Minutes ticked by as Buffy continued to alternate staring between William and the pesky demon snarling at her from across the room. Thoughts were jumbled inside her head as she tried to find possible meanings to what William had just said ‘cause there was no way in hell she could have heard him right. His blue eyes bored into her own as he waited rather impatiently for an answer. His long, agile fingers tapped nervously against her blanket-covered knee as he tried to form the words he had long wanted to say but never had the opportunity before she decided to run from him again, and seeing as how running wasn’t much of an option for her now…it was the perfect time.
“Buffy, pet, you know I’ve wanted you forever…always will, but I need some type of reassurance that you ‘n me is what you want. I don’t want to leave ‘ere thinking we’ve got this all sorted out jus’ to find out ‘n a couple ‘f months that you want someone or something else. I want all of you ‘n well, now the ball’s in your court, pet, it’s up to you to decide what you really want. I’m ready ‘n willin’ to stand by you in whatever you want to do but if you want something other than me, well, ‘m also ready to walk back out that door ‘n leave you to it. Won’t ‘ave a song in my ‘eart but I’d wish you the best.” He shook his head lightly and toyed with the edge of the thin hospital issue blanket before daring a glance back at her confused expression. “I love you, kitten, ‘n I want to spend the rest ‘f my life showin’ you that…if you’ll
‘ave me that is.”
Buffy blinked slowly as she caught sight of the small demon waving manically at her from the opposite side of the room.
Whistler stepped forward and gave a little wave of his hand, watching as the beeping machines paused and William froze in place.
“What in God’s Holy name are you doing, Princess?” He asked exasperatedly. “You’ve got Prince Charming ready to lay his life down for you and you’re staring at the wall like it’s some priceless painting. It’s easy- just open your mouth and make sound come out, preferably anything sounding like a ‘yes’ would be good. I want to go home!” The little demon pouted. If he had to spend one more day with the pampered princess, he was going to…well, he didn’t know really what he was going to do since it was against the rules to choke a client to death or until they agreed to listen to him.
Buffy blinked again, “You made the room freeze.”
Whistler rolled his eyes and snapped his fingers in front of her face. “Would you please try to concentrate here? Prince Charming over there wants you to marry him, why, I don’t know ‘cause if I were him I’d be running down the highway to get away from you but that’s neither here nor there.” At her bemused smirk, he frowned and continued. “Look, you have two options here: one, you say yes to him or you go back to being the selfless bitch you were before and the Judge finally gets a piece of you.”
“So you’re telling me that I have to marry Spike or I’m going to hell. That doesn’t seem like a very good choice to make and why would the powers or whatever care about my love life? If you ask me they sound a bit too much like my mother.”
Whistler’s hand crushed down on his fedora as he fought off the urge to choke her. “Well, it’s a good thing no one is asking you, isn’t it? Just answer his damn question and living happily ever after so I can go home. I’m missing Oprah because of you!”
“What if I can’t tell him yes?” She bit down on her lower lip and glanced over at the frozen William in trepidation. “What if I can’t say yes because I don’t want to ruin his life? He deserves better than me and he knows it.”
“GAH! What the hell is wrong with you?” Whistler banged his hand on the bed’s railing, his eyes focused firmly on Buffy. “What more does he have to do before you’ll say yes and get me out of this hell hole? He wants you, sweetheart, and he’ll do anything you want him to as long as you prove to him that you want him as well but if you decide you want him gone…that’s it! He’s gone. This is your deciding moment, this moment determines whether you spend the rest of your life in prison and the rest of your eternity in hell or if you want the chance to redeem yourself and get your aerobe -sized booty back on the path to your destiny.”
Buffy cringed at his harsh tone before resuming her rigid position on the bed. “What the hell was that about prison, Sparky?”
Whistler shook his head, “I’ve told you more than I was supposed. Look, honey, all I can say is that if you don’t get off your high horse and see the people around you for who they really are instead of what they can do for you you’re going to end up hurting some of them in a real bad way.”
Buffy couldn’t find the words to express her confusion…her guilt at something that hadn’t happened yet. “What does that have to do with Spike?” When Whistler said nothing, she pressed harder. “You have to tell me. Don’t just leave this hanging. I have to know what William has to do with this.”
Whistler sighed, “He helps save you from yourself, in a way that is. He gives you the one thing you needed to save yourself from turning your back on mankind and using them as pawns in your effort to improve yourself. He grounds you.”
“What does he give me?’
“I can’t answer that. Just know that it is something that you’ve wanted your entire life, you’ve envied others for it, yet, you don’t want to let yourself want it.” He brushed his fingertips against her chest, directly over her heart. “It’s your heart’s desire and everything you thought you would never have. Everything you’re too afraid to let yourself have.”
“Unfreeze the room. I know my answer.”
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Author's Chapter Notes:
Wow, it's been awhile since I've updated and I'd like to apologize for that. My hard drive was wiped clean so I'm in the process of A) locating fics on discs or, B) re-writing what seems to be permanently lost. Thank you for being patient with me as I tried to recover what was lost.