “Get the fuck out,” he mumbled, weakly.

Angel opened his mouth to say something, but raised his hands in surrender when Buffy shot a warning glare in his direction. He turned to Rowan with a sigh. “Let’s go. We have work to do.” A part of him was actually starting to feel a bit bad for Rowan; it was painfully obvious that the man genuinely regretted his actions. Angel could relate to that.

Sure, Rowan had screwed up, to put it mildly, but Angel suddenly realized that he was not exactly the right person to judge anyone. Like he hadn’t done his own share of bad things over the years. Of course, he didn’t have a soul back then. Then again, he supposed it didn’t really matter. Because soul or no soul, he was still the one responsible.

And if he had gotten a chance to make up for his past, to make amends for his evil deeds, who was he to say that Rowan didn’t deserve the same chance? Angel shook his head to clear his thoughts as he followed Rowan out of the room. There would be time to reflect on that later. Right now, they had an evil beast to take care of.


~ ~ ~


As soon as Angel and Rowan had left the room, Buffy hurriedly locked the door to make sure she and Spike would finally get some privacy. Returning to the bed, she hesitated briefly before sitting back down. “You wanna sleep some more?” He shook his head, although it was obvious that he was still pretty worn out. Buffy bit her lip. “Okay. Um, feel like talking, then?”

Spike turned his head in her direction. “About what?”

“Well...” Suddenly nervous, Buffy started fidgeting with the blanket. Finally she took a deep breath. “If I asked you to do something for me, would you?”

“Course.” He paused, letting out a tired sigh. “Unless it involves moving.”

She smiled a little. “Just barely.” Spike remained silent, clearly waiting for her to continue. “Look, Spike, we both know my blood would make you heal a lot faster.” Seeing how he immediately tensed up, opening his mouth to protest, she hurried on, “I know what you said about not wanting to hurt me, but would you at least hear me out? Please?”

Spike swallowed. “All right.”

Buffy was quiet for a moment, choosing her next words very carefully. “Okay, first of all, I want you to know that I trust you completely. I’ve given it a lot of thought, and I’ve decided that I want to do this.” He shook his head again, but she wasn’t finished. “I’m serious, Spike. I don’t want you to drink Angel’s blood - I want you to take mine.”


TBC





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