Spike shifted closer to the wooden door as the walking self-tanning commercial walked through the door and caught Buffy in a tight embrace, which even for the slayer was too tight and made her gasp lightly for air.
“Luther, what are you doing here?” Buffy subtly extricated herself from his powerful grip around her torso and briefly wondered what her ex-manager had been eating or if he was some sort of demon she would have to kill. Feeling no tinglies alerting her to a demonic presence, besides Spike, she motioned for the taller man to take a seat on the couch while she sat opposite him and Spike slouched next to her.
“It’s been awhile Buffy and there is an actual reason I’m in this Godforsaken town. Have you heard of the ’Where Are They Now’ specials?” Luther took in the bleached blonde thug at his little moneymaker’s side and visibly cringed when he glared at him. That man was scarier than all of the Los Angeles area workout instructors put together.
“Yeah, I’ve heard of them Luther but what does that have to do with me? I’ve put that life behind me and worked hard to stay out of it for awhile now.” Buffy glanced wearily at the sleazy older man before swatting Spike’s hand off of her thigh where it had been creeping towards the edge of her shorts.
“Emily Rosemont wants to do a special on you. Hollywood’s little girl all grown up and I’ve got to say I agree that it would boost ratings. Until you turned fifteen, you were slated to have a great career before you but then you just dropped off the radar and moved to this little hell hole. People are going to know why Buffy…and I think it’s better that you tell them. Of course we’ll also want your boyfriend…”
“He’s not my boyfriend!” She glared first at Luther and then back at the pouting vampire. The urge to console him was almost greater than the urge to clearly define that he was not and would never be her boyfriend.
“Oh! You’re married then? Well, that just makes this so much better then. Hollywood’s little girl grown up, married and attacking the work force. I can just see the ratings now…they’ll be through the roof!” Not to mention the dollar signs when I get my cut Luther grinned, showing off his blindingly white smile.
“You mean you came all the way to Sunnydale to tell me that you want me to do an interview and have a bunch of cameramen follow me around for God knows how long, just so you can get some high ratings? I don’t think so Luther. I left that life a long time ago and have no wish to go back…” She leaned back further into the chair and shook her head at the thought of being someone’s amusement for an hour while she recanted her life story.
“$50,000 on the front and possibly new acting roles.” Luther quickly pulled on his ‘deal or no deal’ face as he focused on the woman before him making a fool out of herself with those cheesy fish-faces.
“Fifty thous…oh my God, that would pay off the bills and…where do I sign?”
“Whoa there pet. What in the bleedin’ hell are you two yappin’ bout? Buffy’s not a bleedin’ Hollywood anything…”
“You haven’t told him Buffy? I’m deeply shamed. Buffy Summers started her career at the tender age of three when she appeared in several diaper commercials and transition diapers. She then continued to land commercial after commercial until I took over her file. She then took several television sitcom roles as the adorable child and made a name for herself when she signed on for a long-term role on Swan’s Crossing at age thirteen. I still don’t understand why your husband wouldn’t know about that Buffy? Surely, it must have come up in conversation.” Luther shook his head as Spike stared at Buffy in awe.
“Y-you were that girl on that show that Dru wanted to turn. Real pretty with long brunette hair. Dru wanted to keep you as a pet and play dress-up with you. It was you!”
“Ok Spike, calm down. You cannot tell anyone that you know. I’ve spent too long trying to leave that life behind …Wait! Dru wanted to turn me? How sick is that?” Buffy let out a shiver of disgust before turning back to the oblivious Luther, who was mentally calculating his cut of the money. “And Spike is still not my husband…”
“’M her fiancé mate. Two years now but the chit just won’t pick a date to make this all final-like.” Spike leered at her as he slipped off the skull ring he had so lovingly placed on her ring finger while they were under Willow’s spell two years prior.
Mouthing the words ‘I hate you’ back to him, she accepted the ring and placed it back on her ring finger.
“Oh! I can see it now…we can make this a series! You two can plan your wedding during the special and then get married on a series finale! It’s perfect, I didn’t catch your name but it really doesn’t matter. Let me call Emily and work out the legalities but in the mean time, you two sign these and hand them to your friends to sign and then we can hash out the details.” Luther practically squealed with delight as he chucked a folder towards them and ran out of the house.
“Well, he was bloody weird. So it looks like we’re getting married on the telly, eh pet?”
“No, we really aren’t. I’m going to get through this interview and let them follow me around in well lit areas without the presence of vampires or demons or other creepy crawlies and you are going to stay in your crypt like a good little vampire.” Buffy shook her head as she quickly read over the standard agreement form and signed on the dotted line. Fifty thousand would make a significant dent in the debt she’d been acquiring lately and with the added bonus of having money left over for household supplies and…pizza.
“Buffy? Are you home?” Dawn’s voice echoed from the back door as she plunked her backpack down and thumped her way to the living room.
“Why is there a T.V. crew set up outside the house? Oh my God! Spike! You’re here, wait…why are you here?” Dawn bounced in place as she noted the closeness between her sister and her favorite vampire.
“Me ‘n big sis are getting hitched on the telly” He grinned as he wrapped an arm around Buffy’s waist, drawing her closer to him.
“You mean…Wow! You guys are finally going to start telling people you’re together! This is just so…wow!”
“We so aren’t together and Spike, if you want to live another day outside the Hoover, I would suggest you move your arm right now!” Buffy scowled as he tightened his grip and glared at her.
“But you guys have been like…you know…doing the…with the…and the…” Dawn’s hands made unrecognizable gestures but the intent was clear.
“How long have you known?”
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Author's Chapter Notes:
There is a reference to Swans Crossing, which SMG did star in so don't be surprised to come across the title. For those that don't know what it is...it was a teen soap opera that I will admit to being addicted to
Chapter End Notes:
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