Hearing the alarm go off, Buffy knew this time she had to get up but she didn’t want to leave Spike’s comfortable arms. She crawled out of bed though placing a kiss on his lips, which had him mumbling her name as she raced down the stairs into the shower downstairs. She didn’t have time to mess with the Jacuzzi in the morning so she would use the only bathroom of the house. Donning her chosen outfit for the day, she went down the stairs stopping at the table near the stairs as something caught her eye.
She saw a note from Dawn wishing her luck at college. Buffy found herself smiling as she tucked the note into her pants pocket until she saw Tara sitting in the living room quietly reading a book. Buffy said, “Morning Tara. No school?”
Tara shook her head, “I have a headache and I’ve been thinking a lot lately about things and I think they are stressing me out.”
Buffy gestured for Tara to join her as she ate her breakfast. She pulled out corn pops and filled her bowl barely taking the time to add milk before she shoveled some into her mouth, “Did you need to talk about it?”
Tara shrugged as she sat down her book, “I’m worried about Willow. A lot has been going on and she’s practicing magic again and I know it’s normal because I practice magic but after the Dawn incident where she was almost killed, I’m worried. I’ve tried to stand by her supporting her and offering her a solid ground to stand on. I’ve tried acting as her catalyst so that she had someone grounded while she practiced magic but she was addicted to some serious black magic there with Rack and I barely even knew it. I mean I knew she was on a magic-high but I figured a spell could easily do that. I didn’t realize she was getting a boost from Rack. Should I talk to her about it?”
Buffy nodded finishing up her cereal, “I think you should. I think you guys need to have a heart to heart. She needs to know how much this is bothering you so perhaps you can work it out. Nothing works out without communication. Course I’m stating this as Spike and I have this huge pink elephant in the room with us a lot.”
Tara looked surprised, “You guys seem so good together and I barely see you fight.”
Buffy bit her lower lip collecting a jacket noticing she had about 5 minutes to spare, “That’s just it, we don’t fight. If we do we solve it by violence and is that normal or healthy? We spar when angry, we yell when upset, we punch when in pain and none of that can be normal. I know those are just excuses and that isn’t the main issue. Spike seems unhappy or at least unsatisfied. I think I’m becoming that way too. What do you do when you are unsettled but too scared to take the next step?”
Tara whispered softly as she patted Buffy’s hand, “I wish I knew Buffy. I think you should talk to Spike about that while I talk to Willow about my issues. Care to make it a date tonight?”
Buffy looked nervous but nodded putting her new bank card into her pocket, “Ok I hate to talk and run but I have to go register before all the good classes are taken. It’s a big day. I have to sign up for fall and summer classes. I’m excited!”
Tara smiled along with Buffy and whispered towards her, “Good luck!”
Buffy nodded and ran out of the door letting it slam shut behind her.
Tara sat in the chair in the living room while Spike sat with a book on his lap on the couch. He was making notes on a piece of paper when Tara spoke up, “Spike, do you think Willow is using too much magic?”
Spike put down his book glancing towards Tara with a serious look on his face, “Magic has consequences and your bird seems to have no idea that’s the case. Red’s messing with some powerful stuff that could easily bloody well end the world and she seems to think it’s like children’s candy instead of mojo she is dabbling in. I think she needs a serious wake up call and some training. That’s just my opinion though Glinda. What do you think?”
Tara sighed, “I agree with you but I don’t know how to tell her I feel that way.”
Spike studied her for a moment and then gave a nod, “Not that I’m good with relationship advice and actually I bloody well suck at it but I think you should tell her the truth. Go to her with concerns and see if she will offer that she is afraid like you. If not then approach it with care because she’s powerful and a sodding scary witch. I don’t want you hurt.”
Tara smiled gently, “I won’t be. I’m just worried Willow or someone else will be.”
Spike nodded as Tara got up stating, “I’m going to go take a hot bath, if anyone comes home, you can let them know that’s where I’ll be.”
Spike watched Tara go with his mind heavy on Buffy. Perhaps he should talk to Buffy about how he felt and be honest with her. He just didn’t want her to panic and kick him out or something worse. He sighed as he turned back to his novel writing, determined not to think about it anymore.
Buffy raced into house jumping onto Spike’s lap ignoring the papers that fell to the floor as she held out her schedule in front of her, “Guess what??”
Spike chuckled putting his hands on her hips pushing her back off his chest and onto his knees so he could actually see what she was holding. He removed his glasses setting them aside and then grinned, “Wow you arranged them beautifully, 9 to 3 which is just what you wanted! Aren’t you glad I talked you into quitting that job? It was killing you sweetheart. It was slowly sucking the life out of your system so all that was left was a settling Buffy with no purpose.”
Buffy nodded as she curled up next to Spike pushing him slightly backwards towards the back of the couch to make room for herself. She felt his arms wrap around her as she whispered, “You really think I can do the school thing right?”
Spike chuckled and placed a kiss on her forehead, “I think you Buffy Summers, can do anything you put your heart to and with a house full of college students, a straight A high school student and a guy who graduated honors with a doctrine, I say you are well covered.”
Buffy snuggled back getting closer allowing his arms to tighten around her, “You will help me right?”
Spike nodded but also added, “Yes but I really think you can handle this.”
They laid there together quietly even as Dawn came home from school an hour later and turned on the television to watch her show. After the show, Buffy turned to Spike asking, “Can we go upstairs for a bit? I want to use your computer for a while. You can go back to working on your novel. I don’t mind.”
Spike smiled and nodded helping her up and the duo disappeared upstairs.
Buffy sat at Spike’s computer looking up mating in the research books that had been already scanned in and updated in the program. She looked at a few watcher diaries they had managed to collect over the years but mating wasn’t mentioned only in passing in regards to vampires. She then dove into a book written by an educated vampire back in the 1500’s about mating rituals when it was highly practiced. It listed the pros and cons. Buffy’s eyes read through the pros: 1. Intense feelings that are shared 2. Your partner will know what you are feeling 3. You will never be alone 4. Special skills and powers are shared 5. Devoted commitment. 6. You can always find your mate.
She sighed as she went to the cons section: 1. If one mate dies, they both die. She paused, that was a major draw back. She was mortal and would more certainly die someday and Spike was a vampire and well he could die by a piece of wood not that either of them would let that happen to the other. Besides did she really want to deal with this world without him? 2. You are bound past eternity to one mate.
Well for her that wasn’t a problem because Spike had pretty much ruined her for anyone else. Never before had her life been so complete and mostly perfect. There was no way anyone in her life could know her so well and understand her so well as Spike could. Next 3. The claim will erase all other bites but it will leave an ever-lasting deep scar noticeable by other demons and vampires.
Buffy frowned as she reached up touching the marks on her neck. She had three of them in one spot. First the Master’s death to kill, then Angel’s bite to feed, and finally Dracula’s bite to thrall. She would love to have them disappear but this had no bearing on why she was researching vampire mating.
She sighed closing that book and then opened another that was written by a demon. She glanced through the parts Spike had translated and noticed it had to do with mating rituals as well. She felt Spike’s presence and decided this was as good as a time as any. She felt herself being spun around as Spike knelt in front of her eyeing what she was researching before turning his glance on her, “Mating rituals? Buffy what are you up to?”
Buffy sighed as she pushed past him pacing, “You aren’t happy. We have this amazing relationship but it’s majorly flawed and you aren’t happy. We don’t handle things with a healthy manner because we fight and are physically violent although we are usually not causing each other any pain but is that normal?”
Spike spun her around, “Ok Buffy in a matter of seconds, you just changed topics three times. First off, there’s a difference between happy and satisfied. I love you and I’m very happy being with you. I’m edgy and unsatisfied but it’s not your fault. I struggle because I have this demon inside of me…”
He put a finger in front of her mouth when she started to talk, “No hear me out. It’s not because I want to feed or anything vampirey. It’s because I have a need to belong and be mated to the person I truly love. Vampires often spend their whole lives either unable to love or searching for the mate that would complete them. As you probably have found out due to your research, when we find this mate…we want to bond with them. It’s what part of me is longing for. I want to belong to you and have you belong to me. I know that scares you and makes you want to run because you have that look in your eyes right now that tells me the second I let you go you will run downstairs or even outside to hide since I can’t follow you into the sun but that’s why I seem unsatisfied.”
Buffy sighed as she pulled herself out of his grasp, “I’m scared, you are right. I don’t know what to do about it. Can I have some time to think this through? Can I continue my research? Can I….”