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Author's Chapter Notes:
Yes, I am evil. I own it.
Sunnydale General Hospital, Elevator 4- Somewhere between floors 5 and 4

“I’ve got a secret, I’ve got a secret,” Dawn bounced around gleefully, ignoring the irritated glances Joyce kept shooting at her as they waited for the elevator. The plan had been to find the cafeteria and then bring the food back up to Buffy’s room but at this point Joyce was more concerned with adopting her youngest out to the first reasonably decent couple. The bouncing and singing had been tolerable for the first few minutes.

“Dawn! Enough already. Either tell me what the secret is or I’m leaving you here with your sister for the night.” That seemed to do the trick. It appeared her youngest was still slightly intimidated with the prospect of being alone with the cold presence of her sister. Truth be told, Joyce had had to get out of there herself.

“Spike still loves Buffy.” The teen grinned.

Her mother did not.

“That was your secret?” Joyce paused, “Sweetheart, I think everyone but your sister knows that detail.”

“B-but…I have a secret.” Dawn pouted. “He’s still totally over the moon for the ice bitch...”

“Don’t use that word.” She didn’t bother defending her eldest. “Buffy will come around in her own time. She’s been through quite an ordeal and it will take her time to recover from it. The best we can do right now is support her and let her know that we’re there and if she just so happens to gain a boyfriend from it…so be it.” And if that boyfriend just so happens to like coming over for hot chocolate and conversation, so be it. And if that boyfriend just so happens to bring my daughter along with him so we can actually talk…I should buy Dawn that puppy she’s wanted for awhile.


Back inside Buffy’s room

“Your mum said you wanted to talk,” Spike stood in the doorway, unable to meet her eyes as he shifted back and forth on his feet. His fists bunching with every tap of his right toe. The pale pink walls screamed at him to make the first move…or run, running seemed like a great option at the moment. The television set mounted on the wall was blank and he could see her reflection in it no matter where else he seemed to look in the room. From her room he could see City Hall and Sunnydale University as well as the park they’d made love in after hours, the park bench specifically. Every sound in the room echoed around as it bounced off the cold, unforgiving white tile. The beeping machines monitoring his love’s body responses confirmed she was still with him, in front of him and still watching him.

“Yeah I, uh, do you want to sit or something?” She motioned weakly towards the chairs surrounding the bed as her hand nervously tapped out an unknown message in Morse code. The I.V jiggled slightly within the vein as drugs were pumped continuously through her system, making the pain bearable if not completely obsolete. The doctor had warned that the stitches in her leg wouldn’t hold through strenuous activity, let alone walking around the room so she was confined to the bed. Quite literally a hostage in the building as the various wires strung about held her captive.

He stood for a moment more before fiddling with his jacket and finally agreeing to a seat next to her. They were as close as they had been in two years. Less than a foot separated them yet it seemed like an eternity. He glanced around the room at anything and everything while his fingers toyed with the buttons on his royal blue dress shirt. It was one she had bought for him and thus, his favorite from that moment on. His designer shoes drummed against the tile. They were yet another reminder that he had changed his look for her. When she had been hired with Giles Incorporated, he’d wanted to do everything in his power to keep her and being dressed to the nines had been the compromise. Everything was about appearances so his bleached hair and black t-shirts hadn’t made the cut yet he’d changed with a smile on his face and a song in his heart if it meant she’d stay with him and continue to let him love her.

“I like the shirt, it, uh, really brings out your eyes.” Buffy groaned internally. She had recognized the shirt intimately when he had stepped into the room. Although her memory was a little fuzzy as she’d remembered usually being the one wearing it…and nothing else around their apartment, her apartment now.

He blinked at her.

Surely she remembered waltzing around their place in it, blonde hair bouncing around her shoulders when she…, “you, uh, you bought it for me love. Are we actually going to do the talking thing or should I just let the door hit me on my way out?” His patience was wearing thin at the moment. Sitting in her presence was almost too much for him and the fact that he couldn’t touch her…wait! Was that her hand on his…it was most definitely her little hand on his own. The warm flesh cupping his own slightly chilled hand as her fingers idly traced circles along the back of it as he watched.

“Luv?”

“Sorry, I ,uh…just sorry.” Her hand went to leave his but he quickly entwined their fingers to stop her.

“I don’t mind but what is this? You can’t deny the chemistry between us, Buffy. It roars and burns…”

“Until we burn out again…I don’t know what this William but I…I want us to try again. I mean, only if you want to and obviously this could be the drugs talking but…” She didn’t have time to pull away or protest before his lips were descending on hers. His free hand cupped her cheek gently, avoiding the bruises, and caressed the skin lightly with his thumb.

“I love you.”

Buffy looked over at Whistler, who’d appeared in the middle of the kiss and was looking quite pleased with himself. He nodded and waved his hands in her direction, urging her on. Maybe there was a chance in hell for her after all.

“I…”





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