In the restaurant Wesley had chosen Buffy was happily eating a ham and cheese deli sandwich while Wesley enjoyed a fresh house salad along with his turkey and bacon sandwich. He looked nervous and worried and finally Buffy asked, “What is bothering you? I’d think it had something to do with my news about all those vampires and demons that attacked me last night but it was before then. You look as though you have the weight of the world on your shoulders.” Wesley put down his fork as he admitted, “I do. Angel shared with us a plan today to take out the Black Thorn. They are the head of the law firm and the people who determine apocalypses. Attacking them means death but I don’t really have a reason to live anymore with Fred gone. So I’m game for attacking them and postponing evil from trying to take over. It might give just one person in the world a bit of happiness for a while if the evil people of this world were preoccupied with fighting us rather than making their life miserable.” Buffy watched the facial expressions and knew exactly how he felt as he continued, “I’d do this for Fred so that some other couple could be happy even if it meant my death.”
Buffy nodded feeling her appetite slipping away, “So this fight that is planned, it’s a death sentence. Anyone who joins will die?” Wesley shrugged, “It sure sounded that way. I don’t believe I will die but then again I don’t like to think that way. Reality of this situation is, Angel is probably right in saying we won’t walk away from this kind of a battle. We are up against the most evil of evils. How do 6 people walk away from that kind of fight?” Buffy noticed the 6 people comment but figured Wesley, the God that Fred was now, Angel, Gunn, Lorne and Harmony made 6 so dismissed it from her mind. She let out a sigh, “Wesley, you were a watcher once. In your opinion should I involve the slayers in this kind of fight?” Wesley shook his head, “Yes I was a watcher and I say no. We signed our souls away to this place so when we die we become them. It is our battle not yours or any others. We are making the world a better place for the slayers. So no Buffy, I would stay out of this fight. The ones fighting have nothing to live for. We have done our part and fought the battles and now we are stuck in an evil law firm responsible for the possible destruction of the world. There is nothing in our future but in yours, it should look bright.”
He hesitated thinking of who was also in the battle but instead of saying what he wanted he questioned, “Buffy are you finished? You didn’t eat much so I’ll have it wrapped up for us but I have lost my appetite. I think you need to talk to Angel and perhaps someone else right now instead of me taking away your time. Ready to head back?” Buffy nodded and watched as the waiter brought two boxes and put their food in them. Wesley paid for their meal and before she knew it, she was heading back to the law firm.
While Angel sat at his desk, Buffy paced back and forth in front of him, “I don’t think this battle is a good thing and I don’t think L.A. is a great place for me to be Angel. I plan to head back tonight if you can spare me the plane. I want to get out of here. Wesley filled me in and well… I think, suffice to say, that the slayers don’t belong here. You are clearly involved in some evil I can’t possibly fathom. You sold your soul essentially to the devil here and you are stuck. Slayers don’t belong here anymore than I do. I’m sorry Angel but…”
The door to Angel’s place swung open and she turned around and gasped. There in front of her stood Spike looking surprisingly healthy and not dust. Her hand went to her mouth. She pushed back Spike with tears pouring down her face faster than she could stop them and ran into the hallway. She banged on the elevator ignoring the sounds of Spike and Angel both calling her name as she thought quickly and pushed 14. When the doors opened she pushed past the vampires and demons and ran into Wesley’s office in tears. She didn’t even notice that Gunn and Lorne were also in the office with him as she sat down on the gray couch and cried bitterly with her hands covering her eyes. She felt the couch give way as she heard Wesley’s voice whisper, “Buffy what happened?” Buffy wiped her eyes but the tears wouldn’t stop pouring out of her as she sniffed trying to regain her voice but all she would muster was, “Spike.”
She heard an unfamiliar voice, “So this is Buffy, the love of both Spike and Angel’s life. I thought she was in Rome and had moved on with her life to be with the great Immortal?” Wesley hushed the voice as Buffy tried to regain control. She took a deep breath as she glanced up towards the three faces staring at her. She felt embarrassed and upset and wanted to just disappear. She had thought Wesley would be alone and since he had dealt with Fred’s death, she thought he might be sympathetic and offer some sort of comfort but then it hit her. Spike was alive in this building. Spike had gone into Angel’s office without knocking. She stood up backing towards the door as she declared, “You knew. You listened to me cry over him during breakfast and lunch and you knew all along. YOU KNEW!” The tears poured down her face but she didn’t care anymore. She felt betrayed and wanted out of L.A. as fast as she could go.
She turned around to run and ran into a cool body she immediately recognized. She hit him hard in the chest over and over again screaming hysterically, “You’re alive and I was crying over you. You are fine and alive and I’m feeling dead. How could you do that to me? You died. I watched you die…you dusted before I even left you were dusting and you left me and…and you were dead.” She was sobbing now barely making sense as she stood there, her blows to his chest becoming weaker and weaker until she swayed with emotions. Spike’s arms wrapped around her as she stated, “Don’t touch me. You left me. You were just like the others; you were like my dad, Riley and Angel. How dare you…don’t leave me again.” She started sobbing against Spike’s chest as her hands unraveled from their twisted fists. The others, including Angel, disappeared from the room so that by the time Buffy had exhausted her tears, it was just her and Spike left.
She was angry again as soon as she saw those piercing blue eyes . She felt renewed strength flow through her as she backed away, slamming her fist into his chest and then towards his nose. He ducked but still fell backwards as she swept her leg under his feet. He landed with a loud growl and she jumped on top of him screaming, “You left me! Spike why?? You were dead. Why are you alive and with Angel? You hated me so much that you would rather be with Angel than me? YOU HATED ME THAT MUCH?” Buffy’s voice echoed through the hallway but still the battle didn’t stop. She was under him now thanks to Spike rolling them over and she still continued to punch him not knowing how to deal with this. He was dead and yet alive and fine and this information was killing her. She had been angry at the gods for taking him away but was even angrier with him for showing back up and not coming for her. She managed to roll Spike back onto the ground and punched his chest until finally Spike grabbed her wrists. She flinched as he grazed one of the scratches on her arm that had not completely healed.
He frowned as he lifted the arm of her sleeve to reveal the scratches. His face was full of concern as he started to lift up her shirt and she pushed him away to stand up. She stood up too fast and swayed slightly as her leg gave her trouble. “What happened to you?” Buffy rolled her eyes going to sit on the couch as her blood filled the air. Apparently her rough and tumbling with Spike had reopened the gash on her leg. She sighed as she glanced down at her bleeding leg.
Spike knelt in front of her and undid the bandage to reveal a definitely opened wound. Angel rushed into the room with a roar, “My God, you hurt her enough to draw blood? I know you guys supposedly fought hard and long and were brutal but that’s ridiculous.” Buffy frowned, “He didn’t do it. I went patrolling last night and went into one of the cemeteries and didn’t even make it more than 5 steps in before I had battles upon battles on my hands. My leg got hurt by a one of the 9 demons I killed. Then my arms and neck…” She flinched as she felt Spike pulled the neck of the turtleneck aside to reveal the large gashes the vampire had left behind. Spike growled but she was used to this reaction from him and continued, “My neck got hurt when I had to tackle the last 3 vampires of the 21 I had to dust. Your town is overrun by vampires.”
She noticed Angel’s face twitch and she figured it was from the smell of her blood. Angel disappeared as Spike gestured, “May I? It’s driving me nuts too.” Buffy shrugged gesturing with her hands that she didn’t care. She was just too angry to worry about little things that Spike had done dozens of times before. She felt the healing salvia of Spike on her leg and leaned back with a sigh as he repeated it twice before bandaging the wound back up. Spike moved to sit next to her and she frowned, “Why are you alive?” She was just too tired to fight and too tired to cry. She was now numb and ready to listen to his story.