Chapter 32 So Lost Without You………
By the time they got home, Buffy felt really lousy, her head throbbed, her throat was so sore and her whole body ached.
Spike suggested she go have a warm bath and he’d bring her up some hot honey and lemon, some Advil tablets and something to eat. She agreed, except about the food, she wasn’t hungry.
Spike tucked her up in bed and she went fast asleep. Too early for him to go to bed, Spike phoned his father, watched some TV and made himself a sandwich. Sorting through the day’s mail, he opened a large thick envelope that had been forwarded onto him from his agent. It was a script for a very popular British Sci-Fi TV show that had once been running for years. Decommissioned, and had just been brought back, now set in the 21st century. Attached to the script was a note from Ethan……
‘William, thought you might like to look at this. Filming starts in May in England, your contract with the Diner people is up middle of April if you decide not to extend or they let you go, although if you decide to stay on, we may be able to work around things. Seriously consider this, it’s ‘GOLD’, Regards, Ethan.
Quickly Spike looked at the title of the show – Dr How! - His eyes bugged, he couldn’t believe it! – His all-time favourite show as a kid, and now he was being offered a part on it! Eagerly Spike opened the script, read the back-story on the part and then read the new story and script. He knew straight away he’d do it, he just HAD to! He smiled to himself as he remembered watching from behind a cushion as a 7 year old, frightened at the ‘Extermibots’ and the Cosmossians, he and his friends used to fire ‘ray guns’ at each other pretending they were Dr How fighting wrong in his London taxi cab, that was the doctor’s way of travelling through time and space. It was no ordinary taxi-cab though, inside it was huge! Time And Xploration Initiative Taxi stood for.
Buffy padded down the stairs to find Spike fast asleep on the sofa. Passing behind the sofa she gently ran her fingers through his hair.
“Hmm – Hmmm” Spike murmured
“Coming to bed?” she croaked
“Huh – wha – oh!” Spike sat up suddenly and looked at her bleary-eyed.
“ Oh, love…I must have dropped off! Hey, you shouldn’t be out of bed!”
“Thirsty”
“Go back up, I’ll fetch you some juice”
“Okay…but you are coming up now, its gone 2am!”
“Right behind you pet, just fetching the juice” Spike quickly shoved the script back in the envelope and left it on the side and went into the kitchen to get Buffy her drink.
__________________
Buffy felt better in the morning, not 100% mind, her throat was still a little sore, but the head and body aches had gone. She decided to go to work………
Spike got into the car and waited for Buffy to come out, the phone rang just as they were leaving.
“Who was it?” Spike asked as she got into the car five minutes later.
“Just some journalist, had I read the latest in the paper”
Spike rolled his eyes and said with a sigh,
“When will they get it into their thick heads, if you haven’t done a story by now on Angel, then your not going to?” Buffy looked straight ahead, clipped her seatbelt on and started up saying,
“Wasn’t about Angel, it was about you, and somebody called Drusilla”
“WHAT?!!” Spike’s shout made Buffy jump
“Jeez Spike, make me jump why don’t you!” Buffy still didn’t look at him, she reversed swiftly off the drive.
“S-sorry love…it, well it just came as a shock hearing her name, that’s all”
“So you DO know a Drusilla then?” Buffy was looking left so she could turn right onto the highway.
“Well, yeah…she was my girlfriend a while back…when I was in the Vampyres…bloody head-case she was too”
“Yes well, this ‘head-case’ has done a deal with Chronicle and has done a kiss and tell on your time together, no holds barred, warts and all, how you’d do it five times a night, sometimes you couldn’t even wait until you got to the hotel room and you’d do it in the lobby or on the fire escape - according to Des Cheadle, and did I want to comment” Buffy said, her voice tremulous, but she didn’t cry. Spike felt sick to his stomach.
“What did you say?” Spike asked quietly, worried, he was trying to think what else he’d got up to when he was with that girl…he couldn’t remember, but it wasn’t anything to do with the accident, it was just that half the time he was so drunk…or stoned from smoking weed…
Buffy was irritated, annoyed and jealous.
“Well what do you THINK I said, huh?” Spike winced and said
“Sorry love…I never thought for one minute that she’d…oh bloody hell!” Spike had just remembered the script he’d been offered, and working for the UKBC, well…you needed to keep your nose clean, didn’t need any scandals…
“Bloody hell what?”
“Nothing” He thought it best not to tell her he could be in England for the best part of two months after Christmas filming a show – not now here in the car anyway, she seemed angry enough without that being dropped on her.
“You can’t say ‘bloody hell’, then ‘nothing’ when I ask! – Oh and the same to you, how much fucking road do you want!” Buffy flipped a middle finger to the guy that horn-blasted her as she pulled out in front of him.
“Steady love!” Spike’s hand shot out and he held onto the dashboard for a second or two, her bad language and gesture shocked him.
“Do you want to drive?” she asked tersely, her knuckles were white on the steering wheel.
“No”
“Well then”
“Well then what?”
“Well then put up or…just f’get it!” Buffy wanted to cry. She didn’t know why she was shouting at Spike, or why she was quite so angry – all this was before he met her, but she just couldn’t bear the thought of reading about Spike being with another woman………
Buffy pulled onto the lot and parked quickly in her spot. She was out of the car and into the studio before Spike had even closed his door.
She made her way straight to the toilets and broke down in tears.
When Spike got in, he had big grins from Warren, Ford and Parker. Spike looked at them quizzically and asked,
“What?”
“And here’s me thinking MY name was Randy round here!” Parker said with a big grin, holding up the newspaper with its double-page spread…
Ford passed him the paper, Drusilla draped in a filmy gauze dress her hair cascading down over one shoulder looked sensuously into the camera, the headline read,
‘My Crazy Nights of Wild Sex and Drugs with the Vampyres’
Spike felt sick again.
“Where’s Buffy?” Willow asked her face looking upset
“I um…she just dashed from the car…oh god, why me, why now?” Spike sat down heavily in one of the chairs. Willow gave all the guys a disgusted glance and went to look for her friend.
“Buffy….Buffy are you in – there you are – are you okay?” Buffy had just opened a stall door when Willow came into the toilets. Buffy sniffed and wiped her eyes with the tissue she was holding.
“Oh don’t cry!” Willow went and put her arms around her friend and that was enough to make Buffy break down again. Willow let her cry for a minute or two, then the door opened and Faith walked in saying,
“Disgusting, randy little git! Surprised it hasn’t dropped off – I hope you made him get an AIDS test before you, you know, you two did it!”
This made Buffy cry harder and Willow mad, she rounded on Faith saying,
“FAITH! Watch what you say, it’s all lies most likely, she’s probably just some groupie who’s never even met him!” Faith preened herself in front of the mirror, fluffing her hair and smoothing her lips with her ring finger.
“Well, all I’m saying is, they way she reckons she’s put it about with all the group, I just hope Buffy’s practiced safe sex that’s all! – Anyway, Warren says five minutes” Faith said disappearing out of the door.
“Warren will just have to wait!” Willow said, fetching more tissue for Buffy.
Five minutes later, Tara came into the toilets. Buffy was holding a cold compress against her eyes to try and reduce the red puffiness from crying.
“Are you okay Buffy?” Buffy didn’t answer
“Well does she look it?” Willow asked, exasperated.
“Let Andy in make-up see what he can do, he can work wonders with a dab of concealer and some mineral powder” Tara said.
Buffy reluctantly left with Tara and Willow to go to make-up. Meanwhile, Spike had read the ‘first instalment’ of the story that was going to run all week, and knew that tomorrow would bring fresh horrors for him.
Warren shuffled the running order of the scenes to be filmed, so that meant the three scenes involving Buffy and Spike wouldn’t be filmed until after lunch, hopefully tempers and feelings would have calmed a little by then…well he could hope.
_____________
Both professionals, they got through the afternoons’ filming without anybody thinking there was anything wrong at all, smiling, happy and lines remembered.
They rode home in silence, and when they got into Buffy’s house, Buffy went straight upstairs.
Spike didn’t even take his coat off, he just sat on the sofa feeling miserable as hell. He heard the bedroom door open and the bathroom door close, and then the bath running.
When Buffy got out of the bath, she saw that there were no lights on downstairs and she checked her room, just the lamp on how she’d left it. She crept downstairs, but Spike wasn’t down there. She felt the panic rise in her chest and then she saw a piece of paper on the breakfast counter with her name on it.
“My darling Buffy (tears sprang to her eyes and she blinked them away) You so obviously don’t want me around you at the moment, and who can blame you. I’m so sorry and so angry at what Dru has done, and please believe me when I say half of what she’s written so far is untrue. I told you at the beginning I’ve never done coke (cocaine) or heroin and I only used to drink and smoke a bit of weed and sure, we used to have sex, she was my girlfriend, but I can assure you, I’m not up to five times a night or how ever many times the stupid bitch reckons. I’ve been on to Mr Farquhar to see if there’s anything I can do, his advice was this, I could just ignore it and let it all die down, or, I could do what’s called a ‘spoiler’ and put my side of the story in another paper. Thing is, I don’t care what other people think of me, you know the truth about me, and that’s all that matters to me, what YOU think. I love you so much and I have so much to be grateful for to you – I just feel so empty now this has happened. Please don’t let this ruin the most beautiful thing that’s ever happened to me, you’re the only one I want and love. Yours forever, Spike XX
Tears dripped on the letter and the words swam, she didn’t know what to do, until there was a knock at the door.
She sniffed and crept to the front door and looked out of the spy-hole. It was Willow. Buffy quickly opened up and let her best friend in.
“Spike’s g-gone! – He’s not here, he said (she started to cry again) he s-said he loves m-me - but I don’t know where he’s gone!”
Willow smiled and put her arms around her friend holding her and letting her cry
“Shh…don’t worry…he’s at our house. I phoned him and offered him the guest room while you sort out your feelings, it was dad’s idea. Come on, let’s make a cup of tea”
Buffy sat opposite Willow warming her hands around her mug.
“So…do you want him back?” Willow asked, and Buffy nodded saying,
“Yes, I love him so much!”
“Well that’s good!” Willow’s smile positively twinkled at her, and then she went serious faced
“Buffy, I hate to bring it up, but...well, what Faith was on about…Spike admitted he had sex with this girl as she was his girlfriend – have you two practiced safe sex?
“No, but I know he’s clean – he told me that he finished with his last girlfriend over 18 months ago, and had to undergo an AIDS test to get into this country – and that also proves he never did coke or heroin, he wouldn’t have been let it else if he’d had convictions”
“But did he have the follow-up AIDS test three months later?”
“Yup, he showed me, all clear, so don’t worry on that score” Buffy said. She drained her mug and stretched.
“Want to talk to him?”
“What, now – he’ll probably be asleep”
“No, he’s sitting by the phone, he told me he won’t sleep a wink”
“I – I don’t know what to say…I was such a bitch to him!” Buffy started to cry again.
“Hey don’t cry…he does understand you know, and he does love you”
“What that journalist said this morning, it just made me feel sick, he was gloating – really gloating delighting in telling me the sordid details…”
“Well, that’s what they’re like, anything for a story! Has Spike said what he’s going to do?”
Buffy shrugged saying,
“Mr Farquhar, his lawyer said he could do one of two things, either ignore it, or, do what’s called a spoiler”
“Spoiler? – What’s one of those?” Willow asked, draining her own mug.
“It’s where Spike also writes a kiss and tell, but from his side” Buffy explained
“Oh…that doesn’t sound so good, stooping to her level” Willow said with a frown
“Well, I suppose it’s – oh………(Buffy’s mobile rang, Spike’s name flashed up on the little screen) it’s him – shall I answer it?” Buffy said picking her mobile up.
“If you want, I’ll just go to the bathroom!” Willow said diplomatically
“Hello Spike” She said quietly
“Buffy, love – I couldn’t wait any longer, I’m going mad here – tell me I haven’t blown things with you”
“You haven’t blown things, it’s my fault, I was a bitch to you and –
“Don’t say that! If it hadn’t been for me…”
“Look, can we start again – it’s late now and we don’t want to throw the Rosenberg’s kind gesture of hospitality in their face, but just come home in the morning, please?”
“Oh Buffy! Oh god, you don’t know………you don’t know how happy that’s…Jeez for a while I thought I’d lost you! I love you I really LOVE you!” Spike voice was trembling, hardly holding in his emotions
“I know – I know – and I love you too, I’m sorry for…I just want you back”
Willow diplomatically waited on the stairs, but she was grinning as she’d heard every word Buffy said. After waiting another half minute, she came back into the kitchen. Buffy was at the kitchen sink swilling out the mugs, a big grin on her face.
“So?” Willow asked, smiling with her brows raised.
“He’s coming home tomorrow morning, we didn’t want to mess your parents around with their kind gesture of letting him stay. Are you staying the night here – I never asked how you got here in the first place”
“Dad dropped me off – and yes I’ll stay – if I keep staying at my parent’s place, mom will keep trying to feed me up!”
“It’s cold, you can bunk in with me I haven’t made up the spare bed”
“That’s okay…I’ve left some PJ here haven’t I?”
“Uh huh, airing cupboard, top shelf next to the towels”
“Can I have a shower?”
“Sure – have a bath if you want, there should still be loads of hot water”
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Author's Chapter Notes:
Am I getting boring? - the reviews are dropping off - thanks to all who are sticking with it!!