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Author's Chapter Notes:
I was absolutely blown away by the response to this story. Thank you all so much.

Special Thanks to Spikelissa for her beta job.
Chapter 2

Something had changed. She was a tower of strength. He had never before taken the time to notice just how much. Oh, he had always known she was strong. He just hadn’t realized how strong, until this moment.

A weaker person would have broken the second she had to plunge the sharp end of the sword into their first loves chest. A weaker person would have broken the second she found out that by giving the man that she loved the most precious gift he could ever receive, she had inadvertently awakened a monster. Hell, a weaker person would have broken the second the Master had plunged his fangs into her throat. The second she felt the icy fingers of death’s grip, but not Buffy Summers, she kept going, kept fighting, and always, always prevailed. She was bloody magnificent.

He couldn’t believe how enormously fucking stupid Angel was. What he wouldn’t give to be loved the way Buffy loved the great sodding poof. Spike knew that Dru never loved him, not the way he loved her, and before he had always been okay with that. Not anymore though, he knew he never wanted to be loves bitch again. He wanted someone to love him the way Buffy loved Angel. He wanted to be loved like that, and he wondered if this was why he was suddenly feeling for the girl. He honestly didn’t know, all he did know was something had changed.

Spike was torn out of his musing when Buffy’s small, “Hey,” sounded behind him in the kitchen entryway. “Hey, yourself kitten. Feelin’ any better?” He knew it was a dumb question, but he had to ask regardless.

Buffy turned her head for a moment biting her lower lip and shrugged. Spike just nodded and turned back to the tea he had been preparing for her. “I see you found everything okay.”

“Yah,” Buffy smiled, grateful for the change in topic. “I always leave a few outfits here. You know,” she shrugged, “just in case there’s some emergency slayage to be done.” She paused studying what he was doing, “Watcha making?”

Spike smiled at Buffy and handed her the cup. “Tea, just like my mum used to make when I was sick.”

She studied the contents in the cup for a moment before taking a small sip. “Hey that's pretty good.”

“ ‘Course it is.” His smile widened. Oh yeah, something had definitely changed. He couldn’t stop staring at her. He was just coming to realize how beautiful she really was. Her light burned brighter than the sun and no amount of heartache could ever completely extinguish it. God, why was he just seeing this now? Was it because he had been so enamored with Drusilla that he had never taken the time to pay attention, or was it always there, but he couldn’t admit to the possibility that there was something more to them than mortal enemies?

Buffy flushed a bit under his scrutiny. He was looking at her, as if he was seeing her for the first time, and it was making her self-conscious. She couldn’t help but bring it to his attention, “What?”

“You're just so strong, I never took the time to notice before.”

Buffy’s eyes filled with tears, she turned around walking into the living room and sitting on the couch. “You’re just saying that,” she whispered.

Spike walked up to her and used his finger to tilt her head so their eyes met, “No, I’m really not.”

Her sparkling eyes looked into his, and she began to cry harder, “I don’t feel very strong.”

Spike sighed nodding his head, “I suspect not. You took quite a blow today, but Buffy, I’ve killed two Slayers, and I can tell you right now they don’t hold a candle to you. The only reason they died is because they wanted to. Don’t let Angel be your downfall, pet. You’re stronger than that.”

“I get what you’re saying, I do,” she sniffled, “But how am I supposed to go on knowing what I know, knowing what we could have had?” She sighed and wiped her eyes. “He was everything he said I needed, everything I wanted, and he just ripped it away without even talking to me. Without even asking me what I wanted.” She shook her head exhaling deeply, “I told him I understood, but I don’t. The only thing I understand now... He never loved me, because how can you love someone if you’re not willing to make a sacrifice for them?”

Spike didn’t want to say what he was thinking, but it was something that had to be said. “I am by no means defending Peaches, but don’t you think that’s what he thought he was doing.”

Buffy shook her head without missing a beat, “No, if that were the real reason, if he had done it to protect me, he would be here now. I could die at anytime, it could be something as simple as a fledgling that gets me or as disastrous as an apocalypse. If he’s not here, how is that protecting me?”

She had him there. “I don’t know? Why do you think he really did it?” He really wanted to know. There must be something she wasn’t telling him, some revelation she had that led her to this point.

She took a deep breath. He could tell she was still trying to reign in her emotions. Her bottom lip began to quiver as she tried quelling her tears. “I think he did it,” she whispered, “Because he was never in love with me. I guess he thought I was somehow his redemption, and when he realized he didn’t need me for that…Being the hero was more important to him.” The tears that had been gathering in her eyes cascaded down her cheeks once more.

Spike was struck by how true what she had just said rang. He had always known what a selfish arrogant bastard Angelus was. He had just not known his counterpart was just the same. He couldn’t help it, he pulled Buffy into his arms once more, “I’m so sorry, luv.”

She nodded sniffling against his black tee, “Thanks.”

Spike suddenly got a crazy idea. He realized as soon as her friends and Watcher showed up this, whatever it was, would end. He didn’t want it to, without exploring further what it was that was going on between them, “Do you want to go somewhere?”

Buffy abruptly pulled back to look in his eyes, “Are you serious?”

Spike looked away shrugging nonchalantly before meeting her eyes again. “You have until Monday before you had to be back to school, right?”

She nodded while studying his expression and eyes for a minute. She could tell he was being completely sincere.

He cleared his throat before saying, “Well, it is only Friday,” then looked behind him at the clock. “We could go anywhere in California and still be back in time for your classes. I think what you need is a break, yeah? Some time to just forget about what’s happened, forget who you are for a couple of days and just relax.”

Shock filled her eyes and something close to amazement. “You’d do that for me? Take me anywhere in California for the weekend.”

He ran his free hand through his hair before responding with, “Yeah, but it’s not just for you. I’m sick of being tied to that bloody bathtub.”

Buffy started to giggle and he was truly happy he was able to bring a smile to her face.

“Spike?”

“Yeah luv?”

“How does San Francisco sound?”

His smile brightened at that, “Bloody brilliant.”


Chapter End Notes:
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